Is any gift better than no gift?

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Jules's picture
Joined: 10/03/01
Posts: 797
Is any gift better than no gift?

As Mother's Day approaches, I thought back on some of the gifts I've seen moms receive. I wondered how you guys feel: Is any gift better than no gift?

I realize that nobody is obligated to give a Mother's Day gift, but most kids and partners think they should. Sometimes the results can be rather unexpected and not exactly something mom wants.

Have you seen some gifts that just make you roll your eyes? What were they?

I think that no gift is the better option if you can't think of something mom wants or needs. A call, an email or a note saying that you appreciate would be more appreciated.

Small kids are an exception. Anything they put together with a lot of love makes a sweet present.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 274

I would rather have no gift than a craptacular one but I'm easy. Small gift card, bouquet of flowers etc and I'm happy.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Yes, any gift is better than no gift. Although we don't make a big deal of it......it is nice to feel appreciated. Certain years (like the year right after I had my first baby he really went all out, or the year where I was heavily pregnant with my third he did the same) other years (like last year) a card and flowers are lovely. I get my appreciation every day......but I will say that it is really heartwarming when he goes out of his way to make me feel treasured. He's smart enough and knows me well enough to not get me something that I would hate or that would be insulting (like, a teddy bear or some sh!t)

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

I have to say that Robbie has given me some sweet presents that I have had no use for. We used to take him to the dollar store and let him pick out presents for us (we would give some guidance). Two years ago he picked out a purple fly swatter. He had no idea what is was but knew my favourite colour was purple. For me it is all about the thought behind the gift.

Last year I did tell DH that mother's day was to be about me and not his mom, I had just had a m/c and wanted the day for me. It has been fun the last couple of years as Robbie has made me gifts at school. Can't wait to see what he made this year.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6559

I would say any gift is better than no gift. Gift giving is not my DH's strong point. I understand that. As long as he tries, I don't care what it is. Him not giving anything, mostly says he does not want to bother with it.

RebeccaA'07's picture
Joined: 11/19/07
Posts: 1628

"Potter75" wrote:

Yes, any gift is better than no gift. Although we don't make a big deal of it......it is nice to feel appreciated. Certain years (like the year right after I had my first baby he really went all out, or the year where I was heavily pregnant with my third he did the same) other years (like last year) a card and flowers are lovely. I get my appreciation every day......but I will say that it is really heartwarming when he goes out of his way to make me feel treasured. He's smart enough and knows me well enough to not get me something that I would hate or that would be insulting (like, a teddy bear or some sh!t)

Agreed. And I'll add that I cringe when I hear people actually complain about a gift that they've been given because it sounds tacky and unappreciative. Some people just aren't good at buying gifts, but at least they TRY.

fudd8963's picture
Joined: 12/27/07
Posts: 1630

"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

Agreed. And I'll add that I cringe when I hear people actually complain about a gift that they've been given because it sounds tacky and unappreciative. Some people just aren't good at buying gifts, but at least they TRY.

Agree! Be happy and appreciate what you get! It's the thought that counts. Heck, my fave gift from the girls was last year on Mother's Day morning they went outside with DH. They picked me flowers and DH wrapped them with a "bow" made from bright orange "caution" tape! Beat out the Coach purse and massage gift certificates that were wrapped up. I LOVED those flowers!!!

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4111

I say any gift is better. I have worn some UGLY costume jewelry that my sons picked out for me when they were young and they would be so disappointed if I didn't wear it to church that day. Now that they are older they just get me a candle or flowers or something easy and I am good with that, I don't want them to spend a lot of money. Now my oldest gets by with a card or phone call since he doesn't live close enough to visit. I think it is different if you have to mail something.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

I would like some kind of gift. DH usually does a craft with DD (and her friend who doesn't have a dad) so that the small girls have something to give. Last year they painted little wooden boxes for us. It was really sweet.

DSD and I have a ritual called "step moms day" so that we don't compete for mothers day with her mom. For that the gift is time. We will go out shopping or for lunch and just have a nice outing together. It is a lot of fun.

Sagebrush kid's picture
Joined: 04/08/03
Posts: 1

Some of the tackiest gifts can bring a huge "I love you!" My now 27-year-old was looking through my jewelry box this week. One year when she was 7 or 8, she found the MOST beautiful (to a small girl's eye) set of rings. She bartered for them and they became my Mother's Day Gift. For the record, they are gawdy and awful and don't fit. But to me, they represent a child discovering the most lovely thing in the world and wanting me, her mommy, to have it. I've treasured those.

Back to the 27-year-old...She found that set of rings and said, "OMG! What was I thinking? These are awful!" What she was thinking was "I love you, mommy."

So it was the tackiest and least usable gift ever, but one that I love and appreciated.

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

From a child, anything is perfect. You know whatever they picked or made came straight from the heart.

From the spouse, well, it is thought that counts, I would hope your spouse knows you well enough not to get something you hate. My DH is terrible with remembering special occasions and not super great at picking out gifts, but I know he tries and that is enough for me.

Jules's picture
Joined: 10/03/01
Posts: 797

This topic turned my thoughts to the gifts that I gave for Mother's Day. Looking back...

I've given flowers, crafts and the usual lovingly-made kid things. There's one gift that I find myself shaking my head about -- one that stands out through the years. When I was 17, I gave my grandma a rock.

Yes, a rock. Not a gemstone, not a jewel, just a rock. It does make sense, when you know she was a gardener and did a lot of terracing. I'd gone for a hike and discovered an outcropping of large mica crystals in quartz. Talk about bling and sparkle! But somehow, saying you gave your gram a pretty rock for Mother's Day just doesn't seem very sporting. lol

girlisrad's picture
Joined: 04/24/07
Posts: 1587

"Jules" wrote:

This topic turned my thoughts to the gifts that I gave for Mother's Day. Looking back...

