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Thread: DOMA and Prop 8

  1. #191
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    So you just want to change the definition of marriage for your preferred group but then still discriminate against those who want to practice polygamy or whatever else they believe?
    I would be cool with polygamy in theory if there was a way to ensure that minors weren't being abused and coerced into the system. You hear of these religious groups that groom young women to believe that the only way for them to get to heaven is to marry and start sleeping with an old man not of their choosing when they are like 16. That is abuse in my mind and we need to protect people from that. But if truly consenting ADULTS want to enter into a polygamist marriage, that's not my cuppa, but it's also not my business. I'm cool with that.
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  2. #192
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    But this is already in place. So....you want people to be able to get married wherever and by whomever they want, and then to file a legal contract with the government to get their rights....but it will different from what we already have? How?
    It be different because there would be no protests and no disagreements because there would be nothing to disagree over. No government involvement except a legal contract between 2 people. No one changing the definition of marriage because the government wouldn't be telling anyone what a marriage is. What would anyone have to fight over in that case?
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  3. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    It be different because there would be no protests and no disagreements because there would be nothing to disagree over. No government involvement except a legal contract between 2 people. No one changing the definition of marriage because the government wouldn't be telling anyone what a marriage is. What would anyone have to fight over in that case?
    But is there still marriage?
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  4. #194
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    It be different because there would be no protests and no disagreements because there would be nothing to disagree over. No government involvement except a legal contract between 2 people. No one changing the definition of marriage because the government wouldn't be telling anyone what a marriage is. What would anyone have to fight over in that case?
    But my husband could go to the next town over and 'marry' some other lady without me knowing, cause nothing would be filed with the gov't? I dont think I would like that.
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  5. #195
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    So you just want to change the definition of marriage for your preferred group but then still discriminate against those who want to practice polygamy or whatever else they believe?
    It's not my "preferred group". It's couples who are adults and in love. Polygamy brings up all the concerns Alissa raised. If it were truly about consenting adults, that's fine by me. I just don't think it really is.
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  6. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    It be different because there would be no protests and no disagreements because there would be nothing to disagree over. No government involvement except a legal contract between 2 people. No one changing the definition of marriage because the government wouldn't be telling anyone what a marriage is. What would anyone have to fight over in that case?
    By the way if what you want is to get rid of protests and disagreement, I can think of a much easier way. The states are doing it one by one. . .
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  7. #197
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    It be different because there would be no protests and no disagreements because there would be nothing to disagree over. No government involvement except a legal contract between 2 people. No one changing the definition of marriage because the government wouldn't be telling anyone what a marriage is. What would anyone have to fight over in that case?
    No, seriously, I have no idea how it would be different. As it stands, people get married by whatever authority they want (even just themselves here in CO - you don't need anyone else to marry you at all in my state) and then you file the legal contract with the government. That seems to be exactly what you think should happen. And that is exactly what DOES happen. The only thing the government is changing is who can file for the legal contract. You seem to be hung up on the phrase "changing the definition of marriage" but the government isn't Websters. They're just changing who can file for their legal contracts. I honestly have no clue how you believe this would be different?
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  8. #198
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    No, seriously, I have no idea how it would be different. As it stands, people get married by whatever authority they want (even just themselves here in CO - you don't need anyone else to marry you at all in my state) and then you file the legal contract with the government. That seems to be exactly what you think should happen. And that is exactly what DOES happen. The only thing the government is changing is who can file for the legal contract. You seem to be hung up on the phrase "changing the definition of marriage" but the government isn't Websters. They're just changing who can file for their legal contracts. I honestly have no clue how you believe this would be different?
    That's what confuses me too. You HAVE all the things you say you want. Everything. You can just have a church marriage, and your church is allowed to refuse to marry gay couples. Win win! You don't want the government in marriage? You can keep it out of yours completely.

    What's left to complain about?
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  9. #199
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    Ya sure, that is why so many states passed constitutional amendments that marriage is between a man and a woman because there is no disagreement about that and no one is trying to change that definition.
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  10. #200
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Well technically, if a state passed an amendment that states that marriage is between a man and a woman, aren't they the ones changing it, since that legal definition didn't exist in that state before?

    Please correct me if I'm wrong, but you'd be okay with everyone gay and straight having a wedding as it suits them, and filing with the government, but you just don't want the government to call it a marriage. Is that right? Because if it is, I have to tell you that I think that no matter what the government calls it, culturally speaking, that ship has sailed. If two people have a wedding and file a legal document that recognizes it, I don't really think it matters whether the legal document has "Marriage License" or "Legal Partnership License" on it. They are going to call themselves married, and so will the rest of us. Sorry to break it to you. I mean, you can walk around saying "TECHNICALLY they are legally partnered, not legally married" but that will just make you look pedantic. The rest of us are going to consider that couple married.
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    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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