Charging adult children rent

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Charging adult children rent

I watched the show Princess last night. (The host does a financial intervention on a spoiled young woman who lives beyond her means often at the expense of other family members.)

The woman on the show was 24 YO, still living at home rent free. Gail Vaz-Oxlade said that it is a mistake for parents to let their adult children to live at home rent free; they should charge them around 35% of their take-home pay. Her reason was that it gets the young adults used to having a disposable income that they won't have forever. But they get used to spending that extra money.

What do you think? Should adult children living at home pay rent? Do you see yourself charging your children rent when they are adults? Will it make a difference if they are in college, a single parent, or other special circumstances?

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I will charge rent, no matter the circumstances. 95% chance it will go to the college fund (unbeknownst to the adult child) for any grandchildren, if none, then probably into a savings account for the kid who couldn't make it on their own for the next time they need it. As soon as my child is done with their senior year of college, they will pay rent. I think 35% is kind of high and wouldn't really allow them to save up to move out though.

We just had drama over something like this. An adult woman moved in with her parents two years ago with an infant and a ten year old. She is going to school after being a SAHM for the ten years before that, but she also apparently stepped way over the line this weekend. This after her baby sister moved back in for two years and three months before she moved in. Not for me.

I'll be there for emergencies but I'm not plan B. Any grandbabies will be welcome to stay though for any length of time. Smile

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I would only charge rent if my child seemed to need that type of arrangement in order to get their priorities straight and eventually make themselves independent.

I have no desire to do this if its not warranted...and I absolutely know that its not always warranted.

Seamus and I lived with his parents for a year. We split groceries and that was it. We are proven responsible adults and his parents knew we were working our way to building and moving into our house, which was not the first house we owned.

I would love to offer my child the chance to stay home and save some money. Plenty of adult kids are able to approach this maturely.

Only if my kid needed help getting their head on straight at that age would i say rent was necessary.

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I think charging rent is reasonable and, like mentioned in the op, it prepares young adults for budgeting/saving. Especially for the aimless young adults, haven't got any sort of plan/goals.

My parents let us live at home rent free while we were in university. We paid our own tuition and their contribution was giving us a free place to stay, if we chose to go to school locally. I paid rent (minimal) for a year before I started school, my brother didn't go to school and paid for 3 years before he got married and moved out, my sister paid for two years after university before she bought her own place. I think it was fair.

If circumstances required it, I would let my grown kids move back home rent free for a time.

eta... Actually, I was wrong. I didn't pay rent. We had a 1 year grace period to save up and figure out what we wanted to do with our lives. Since I was working to save up for school and was set to start school the following year, I lived at home for free.

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If they were going to school full time, I wouldn't charge them rent. But if they were newly in the workforce and still living at home, you better believe they would chip in for everything, from rent to utilities (one set price per month, of course). It teaches them a valuable lesson on life, that they can't just expect things for free. The same goes for a car. I will not be buying a car for any of my children. I might consider price matching whatever they themselves save... but we'll see when that time comes!

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See, i think while a lot of kids need those 'valuable lessons' right out of college...i think plenty come out of college with a good head on their shoulders as it is.

I think letting them live at home rent free provides them an awesome opportunity to save, which can make a big difference to them at this point.

As a parent, if my kid already seems to understand what responsibility is, i'd much rather be able to give them the gift of the latter....then to yet again reinforce the former if they already know it.

My mother tried to get me to move home after college to save some money. But at that time, i was engaged, in love and wanted to be in Boston and on my own. I've more than proven that I didn't need any extra lessons out of college on how to take care of myself...i did fine. But now i look back and think about that nice little nest egg i could have created myself if i took my mom up on the offer. I appreciate the fact that she did offer.

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Our rule will be that adult children living at home can be here for free if they are in full time school. Otherwise they will pay rent according to their income. I could see us making exceptions if they had already left and had to come home due to bad circumstances (especially if kids were involved). But that would be to help them get back on their feet and out on their own again.

