Another Friends and their relationships one

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lil96's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 573
Another Friends and their relationships one

Short Version:
Guy A and Girl A dated for 10 years before marrying. They were both bffs with Guy B. Out of nowhere (from my standpoint) Guy A and Girl A divorce. Within no time at all Guy B and Girl A get married.
Skip to bolded for questions.

Long version

Reading through the thread about the friend who recently split with the husband, it reminded me of a situation that bugs me.(oops I already stated my feelings)
When my husband and I met, he had 3 bffs, one girl and 2 guys. The girl, A, was in a relationship with guy A. They had been together at that time ~10yrs.

The guy A was in the military, so he was gone sometimes. Guy B had a job where he would travel a lot too. So there were often times where it was just 2/3 of them.

When the couple found out my husband and I were engaged, he immediately proposed. When we told them we had set the date, a week later they set their date, the same weekend a year before though. My husband was in their wedding and Guy B performed as the officiator.

We moved away, the 3 all moved away to the same place (not as us though). We sort of lost contact, but still remained in touch. Then we moved closer to them (still liek 4 hrs away). So we saw each other more often, but not regularly. Guy A was away a lot. Guy B and girl would often come and stay the weekend with us.

They were invited to my baby shower. Guy A couldn't come bc he was out of the country. Guy B and Girl showed up. This time they stayed at another friends house.

A year later I saw Guy A on FB, so we became friends. Then shortly thereafter Girl was on FB, then Guy B. I became friends with all of them. I am also friends with Guy A's sister, who is also named Girl A(she has the same name as Girl A IRL and coincidentally they share the same bday??). I mentioned something about that to Guy A, he said he and Girl A (his wife) were no longer together. I wanted to ask why? what happened? etc, but I felt bc he was so short about it, I didn't want to pry.

A year later, Guy B says he needed our address. He sent us a wedding invitation, he and Girl A!

A while later I wanted to send Guy A a msg, and realized he was no longer my friend on FB. This bugs me because I didn't do anything to him. I assume maybe it was too hard on him seeing that I was friends with Guy B and Girl A, but I never talked to them online. I talked to Guy A more often than them.

Now looking back I can see things that I had totally not paid attention to, like when Guy B and Girl A stayed with us, I would see him in her room or I would see him with his arm around her. I really thought they were just good friends at that time. I still don't know what went down, maybe Guy A cheated while overseas first? Maybe Guy B and Girl A had a relationship the whole time?? IDK, I can only speculate.

Should I no longer be friends with Guy B and Girl A? The whole situation is just so weird. Even if Guy A and Girl A had just broken up bc they realized they just weren't meant to be together. Then within a year she gets married to his bff, is that just weird? If that is true, then I think Guy B must have always had feelings for her and pounced when the opportunity arose.

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

Holy smokes, I am completely lost, lol. Somewhere around where a sisiter came into the picture. Probably because it's early and brain is not working yet.

I will say that this is one reason I think having friends the opposite sex when you are married is just not a good thing. But I digress. It's hard to know what to do since we don't know how the situation with Girl A and Guy B arose. But the idea that someone would in a year marry their BF's ex-wife is wrong and I wouldn't trust either of them.

lil96's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 573

I edited to make a short version. Smile

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

That is like a soap opera plot line...

From what you said, I would guess the relationship between Girl A and Guy B had been going on for some time. Not that is makes it right, but it probably didn't come out of no where.

I think I would come right out and ask Girl A and Guy B what happened. Maybe an explanation would make this weird/awkward situation less weird?

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

"culturedmom" wrote:

I will say that this is one reason I think having friends the opposite sex when you are married is just not a good thing.

Yep.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

I don't think that having friends of the opposite sex is nessecarily a bad thing as long as everyone is honest. And if there is dishonesty in a relationship that is the problem, not the opposite sex friend.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I'm guessing that there was a relationship between Guy B and Girl A for a while. Maybe that's why Guy A and Girl A got a divorce?

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are that close with them all anyway, so I prob wouldn't bother to defriend on FB, but I also prob wouldn't go out of my way to be BFFs with them either.