I've given flowers, crafts and the usual lovingly-made kid things. There's one gift that I find myself shaking my head about -- one that stands out through the years. When I was 17, I gave my grandma a rock.

Yes, a rock. Not a gemstone, not a jewel, just a rock. It does make sense, when you know she was a gardener and did a lot of terracing. I'd gone for a hike and discovered an outcropping of large mica crystals in quartz. Talk about bling and sparkle! But somehow, saying you gave your gram a pretty rock for Mother's Day just doesn't seem very sporting. lol

I have gotten Little hand painted pots, and a card here and there. Most of the time we just don't have the cash for it. But TIME... quality, awesome time. And the individual hug and smile.... or the errant thank you? Yeah.. my vote is NO gift. Because no material possession, (Grams Rock dis-cluded) could possibly match the amazing gift of being a Mom.... and yeah! Of course there are hard days and what not! But overall WOW.. I am a MOM. I don't need a special day for that honor.

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4111

"Jules" wrote:

This topic turned my thoughts to the gifts that I gave for Mother's Day. Looking back...

I've given flowers, crafts and the usual lovingly-made kid things. There's one gift that I find myself shaking my head about -- one that stands out through the years. When I was 17, I gave my grandma a rock.

Yes, a rock. Not a gemstone, not a jewel, just a rock. It does make sense, when you know she was a gardener and did a lot of terracing. I'd gone for a hike and discovered an outcropping of large mica crystals in quartz. Talk about bling and sparkle! But somehow, saying you gave your gram a pretty rock for Mother's Day just doesn't seem very sporting. lol

My sister would love that gift. She is a collector and loves all the sparkly rocks with crystals inside. She even told her husband that if he decides to get her an extravagant gift for thier anniversary or something she would rather have a huge rock with crystals in in than a diamond ring.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1532

I think any gift that has thought put into it is better then no gift. My DH generally does very well, but some years you can tell he and the kids really worked hard at deciding what I needed.

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

Any gift is better than no gift, definately.

I got a card with a tea-bag stuck inside. It was so I could make a cup of tea and sit down and relax, it was too cute!

xx

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"Minx_Kristi" wrote:

Any gift is better than no gift, definately.

I got a card with a tea-bag stuck inside. It was so I could make a cup of tea and sit down and relax, it was too cute!

xx

OT:

This made me remember a card my brother gave to me for a birthday one year. First of all my one brother loves to play jokes and I was turning 18. He put a package of kool aid in the card, but somehow had shaped the crystals so from feeling the envelope it felt like there was a condom inside. I didn't want to open the card and was blushing like crazy. When I finally opened it he laughed at me for thinking it was something else. It's a good memory!

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6559

That is hilarious!

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

From my kids, anything melts my heart, even if it's a bunch of twisted pipecleaners to make a bracelet (which, btw, I have already gotten from DD). Now, I might get flamed for this, but I would rather NO gift from DH than a last minute "OMG I forgot our anniversary" gift. Buy me a single flower and ask forgiveness. I'd prefer that over a bottle of perfume that I've never worn but that he just quickly grabbed from the store on the way home, or some cheesy logo-emblazoned t-shirt only a 12-year-old could fit into that will end up buried in the drawer. Okay, exaggerating a tad, but thought put behind something that's not necessarily tangible is better to me than 'stuff'.

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

"Claire'sMommy" wrote:

From my kids, anything melts my heart, even if it's a bunch of twisted pipecleaners to make a bracelet (which, btw, I have already gotten from DD). Now, I might get flamed for this, but I would rather NO gift from DH than a last minute "OMG I forgot our anniversary" gift. Buy me a single flower and ask forgiveness. I'd prefer that over a bottle of perfume that I've never worn but that he just quickly grabbed from the store on the way home, or some cheesy logo-emblazoned t-shirt only a 12-year-old could fit into that will end up buried in the drawer. Okay, exaggerating a tad, but thought put behind something that's not necessarily tangible is better to me than 'stuff'.

I agree with the bolded, if it truly is a thoughtless gift. Sometimes though it is a thoughtful, but misplaced gesture.

The first Christmas we were married, we had no money at all, so we got each other very few gifts. When I opened the gift he got me, it was a... dart board.... Huh??? I don't play darts. Neither does he. We lived in an apartment and had no place to hang the dart board. I was baffled, but nice about it. He must have seen my confusion though and says, "I thought you would like it. Remember that time we played darts together?".... It happened once, like a year before, for one game. It certainly didn't register with me as something very remarkable, but I guess it was a special memory for him and that seemingly thoughtless and useless gift became a lot more special.

Which reminds me, I really ought to find that and hang it up now that we've got space for it.

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4111

"Claire'sMommy" wrote:

From my kids, anything melts my heart, even if it's a bunch of twisted pipecleaners to make a bracelet (which, btw, I have already gotten from DD). Now, I might get flamed for this, but I would rather NO gift from DH than a last minute "OMG I forgot our anniversary" gift. Buy me a single flower and ask forgiveness. I'd prefer that over a bottle of perfume that I've never worn but that he just quickly grabbed from the store on the way home, or some cheesy logo-emblazoned t-shirt only a 12-year-old could fit into that will end up buried in the drawer. Okay, exaggerating a tad, but thought put behind something that's not necessarily tangible is better to me than 'stuff'.

What I hate even worse is when DH gives me a gift card. I have told him straight out if you are going to do that just might as well give me cash at least I don't have to worry about spending it a certain place.

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