Allowance?

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AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560
Allowance?

I can't remember if we have done this one or not. I came across this elsewhere and was surprised by the following discussion.

Do you give your kids an allowance? Money for doing chores or do they just need to do what is asked?

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

Yes, I give Jace $2 for helping to take the trash and recycling outside on Sunday nights. If I ask him for help with other things, he will also receive a few more dollars here and there.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

Normal jobs are just expected to be done. Something above and beyond like folding her little sisters clothes I might give a quarter (7yo). For my younger girls I give a sticker for an exceptional job on something.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

Both, and they don't get much even at almost 9 and 10 they get $2 a week now. my 10 yo does the laundry and 9 yo the dishes. With my migraines everyday all day for this last year it has been a necessity that they help out, and only fair they get paid a bit. They do have to also keep their rooms clean and stuff cleaned up, and help without talking back other jobs. They get paid extra if I need them to wash and clean out the van for example, wash windows, floors, pull weeds, etc.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

Normal jobs are just expected to be done. Something above and beyond like folding her little sisters clothes I might give a quarter (7yo). For my younger girls I give a sticker for an exceptional job on something.

Lol, a quarter? Is this the 1920's?

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

We recently switched to a system of giving them an allowance, but really it is all the money we would have given them in a week anyways. For example, they get all the money for lunches and clothing and other "necessities" and we dont give them another dime. If I ask them to do chores and it isnt done within a timely manner I will pay another child to do it and then take the money out of the childs allowance that didnt do the chore. It took less then a week for them to realize that they would lose money quickly for not doing what was asked of them. They are also figuring out that they can make their money go a lot farther if the shop for sales.
They each have 3 age appropriate chores to do a day and then anything above and beyond that they make extra. My 12 year old is really wanting to buy more clothes now so she is constantly asking what she can do to make more money.
Oh and the 10 year old and the 12 year old are totally in charge of their own laundry, which they actually love. They have found it much easier to keep track of their things if they are the only ones dealing with it.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

Once ds is older he will get pocket money, a small amount just for neing him, then chores which will earn up to the rest. money can be docked for not completing chores, misbehaviour etc, extra chosres can earn extra or other rewards. It won't be a huge amount though i'm not a give your kids $20 for pocket money kind of person

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Nope. He's expectex to help with everything we do becajse he'sa member of our family. When he gets older we may rethink it. I think 2 for taking out the trash is insane. Must be nice to have that kind of extra money to give to your kid for stuff they're supposed to do.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

My youngest daughter (5) is not a hard worker and we struggle to get her to complete basic chores like keeping her room clean and clearing her spot at the table. Those are required duties and do not receive any pay. Now that we have a puppy she is also required to take her out and help clean up after her (those things she does happily).

My oldest daughter (7) loves to help out around the house and is always willing to do extra to be helpful. She cleans her bathroom (other than the toilet and mirror), cleans baseboards, sweeps, etc. Because she is so helpful she earns $5/week which she always saves and spends on gym class. She knows that gym is an extra, so if she wants to do it she'll have to pay for it. In addition I will sometimes buy her something small or take her out for something special if I see that she's had extra good behavior lately. For example, a few days ago I took her to Cold Stone after dinner which was a big treat because we rarely go out for ice cream. I'm hoping that my youngest will see that she is missing out and will decide on her own to take on some more responsibility.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

Lol, a quarter? Is this the 1920's?

What does a 7yo need more than a quarter for? She does not go places without us and we pay for the the things she needs.

I am more in the camp that every member of the family needs responsiblies and does not need to get paid for doing what they are told.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

What does a 7yo need more than a quarter for? She does not go places without us and we pay for the the things she needs.

I am more in the camp that every member of the family needs responsiblies and does not need to get paid for doing what they are told.

No doubt. My 7 y.o. would be thrilled with a quarter. Probably because she doesn't feel entitled to have more.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

"wlillie" wrote:

Nope. He's expectex to help with everything we do becajse he'sa member of our family. When he gets older we may rethink it. I think 2 for taking out the trash is insane. Must be nice to have that kind of extra money to give to your kid for stuff they're supposed to do.

