I don't understand why people get so volatile about it. I have no judgment either way. Women attach judgment and emotion to these things and get enraged when someone suggests the "wrong" thing (whether it's to keep nursing, stop nursing, whatever). I don't know why emotions and judgments get so out of control when it comes to breastfeeding. It's a little crazy.
Laurie, mom to:
Nathaniel ( 10 ) and Juliet ( 7 )
Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)
Yeah but at the same time if someone asks for advice and several people in the group say they disagree with certain advice and think there is a better way... That's not judgement, that's giving advice.
Cecilia Marie 1/10/10
Photo By Anne Schmidt Photography
With my first, I was on day 3 or 4 of the schedule from hell. My ILs thought I was nuts because if it was that hard I should just switch. The nurse came over (a nurse does a home visit a few days after you leave the hospital). She asked me how it was going and I burst into tears. She was so sympathetic about what I was going through and said I can't do it all and that I was a much better mom if I was happy. Based on her recommendation, I started only pumping at night, my husband took over bottle feeding and I stopped trying to nurse. I felt so much better when I got more than an hour sleep. Shortly after, my daughter started latching.
I was getting so much grief from my ILs about not switching to formula, the last thing I needed was to told that that bottle feeding was screwing up my chances and I should only be nursing because that is best for breast feeding.
I used to be more judgemental about people BF. I used to hear people's stories and be like "that's nothing, you didn't try hard enough" or "if you had more support you could have done it". Now I think some of it is support and some of it is personal based on the mom, her friends and family, her experiences and everything else she has going on in her life. Now I feel like if you want to BF and you feel like you did everything possible based on your life but then switched to formula, then good for you for trying. IF you went straight to formula, that is fine too.
DD1 July 2008 (41w3d)
November 2010 (13 weeks)
DD2 August 2011 (33w5d)
I think a lot of people are judgey, but I also think some things are often taken as judgey that are not. I think its likely due to the emotions involved in these types of decision, its easy to take things as judgement that are actually being presented as advice.
Yes people can be judgmental for sure especially with BF and FF. However, if you put a question out for advice you can't get all huffy when people are suggesting different things. If you don't want advice, don't ask.
Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)
This is why I hate when people ask for advice on things like facebook. Most times I see moms that are on Facebook asking for advice, and most times they really just want someone to tell them what they are doing it right
People are all kinds of judgy when it comes to this topic, I think moms need to seek advice from moms that are close to them. I sought out friends and family and when I had unanswered questions I found a LC.
Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson