Bullying "Awareness" ~ is it being taken too far?
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Thread: Bullying "Awareness" ~ is it being taken too far?

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    Default Bullying "Awareness" ~ is it being taken too far?

    I haven't been around for awhile (which I'm sure just broke your hearts, haha ), so I'm hoping this topic wasn't brought up recently...

    Debate Question:
    There's been more awareness in recent years about bullying among children/teens, which can be a good thing, but do you think that in some respects it's being taken too far to include things that aren't true bullying?

    Definition of bullying according to stopbullying.gov:

    Bullying Definition | StopBullying.gov

    For discussion:

    Do you agree with the above definition of bullying and cyberbullying exactly as it's stated?

    Do you think that the awareness of bullying and less tolerance by school officials is helping to cut down on it?

    What is your experience with bullying and how does it compare to today's definition of bullying--is it the same, or different (not including cyber bullying, of course)?

    Do you think it's possible kids these days are being taught to have more of a victim mentality, rather than learning how to be mentally strong?

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    I agree with all definitions put forth.

    I do not see a reduction in bullying. It won't until parents of bullies recognize what their children are doing and take control.

    I think it is the same as when we were kids. Picking on people, calling names, fighting on weaker students. I wasn't bullied per se because I truly didn't care most of the time what those types of kids thought.

    I don't think it is a victim mentality and I don't think bullying made anyone mentally strong. Bullying has lasting effects. I know too man people who were bullied as teenagers and still are bitter about it in their 40s and 50s. It's very sad.

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    Jessica, I hear you about the lasting effects for many people. It is very sad.

    As for my opinion, I don't know why, but I feel like in "some" ways they are taking it too far. Maybe I'm perceiving something that isn't there? I fear that they're calling just about anything that's negative "bullying," when it's really not. And that by doing that, they're teaching kids to feel victimized all too easily, instead of teaching them to be mentally strong, to love themselves, feel good in their own skin, that not everyone is going to like them, and that's okay.

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    What parts do you think are negative but not bullying on the website? The basic definition of bully is to intimidate others and all those listed fit the bill to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    What parts do you think are negative but not bullying on the website? The basic definition of bully is to intimidate others and all those listed fit the bill to me.
    Not on the website, per sey, but just when you hear about it on news shows, news articles, TV shows, etc. For example, on the Biggest Loser Show, that one girl who was being made fun of because of her weight by the cheerleaders, to me that wasn't "bullying." Wrong, yes. But bullying? Not too sure about that. Kids get called names all the time, but I'm not sure that's bullying. Now, if a kid is constantly being picked on/called names by another kid or group of kids, that would be bullying, IMO.

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    See I think it is bullying. How kids handle name calling probably is based on how many times it happens. If I was called 1 bad name growing up I'm probably not hurt or changed that much by it but it is still bullying behavior. I don't think the quantity of how often it happens or how many times it happens changes the type of behavior it is.

    I'm not going to say it is never going to happen. Kids are going to call each other names....I just think we need to call it what it is and teach them why it is harmful.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FLSunshineMom View Post
    Not on the website, per sey, but just when you hear about it on news shows, news articles, TV shows, etc. For example, on the Biggest Loser Show, that one girl who was being made fun of because of her weight by the cheerleaders, to me that wasn't "bullying." Wrong, yes. But bullying? Not too sure about that. Kids get called names all the time, but I'm not sure that's bullying. Now, if a kid is constantly being picked on/called names by another kid or group of kids, that would be bullying, IMO.
    To me, that's bullying in probably it's most common form - verbal intimidation - especially in girls. Once or a hundred times, IMO it's all the same. Bullying. The word makes me feel almost sick to my stomach. I was never bullied as a kid, but the thought of my child(ren) being bullied just makes me irate. I shouldn't be putting the cart before the horse, but there's always a story on the news, it seems, about how a kid ended up commiting suicide because of bullying yet nobody ever knew there was a problem. That teen girl in BC that commited suicide several months ago - Amanda Todd - same thing. Apparently nobody had any idea she was being bullied. I just can't fathom not knowing.

    Amanda Todd: Bullied Teen Commits Suicide
    Last edited by ClairesMommy; 03-26-2013 at 03:11 PM.
    Jessica80 likes this.

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    My friend's son just had a classmate that killed himself for being bullied. He had Asperger's and they used to make fun of how he dressed and talked...a little more "eccentric" than others their age (15). So due to teasing and verbal harrassment a young teen is dead and his parents have lost their only child.

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    I think a few things on there depend on intent and how they are handled. Mainly teasing and leaving someone out.

    We tease in our family quite a bit, but the rule is, if someone asks you to stop, you do immediately. And for things like silly names (I am bad for making up silly names for the kids that they then all call each other), if someone asks you not to call them a name, you never do it again. I think teasing can often be an indication of closeness between people. IE You know I really like you, so I can poke fun and you know I dont really mean it.

    With leaving someone out on purpose....honestly, sometimes you just dont like a person, or they dont play nicely, etc. And I dont think it is bullying to say you dont want to play with them, if it is done nicely and they are not the only person excluded. I actually dont allow the kids to leave each other out at our house cause it is such a small group, however when we go to playgroup, there is a little girl in particular who DD doesnt like to play with cause she is bossy and mean. I totally get why she wont play with her, I wouldnt either. But the rule is that if the child comes in to play, you need to be the one who goes to somewhere else, you are not allowed to tell her to go away. You either play with her or move on, and you never say mean things.

    I do understand how these things can turn into bullying, but I think it is a matter of extremes, and sometimes adults can jump in to 'help' with bullying, when they dont take the time to understand the whole situation.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

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    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    I think a few things on there depend on intent and how they are handled. Mainly teasing and leaving someone out.

    We tease in our family quite a bit, but the rule is, if someone asks you to stop, you do immediately. And for things like silly names (I am bad for making up silly names for the kids that they then all call each other), if someone asks you not to call them a name, you never do it again. I think teasing can often be an indication of closeness between people. IE You know I really like you, so I can poke fun and you know I dont really mean it.

    With leaving someone out on purpose....honestly, sometimes you just dont like a person, or they dont play nicely, etc. And I dont think it is bullying to say you dont want to play with them, if it is done nicely and they are not the only person excluded. I actually dont allow the kids to leave each other out at our house cause it is such a small group, however when we go to playgroup, there is a little girl in particular who DD doesnt like to play with cause she is bossy and mean. I totally get why she wont play with her, I wouldnt either. But the rule is that if the child comes in to play, you need to be the one who goes to somewhere else, you are not allowed to tell her to go away. You either play with her or move on, and you never say mean things.

    I do understand how these things can turn into bullying, but I think it is a matter of extremes, and sometimes adults can jump in to 'help' with bullying, when they dont take the time to understand the whole situation.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

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