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Thread: Baby Showers and other kids (slightly personal)

  1. #21
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danifo View Post
    in this case, she is trying to be respectful of the host's wishes.

    I scheduled my activities around nursing. Getting haircuts, dentists, groceries, lunch with a friend, going to the gym, going to a movie, dinner date with DH
    ... This was whether or not the baby was with me. I'd rather start off with a well fed baby. I have no problem NIP and appreciate the freedom when travelling or out for the day but I enjoyed it more at home in a comfy chair.
    No, you said you would bring a non-mobile baby with you to a shower but would show up depending on their nursing schedule. The question wasn't about going to the gym or dentist or having a date, something where you're an active participant. It's about a baby shower where you are pretty much sitting around watching someone open gifts and eating some cake. I don't understand why you would arrive late to nurse baby at home and then still bring baby with you. I think arriving late to a shower when you don't have to be is rude.
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

  2. #22
    Posting Addict SID081108's Avatar
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    I didn't read her comment that way at all (although I could be wrong!). I thought she was saying that because she couldn't bring the baby, she would reply that she would be there but it would depend on the nursing because you would obviously leave for the shower right after a feeding to have the most possible time before needing to be home again. And then I think she was implying that the hostess might then realize (or say) that nursing babies are okay, because she simply might not have been thinking about them when she made the no kids rule.

    Anyway, that was my take on it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Danifo View Post
    I have brought non-mobile babies for nursing purposes but older kids are more of a hassle for me.

    I would reply and say that you would love to show up but when you would show up will depend on your nursing. If I didn't have kids, the nursing aspect would not have occurred to me. I would just be thinking that I don't want a hoard of kids running through my house.
    blather likes this.
    CARRIE and DH 7/14/07
    SOPHIA 8/11/08
    LAYLA 3/24/11


  3. #23
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    I started off all three babies very well fed, nursed them all, and I totally agree with Laurie. I enjoy doing many activities other than just lunching and haircutting and dinner dates, and some of those activities are not baby friendly. Babies are simply not accessories on can trot around the golf course, no matter how NIP friendly a mother is (and I am ~ could and did nurse anywhere). Babies are also not accessories who get a free pass places where their presence has been specifically denied simply because they are nursing. At 9 months my babies were walking ~ and nursing ~ But yes, they would have been QUITE a distraction from a baby shower focused on the mother to be. That is why we practiced leaving them early/using bottles of pumped breast milk/etc.....because freedom and the ability to attend events/have me time was and remains important to me. I would (personally!!!) Feel terribly trapped if my husband was unable to care for our 9 month old child for more than an hour~ there are many things I do in my life that required me to be away from my nurslings for an hour. If other people don't WANT to be away from baby, ever, that is a fine and valid parenting decision, but you can't then complain when you are restricted from certain events where children are not welcome, as hosts have the same right to make the decision to not include children as you have made to not leave your child's side.
    Oh trust me, trapped, feeling, me! I did make the decision with this babe to not pump cause I hate pumping and I dont have the opportunity to go out to a ton of non baby stuff anyways, so it didnt seem important. Plus, I can put up with anything for 6 months, right. With my others, once they made it to 6 months I could leave them with other foods and they were fine for a few hours after a nurse, or while sleeping. It is actually not about nursing with Trent. He just freaks out if we are apart for too long....his too long, not mine. It is very frustrating and I'm not sure what to do about it. I am hoping it is just a stage that he will grow out of soon, but at the same time, I come across very few events that seem worth it to go to when I know my baby is freaking out, crying, at home.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  4. #24
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ftmom View Post
    It is actually not about nursing with Trent. He just freaks out if we are apart for too long....his too long, not mine. It is very frustrating and I'm not sure what to do about it. I am hoping it is just a stage that he will grow out of soon, but at the same time, I come across very few events that seem worth it to go to when I know my baby is freaking out, crying, at home.
    I'm curious if your DH trying to comfort Trent "your way," or is he trying his own tricks? With both of my kids, nothing that worked for me would work for DH, and vice versa. We each had to develop our own set of comfort methods. It seems that a lot of dads try to do what mom does because it seems to work so well, when sometimes they need to do their own thing, kwim?

    And I can't seem to figure out how to quote something else after I've already started writing, but to what Carrie said, you are right. I was reading Danifo's post as being one continuous thought but it being two paragraphs does make an intention for the second sentence being a separate thought. I stand corrected.
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

  5. #25
    Prolific Poster Danifo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    I'm curious if your DH trying to comfort Trent "your way," or is he trying his own tricks? With both of my kids, nothing that worked for me would work for DH, and vice versa. We each had to develop our own set of comfort methods. It seems that a lot of dads try to do what mom does because it seems to work so well, when sometimes they need to do their own thing, kwim?

    And I can't seem to figure out how to quote something else after I've already started writing, but to what Carrie said, you are right. I was reading Danifo's post as being one continuous thought but it being two paragraphs does make an intention for the second sentence being a separate thought. I stand corrected.
    Sorry for the confusion. They were two thoughts.

    I also agree about the "tricks" to calm a baby. My husband and I calm the kids different and his tricks don't work me. At first I thought it was related to me nursing but now they are done, his tricks still don't work.
    DD1 July 2008 (41w3d)
    November 2010 (13 weeks)
    DD2 August 2011 (33w5d)

  6. #26
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    He does use his own tricks. Its actually kind of odd that Trent is so attached to me. He is the first of our babies that DH has always been able to put to sleep from the start. In fact there are many nights that T wont nurse to sleep, so I give him to DH and he bounces him to sleep. He also loves to play on the floor with Daddy, but through it all he orients to me and gets really upset if I go away for too long. He rarely even wants to nurse when I get back, just be held.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  7. #27
    Posting Addict ange84's Avatar
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    Most I have been to have had other kids, since I had DS if he can't go somewhere I am highly unlikely to go as I don't have anyone to watch him, hubby works in hospitality so isn't ho,e much and my Mum lives an hour and a half away, works two jobs for part of the year, so yeah no baby sitting options.
    Wendy




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