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  1. #21
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    I also don't think anyone chooses the shame. I have been working for decades on liking myself when society tells me what I look like is not okay. I have been ashamed to go into exercise classes knowing other people will look at me. I have never been small even when playing collegiate sports or in the reserves. I will never be small. I work hard every day to know that I cannot compare myself to others so I need to work on being healthy myself. I don't choose to make other people say bad things about me. It took a long time for me to put up pictures of myself from my recent vacation because I know there are people on my friends list who will look at some of them and think "what a whale". That makes me want to stop eating, but I know that is the worst thing I can do for my health.

  2. #22
    Prolific Poster bunnyfufu's Avatar
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    So many thoughts. Our food supply is so messed up. Between GMO and highly processed Soy and Corn based ingredients, so much of our "food" isn't really food anymore. Most people can digest it, kind of. But I think that is a really essential key. Even if a family eats, real meats and veggies and dairy, the filler foods that people graze on throughout the day are all made of crap and the only way to really examine what you are eating is to food journal - in detail and in the process learning about what all of the unpronouncables on the labels of our foods are.

    That is a huge undertaking. And shaming a person is a really crappy place to begin teaching anything.

    I do feel that culture is a powerful motivator. It would help if franken foods were banned. If healthier foods were subsidized. I love the idea of a sin tax on crappy food. No one says that you can't have it, you are free to make that choice. It just becomes less convenient.

    I don't have a problem with, "a carefully calibrated effort of public social pressure is likely to awaken them to the reality of their condition." But I disagree that shaming a person based on how they look is useful.

    I would love to see a load of shame heaped onto a vast part of our food supply.

    U.S. Foods Full of Banned Ingredients
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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by bunnyfufu View Post
    So many thoughts. Our food supply is so messed up. Between GMO and highly processed Soy and Corn based ingredients, so much of our "food" isn't really food anymore. Most people can digest it, kind of. But I think that is a really essential key. Even if a family eats, real meats and veggies and dairy, the filler foods that people graze on throughout the day are all made of crap and the only way to really examine what you are eating is to food journal - in detail and in the process learning about what all of the unpronouncables on the labels of our foods are.

    That is a huge undertaking. And shaming a person is a really crappy place to begin teaching anything.

    I do feel that culture is a powerful motivator. It would help if franken foods were banned. If healthier foods were subsidized. I love the idea of a sin tax on crappy food. No one says that you can't have it, you are free to make that choice. It just becomes less convenient.

    I don't have a problem with, "a carefully calibrated effort of public social pressure is likely to awaken them to the reality of their condition." But I disagree that shaming a person based on how they look is useful.

    I would love to see a load of shame heaped onto a vast part of our food supply.

    U.S. Foods Full of Banned Ingredients
    I would love for people to realize how much our food has changed over the last decade. I just read a book about the changes in foods, like 50 years ago you could get all your vitamin C from 1 orange, now it would take 32. This book argued that a large majority of americans are actually malnourished in spite of being obese. Pretty intriguing stuff
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  4. #24
    Prolific Poster bunnyfufu's Avatar
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    I'd love to read it. Let me know the title.

    And you know that it is all about profit margins too. Soy derivatives are particularly vexing for me. When Soy is taken apart to make Soy Lecithin, Hydrogenated soybean oil, or Brominated vegetable oil. the process itself is all chemical and gross. Chemical processes to isolate parts to the soy bean protein, to cheaply add shelf life. Yuck. These things are used as emulsifyers (think butter) or for purely cosmetic purposes. Gatorade recently took BVO out of their drinks. The only reason it was in there because it makes it look cloudy - like there may be actual juice in there. MT Dew has it, Fanta.

    eta: I am kind of on a rant here, but another interesting tidbit. People who have been diagnosed with a soy allergy can eat soy lecithin with no problem as the protein has been so drastically modified. Vice versa is also true. People who cannot eat soy lecithin, BVO, Hydrogenates, can eat tofu, soy sauce, edamame, sprouts. Tell me that's not weird.
    Last edited by bunnyfufu; 03-02-2013 at 09:45 PM.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by blather View Post
    I also don't think anyone chooses the shame. I have been working for decades on liking myself when society tells me what I look like is not okay. I have been ashamed to go into exercise classes knowing other people will look at me. I have never been small even when playing collegiate sports or in the reserves. I will never be small. I work hard every day to know that I cannot compare myself to others so I need to work on being healthy myself. I don't choose to make other people say bad things about me. It took a long time for me to put up pictures of myself from my recent vacation because I know there are people on my friends list who will look at some of them and think "what a whale". That makes me want to stop eating, but I know that is the worst thing I can do for my health.
    I don't know. I really struggle with this. I think that we are responsible for how we feel about our bodies (or our gender, or our parenting or whatever). I can't buy into the notion that it is so uncomfortable to be a size that MOST of the world now is, you know?I think that so many people are concerned with people judging them when in reality most people are caught up in worrying about themselves, not bothering to worry about other peoples bodies. I think that we have to own up to our own feelings about our bodies and the role that we play in either accepting or denying shame ~ society can't make us feel anything that we don't allow ourselves to feel, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

    And honestly if you have friends who would think that of you they aren't friends :/. That is crappy and I'm sorry.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    I can't buy into the notion that it is so uncomfortable to be a size that MOST of the world now is, you know?
    Seriously? I am going to go out on a limb and guess that you have never been overweight? There is plenty of shaming out there already.

    ~Bonita~

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Seriously? I am going to go out on a limb and guess that you have never been overweight? There is plenty of shaming out there already.

    I've also never been president and I have lots of political opinions. I had three children in three years ~ with my last one I gained 40 lbs, I've had weight to lose just like most mothers. There is also lots of gender based inequality or shaming out there. I don't accept it just like I don't accept the notion that I should look like a supermodel just because they are in magazines. I take an active role in not reading things that would make me feel badly about myself and take responsibility for my own self image.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    I've also never been president and I have lots of political opinions. I had three children in three years ~ with my last one I gained 40 lbs, I've had weight to lose just like most mothers. There is also lots of gender based inequality or shaming out there. I don't accept it just like I don't accept the notion that I should look like a supermodel just because they are in magazines. I take an active role in not reading things that would make me feel badly about myself and take responsibility for my own self image.
    In theory, that's great and I agree with you. In practice, I think it's more complicated than that for many people, myself included. When you've spent a lifetime being innundated with messages about how you *should* look including at home, from childhood, it's not always as easy to separate yourself from those messages even when you know that you absolutely should. Humans are, by nature, social creatures, and most of us do care what others think, even if that's just "what I think that others think."
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  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    In theory, that's great and I agree with you. In practice, I think it's more complicated than that for many people, myself included. When you've spent a lifetime being innundated with messages about how you *should* look including at home, from childhood, it's not always as easy to separate yourself from those messages even when you know that you absolutely should. Humans are, by nature, social creatures, and most of us do care what others think, even if that's just "what I think that others think."

    I guess. But when 2/3's of Americans are overweight its just a little hard for me to accept that people who are in the overwhelming majority feel that judged about their bodies. They look like *most* Americans! Do people really still compare themselves to a microfraction of the population (models etc)? There is also judgement on people who love to workout (narcissist! Shallow!) or on people who have tattoos, or who get cosmetic surgery, or who have strange piercings, or whatever. We can choose to accept or not accept that judgment, to let it bother us or not.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    But when 2/3's of Americans are overweight its just a little hard for me to accept that people who are in the overwhelming majority feel that judged about their bodies.
    I have never met an overweight person that does not feel judged about their weight.
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    ~Bonita~

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