My mom had the same rule and it gave me the opportunity to learn what it is to pay rent and bills before I was out on my own. I got to make some mistakes with a safety net. Thus when I did move out I wasn't completely lost and didn't go into debt right away. DH's family didn't give him any preknowledge of household finances and he floundered badly when he moved out. He doesn't want the same for his kids.

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I think it depends on the circumstances, but I do like the way that my parents did it. They allowed us to live at home rent free for 1 year after high school, and then if we chose to go to college we could continue to live rent free as they couldn't afford to help us with tuition, but student loans were less if we lived at home. If we chose not to go to college we would have had to pay rent. A friend of mines parents charged her rent, but put it into an account for her to put towards tuition when she decided to go, which is what I would do if my kids decided to live at home, or put it towards a new home, etc.

I do think of living at home as different than 'staying with my parents' though, although it is a difficult line to see. For example, staying there while building your own home is staying there for a time. Moving in with no concrete plans to leave, living there.

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"ftmom" wrote:

A friend of mines parents charged her rent, but put it into an account for her to put towards tuition when she decided to go, which is what I would do if my kids decided to live at home, or put it towards a new home, etc.

That is a brilliant idea!

It all depends on the situation. If they're working full time and are choosing to stay at home, then yes, rent should be paid. I wouldn't ask them for what they would have to pay if they were renting outside of the home as I would expect them to be trying to put some money away also towards a house.

If they were at school and no wage was coming in then no, I wouldn't expect rent although I would expect help around the house. If they had lived away from home and needed to move back then I would let them stay rent free but only for a while until they were back on their feet.

xx

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I was charged board as soon as I finished high school, it was $50 a week . I was supposed to start at 18 but my Mum decided thatshe would change it to once I finished high school once she found out there was 2-3 months between finishing high school and starting uni. She did drop it when I was in my final year and had a huge courseload and lots of prac and had to reduce my work hours. My board was to contribute to household expenses like food, electricty etc.
I see no issue with it, it's a way to teach some responsibility and the real world where there are real expenses. Mu husband used to have to pay the rent every other week

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I agree with Kim 100% There would have to be some seriously extenuating circumstances going on for us to be charging our children rent to live in our home. I lived home for a few months (6?) while I found a place when I moved back here from the West Coast, my brother lived at home for almost a year while my SIL lived with me when they moved up here from DC and were engaged and buying a home. They didn't want to live together before the wedding. My sister lived at home for 2 (3?) full years after college, working (teacher) getting her masters degree, then during her engagement. She moved out when she got married. All of us were employed, responsible adults, and our parents love us and don't need our financial help (their home is paid off), so they were happy to help us out. I will treat my kids the same way. Obviously if they are NOT responsible adults, things may be different.

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I think it depends on the situation.
If they were 30 something years old and sat in the basement all day playing WOW, you either get a job and pay rent or GTFO.
If you were just laid off from your job and got evicted from your apartment or something, you are more than welcome to stay here for a couple months free to get back on your feet.
I don't think I would charge if my kid was in college. Maybe a little for food and such.
If my adult kid was working, I would charge the going rate for a one bedroom apartment. And I would expect them to clean after themselves, do their own laundry, etc.

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I'm actually really surprised by the amount of people who would charge their working adult children rent by default.

I thought there would be more who wouldn't than there seems to be.

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I think it depends on the situation.

I moved back in with my parents at 20 after I transferred schools. They have a garage apartment and I live there for 10 years! :eek: There was never an official rent payment, but I paid them money, bought groceries, cooked their meals, did laundry etc. I lived on my own, my parents just happened to be my landlords.

I think I would have preferred a set rent as a lesson in my early 20s in responsibility. It wasn't an issue as I got older, but I think I would have matured faster having it earlier before I personally realized it was important to contribute every month.

