Craigs list sperm, lesbians, welfare, oh my!!!

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Joined: 05/31/06
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Craigs list sperm, lesbians, welfare, oh my!!!

[h=1]Kansas sperm donor ordered to pay child support prepares for battle[/h]

  • Reuters file photo shows a doctor injecting sperm directly into an egg during an in-vitro fertilization procedure. (Reuters)

A Kansas sperm donor who was ordered to pay child support for the baby he helped a lesbian couple conceive plans to fight back in court, and suggested he might be a victim of bias against same-sex parenting.
William Marotta told FoxNews.com he might never have agreed to provide sperm to Angela Bauer and her former partner, Jennifer Schreiner, had he known the legal morass that awaited him after responding to the women?s Craigslist ad for a donor in March 2009. The Kansas Department for Children and Families (DCF) recently filed a child support claim against Marotta after the couple filed for state assistance this year, leading the department to demand they provide the donor?s name so it could collect.
?I have a hunch part of the reason this is going this way is because of people?s feelings toward same-sex couples,? Marotta said in an exclusive interview with FoxNews.com. ?I can?t help but feel this is somewhat of a political issue.?
The 46-year-old machinist said he received notice in late October that he was being targeted by state officials to pay child support after the couple ? who parted ways in 2010 but still co-parent their eight children ranging in age from 3 months to 25 years ? were ordered by DCF officials to provide the sperm donor?s name. State officials argued that if the women did not identify the donor, the agency would deny health benefits due to withheld information.
[INDENT]?I can?t help but feel this is somewhat of a political issue.?[/INDENT]- William Marotta, sperm donor

Bauer, who could not be reached for comment Monday, told The Topeka Capital-Journal on Saturday that she and Schreiner were ?kind of at a loss? about the development.
?We are going to support him in whatever action he wants to go forward with,? Bauer told the newspaper.
Bauer, 40, and Schreiner, 34, had been together for eight years and previously adopted other children when Marotta responded to their ad and later provided sperm used to artificially inseminate Schreiner, who could not be reached for comment Monday.
?This was a wonderful opportunity with a guy with an admirable, giving character who wanted nothing more than to help us have a child,? Bauer said. ?I feel like the state of Kansas has made a mess out of the situation.?
Angela de Rocha, a spokeswoman for the Department for Children and Families, declined to speak on the matter on Friday, saying Kansas law prevented her from commenting.
Bauer can no longer provide health benefits for the now 3-year-old girl because a ?significant illness? has prevented her from working since March. The girl?s birth certificate lists no father, she told the newspaper, and only identifies Schreiner as the mother ? as does the birth certificate for each of the couple?s remaining children.
Since Kansas does not recognize same-sex marriage, the women had to file each adoption as a single parent. That law also prevents the state from collecting child support from same-sex partners, despite Bauer?s assumption of financial responsibility for her daughter. Bauer characterized the latest development in the case as a ?step backward? in the fight for marriage equality.
?More and more gays and lesbians are adopting and reproducing, and this, to me, is a step backward,? Bauer told the Topeka Capital-Journal. ?I think a lot of progressive movement is happening currently in the world as far as gays and lesbians go. Maybe this is Kansas? stand against some of that.?
Marotta ? who has relinquished all parental rights, including financial responsibility, under the 2009 agreement ? said he?s preparing for a lengthy legal fight that has already cost him several thousand dollars. He expects it will likely ?put a damper on things? for other people considering the same move.
?As the legal bills mount, I?m sure it?s going to leave more of a distaste,? he said. ?In the long run, I think this will be a good thing, but I?m the one getting squashed. I can?t even believe it?s gone this far at this point and there?s not a damn thing I can do about it.?
Marotta said a hearing on the matter will be held on Jan. 8, at which point he expects to have a hearing date set to appear before a judge.
?The only good thing I can see about this is it?s going to open a lot of eyes,? Marotta told FoxNews.com. ?But I?m like, ?Why me???
The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Read more: Kansas sperm donor ordered to pay child support prepares for battle | Fox News

All bolding mine.

