DOMA and Prop 8 - Page 15
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Thread: DOMA and Prop 8

  1. #141
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    Are there truly no things that you think ideally should be different, but you do not care enough about to fight or not reap the benefits of?

    ~Bonita~

  2. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Are there truly no things that you think ideally should be different, but you do not care enough about to fight or not reap the benefits of?
    But this isn't one aspect of marriage. If you truly believe the government should NOT be involved in marriage, and you are not legally required to do it, then why would you? I think the church should not be involved in marriage so I didn't involve it. How is that any different?
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  3. #143
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    Because you can think "Oh that really would work better if it was different", and not care about it enough to try to change it. Right now, it is in my best interest to be legally married.

    It would be a little bit like a job situation. You could think to yourself that it was a bad work situation, but going yourself and quitting would not change things and would hurt you. It would take the entire place banning together and going on a strike before change happened. No one in the whole wide world cares if I am married or not (with the exception of DH, family, and friends, but you know what I mean). My deciding not to get married or to get divorced is not going to change marriage at all. It would take a large amount of people banning together to make change happen. It is not a cause that I care so deeply about that I am going to try to change the world all on my own.

    ~Bonita~

  4. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Because you can think "Oh that really would work better if it was different", and not care about it enough to try to change it. Right now, it is in my best interest to be legally married.

    It would be a little bit like a job situation. You could think to yourself that it was a bad work situation, but going yourself and quitting would not change things and would hurt you. It would take the entire place banning together and going on a strike before change happened. No one in the whole wide world cares if I am married or not (with the exception of DH, family, and friends, but you know what I mean). My deciding not to get married or to get divorced is not going to change marriage at all. It would take a large amount of people banning together to make change happen. It is not a cause that I care so deeply about that I am going to try to change the world all on my own.
    I'm not talking about getting divorced. I'm wondering why you'd get married in the first place if you didn't think it was the government's business. It's not even about changing the world or changing the laws. If you don't think the government belongs in your marriage, why get a government marriage?

    If you think McDonald's is a terrible place to work, don't go get a job there.

    Nothing compels you to get married, there's no law that says you have to.

    For me, there's no place for the church in my marriage, so I didn't get married in a church or have someone affiliated with religion perform the ceremony. It was just that simple.
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 11 ) and Juliet ( 7 )




    Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)

  5. #145
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    First, as others pointed out, I was 21 years old when I got married and the political aspects of marriage never crossed my mind.

    Second, I have never said there are not benefits to being married. There are. Whether or not there should be is the issue.

    Do you agree with every place you have ever worked 100%? Do you just quit or not apply to any place that you do not agree with one aspect of that job? I just can't wrap my mind around the idea that so many people on this board agree with everything they do 100% of the time. You agree with 100% of the practices of every single place you shop or work? You agree with 100% every policy of the State and city you work? After all, you could just quit your job and move to the fairy land that is 100% the way you like it and get the fairy job that is 100% the way you like it.

    No one is saying that marriage is the Devil's spawn and should be avoided at all costs. Just that ideally, the Government should not be involved.

    ~Bonita~

  6. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    First, as others pointed out, I was 21 years old when I got married and the political aspects of marriage never crossed my mind.

    Second, I have never said there are not benefits to being married. There are. Whether or not there should be is the issue.

    Do you agree with every place you have ever worked 100%? Do you just quit or not apply to any place that you do not agree with one aspect of that job? I just can't wrap my mind around the idea that so many people on this board agree with everything they do 100% of the time. You agree with 100% of the practices of every single place you shop or work? You agree with 100% every policy of the State and city you work? After all, you could just quit your job and move to the fairy land that is 100% the way you like it and get the fairy job that is 100% the way you like it.

    No one is saying that marriage is the Devil's spawn and should be avoided at all costs. Just that ideally, the Government should not be involved.
    But again, this isn't about ONE aspect of marriage, a small detail or facet of it. It's the whole enchilada.

    I am against drug testing but there was one company I worked for where I had to do it to get hired. The rest of the job had nothing to do with it and I didn't have to do it again.

    But if I felt it was wrong to produce tv shows, I wouldn't work for a tv network.

    if you believe that the whole idea of a of government-sanctioned marriage is a bad idea, why actively pursue it? Just for taxes? Is that what was top of mind? I doubt it.

    I think people who get government marriage do so because they want it, just like I do, just like gay people do.
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 11 ) and Juliet ( 7 )




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  7. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by freddieflounder101 View Post
    But again, this isn't about ONE aspect of marriage, a small detail or facet of it. It's the whole enchilada.
    The Governmental side of my marriage is only one tiny side of my marriage. It something that I only think about when I am debating this topic. Only one time in the 11 years I have been married has it even come up. It was when we were first married I needed to show my marriage licence in order to change my drivers licence. On a day to day basis, I do not think about it at all. When I think about what marriage is to me (Love, commitment, ec...) the Government does not even make the list.

    It would be far to much hassle to be married by the church and not married by the Government than it is worth.

    As for the financial aspect of being married, there is no financial benefit to me being married vs. single. A single mother with 3 children would qualify for all kinds of assistance. A married woman with three kids would not unless he made under a certain amount. I do not know anyone who got married because they thought it would be cheaper.

    ~Bonita~

  8. #148
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    If the Government was out of marriage completely, it would change what marriage is.

    If marriage stayed the same, and only I was not married it would not accomplish the same goal.

    I know many do not wish married to change, but I am allowed to have an opinion on what my ideal world would look like. That does not mean that it will ever happen.

    ~Bonita~

  9. #149
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    If you were making the decision now, would you still decide to get a government marriage? Just curious.
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 11 ) and Juliet ( 7 )




    Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)

  10. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by freddieflounder101 View Post
    If you were making the decision now, would you still decide to get a government marriage? Just curious.
    I would yes. My not getting legally married would not change or solve anything. As I said before it is something I think ideally should be different. It is not a cause that I feel passionate about or would even think regularly about. There causes that I feel strong enough about that I have written my Govenor and senators over and vote about. This topic is not one of those issues. It is just a "in my dream world this is how it would be" type of situations.

    ~Bonita~

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