Fluff and Also Personal! Is "Cross Your Fingers" Offensive?
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
Like Tree3Likes

Thread: Fluff and Also Personal! Is "Cross Your Fingers" Offensive?

  1. #1
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Debating Away on the Debate Board!
    Posts
    11,771

    Default Fluff and Also Personal! Is "Cross Your Fingers" Offensive?

    Of course, it's hard to read tone over email. However, I get the feeling that I somehow offended a relative of mine by them to "keep their fingers crossed" for us in a cheery email about selling our house. They replied that they do not cross their fingers, they pray. I found it odd to point this out, unless they were offended by my asking for crossed fingers instead of prayers (I don't typically ask for prayers, which they know, and to me "keep your fingers crossed" is just an expression that means "wish us good luck" not an actual request for crossed fingers.)

    I don't know if this is even a debate so much as a question to my religious friends - is asking for crossed fingers instead of prayers offensive? Or, as I'm leaning towards, were they just sniping at me for not being religious myself (this happens a lot in my family.)
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

    Got an opinion? We've got a board! Come join us for some lively debate on the Face Off! Debate Arena board.

  2. #2
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    20,132

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    Of course, it's hard to read tone over email. However, I get the feeling that I somehow offended a relative of mine by them to "keep their fingers crossed" for us in a cheery email about selling our house. They replied that they do not cross their fingers, they pray. I found it odd to point this out, unless they were offended by my asking for crossed fingers instead of prayers (I don't typically ask for prayers, which they know, and to me "keep your fingers crossed" is just an expression that means "wish us good luck" not an actual request for crossed fingers.)

    I don't know if this is even a debate so much as a question to my religious friends - is asking for crossed fingers instead of prayers offensive? Or, as I'm leaning towards, were they just sniping at me for not being religious myself (this happens a lot in my family.)
    Interesting. Doesn't offend me at all. Like you, i think its just a phrase to mean 'wish us luck'. I don't think its meant to be taken in any sort of literal sense, in which we actually expect people to cross their fingers in hopes that it, by magical powers, creates good fortune for others.

    People use superstitious phrases like that very lightheartedly these days...i would see no sense in taking so seriously as to have to respond "Actually...i don't cross my fingers, i pray" LOL
    Last edited by KimPossible; 07-10-2013 at 05:52 PM.

  3. #3
    Posting Addict SID081108's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,237

    Default

    Um, not at all offensive and that type of reply would annoy the hell out of me (as someone who prays). It's a perfectly normal message, just like saying "send good thoughts my way" or "wish us good luck", as you said. It would be one thing for the relative to reply something like "hoping the best and praying you sell quickly!" or something like that, but the way it was worded, or to be offended by it in any way, is crazy to me. It's just hyper-sensitivity, or maybe trying to make a statement that they think will make you interested in their religious perspective when in reality, it's just a bigger turn-off.
    CARRIE and DH 7/14/07
    SOPHIA 8/11/08
    LAYLA 3/24/11


  4. #4
    Community Host
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    13,553

    Default

    That is something I would say/have said many times even though I believe strongly in prayer. If I were to say that to my mother she might correct me and say I would rather pray, but it would not offend her and she would not be rude about it. Or others might say "I do not believe in luck but I will pray for you."

    Me personally I would not think it was rude though to point out that you do not believe in crossing your fingers if it was said in a polite way. Sort of like if I asked you to pray for me, you might nicely say "I do not pray, but I sure will be thinking of you".

    ~Bonita~

  5. #5
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    20,132

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Me personally I would not think it was rude though to point out that you do not believe in crossing your fingers if it was said in a polite way. Sort of like if I asked you to pray for me, you might nicely say "I do not pray, but I sure will be thinking of you".
    Yeah but if someone were to ask someone to pray....i would think they literally were asking me to pray, which is kind of different. Because then you really can't do what they are asking if thats not something you believe in.

    But when someone asks you to cross your fingers...they aren't literally asking you to cross your fingers. So you don't have to really inform them that its not 'something you do'

    I think it would have been a lot more normal for the person to just respond "I'll say a little pray for you!"

    Its no biggy.. Alissa's story is just a weird way to respond
    SID081108 likes this.
    Emma 08/31/01
    Aodhan 07/24/03
    Lillian 03/04/05
    Nathalie 07/01/07
    Cecilia Marie 1/10/10


    Photo By Anne Schmidt Photography

  6. #6
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    20,132

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Me personally I would not think it was rude though to point out that you do not believe in crossing your fingers if it was said in a polite way. Sort of like if I asked you to pray for me, you might nicely say "I do not pray, but I sure will be thinking of you".
    Yeah but if someone were to ask someone to pray....i would think they literally were asking them to pray, which is kind of different. Because then you really can't do what they are asking if thats not something you believe in.

    But when someone asks you to cross your fingers...they aren't literally asking you to cross your fingers. So you don't have to really inform them that its not 'something you do'

    I think it would have been a lot more normal for the person to just respond "I'll say a little prayer for you!"

    Its no biggy.. Alissa's story is just a weird way to respond
    Last edited by KimPossible; 07-10-2013 at 06:00 PM.
    Emma 08/31/01
    Aodhan 07/24/03
    Lillian 03/04/05
    Nathalie 07/01/07
    Cecilia Marie 1/10/10


    Photo By Anne Schmidt Photography

  7. #7
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Debating Away on the Debate Board!
    Posts
    11,771

    Default

    Yeah, if they had just responded "I will be praying for you" I would not have thought anything of it. (Just like when people ask me to pray for them, I never say "I don't pray." I just say "You will be in my thoughts" or something like that. Because I'm not trying to make a big point over something innocent.) LOL My family.....SMH
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

    Got an opinion? We've got a board! Come join us for some lively debate on the Face Off! Debate Arena board.

  8. #8
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Debating Away on the Debate Board!
    Posts
    11,771

    Default

    Son of gun! I keep accidentally locking threads! Sorry!
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

    Got an opinion? We've got a board! Come join us for some lively debate on the Face Off! Debate Arena board.

  9. #9
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    My avatar is the tai chi -- a symbol of the eternal cycle of life
    Posts
    16,500

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    Or, as I'm leaning towards, were they just sniping at me for not being religious myself (this happens a lot in my family.)
    This. I get it, too. I'll say something like that, or, "Keep good thoughts for us," and inevitably at least one person will reply, "I will pray for you instead." I know that's what you will do, but I'm not going to *ask* for it, kwim?

    ETA: And sometimes when I'm feeling snarky, it's hard to resist the urge to reply to that with something like, "Please sacrifice a chicken instead because it has a better chance of working," or simply, "Don't bother."
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

  10. #10
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    7,600

    Default

    Very strange. I have never heard of a religious person objecting to that saying. I agree it is just like saying good luck or break a leg.

    When we were kids we used to have a saying that we would say to verify we were telling the truth.

    Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye
    Last edited by GloriaInTX; 07-10-2013 at 07:04 PM.
    Mom to Lee, Jake, Brandon, Rocco
    Stepmom to Ryan, Regan, Braden, Baley
    Granddaughters Kylie 10/18/2010 & Aleya 4/22/2013


    I never consider a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosopy, as a cause for withdrawing from a friend. --Thomas Jefferson

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions