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  1. #11
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    I agree with Kim. Yes the problem needs to be addressed, but not take the child away unless there are other problems. I know a mother that was nursing for the first time. The baby was not gaining any weight and was very sickly looking. CPS did become involved but the answer was not to ripe the baby away from the mother. They brought a nurse out every Friday for a few months and the nursed worked with the mother on breastfeeding and nutrition. A couple of years later the baby is a healthy happy little girl. The young mom just needed some education. She was not purposefully trying to starve her baby yet she would have died without intervention.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    I agree with Kim. Yes the problem needs to be addressed, but not take the child away unless there are other problems. I know a mother that was nursing for the first time. The baby was not gaining any weight and was very sickly looking. CPS did become involved but the answer was not to ripe the baby away from the mother. They brought a nurse out every Friday for a few months and the nursed worked with the mother on breastfeeding and nutrition. A couple of years later the baby is a healthy happy little girl. The young mom just needed some education. She was not purposefully trying to starve her baby yet she would have died without intervention.
    Yeah......this is 15 years of nuggets. REALLY hard for me to see the comparison. If this person is so dumb that in any way they think that it is okay on any level to only eat ONE thing for 15 years as a growing child, let alone have that thing be a processed death food? You are a danger to your child, negligent at best.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClairesMommy View Post
    In thinking more about this I believe that the damage was done years ago. Is the mother abusing the girl today? Maybe not. But for years she systematically encouraged a cycle of addiction that has almost killed the girl.
    I get the feeling it was out of cluelessness though. Not out of some demonic feelings towards the child or some sort of pervertion of the parenting/child relationship.

    We would have no problem labelling the withholding of food as abuse,
    Well of course not, because thats a more serious issue than just malnutrition...this is deliberate torture.

    or providing a diet of nothing but high fat, high sugar and high calories that leads to obesity as abuse.
    Actually i think this is a very controversial topic...i'm not too keen on abuse in this situation either. I think its terrible and wrong, but I think it can be a result of again, being clueless, uneducated or something else along those lines. Not to mention its extremely hard I think to find a line between a 'really bad diet" and "bad enough to be abuse".

    I'm not saying there shouldn't be any recourse to help children who are the victim of inept or clueless parents, i just don't see it the same as abuse of other sorts. I think there needs to be a difference somehow.
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    Posting Addict ClairesMommy's Avatar
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    But Bonita, ignorance is not a defence for neglect or abuse. Saying "But I didn't know any better!" doesn't make it okay that it happened.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClairesMommy View Post
    But Bonita, ignorance is not a defence for neglect or abuse. Saying "But I didn't know any better!" doesn't make it okay that it happened.
    I do believe that CPS would take intent into consideration when taking a child away from a parent. If it was that they just did not know better and are willing to work with CPS and make changes and improvements then CPS would work with the parent. If the intent was to be malicious and to starve the child, then CPS would be less accommodating.

    ~Bonita~

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClairesMommy View Post
    But Bonita, ignorance is not a defence for neglect or abuse. Saying "But I didn't know any better!" doesn't make it okay that it happened.
    Seriously though. What would charging her with abuse accomplish? Would it scare other parents who don't know how to handle a picky eater into somehow figuring it out? I don't think so actually. I don't think you can 'scare' a parent into figuring out how to parent better. I doubt this mom actually wanted her to only eat chicken nuggets.

    I think of wild children who aren't discipliend well. Their parents are doing a disservice to their kids too.

    Thats what this sounds like to me...that this mother did not know how to deal with those 'battles of wills' that are so common with kids and parents. I dont' think you can scare someone into knowing how to deal with that better.

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    I can kind of see Kim's point because there are a lot of obese children who are that way because their parents allow them to eat nothing but junk. Those parents are not (I don't think) visited by CPS or accused of abuse, even though really, they are doing the same thing....just with potentially a wider array of junk food than JUST chicken nuggets 24/7. So I guess it could be a gray area, but I do think some serious intervention is needed.
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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClairesMommy View Post
    But Bonita, ignorance is not a defence for neglect or abuse. Saying "But I didn't know any better!" doesn't make it okay that it happened.
    I guess for me I put a lot of weight on the mental aspect of the relationship between a parent and child more so than the physical when it comes to abuse. I don't like it when parents who genuinely love their children and want the best for them, but get bad results because they can't figure out how to parent are criminalized in the same way as someone who is sexually, physically or mentally abusive.

    Like i said, i think there should be a method for dealing with this type of thing...but i guess i don't like it categorized as being equal to other more typical forms of abuse.

    We don't treat all death at the hands of others equally...i guess i feel like it should be the same way for abuse.
    Last edited by KimPossible; 07-11-2013 at 05:26 PM.

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    Severely obese children frequently have CPS involved, up to and including the removal of the child from the home.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimPossible View Post
    I guess for me I put a lot of weight on the mental aspect of the relationship between a parent and child more so than the physical when it comes to abuse. I don't like it when parents who genuinely love their children and want the best for them, but get bad results because they can't figure out how to parent are criminalized in the same way as someone who is sexually, physically or mentally abusive.

    Like i said, i think there should be a method for dealing with this type of thing...but i guess i don't like it categorized as being equal.

    We don't treat all death at the hands of other equally...i guess i feel like it should be the same way for abuse.
    I cannot fathom a parent who loves their child walking to McD's three times a day to pick up chicken nuggets. I just can't. No amount of ignorance can overcome the laziness and selfishness and pure slovelyness of this action. Its negligence. This girl will DIE if her diet doesn't change NOW. That is not love. Its neglect. She has neglected her child's physical needs to the point where the child needed to be hospitalized. Its the definition of neglectful parenting, to me.

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