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I don't think the scenario is so black & white that I can really give an answer right now. There are just too many factors to consider. I will say that I'm not the type to let anyone leach off of me, but hopefully I will have raised productive people that would never do that.

I lived with my Mom for a year or so before getting married. I needed to save some money for the wedding and for our first apartment as a married couple. She didn't charge me anything for food or rent, and if she had it honestly would have hurt my feelings. I wasn't taking advantage of her and there's no reason a parent can't help a responsible child out from time to time. She didn't stop being my parent when I turned 18.

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We are in this very situation right now and it is driving me crazy. My step-son is very lazy and all he wants to do is play video games all day. It took him a year after he graduated high school just to find a job, and all that time he just sat at home and played games all day. Since he wasn’t working he was supposed to contribute by doing work on DH’s house that we are remodeling, but he did very little work and always had some excuse why he didn’t get anything done. Instead of going to school at the local community college he decided he was going to go to an online University and pay thousands more so he could sit on his butt at home and take courses over the internet. The only reason he didn’t go through with it is I told DH that there was no way that we were going co-sign a student loan just so he could sit at home. He claims that he is still going to sign up to go to school at the local college but I will believe it when it happens.
So a few months ago he finally gets a job at the company where DH works, and it is a fairly good job for a 20 year old. And first thing he does, instead of saving money for a better vehicle or putting his money into an account for school, is buy a 40 inch TV at one of those rental places for $30 a week. That was the last straw for me. I told DH that he his going to pay rent or move out. It would be different if he was helping out in some way, but he refuses to do anything. If he was my own son I would have kicked him out long ago. It is not about the money, we will probably put the money in an account so next time his car breaks down or something we will not have to help him out of our pocket, or if he does decide to go to school the money can go towards that.
I do think every situation is different though, if he was the type of kid that was using his money wisely to go to school and try and get ahead it would be a whole different thing.

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Yep, that's going to be an assumption. I paid 'rent' once I had a full time job. Though the rule in our house was if you were in post-secondary education you were exempt. Now, as it happened I literally paid the rent for quite some time since **** went down and my parents couldn't pay for it themselves. That was while I was working AND in college. It was hard but I paid for college and have no debt.

As long as my husband and I aren't actually NEEDING their money, we'll put it into a fund for school. And I don't see us needing it, we budget well. I want to teach my kids how to do that too. Due to the **** that went down with my parents, money management is a VERY important issue to me. I'm hoping my husband balances out the crazy in me so our girls have a good example of how to be financially responsible.

Not saying everyone should charge their adult children 'rent', not at all. I just feel it's something we will do.

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I'm not saying to charge in order to smuggle away "profit" from your children. But why should the parents have to eat the cost of the extra electric/gas/water/food/cable/phone etc that having an extra person/their family living with you costs? I think $200-$400/month for rent is very reasonable.
And Gloria, that is the kind of thing I was thinking when I wrote the above post. I hate hearing of adult children that walk all over their parents like that.

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I agree with Kim. If we were in a situation where my adult child needed a kick in the pants to get his head on straight (like laying around playing video games instead of working or going to school) then yes, I would make him pay rent to help get him on the right track. But if my adult child is going to school, or working to save up money, or home temporarily before he gets married, or whatever, then I can't see myself or DH having any desire to charge him rent unless we were in a desperate financial situation ourselves. Let's hope it never comes to that. Smile

I have zero doubts that if DH and I were in a bad situation financially, we would have the option to live (for a while anyway) with either set of parents rent free. Obviously if we were just laying around not working and not trying to work I think that wouldn't last long, but we wouldn't do that, and I think that is the point.

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No, I will not charge my child rent. Unless they are being a total bum and living with me at 30! But really, I fully expect my children to live with me while going to school and I will happily pay for their expenses while living with me. My thoughts: It is MY morgage, I don't expect my child to pay MY bills. I was paying morgage before I had children, it is not their respondsibility to pay MY morgage.