I don't consider taking out the trash something MY child is supposed to do (perhaps it's something YOUR child is supposed to do), that's why I give him $2.00 for it. If he is tired or doesn't want to do it, he doesn't have to, and he doesn't earn $2.00. He is supposed to put his toys away when he is finished with them. He is supposed to take his plate to the kitchen counter from the table when he is done. He is 5.5 years old, I'd like for him to be a child and not have a million chores at this age. As he gets older, he will have more labored responsibilities, such as vacuuming the stairs or something.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

What does a 7yo need more than a quarter for? She does not go places without us and we pay for the the things she needs.

I am more in the camp that every member of the family needs responsiblies and does not need to get paid for doing what they are told.

To save her money for something she wants. I found in my experience, children love to save money, and go to a store and buy a toy they want (obviously they don't NEED a toy). They like handing their earned money to the cashier. My son never asks for money after he has done something, even taking out the trash. I just give it to him and he says thank you. In a few weeks, we take some of it and he can buy something of his liking within the price range. It's 2012, I like giving my kid realistic goals and realistic payments and only a quarter is not anything I would give for doing a chore. Perhaps I'm too generous, I dunno. If it works for your family though, that's great Smile

Joined: 04/12/03
Posts: 1686

I give my 8 YO $10/week and my 15 YO $15/week. The 15 YO is deeply in debt to me because she broke her retainer ($400) and her phone ($99 with warranty). She spends $5/week on her data plan for her phone and I keep the $10/week until her debt is paid off. She's about half-way there.

We are on our last day of vacation and my 8 YO is doing far better than her sister. She picked out things carefully and asked for few extras. The 15 YO spend all her money on CD's the first day and then still wanted a few things here and there. I'm just extending her debt until it's all paid off.

The younger one has a lot of money saved up and once in a while wants to use her money on stuff. She is very proud that she has managed to save.

The standard school of thought is $1/week per age so I try to follow it.

BTW: I would be thrilled with quarters! As long as they are state quarters or National Parks quarters. LOL

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

We tried an allowance with Nathaniel, and it didn't really connect for him. He does the chores he's supposed to do, and I wouldn't pay him for that, but occasionally I will ask him to do a really big chore and pay him for it. When they take better care of their possessions, we'll start giving them an allowance as well. I need to see some responsibility before I hand over cash!

They get money for birthdays and such from various relatives, and we're trying to teach them to put it somewhere safe and save it for a treat. We'll get there eventually.

I had an allowance as a kid and it was great, so I do plan to steer them in that direction. And mine wasn't for chores, I had to do chores regardless.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Yeah. At 3 he started with putting silverware away. Now that he's 4 he's expected to help dad with oil changes• trash*weeding#and grocery shopping. He helps me mop$ vacuum*dust#clean bathrooms and helps with the baby. All on top of helping taking care of homself including his laundry dishes meals and getting himself dressed And packing his own bags for trips. I expect we're going to disagree as dh didn't have an allowance but wasn't expected to do much around the house. I did and was. He's still bettervwith mo.ey. I think giving too much money tends to make a child think they are too good for teenage work when the time comes. What are you going to do whem mini
um wage is 10 an hour because of i flation but Jace knows he can make that by taking out the trash at home?

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

"wlillie" wrote:

Yeah. At 3 he started with putting silverware away. Now that he's 4 he's expected to help dad with oil changes• trash*weeding#and grocery shopping. He helps me mop$ vacuum*dust#clean bathrooms and helps with the baby. All on top of helping taking care of homself including his laundry dishes meals and getting himself dressed And packing his own bags for trips. I expect we're going to disagree as dh didn't have an allowance but wasn't expected to do much around the house. I did and was. He's still bettervwith mo.ey. I think giving too much money tends to make a child think they are too good for teenage work when the time comes. What are you going to do whem mini
um wage is 10 an hour because of i flation but Jace knows he can make that by taking out the trash at home?

Those are a lot of expectations for a 4-year-old. Again, whatever works for your family.

I don't know why you've brought up minimum wage in the future when Jace doesn't earn minimum wage presently. He makes $2.00 when he takes out trash and recycling. Federal minimum wage is $7.25.

I used to earn $5.00/week when I was a child. Somehow I still grew up fine with excellent work ethics and was only making $5.15/hour when I got a job at 16.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

"wlillie" wrote:

Yeah. At 3 he started with putting silverware away. Now that he's 4 he's expected to help dad with oil changes• trash*weeding#and grocery shopping. He helps me mop$ vacuum*dust#clean bathrooms and helps with the baby. All on top of helping taking care of homself including his laundry dishes meals and getting himself dressed And packing his own bags for trips. I expect we're going to disagree as dh didn't have an allowance but wasn't expected to do much around the house. I did and was. He's still bettervwith mo.ey. I think giving too much money tends to make a child think they are too good for teenage work when the time comes. What are you going to do whem mini
um wage is 10 an hour because of i flation but Jace knows he can make that by taking out the trash at home?

