So my basic question is, obviously the new baby is expected, but are other kids welcome or OK at a baby shower?
Also, is it rude to request in an invitation that children dont come?
Here is the background to my asking. I am part of a community of women due to our husbands jobs. Though I am friends with a few of them, in general, we are 'friendly' with one another. One thing we always do is throw a baby shower for any new moms. Generally the only other kids there are other babies, but the last one was full of kids, including the hosts children and the big brother. I know for a fact that it was asked if kids could attend on the facebook page and given the OK. I am pretty much joined at the hip with my nursling at the moment, though I can get about an hour or so on my own if I plan with DH. There is another shower (for different baby) coming up in a few weeks, and the hostess preemptively posted on the event wall, 'in order to keep focus on Mom and Baby on their special day, please arrange for child care.' I know the hostess does not have kids of her own, so is not equipped to entertain a large number of kids, but I find this really rude, as I dont know anyone who would bring a child without asking first. I was really tempted to snap back that I wouldnt be coming then, since I cant be gone from babe for long, but I have restrained myself, mostly because I am pretty sure this request is not coming from mom, and I really do want to celebrate her baby, and I have to socialize with these people at many different event for the next few years at least I am wondering though if I am over reacting because this request effects me, and feels a little bit directed at me (though not JUST me)? I also thought of just posting a note that I would stop by, but couldnt stay for long cause of baby, but I think if someone else posted that I would think they were just fishing for an exemption?
Anyways, just wondering what you ladies think, and willing to listen to any suggestions to how I can get my unhappiness across without looking like a huge ***** (pretty sure that word will star out)? Or should I just keep my mouth closed, do a cameo at the party and deal with my disappointment in private?