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"TyrantOfTheWeek" wrote:

I'm not saying to charge in order to smuggle away "profit" from your children. But why should the parents have to eat the cost of the extra electric/gas/water/food/cable/phone etc that having an extra person/their family living with you costs? I think $200-$400/month for rent is very reasonable.
And Gloria, that is the kind of thing I was thinking when I wrote the above post. I hate hearing of adult children that walk all over their parents like that.

I agree.

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"TyrantOfTheWeek" wrote:

But why should the parents have to eat the cost of the extra electric/gas/water/food/cable/phone etc that having an extra person/their family living with you costs? .

Because if i can afford it...i would. I'd do it for my kids. Same reason i do all the other things I do for them that I normally wouldn't do for anyone else.

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"KimPossible" wrote:

Because if i can afford it...i would. I'd do it for my kids. Same reason i do all the other things I do for them that I normally wouldn't do for anyone else.

Me too. Honestly I would imagine that we will have a lot more money than our early 20 something kids, so to take money from them would make me uncomfortable. I made them all knowing that I was going to have to pay for them all ~ no magical "not payin no mo" switch goes off at 18 in our mind when it comes to our kids.

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"TyrantOfTheWeek" wrote:

I'm not saying to charge in order to smuggle away "profit" from your children. But why should the parents have to eat the cost of the extra electric/gas/water/food/cable/phone etc that having an extra person/their family living with you costs? I think $200-$400/month for rent is very reasonable.
And Gloria, that is the kind of thing I was thinking when I wrote the above post. I hate hearing of adult children that walk all over their parents like that.

I question what the "extra costs" of living would be. We already pay morgage, cable, internet, and utilities. Our food bill didn't really change either, because we're already fixing meals every day. $200-$400 rent for a kid who is making minimum wage is silly, they would have to give up their entire paycheck to pay for bills that existed long before they did.

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"Potter75" wrote:

Me too. Honestly I would imagine that we will have a lot more money than our early 20 something kids, so to take money from them would make me uncomfortable. I made them all knowing that I was going to have to pay for them all ~ no magical "not payin no mo" switch goes off at 18 in our mind when it comes to our kids.

That's how I see it too. My mom still helps me out a ton by keeping my girls during the week while hubby and I work, free of charge. That saves me a small fortune in daycare and before/after school care fees! I plan on helping my kids out however I can for as long as it benefits them. I'm excited about it actually.

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I can't imagine charging my grown children rent. It's just not something I would do. I would, however, expect them -- if they were working -- to do things like take on the grocery shopping for one round, or pay for a nice dinner every once in a while, something like that.

If I felt like the fact that they were living with me was unhealthy for their own independence or growth, I would talk to them about it and give them a deadline to move out (and hopefully not have to come up with a contingency plan!) and work with them on it. But I couldn't charge rent to any family member, especially my children.

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"KimPossible" wrote:

I'm actually really surprised by the amount of people who would charge their working adult children rent by default.

I thought there would be more who wouldn't than there seems to be.

Me, too. I thought when we did this the last time, there were very few of us who said we would charge rent. I guess maybe the times are changing...

As long as my child is attending school full-time pursuing a degree or trade, they can live at home free of rent & board. Their main job is to do well in school, and our job as their parents is to continue supporting them until they have the necessary skills to support themselves. Once they are working full-time, if they choose to continue living at home, then they will pay rent. I will only support them to a point, and then they need to start taking over. If my kids are working hard & saving for something significant and specific, like to buy a house or pay for a wedding, then I might either forgo rent payments for a few months, or collect the rent & set it aside for them, but that will be determined on a case-by-case basis, it won't be something my kids expect.

