Melis you are totally missing my point about size zero. It has NOTHING to do with the people who are that size. Nothing. They're not empty, they're not too small. There is nothing wrong with them. There is something wrong with an industry that keeps us insecure all the time, changing the numbers of sizes from one place to another, making us feel like we don't deserve nice clothes if we don't have flat stomachs, and creating sizes to the point that people can be a size zero. I just think it should have been called something else. I think the numbers system for women's clothing is bad and I think the industry itself is set up to make us feel constantly insecure and unsteady.
Weight debates are always fraught with anxiety for me. I hear what you are saying. I agree that shaming goes on both ways. Which kinda makes me think that we should all be aware that shaming is mean.
Just to add, that I also get what Laurie is saying about size 0. I don't think that is shaming to a small person.
Although, it is hurtful when someone discounts your person with a, "What, you're probably a size 2." or "That's the risk of having an adolescent boy's body." Assumptions are hard. I've heard people called a ***** because they can wear a bikini as an adult. I think some people take IQ points off if you are fit. That I've just somehow been lucky. I had 65 lbs to lose after I had my son. I get that it's hard. Because it is a daily discipline.
With all of that baggage, weight is just hard to talk about in useful, non-confrontational terms.
Which ultimately is why I don't think shaming is useful. There are things people can do to improve their health but we never get to talking about it because everyone is so defensive. KWIM?
After my second was born I had a really hard time losing the weight. I didn't look pregnant, I just looked overweight. But I never felt an ounce of shame from other people. Nobody looked at me with judgment in their eyes. I wasn't treated any differently by strangers (who had no idea I'd just had a baby). The shame I felt came from within. It was my issue with my own body image. I didn't want to be unhealthy or overweight and nobody else had to make me feel crappy about myself. I did that all on my own. I had no resentment about it and didn't blame other people for me being unhappy with my body.
I think it goes both ways too and I don't think it's any better to make fun of/comment on people who are skinny. I assume that the fit people I see work hard at it. It's like yoga. . .when I see someone do some amazing thing that I can't do, I don't think "you *****!" or "I suck!". I think "Wow, that is amazing."
Lisa, I agree with what you posted. I've felt more judgment or heard more negative comments related to losing weight than gaining it. I also don't give a crap about that judgment.
Last edited by Potter75; 03-05-2013 at 05:00 PM.
That day, we were having a deep discovery of the number zero and it's larger role in the mathematics cosmology. Like you, she insisted that it held an important place. As a freshman in a plaid skirt, I sassed her that it was nothing. Or at least it signified nothing. Our argument became legendary in a lunchroom way.
Now, I think we are both right.
And although the White Witch has long gone onto the eternal algebra classroom in the sky, if we ever meet again, I will give her a big old hug and think that we will laugh our skinny butts off.
When I was obese, the only shaming/judgement came from me. No one ever made me feel like I was worthless. The funny thing is that since I've lost weight I've had more negative comments from people around me. Like my MIL telling me I'm so skinny, with *that* tone...and my mom going on and on about how I won't look healthy if I lose any more weight (which I'm not planning on, but still...should be my decision).
Carolyn - 37
Wife to Chad - 39
Mom to Tom - 15
Nathan - 10
Just to clarify, i have no feelings on the number 0. That is my point. Any feelings that an individual may project ONTO the number zero would be replaced with another loathed or resented number if clothing manufacturers removed the dread pirate 0 from shelves in lieu of another starting place.
We had a teacher like that as well, her name was Mrs. Bell. She was God Awful. She used to take prayer requests then be praying 2 minutes later and have LOST her prayer request book. So she would be walking around in the middle in her prayer in a panic trying to find her book while interjecting all of these ahhh, annnnnnnd, oh Father.....ummmmm.......shuffling around papers while we all tried to stifle giggles, which of course makes one have to laugh harder. Then she would get angry at the entire class for laughing at her. It wouldn't be that funny if it only happened once or twice...but it happened once or twice a week with her. Scary.