Finding things out on Facebook.
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  1. #1
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    Default Finding things out on Facebook.

    Would it bother you to read something important on Facebook? For example, last year when DH's cousin (2) died, everyone including close family read it on Facebook. Same with my cousin. When her young baby died from SIDS everyone including close family read it on Facebook.

    I am torn about this. If something that devastating happened to me, I would not want to call each and every person I knew and tell them something tragic. On the other hand, this is not how I would want to learn about something serous.

    What about less serious things? I saw someone (distant relative) complaining recently about finding out their sibling was in the hospital is seriously sick, and she had to read it on FB. Other people responded they were thankful they found out at all.

    ~Bonita~

  2. #2
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    I don't like to share important info on FB until I know that everyone who is in the "inner circle" for information is aware. For example, if a family member passes, I'm not running to FB to tell people until I know other family members have been notified.

    As a person who gets info that I want to know but have no business being a first point of contact so to speak I'm glad we have FB as an avenue to share important news.

  3. #3
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    I think as long as it isn't immediate family it is fine. They should be contacted first before anything is posted. We have our own family message board that is private that we share things that we don't want on FB, but otherwise it is a great way to keep in touch. Most of my cousins don't live close so I love being able to find out what goes on in their lives, births and deaths included. Before everyone got on FB if one of my cousins died or was sick or had a baby I wouldn't hear about it for days, weeks or even months by the time word got passed around, now I hear about things immediately. In fact just recently one of my Aunts fell and broke her hip and it probably would have been weeks before I would have found out if not for FB. It is also a great way for people to express sympathy and encouragement. Recently my friend's DH died of cancer and though we were all expecting it, when it happened her FB wall was filled with everyone posting little notes and poems and encouragement.
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    I am not a fan of facebook or other social media. I tried it out, but it is jist weird putting information out there. It is like everyone is their own papparazi and PR firm lol. To me, the people who should know about whatever will know and the rest don't need to know. So based on this opinion, I personally think fb etc has no role on my life. My kids are little so they don't need to be messing around in it. My family have pics of my kids. I dont have to broadcast our every mood and movement to the world. Ir is just weird to me. But I know others like sharing diseases and emotions lol on fb. And some just share pics and light talk So for lots of people there is some role.

    But again if I was a part of a person's life I would know about xyz.
    Aisha

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    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    I agree with Gloria that it's okay to find things out that way, if it's not your immediate family. I have a biiiiig family that all live in another state, so if I didn't find about stuff on FB, I probably wouldn't hear for weeks, if at all. However, if I have big news (and if it is MY news to share - Bonita I know where this debate comes from ) I make sure to tell all of my immediate family and close friends before I put it on FB. I don't want people who are in my inner circle to get news from FB, I want to have a chance to tell them myself before everyone else knows.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  6. #6
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    I agree with Gloria that it's okay to find things out that way, if it's not your immediate family. I have a biiiiig family that all live in another state, so if I didn't find about stuff on FB, I probably wouldn't hear for weeks, if at all. However, if I have big news (and if it is MY news to share - Bonita I know where this debate comes from ) I make sure to tell all of my immediate family and close friends before I put it on FB. I don't want people who are in my inner circle to get news from FB, I want to have a chance to tell them myself before everyone else knows.
    We have kind of an unwritten rule that if you find out some news you aren't allowed to mention it on FB until that person posts the news first. For instance when my son told me they were having a baby I wasn't allowed to brag about being a grandma on FB until they posted they were pregnant. And today when I found out they are having another girl I had to wait until they posted first and then I am allowed to share the news.
    Mom to Lee, Jake, Brandon, Rocco
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    Congratulations on your new granddaughter Gloria!
    AlyssaEimers, mom2robbie and ftmom like this.

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    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Just like Gloria said.

    One of my best friend's dad died last year and I was one of the first ones called; we were told explicitly not to say anything on facebook because they have a very close-knit extended family (who keep in touch better than some of my immediate family does!), but the phone calls take forever. One of her younger cousins posted a picture of the sunrise and said "Goodbye Uncle *" and though it wasn't my place, I pmed her to ask her to take it down until they were done with the phone calls. She was old enough to know better.

    Some things are OK for facebook, some require a phone call.

  9. #9
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    Alissa - you crack me up.

    I think FB is great. When Caitlyn was in the NICU it was a huge blessing to tell everyone all at once all of the updates without having to contact each individual person. I do think serious things should be told to imitate family in person though.

    ~Bonita~

  10. #10
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    When my mom died I waited until all the family knew before posting it on facebook. I was a little pissed off at my sister that she felt that I needed to be told not to post it. My sister is 14 years older then me and still treats me like I am a baby - she forgets that I am an adult. Funny thing is that it was one of her boys that posted it in facebook before I did.

    Also, I only posted it on facebook due to me travelling 4000 km and there were people I wanted to see and second as people kept asking me about funeral arrangements, it was just easier to post the info.
    Margaret (44)
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    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

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