And I believe there's a big difference between helping your child learn to fly, and catching them if they fall. I want my kids to learn to budget wisely, to learn to spend their money well, to make good decisions, and paying rent when they get a job is the way to do that. But if they lose their job through no fault of their own, and will be homeless unless I take them in, I will take them in for a while, with a plan set in place for them to get back on their feet.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

I question what the "extra costs" of living would be. We already pay morgage, cable, internet, and utilities. Our food bill didn't really change either, because we're already fixing meals every day. $200-$400 rent for a kid who is making minimum wage is silly, they would have to give up their entire paycheck to pay for bills that existed long before they did.

Why would a child who has a college degree be earning only minimum wage? And I don't know about you, but we do spend more now than we did pre-kids, on costs that we won't have after our kids move out. Our laundry has at least tripled, and at $7 per load that's a pretty significant increase. Our food bill has at least doubled, and I expect it will increase even more by the time they're teenagers. And if we haven't bought a home by then, then we could move into a cheaper place if we didn't need two extra bedrooms.

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"Spacers" wrote:

Why would a child who has a college degree be earning only minimum wage? And I don't know about you, but we do spend more now than we did pre-kids, on costs that we won't have after our kids move out. Our laundry has at least tripled, and at $7 per load that's a pretty significant increase. Our food bill has at least doubled, and I expect it will increase even more by the time they're teenagers. And if we haven't bought a home by then, then we could move into a cheaper place if we didn't need two extra bedrooms.

They have college degree's at 18/19? Even 21? I doubt it. And I don't know very many kids that actually get a great paying job right out of college. So yes, their spendable income would be a lot less than yours.

We only have one child, but our bills did not change that much. We still cook meals, we still pay for cable, we still pay our morgage. Those things would continue pre-kids or post-kids. I would never expect my child to pay MY morgage, a morgage that I decided to purchase. There is a large difference between a kid trying to earn a degree and working a part-time job, and a 30 year bum still living with their parents.

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For you anti-rent payers, what about expecting them to do certain things? Example, if you live here, you will be responsible for x, y, and z.

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"TyrantOfTheWeek" wrote:

For you anti-rent payers, what about expecting them to do certain things? Example, if you live here, you will be responsible for x, y, and z.

Like assigning chores?

I would expect them to clean/dust/vacuum their own bathrooms and rooms and do their own laundry. I would expect them to clean up after themselves and help keep the common areas (living room, kitchen, et cetera) tidy. If they ate meals with DH and I, I would expect them to offer to cook/clean up sometimes.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

They have college degree's at 18/19? Even 21? I doubt it. And I don't know very many kids that actually get a great paying job right out of college. So yes, their spendable income would be a lot less than yours.

.

you're right. I just read this morning, in the newspaper and papers never lie;), that only 54% of the 2010 college graduates in California have found jobs in their field. I felt that was a bit discouraging for college kids....
If my child needed some help and needed to live at home I wouldn't charge rent. In fact, DH and I just discussed this over the weekend. We will offer free rent to all of our kids to help them buy their first homes when the time comes. I don't want a big empty house and I want my kids to be able to buy homes without the huge struggle we had to save up and buy our first home.

If the kid was sitting at home playing video games and had no desire to charge into life I'd be getting him some good counseling to get to the bottom of the "real" issue at hand because there is a "real" issue, there always is.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

They have college degree's at 18/19? Even 21? I doubt it. And I don't know very many kids that actually get a great paying job right out of college. So yes, their spendable income would be a lot less than yours.

Most of us have said we wouldn't expect rent while they are in school. If they have a degree, they might not have a "great paying job" but they should absolutely be able to find a good-paying job or they shouldn't have pursued that degree. And of course their spendable income will be less than mine, but so will the rent they pay.

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Like assigning chores?

I would expect them to clean/dust/vacuum their own bathrooms and rooms and do their own laundry. I would expect them to clean up after themselves and help keep the common areas (living room, kitchen, et cetera) tidy. If they ate meals with DH and I, I would expect them to offer to cook/clean up sometimes.

