Facebook after death

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AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560
Facebook after death
Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

I don't like the idea of anyone getting control of any online account ever unless I give them my password. My FB page is private for a reason. If I haven't logged on for a certain number of months, haven't responded to a certain number of emails, then I'm dead or otherwise uninterested, and they should go ahead & delete my account. Anyone I would want to have control of it would already have the password or would find it with other important stuff (birth certificate, SSN, credit card numbers, etc.) in the fireproof safe.

I have a cousin who is terminal with breast cancer and my mom said that she's using FB to journal her last weeks or months and stay connected with people she won't be able to see again. She's already told everyone that her boyfriend will continue updating it with service information, etc. after her death. That's fine with me since it's her choice and she's given him the password. He shouldn't automatically get access to it because he's the executor.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

I have had a few different people I know die this year. In each situation someone has come in and either taken over their personal account or created a new account with their name on it. In one case there was much fighting in the family over who would control the website. On the other hand, it was nice to have a place to go to and offer condolences to the family. This is something I am torn over.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

I agree with what Stacey said (and so sorry to hear about your cousin. Hugs.)

What really bugs me is getting friend requests or "maybe you know so and so" from people who are deceased by those that are currently running it. Creeps me out.

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4115

I have had a cousin and a close friend's husband die recently and in both cases nothing was done on their facebook. Initially people posted comments such as we will miss you on their pages, and after that their accounts where left alone. I still have them on my friends list, but if it bothers anyone for them to be there all they have to do is remove them from thier list. I don't think anyone should take control of their accounts unless they ask someone to do it. I imagine the account will eventually be closed for inactivity and thats what I think should happen.

smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

I had a 17 year old cousin die last year the weekend before his high school graduation. It was horrible.

His best friend kept his fb up and going. And started adding in pictures of him with friends and family from before his death. Everyone could look through and comment and share great memories of Curt. It was a lovely way to connect and share in grief. Especially for all of the kids on his team and in his graduating class. The messages of love and support were also very nice for his mom and dad. And any time you want to remember him, you can just look him up.
I think it's a great idea for anyone who has a large amount of friends and family that connect on facebook that would like to share things like that.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

I think it should be like any other property that someone has when they pass away. I do think it should go to someone and individuals should make proper plans for that kind of thing. What a terrible story in that link. I would be really upset as that child's family that i could not do anything about such terrible behavior.

New day and age....where we have things that are personal but electronic.....i think personal means that someone close should have control over it when one is deceased.

I don't think it should just be deleted either. To me, that could be the equivalent of taking a lot of someone's photographs, letters and other keepsakes and burning them. Which I think a spouse or someone would object to.

The fact that its all digital doesn't make a difference to me.