If they know they aren't going to have that great of quality of life, the family needs to consider that.
My dad has had inoperable prostrate cancer now for 13 yrs. He never wanted to do chemo or radiation just for that fear that his quality of life would decrease, he's always been a very active man. Now, he went for a scan the other day and he has masses everywhere and not doing chemo is no longer a choice. Trust me, I've wanted him to do chemo from the beginning but i completely understand his reasoning for not doing it sooner.....it just means his time here is going to be shorter then we want it to be. Parents are supposed to pass before there children anyways, not the other way around.
I'm sorry that I just saw this. Many many hugs to you and your family as well.