Yeah, but I am not talking petty stuff like running the vacuum and cleaning up after themselves. That should be an automatic thing, rent or not.
My brother lives with my mom and he is responsible for mowing the lawn. And helping with upkeep on the house (My dad passed away last year)

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"TyrantOfTheWeek" wrote:

Yeah, but I am not talking petty stuff like running the vacuum and cleaning up after themselves. That should be an automatic thing, rent or not.
My brother lives with my mom and he is responsible for mowing the lawn. And helping with upkeep on the house (My dad passed away last year)

Oh, yes, in that situation (if my DH had passed away and my adult son was living with me) I would ask that he mow the lawn and help with the upkeep on the house as well.

If DH was alive and we were both hale and hearty? I don't know. If we needed help we would probably ask for it but I don't know that we would just assign it. Maybe.

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"Spacers" wrote:

Most of us have said we wouldn't expect rent while they are in school. If they have a degree, they might not have a "great paying job" but they should absolutely be able to find a good-paying job or they shouldn't have pursued that degree. And of course their spendable income will be less than mine, but so will the rent they pay.

Do most people actually work in the field that they got their degree in?

Anyhoo, by the time your adult, graduated, unemployed or underemployed child needs your help, saying that they should have gotten a degree in a different field is kind of a moot point. Should have, would have, could have, you know?

Also, I think this is partially dependent on the economy. My SIL is a certified engineer, a field that usually pays very well, but was laid off and has been struggling to find another job. I don't think she got the wrong degree, I think it's just a hard economy out there right now.

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"Spacers" wrote:

Most of us have said we wouldn't expect rent while they are in school. If they have a degree, they might not have a "great paying job" but they should absolutely be able to find a good-paying job or they shouldn't have pursued that degree. And of course their spendable income will be less than mine, but so will the rent they pay.

I disagree; there are plenty of degrees, including even general business degree's, where a student might think a great job awaits only to be put on a waiting list because the economy is terrible and jobs are few and far between.

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I could totally be remembering incorrectly, but I feel like a lot of the absolute rent chargers are also not planning to pay for their children's college.

Kids with huge student loans debts in a tough economy with minimal work experience could use a break, IMO. I'm happy to give it to mine.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

I disagree; there are plenty of degrees, including even general business degree's, where a student might think a great job awaits only to be put on a waiting list because the economy is terrible and jobs are few and far between.

So you would just let your grown-adult degree-bearing child sit around the house waiting for a good job to find them? I won't; I don't raise slackers. They can get a job at the mall or waiting tables or whatever else so that they can pay their bills, including their rent, while they search for their dream job. What's wrong with that? IMHO it's better than sitting around moping because you haven't found a job yet, and sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised at where life takes you!

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"Spacers" wrote:

So you would just let your grown-adult degree-bearing child sit around the house waiting for a good job to find them? I won't; I don't raise slackers. They can get a job at the mall or waiting tables or whatever else so that they can pay their bills, including their rent, while they search for their dream job. What's wrong with that? IMHO it's better than sitting around moping because you haven't found a job yet, and sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised at where life takes you!

Pretty sure Rebecca didn't say anything of the sort. I'm sure none of us plan or hope to raise slacker children so I guess I don't get what you are implying.

Eta to fix typo. Cant type on this stupid phone

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"Potter75" wrote:

Pretty sure Rebecca didn't say anything of the sort. I'm sure none of us plan or hope to raise slacker children so I guess I don't get what you are implying.

Rebecca's point was that it was "silly" to make a child pay rent because they Angel would probably only be making minimum wage, (b) would have to give up their entire paycheck for rent, and (c) might not even be able to find a job straight out of school anyway. All I'm saying is that I expect my children to find work, some work, perhaps *any* work, straight out of school, even if it's not in their field. That's the responsible thing to do, you grow up, you get a job, and you move out of your parents' home. That's what I expect my kids to do. And since they *will* be working, they *can* pay rent. Perhaps not market rate, and certainly not their entire paycheck, but something. IMHO anyone who lets a functional adult live in their home without making a contribution *is* creating a slacker, regardless of family relationship.

