Thread: Court case may define what a "mother" is

Originally Posted by GloriaInTX

But what would she have gotten out of a surrogacy agreement? The father admits he didn't pay her anything, so in that case she would have gone through the pregnancy for free. I think she was absolutely tricked, he even got her to sign this statement. The problem is that I think that proves her case, because if he made her sign an affidavit that she received no compensation, then what would be her motivation to be a surrogate? That is proof to me that she wanted the babies to begin with because she had no other reason to go through with the preganancy other than wanting to be a mother.


Cindy Close & Marvin McMurrey III: Here's One Weird-*** Child Custody Case - Houston - News - Hair Balls

As I said earlier, in other countries compensation is illegal, and all surrogates in those places are doing it out of the goodness of their heart and not for any gain. Maybe she started out that way, then changed her mind and decided she wanted to keep the baby?

Originally Posted by kris_w

As I said earlier, in other countries compensation is illegal, and all surrogates in those places are doing it out of the goodness of their heart and not for any gain. Maybe she started out that way, then changed her mind and decided she wanted to keep the baby?

Sorry that just doesn't make any sense to me. Some friend who she apparently doesn't even know very well, and didn't even know he was gay or had a partner? A pregnancy at 47 years old for a woman who has no children of her own? Even those surrogates that do it out of the goodness of their heart usually have some reason, they are doing it for a couple that is family or close friends or something. Most have been through preganancy before and know what to expect, and have children of their own. Nope doesn't even ring a bit true for me.

Originally Posted by GloriaInTX

Sorry that just doesn't make any sense to me. Some friend who she apparently doesn't even know very well, and didn't even know he was gay or had a partner? A pregnancy at 47 years old for a woman who has no children of her own? Even those surrogates that do it out of the goodness of their heart usually have some reason, they are doing it for a couple that is family or close friends or something. Most have been through preganancy before and know what to expect, and have children of their own. Nope doesn't even ring a bit true for me.

I have two friends who have been surrogates. Neither knew the parents-to-be well. More of a friend of a friend of a friend sort of thing. They heard of the need and offered to carry their baby. One of my friends is in her 40's and is attempting her second surrogate pregnancy. You may not believe it, but I know of these situations personally. They aren't that unheard of.

That said. I do think the woman in this situation is trying to back out of the surrogacy agreement. Maybe because she wasn't all that altruistic and wanted the baby for herself the whole time. Both of my friends completed their own families years prior.

I am 43 and trying for another baby. My RE told me that at my age the only way IVF would work is with donor eggs. So I am not surprised to see that she used donor eggs. I am surprised that she signed a statement that she is not genetically related to the babies.

Ultimately, on July 3, Close signed an affidavit in which she stated "I am not genetically related to the children" and "I participated in the procedure voluntarily and did not receive compensation for my services other than reimbursement for medical costs of the assisted reproductive procedures." She also declared McMurrey to be the biological father.

Sad situation. I wonder how it will be resolved.

I don't understand why her saying she is not genetically related is a big deal. she used donor eggs so of course she isn't. if a normal couple uses donor sperm or eggs and they split up, custody doesn't automatically go to the genetically related parent.

I think both sides thought they were taking advantage of the other. Cheap surrogate and IVF paid for.

Originally Posted by kris_w

I have two friends who have been surrogates. Neither knew the parents-to-be well. More of a friend of a friend of a friend sort of thing. They heard of the need and offered to carry their baby. One of my friends is in her 40's and is attempting her second surrogate pregnancy. You may not believe it, but I know of these situations personally. They aren't that unheard of.

That said. I do think the woman in this situation is trying to back out of the surrogacy agreement. Maybe because she wasn't all that altruistic and wanted the baby for herself the whole time. Both of my friends completed their own families years prior.

That's wonderful that your friends have done that, and perhaps in Canada it's not uncommon, especially if there can't be any payment for it. In the U.S. it's virtually unheard of for a surrogate to be in her 40s or to have not had a healthy pregnancy before; both is pretty much insane unless it's for your sister. And entering into a surrogate pregnancy without a contract is also virtually unheard of; who wants to be on the hook for hospital bills for someone else's baby? To have a 48-year-old woman carrying your babies -- for free! -- when she's never had a healthy pregnancy before, and especially when she's told mutual friends for well over a year of her plans to have a baby *with* you, and to do it without any contract just screams that this was NOT intended to be a surrogacy.

Originally Posted by Spacers

That's wonderful that your friends have done that, and perhaps in Canada it's not uncommon, especially if there can't be any payment for it. In the U.S. it's virtually unheard of for a surrogate to be in her 40s or to have not had a healthy pregnancy before; both is pretty much insane unless it's for your sister. And entering into a surrogate pregnancy without a contract is also virtually unheard of; who wants to be on the hook for hospital bills for someone else's baby? To have a 48-year-old woman carrying your babies -- for free! -- when she's never had a healthy pregnancy before, and especially when she's told mutual friends for well over a year of her plans to have a baby *with* you, and to do it without any contract just screams that this was NOT intended to be a surrogacy.

That's what I was thinking too - it may not be an uncommon situation in Canada, but it seems to be almost unheard of here.

Originally Posted by Spacers

That's wonderful that your friends have done that, and perhaps in Canada it's not uncommon, especially if there can't be any payment for it. In the U.S. it's virtually unheard of for a surrogate to be in her 40s or to have not had a healthy pregnancy before; both is pretty much insane unless it's for your sister. And entering into a surrogate pregnancy without a contract is also virtually unheard of; who wants to be on the hook for hospital bills for someone else's baby? To have a 48-year-old woman carrying your babies -- for free! -- when she's never had a healthy pregnancy before, and especially when she's told mutual friends for well over a year of her plans to have a baby *with* you, and to do it without any contract just screams that this was NOT intended to be a surrogacy.

Right. I agree with the bolded. I think she intended to keep the kids the whole time and not co-parent.

Originally Posted by Danifo

I think both sides thought they were taking advantage of the other. Cheap surrogate and IVF paid for.

I agree with this.

Originally Posted by kris_w

Right. I agree with the bolded. I think she intended to keep the kids the whole time and not co-parent.

I do think she expected to co-parent because she was counting on support from the father, as she said she wanted to be a stay at home mom. She just didn't expect the father would want to be involved in the actual day to day care of the kids, and it seems she was right, since his partner is caring for them and he isn't even living in the same house.