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Thread: Does Prom send damaging messages?

  1. #21
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    I went to 6 proms as a teen. I bought a total of 3 dresses. I reused them. Dress #1 was 50.00, dress #2 was 25.00 but was a clearanced x4 I think from the old Filene's Basement store and my senior year was 180.00. These proms ranged in years from 1996-1998. I can imagine it cost more now.

    I did get my hair done for I think all of them...probably 30-40 a pop. I know I had a limo for at least 2 but we went in a big group and split it..maybe 40.00 a person. Tickets were 60.00 a couple I think for my senior one but you could go as a single. We weren't a rich family at all. My parents just budgeted for it.

    As for if it is a damaging message...no. My parents spent what they could and I did help to contribute to things to as I had a part time job. A lot of people went with a friend or as a group (my senior year date was my good friend who is gay). I never saw it as this huge push to do certain things (many people didn't have limos and drove..it was not a big deal.)
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  3. #23
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    Am I the only one who wouldn't buy dresses online? I wouldn't....I have such a hard time finding a good fit.
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  4. #24
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    I don't think prom is anymore damaging than anything else. You have to work in your budget. I kind of compare it to kids birthday parties. The last 5 I've been to have been at places that cost over $300 to rent the space (I know because I looked for a reasonable place to have my daughter's party right before we move). Needless to say, we are having 5 girls over to do a craft and decorate cupcakes at home. I do have friends that are shocked I'm not renting a space, even if we weren't moving.

    I went with my husband a few eons ago. I think my dress was around $200 and my mom paid for it. We had a great time. I feel bad for kids that feel like they have to spend all that money to have a good time. As an adult, I know that it doesn't matter and if you can find a great deal, you are way better off than someone who spends thousands.
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  5. #25
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    Hahaha- no Jess- I also would not be buying cheap Internet dresses from china for my daughter. A good fit is critical to looking classy. It would be important toe that my daughter is wearing a style and fabric that is complimentary to her shape.

  6. #26
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    I actually think prom can send a great message to kids if parents do it right. I loved prom, went all 4 years to my school and 2 years to the school my high school boyfriend when to. Each time my parents told me how much they would give me for everything I needed and that I would have to pay for the rest. My favorite dress was my junior year, I found it on a clearance rack for $25 bucks in a size 15! I wore a 0 or 1 in high school (not so much now) so my grandma had to take it way it, but it was super unique and looked great. The next year my dress cost $500. I think my parents gave me $200 each year (this was back in the early 90's) so the year that my dress was so expensive I had to spend a lot of my own money so it was a big decision for me!
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  7. #27
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    Am I the only one who wouldn't buy dresses online? I wouldn't....I have such a hard time finding a good fit.
    I think it really depends on how handy you are. My MIL and my mom are both very good seamstresses, so I bought my bridesmaids dresses on line (because they couldnt agree on anything in the store). I just bought them a size bigger than the sizing guide said, and then had MIL and Mom take them in for a custom fit. They looked fantastic, but were totally not something they would wear again (yes, I will admit this), so I am glad I didnt spend more than $100 for both of them.
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  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danifo View Post
    feel bad for kids that feel like they have to spend all that money to have a good time. As an adult, I know that it doesn't matter and if you can find a great deal, you are way better off than someone who spends thousands.

    Thats so relative as to be a slightly ridiculous statement. Did you feel like you "HAD" to spend $200 (a ton of money that many people could never ever spend on a dress). I don't think that most kids are in some frenzied panic all worried that they *HAVE!!!* to spend money to have fun . I think that most kids are just doing what their peer group is doing, as with most other things. I don't think that they equate more money = more fun.

    And the last statement is also relative. Spending $200 is a TON of money to some people, and to others it simply isn't a lot. Thats just simple math, some people have a lot more money than others. I don't know that that always makes the person who spends less "way better off". Frankly I wouldn't be caught dead in the blue sparkly $17 dress Bonita posted. So yeah, I think that I'm way better off looking better in a more expensive dress that has a modicum of style and class. Not necessarily the worlds most expensive dress, but not a $17 internet sparkle piece, either. Again, relative.

  9. #29
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    Here a lot of the girls are wearing the short dresses these days.



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  10. #30
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    Thats so relative as to be a slightly ridiculous statement. Did you feel like you "HAD" to spend $200 (a ton of money that many people could never ever spend on a dress). I don't think that most kids are in some frenzied panic all worried that they *HAVE!!!* to spend money to have fun . I think that most kids are just doing what their peer group is doing, as with most other things. I don't think that they equate more money = more fun.

    And the last statement is also relative. Spending $200 is a TON of money to some people, and to others it simply isn't a lot. Thats just simple math, some people have a lot more money than others. I don't know that that always makes the person who spends less "way better off". Frankly I wouldn't be caught dead in the blue sparkly $17 dress Bonita posted. So yeah, I think that I'm way better off looking better in a more expensive dress that has a modicum of style and class. Not necessarily the worlds most expensive dress, but not a $17 internet sparkle piece, either. Again, relative.
    Statements like these are why kids feel like they need to spend more money. They know people will be saying "I wouldnt be caught dead in that dress" If as adults we act like this, just know that girls in high school are probably being way worse about it. Kind of gross for adults to act like that.
    The girl that was prom queen my sophomore year flew to New York to get her dress, but she was super classy and went out of her way to help other girls that were less fortunate get dresses. (the only reason I know she went to New York was because her my sister were BFFs)
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    Lisa
    Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson

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