Please tell me this is a joke. I know I have a 4 year old who has delays but seriously? I've never seen a 4 year old be able to do all of that and 1. still be a kid and 2. do it properly. Pack for a trip? If I let them pack for a trip we would have 7 puzzles, no clothes and fruit snacks.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

"Jessica80" wrote:

Please tell me this is a joke. I know I have a 4 year old who has delays but seriously? I've never seen a 4 year old be able to do all of that and 1. still be a kid and 2. do it properly. Pack for a trip? If I let them pack for a trip we would have 7 puzzles, no clothes and fruit snacks.

Same here. I can't imagine what Juliet would pack for a trip. A big pile of dresses, some stuffed animals, and paints. Oh my. From that list, Juliet gets herself dressed and that's about it, although occasionally she asks if she can help do something and of course I let her (and encourage her).

I have to say, being good with money isn't just about upbringing. All 4 of us (my siblings and I) were raised the same way and the oldest and youngest are both great with money. Us middle two? Not so much. Also my sister and I both always had part-time jobs and worked harder when we were younger, but my brothers didn't. Sometimes it's just personality. I'm not terrible with money, but not great.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

Laurie... darn you and your baking blog!!! Everything looks so delicious and I love all the pics with the kids thumb upping you, lol!

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

Laurie... darn you and your baking blog!!! Everything looks so delicious and I love all the pics with the kids thumb upping you, lol!

Smile Thank you!! It's a new hobby. I am not a great baker but I am fully obsessed and having a lot of fun with it. It's a great distraction and my co-workers love getting all the goodies.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

A few chores will not hurt a child. My girls still have plenty of time to play. One thing I do is if they come to me and say they are bored, I give them a job. It does not take long for them to find something on their own to do after that.

We recently went to NY for one month. My newly 5 yo packed all of her clothes and my 7 yo packed her clothes and my 2 yo's clothes. I find if they pack their own clothes they are much more likely to like them and not be upset with what we brought. I would say my oldest has been packing her own clothes (with me making a few changes) for a few years.

ETA - They love packing their own clothes and as soon as they find out we are going somewhere they start hulling their suitcases out even if we are not leaving for months. I thinking of an old Disney commercial where the two kids start packing months in advance.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

A few chores will not hurt a child. My girls still have plenty of time to play. One thing I do is if they come to me and say they are bored, I give them a job. It does not take long for them to find something on their own to do after that.

We recently went to NY for one month. My newly 5 yo packed all of her clothes and my 7 yo packed her clothes and my 2 yo's clothes. I find if they pack their own clothes they are much more likely to like them and not be upset with what we brought. I would say my oldest has been packing her own clothes (with me making a few changes) for a few years.

ETA - They love packing their own clothes and as soon as they find out we are going somewhere they start hulling their suitcases out even if we are not leaving for months. I thinking of an old Disney commercial where the two kids start packing months in advance.

That's awesome. Mine would never be capable of such a thing as they inherited their father's lack of ability to plan anything. Mine would love the task but would completely screw it up.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

I've just started allowing my kids to help pack for trips. Makes things easier on me and they love it. I'll put their luggage in the living room, sit on the couch, and call out what they need to bring to me. "You each need to bring 4 pair of underwear.....now 2 sets of jammies....etc." Definitely not something I'd pay them for, but it works well for us.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

I said help for the chores with us. He does silverwarby himself-so far that's his big no need to tell him chore. He does indeed pack his own bags. He has a snack bag*, an entertainment bag, and his necessary stuff bag and tge other stuff in that sentence he does most of by himself. We expect a lot and get a lot.

To be fair he takes a lot of trips and did mess up the first few times but now he usually only forgets his toothbrush or sunblick.

Eta- I brought up minimim wage because taking out the trash and recycling takes ten minutes in our life and tbat includes my dhs need to rinse the recycle containers out. That would be $12 an hour....

