The Decline of Traditional Marriage (Abort. mentioned) - Page 4
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Thread: The Decline of Traditional Marriage (Abort. mentioned)

  1. #31
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    Do you mean a wedding? I don't consider the cost of a wedding to factor into marriage. If you are only getting married in order to have a wedding you shouldn't be getting married.
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    It cost us $80 for our marriage license, and $150 for the woman who married us. If we'd gone to City Hall & been married by a commissioner, it would have been even cheaper. And there are so many financial benefits. We probably saved triple that amount the very first year just on health insurance premiums because we could get a family plan instead of two individual plans.
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    I was confused by that as well. What are these costs?
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  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    Do you mean a wedding? I don't consider the cost of a wedding to factor into marriage. If you are only getting married in order to have a wedding you shouldn't be getting married.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    It cost us $80 for our marriage license, and $150 for the woman who married us. If we'd gone to City Hall & been married by a commissioner, it would have been even cheaper. And there are so many financial benefits. We probably saved triple that amount the very first year just on health insurance premiums because we could get a family plan instead of two individual plans.
    I would guess she is talking about the cost of the wedding. Depending where you live there may be absolutely no financial gain to getting married, so if you are one of those who believe it is just a piece of paper removed from your commitment to each other, and a fancy expensive party, then whats the point of going the cheap route, and if you cant afford it, then the party route is just not worth it either.
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    There are many, many ways to have a zero cost or low cost wedding. If that's what keeps you from getting married then you are better off not married for sure! Just don't have "that" kind of wedding!
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  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by freddieflounder101 View Post
    There are many, many ways to have a zero cost or low cost wedding. If that's what keeps you from getting married then you are better off not married for sure! Just don't have "that" kind of wedding!
    I dont think you are really getting what I am saying (and honestly, my above comment sucks for clarity).

    So, answering purely for myself, the only reason we got married was because we wanted kids, and we wanted our whole family to have the same last name. Thats it. That was the only benefit we gained from marriage that we didnt already have as common law, and really, I could have changed my name without getting married, but we also wanted the party We managed to get married for a relatively low cost, without going into debt, but I can understand in some places the 'party' is going to cost a lot more.

    So people keep saying that you can get married for nothing, and if you are only getting married for the wedding than you are better off not married. But I guess the question I have is, why bother to get married at all? You dont need a marriage license to commit to someone. DH and I did that long before our wedding, so if you cant afford to celebrate your union with friends and family, then why not just open a bottle of wine in your own living room, commit to your partner and save the $200 or so in fees you would pay to get 'married'.
    Kyla
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    Quote Originally Posted by ftmom View Post
    I dont think you are really getting what I am saying (and honestly, my above comment sucks for clarity).

    So, answering purely for myself, the only reason we got married was because we wanted kids, and we wanted our whole family to have the same last name. Thats it. That was the only benefit we gained from marriage that we didnt already have as common law, and really, I could have changed my name without getting married, but we also wanted the party We managed to get married for a relatively low cost, without going into debt, but I can understand in some places the 'party' is going to cost a lot more.

    So people keep saying that you can get married for nothing, and if you are only getting married for the wedding than you are better off not married. But I guess the question I have is, why bother to get married at all? You dont need a marriage license to commit to someone. DH and I did that long before our wedding, so if you cant afford to celebrate your union with friends and family, then why not just open a bottle of wine in your own living room, commit to your partner and save the $200 or so in fees you would pay to get 'married'.
    The wedding had nothing to do with my decision to get married, though. I didn't actually care about celebrating it with a party or anything. I wanted to be married. If it doesn't change anything for you then yeah, there's no reason to do it. We were already living together and committed but for both of us -- him religious and me not -- it still meant something else to be married. (We don't even all have the same last name, I kept mine as is.)

    Different meanings for different people, it's all good. Our wedding was a pot luck picnic. Being husband and wife means the world to us.
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    Quote Originally Posted by freddieflounder101 View Post
    The wedding had nothing to do with my decision to get married, though. I didn't actually care about celebrating it with a party or anything. I wanted to be married. If it doesn't change anything for you then yeah, there's no reason to do it. We were already living together and committed but for both of us -- him religious and me not -- it still meant something else to be married. (We don't even all have the same last name, I kept mine as is.)

    Different meanings for different people, it's all good. Our wedding was a pot luck picnic. Being husband and wife means the world to us.
    So because someone wants a big expensive wedding, they shouldn't even consider marriage? That's ridiculous.

    I would love a huge fairy tale wedding, it doesn't mean I would marry any tom, **** or harry to get it. I would only marry someone I truly loved and wanted to be with for the rest of my life. However, our "tradtion" is to have the wedding dress and the after party with all your family and friends. That's what I would want, whether that make me a bad person or not.

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  9. #39
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    I don't think that is what anyone is saying. I wanted a big wedding (didn't have to be expensive though) and I was fortunate enough to be able to have what I wanted. However, if I didn't have that chance I would have married my dh no matter what.

    If you are delaying marriage only because you can't have some big fancy wedding, to me then, you shouldn't be getting married.

    Getting married is cheap. Weddings are (usually) expensive.
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minx_Kristi View Post
    So because someone wants a big expensive wedding, they shouldn't even consider marriage? That's ridiculous.

    I would love a huge fairy tale wedding, it doesn't mean I would marry any tom, **** or harry to get it. I would only marry someone I truly loved and wanted to be with for the rest of my life. However, our "tradtion" is to have the wedding dress and the after party with all your family and friends. That's what I would want, whether that make me a bad person or not.

    xx
    You're missing my point, and I certainly never said anything like that.

    All I'm saying is, if the reason you (proverbial you) don't get married is that you can't afford a specific wedding, it might be time to rethink what marriage means to you. Not everyone can afford that big event wedding, and if that's what stops you from wanting to get married, well...I think maybe getting married isn't a priority for you.

    I personally wouldn't hold off on taking the next step in my life because I couldn't afford a party. I'd get married, then save up, and have the big party to celebrate at another time when things were better financially. To me, marriage is much more important than a wedding. Life is short, I wouldn't want to wait.
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