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"Spacers" wrote:

Rebecca's point was that it was "silly" to make a child pay rent because they Angel would probably only be making minimum wage, (b) would have to give up their entire paycheck for rent, and (c) might not even be able to find a job straight out of school anyway. All I'm saying is that I expect my children to find work, some work, perhaps *any* work, straight out of school, even if it's not in their field. That's the responsible thing to do, you grow up, you get a job, and you move out of your parents' home. That's what I expect my kids to do. And since they *will* be working, they *can* pay rent. Perhaps not market rate, and certainly not their entire paycheck, but something. IMHO anyone who lets a functional adult live in their home without making a contribution *is* creating a slacker, regardless of family relationship.

Awesome! At 36 I'm amazed at how many well off, responsible, home owning, hard working, financially responsible "slackers" I know, according to your definition Smile

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"Spacers" wrote:

Rebecca's point was that it was "silly" to make a child pay rent because they Angel would probably only be making minimum wage, (b) would have to give up their entire paycheck for rent, and (c) might not even be able to find a job straight out of school anyway. All I'm saying is that I expect my children to find work, some work, perhaps *any* work, straight out of school, even if it's not in their field. That's the responsible thing to do, you grow up, you get a job, and you move out of your parents' home. That's what I expect my kids to do. And since they *will* be working, they *can* pay rent. Perhaps not market rate, and certainly not their entire paycheck, but something. IMHO anyone who lets a functional adult live in their home without making a contribution *is* creating a slacker, regardless of family relationship.

Wow.....I totally disagree with your last sentence. Like I said before, I lived with my Mom for awhile before I got married and she didn't charge me rent. I'm certainly not a "slacker" and I never was. I was going to school FT, working FT, and saving my money for my wedding (that I didn't expect my parents to pay for) and to get a good start in life. How in the heck does that make me a "slacker" simply because I didn't pay rent?

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Tanya, it doesn't. It makes you smart and lucky. And it makes people who would call you otherwise shortsighted and judgmental. My sister lived at home for several years right out of college and my parents loved it. She was working full time and getting her masters (which she was paying for). She was saving up for her wedding. She is one of the hardest working most frugal people I know.

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"Potter75" wrote:

Tanya, it doesn't. It makes you smart and lucky. And it makes people who would call you otherwise shortsighted and judgmental. My sister lived at home for several years right out of college and my parents loved it. She was working full time and getting her masters (which she was paying for). She was saving up for her wedding. She is one of the hardest working most frugal people I know.

And WTH?!? Are you really 36 or is that a typo? Because you look amazing, even if you do plan on raising some sorry-butt slacker kids! lol

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In these tough economic times, I bet "slackers" are really on the rise.

Personally, I believe that families are supposed to care of each other in times of need if possible. I was thinking about it the other day, and if DH's sister needed a place to stay while she gets back on her feet, she would be welcome to stay with us. I'm sure she wouldn't have to (if it comes to that, I'm sure she'll move in with her parents, who I am sure will not charge her rent) but if she needed to, she could. Because we're family, and because I know she's not a slacker, she's a fully functional adult who got screwed by a bad economy and is working on it. And she's just my sister-in-law! I'm sure I would feel that way + about my kid.

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"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

And WTH?!? Are you really 36 or is that a typo? Because you look amazing, even if you do plan on raising some sorry-butt slacker kids! lol

I'm blushing Smile Yes, I am 36. I'm not a slacker when it comes to exercise, despite my lazy slacker raising parents who allowed me to live at their home for 6 months while I found a job and a place to live!

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Rent Charger.