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

Helping to pack is one thing and I guess I missed that. Both of my kids help pack. They aren't super picky on the clothes I pick out (so far) so I still pick that but they pack their snack/entertainment bags for the most part.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

"Jessica80" wrote:

Helping to pack is one thing and I guess I missed that. Both of my kids help pack. They aren't super picky on the clothes I pick out (so far) so I still pick that but they pack their snack/entertainment bags for the most part.

Oh ours are in charge of packing books and toys for themselves. I do their clothes, toiletries, and snacks.

In terms of allowance, I would pay them to do extras for me, but not for regular chores.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

We started our kids early helping with chores and they are all very capable now. At about 5 they were all doing all their own packing, the only time I need to check what they packed is when we are going to the snow, since they could get physically hurt if they dont pack correctly

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

I still can't comprehend the packing. I can barely trust my husband to pack appropriately for a trip and he is 35. My parents have a picture of me "dressed" to go to my grandma's house at about 5. I'm wearing an emerald green Celtics t-shirt, blue corduroay ys and I have 3 bags packs full of toys. No toothbrush, no pajamas, no underwear for the next day etc. I just can't picture it.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

I guess it would depend on the child. My daughter is very type A and has to have everything matching. I told them both how many of each thing they needed and they did it. I did not know what they packed until we got to NY and they did great. Nothing missing and nothing odd. (I did pack for my 30 yo DH though Smile )

Joined: 04/12/03
Posts: 1686

"Jessica80" wrote:

I still can't comprehend the packing. I can barely trust my husband to pack appropriately for a trip and he is 35. My parents have a picture of me "dressed" to go to my grandma's house at about 5. I'm wearing an emerald green Celtics t-shirt, blue corduroay ys and I have 3 bags packs full of toys. No toothbrush, no pajamas, no underwear for the next day etc. I just can't picture it.

It comes from experience. Over-nights at Gma's, Dad's, nights away. We just got home from 10 days gone. My 8YO only forgot to pack a pair of jeans. She's been packing her own bag of clothes for Gma's for years now.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

When mine were itty bitty they helped me pack their stuff, then for trips overnight at about 5 they packed if they missed something they went without, and it helped them remember the next time. Now they never forget anything. I do still check for Camping trips and LONG trips like disneyland where we need certain clothing.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

Our kids do chores because all members of our family have jobs to do, and our kids get an allowance because all members of our family get a bit of spending money. The two aren't intertwined; you can't lose your allowance for naughty behavior, nor can you choose to slack off on chores because you don't want/need money. Weston does the "recyclingables" which is taking them out of the bin under the sink & putting them into bags to take downstairs; he also replaces the composting bag when we take that out. He's also responsible for wiping down the kids' placemats, and getting out napkins before dinner. Tiven takes out the trash, recycling, and compost, and she wipes down the table and gets out silverware before dinner. She is totally responsible for her hamster's care, and for keeping her room tidy, and especially the floor of her bedroom to the back door clear in case of emergency. Both kids put their plates in the sink after meals, put away their own laundry, and put away their toys. Weston gets extra help as needed since he's not even three yet.

Weston gets $0.50 a week because he got upset that Tiven was getting an allowance & he wasn't. He puts one quarter into his bank, and the other into his wallet. He uses the money in his wallet to ride the mechanical pony at the ice cream shop or buy a lollipop at the corner liquor store. Blum 3 Tiven currently gets $2 a week and she has to save at least $0.50. She also has the chance to earn more money doing extra work like helping load or unload the dishwasher, folding laundry, filling the bird feeders, etc. We're probably going to raise her allowance amount when school starts and have her take on more responsibility for paying for things -- especially her lunches when she won't get out of bed on time.

Joined: 07/16/12
Posts: 8

My 16 year old has a part time job for his money. Before, he didn't get an allowance per se, he earned "rewards". He could get a video game if he cleaned the garage and mowed the lawn for a month. Now, he mows the lawn and other chores so he can go out with his friends and spend his work money.

Joined: 05/23/12
Posts: 680

They need to do what is asked and not expect payment for it. If they don't clean their room, they don't get their hour of cartoons. I do reward them in some way for extra kindnesses they do.

I don't want to teach my kids they need payment doing what they have to do in life. I don't even want them to think they should get paid for the extra kindnesses either, but they are little and I want to encourage them. They are slowly understanding and so I can wean them from that thinking. They are still very small and hope to help them learn over time.