My prom years short dresses were also in style. However, when I attended the Royal Military College Christmas ball the dresses were long and everyone wore gloves. Very, very, very formal. I think RMC is the Canadian equivalent of your West Point? All the military cadets - all graduate as officers. Is that right?
I couldn't tell you what's in this year. I was at a concert performed by 4th graders and about half the girls there dressed a whole lot better than I do.
DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03
Please read my posts.. I am usually pretty specific what is my person family's life and what some people's lives are like... I could care less if someone spends more.. I was saying what we do as a family.. My children must contribute if they want certain things or they just don't get them.. we don't have the income to support it.
We contribute what we can to wants.. after needs are covered. If they WANT more they have to work for it.. there really is nothing "snobbish" about it.
I do think children need to learn the value of money.. but I am not saying those with more income are not teaching it.
DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03
Interesting. Because I talked about what I personally would do, how I personally would raise some money to help fund my daughters prom IF it was important to her, you deduced that that is what I think that everyone should do. We aren't allowed to talk about how we personally parent without others taking it to mean that that is how they should parent? thats a problem! I think that you are too sensitive to my posts and unwilling to look to my actual meaning, Bonita, which I can't fix. Your very unfair and unsubstantiated post about all of my friends being extremely wealthy or whatever gives that away pretty loud and clear.
And yes, I continue to maintain, and have explained thoroughly that I think that setting an arbitrary ~ what did Kim and Laurie call it? A "hardball limit" of $25 is yes, sortov unkind. As stated, 10 years from now that probably won't buy flowers. Perhaps unkind wasn't the right word, and if not I apologize, but it certainly isn't stating "RG you are a bad parent".........
Then again, I will say that I wildly disagree with the notion that all parents are responsible for as parents is needs. So yes, at heart we have a very basic and fundamental parenting schism on the issue. And yes, I do think that the notion that 100% all of the time a parent is responsible for is a need, never a want, IS unkind. Frankly I think that it is unloving. And that isn't name calling, that is my actual opinion, which I won't apologize for.
I think this goes hand-in-hand with the "posting gifts on FB" thing. There is a certain subset of people who not only want to have what they think is the biggest & best, but they also want to show it off to everyone. Some of us didn't care to have an engagement ring, others are very happy with whatever their fiance could afford, and some not only want the biggest ring, they wave it everyone else's face and post it on their news feed. Some of us view prom as our first grown-up dance, at a fancy place with a fancy dress, and not in the school gym where you're afraid to sit down in whatever might be stuck on the bleachers that you can't see in the dark. Others view prom as an occasion to show off how much money they can spend. I saw this difference between my junior year, at a small Catholic school, and senior year, at a large public school. Junior prom tickets were sold individually, included a dinner buffet, most of us carpooled or rented a limo for a pack of kids, and most of us wore comfortable shoes. I think I spent about $150 total, including pizza & champagne (great combo!) at my boyfriend's brother's house afterwards. Senior prom tickets were sold by couple whether you had a date or not, everyone was bragging about what fancy restaurant they got reservations for and how much they spent on dresses and shoes, and no one would even think of sharing a limo. I didn't go.
I'm hoping to instill my sense of frugality in my kids, a sense of money as a precious commodity not to be wasted. It's like water, we use what we need to drink and wash ourselves and grow our plants, and we run through the sprinkler on hot days even though it just runs down the drain, but we don't leave it running to just go down the drain for no purpose. We spend the money that we need to spend, and we spend enough money to have a good time, but we don't waste money. Prom was the same way for me, and hopefully it will be the same way for my kids. If you have a nice dress already, why not wear it? If you need a new dress, get one that you'll be happy wearing for special occasions for a couple of years. If you want to take a limo, how about sharing with other couples instead of paying all that money just for you & your date? A spa day with your friends is fun if you have the money for it, but so is a manicure party where you do one another's nails. As with most other things, I'll give them an amount of money that I can easily afford, and that I believe could fund a good, but not extravagant, time. If they want something more, then they'll have to earn the difference somehow.
70% of the U.S. population now lives in a state where same-sex marriage is legal. At 36 and counting!