Guy finding women to donate sperm to on Craigslist? Women having 8 children together (one is three months though they broke up in 2010 yet they co parent? Is my math off?) theoretically from craigs list donors? Is he liable? Is his "good deed" being punished, or does he, indeed need to man up as this kids dad? Victim? Bring it.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

I might of missed it, but was it clearly documented that he was just a sperm donor and not the parent? As the debate that we recently had on surrogate parents, if there was proper documentation first clearly stating the legal intentions before hand, there would be less question over situations like this. To me, it is not about the couple being gay. This could just as easily happen to an infertile straight couple. Any time that there is a surrogate or donor situation all of the details should be clearly spelled out before hand with a nice long paper trail.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

They have a signed contract which to me leaves him harmless.

I do think that their situation seems odd. Not that they are a lesbian couple. They have an adopted child that is 25 and they are only 9 and 15 years older than him/ her....not for me. Parenting a 3 mo. old together and having ended their relationship 2+ years ago. Again..odd to me.

I guess this would all be a moot point if same sex couples could have recognized state and federal benefits so that the other parent can factor in on situations like this.

Sapphire Sunsets's picture
Joined: 05/19/02
Posts: 672

Why didn't they just tell the state they didn't know his name? Usually you don't get the person's name.

Jessica: the baby is 3 yrs old. There are alot of typos. Maybe the 25 yrs old was the only baby that someone would let them adopt? I will say it makes it weird to have a child close in age though, my step-daugther is 7 yrs younger then me (15 yrs diff between DH and I).

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

oh okay...Melissa had the same understanding about the 3mo old that part is not as strange.

I wasn't trying to make a judgement on the ages..just that it seemed odd that they were close in age to both parents.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

I also don't understand why they told the truth about who the father is, although perhaps early on, before they knew it would come up, they admitted they knew the sperm donor. I also think there's something a little off about the number of kids and the ages.

That said, if they were married, none of this would matter, and the only reason they weren't married is because it isn't legal there yet, and so not only are they deprived of parental rights, the guy who provided the sperm is dragged in, so HE is being penalized because of Kansas' outdated laws.

Frustrating all around, and a bit of a weird story at that.

smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

Reason not to answer personal Craigslist ads #432.

I feel bad for this guy. Shame on that woman. (and honestly, shame on that guy for trusting anything without a lawyer! Do it at a bank where they have the legality covered) And what the heck was she thinking doing this without any of the testing that's done at a medical facility!? Aids? HIV? Any other diseases? Yikes.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

"smsturner" wrote:

Reason not to answer personal Craigslist ads #432.

I feel bad for this guy. Shame on that woman. (and honestly, shame on that guy for trusting anything without a lawyer! Do it at a bank where they have the legality covered) And what the heck was she thinking doing this without any of the testing that's done at a medical facility!? Aids? HIV? Any other diseases? Yikes.

I assume that was all due to finances....not that it makes it a smart choice. But those things are really expensive.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

I also don't understand why they told the truth about who the father is, although perhaps early on, before they knew it would come up, they admitted they knew the sperm donor. I also think there's something a little off about the number of kids and the ages.

That said, if they were married, none of this would matter, and the only reason they weren't married is because it isn't legal there yet, and so not only are they deprived of parental rights, the guy who provided the sperm is dragged in, so HE is being penalized because of Kansas' outdated laws.

Frustrating all around, and a bit of a weird story at that.

This is what I was thinking.

All that aside though, I still can't imagine how it is legal to drag him in when they had a signed contract removing him from all liability. Imagine if every time a woman gave a baby up for adoption, she could be penalized by the state if the adoptive parents later went on assistance.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

How is it different they if they had been a straight couple that went through a sperm donor? Not trying to be obtuse, I really want to know.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

Because the father of the straight couple could claim to be the father. That can't happen in Kansas with a same sex couple.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

How is it different they if they had been a straight couple that went through a sperm donor? Not trying to be obtuse, I really want to know.

If they were married, the state wouldn't ask about the sperm donor.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

The lesbian partner should be the one held liable for child support. She's the child's other parent. His sperm are just what helped the two of them make their baby together. Can't we just legalize same-sex marriage already?

Here's another sperm & lesbians story, California is relaxing the rules on sperm donor testing in certain circumstances:
New Calif. law eases sperm donor testing rules - SFGate

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

I am not sure legalizing same sex marriage would solve this problem completely. The mom that did not carry the baby legally adopted the baby and they are still seeking the donor.