Our mortgage will be paid off in 3 years and by the time J is 18 and ready for college we *should* own another 3 houses..or 2.5 houses if we keep vacationing the way we have. Wink

It's not the need for money for us, but I was raised knowing I would pay rent as an adult child. For the two months I needed between an apartment with my college roommate and a house room with three other friends, I did. I didn't want to live by myself, so moved back in for those two months until the room was ready. I paid 250 and took over the notes/car that my brother purchased and couldn't afford (until my other brother wrecked it). I also was responsible for 1/3 of all household duties and 1/2 the electric bill. I would have got a lot more comfortable if it hadn't cost me the same as the two bedroom apt we had with fancy furniture and a pool.

My sister, on the other hand, is 27 and just completed her first real week of work last Friday. She showed up late twice and couldn't even get her kid to daycare by herself all five days; my mom had to help. It does create a sense of entitlement in lots of people and I'm sure the women on the GDB are not the usual "move back in with parents" that the articles and network shows are about.

I don't want my kid to struggle doing things on his own, I want him to realize how life works. I want him to realize that we aren't always going to be there. People who continually let their children mooch off of them can't take care of those children from the grave. My mom didn't set aside the money for me, she needed it, but I don't begrudge a penny I paid because I was an adult.

If the GI Bill doesn't change in the next 15 years, his school will be paid for and if he's full-time, then he'll get a housing and book allowance and his savings account has enough for the first year of the projected cost for a years tuition at a state college at three. So my child(ren)'s school will be covered as long as we don't have three kids.

eta- forgot to mention that my room had been turned into a foosball table room and my mom had painted it orange and put a futon in there.

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That is all great Lillie, and I mean that very sincerely. Without trotting out our personal financial situation, lets just say I feel very confident in saying that DESPITE the 6 months I got of rent free living after transplanting cross country, somehow my parents managed to create a responsible and capable adult in me. Ditto my sister. (and her husband, who also lived with his parents for a short time while engaged and after selling his condo and before buying their home). Ditto my brother. Ditto so many of my friends.

I don't think that you can credit you paying your parents rent for two months for all of who you are or what you have done as an responsible individual, however. I also don't think that all kids who are forced to pay rent to their parents will emerge as financially responsible individuals, just as I don't believe that every child who at some point lives rent free with family as an adult will be a "slacker".

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"TyrantOfTheWeek" wrote:

For you anti-rent payers, what about expecting them to do certain things? Example, if you live here, you will be responsible for x, y, and z.

In our household, our rules are that as long as they're living under our roof and going to school, they are not charged rent or food. If they're getting good grades, we also pay car insurance. They are on their own for gas (with the exception of needing help to get to school and back) and cell phones as they are wants, not needs. If they are not going to school or if there is not an emergency (medical or otherwise) that required them to need to live at home, they will be expected to financially contribute to the house or live on their own. If they are not employed, they will have a grace period to become productive. While they are living at home, they are fully expected to help with basic household chores. If they are a bump on a log and refusing to be productive without good cause or if they are continuously disrespectful to the household rules or members, they are to look for accommodations elsewhere. Right now, I have one adult child that is currently living on his own in the town he's going to college while working (much higher than minimum wage) and going to school and one adult child who has chosen to go to a local college and live at home while working part time. So we are right in the middle of this issue! So far, they've found our plan to be reasonable.

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The original debate started as a 24 year old *still* living at home. I know it's emerged into other things, but can you really imagine calling someone who lives rent free at their parent's home for over 6 years past the age of being an adult anything besides a slacker? We had one girl in that exact situation go through Basic Training for the Air Force with us. There is no way she will ever be able to support herself because at 24, that was her first *job*. She'd never gone to college and it was appalling to see that she didn't even know how to do laundry. I think her parents set her up for failure.

I know there are thousands of reasons to move back home, but if you consistently support your adult child financially, don't you think there are issues that need to be resolved that are being enabled by the parents?

Sorry, I put all my crap up, but Rebecca kept talking about paying our own bills. My bills are paid. I just don't think that you should have to support your child financially for any longer than is absolutely needed.

What is the cut off for those who would let their child live rent free? Or is there one?

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