Fluff - If a Woman Buys Her Own Engagement Ring... - Page 2
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Thread: Fluff - If a Woman Buys Her Own Engagement Ring...

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    I see engagement rings as an outdated, paternalistic, patriarchal tradition. I didn't need a symbol to show the world that I was off the market and I didn't need my guy to prove how much he loved me by how big a rock he could put on my finger. If an engagement ring is what you want to do, I'm OK with it because it's your life & I love looking at bling as much as anyone else. But IMHO if your guy needs your financial help to get the ring of your dreams, then maybe you should be getting something smaller, or maybe a faux rock instead of real, and start your married life on a good financial footing instead of having years of payments or no savings.

    For our wedding, if it had happened, we were each going to walk in with our parents, DH first, and then me. And I cringe every time I hear the "who gives this woman" thing. I can't believe anyone still does that. The only person who can give a woman to her marriage is herself.
    I have to say I mostly agree with this. We had a non-traditional wedding outside and there was no aisle or walking, so that was a non-issue. But giving someone away feels super weird to me.

    And I agree that if you're paying for a ring that's a big financial strain, you might be better off re-thinking your priorities. Does it have to be expensive? If you really love the idea of an engagement ring, can't it be just as special without being a financial burden to either one of you? I'm not particularly into jewelry so I know that's easy for me to say...I actually prefer fun costume jewelry and sentimental hand-me-downs. So it's also personal taste.

    For me personally, it's an outdated tradition I didn't relate to even when I was a little girl. For others, if they love it or find it romantic, go enjoy. But if it's something that's going to compromise your finances or stop you from having a great honeymoon or a home, then maybe it's time to reconsider.

    So if a woman shares the cost, that doesn't make her any less engaged in my book, but it makes both of them a little more foolish.
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  2. #12
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    To me it is still a gift. I don't like the idea of financially contributing to my own gift.

    I don't think it is an out-dated tradition. I have a wedding band that belonged to my great-great-great grandmother on my mother's side. It is just a simple silver band. My grandmother's set was platinum; my mother's white gold. My sister's set is a family heirloom from his side of the family. Wedding ring styles change over time so rings can also reflect the times. Wedding rings, more than any other jewelry, can tell so much about a couple. It's that one thing that is passed down from generation to generation and tells a story of all the women who wore it before.

    When my daughter gets a little older I will give her the ring her dad proposed to me with. It's a very simple 22KT gold band that he bought in Qatar when he was sent there for 30 days. I could pass down my entire jewelry collection to her but it's that wedding band that will mean the most.
    Last edited by ethanwinfield; 10-02-2013 at 08:43 PM.
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  3. #13
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    A wedding ring is different from an engagement ring, to me.

    Wedding bands are worn by both people, and often are simple bands. An engagement ring is just for the woman, and usually features some sort of expensive stone.
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  4. #14
    Posting Addict ange84's Avatar
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    I think it is weird to buy your own engagement ring, it is a gift and a promise of marriage, not sure how buying your own fulfills more than a gift to yourself. Mine was a surprise, kind off (the jeweler slipped up and asked if I wanted to see my ring when I dropped off some stones for him hubby had cut) and was more than a ring for me. Then again i had the traditional wedding as well where my Dad gave me away and I believe that is a sweet tradition and this is from someone who has a poor relationship with her Dad.
    Wendy




  5. #15
    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    I might just HAVE to buy my own! *sighs*

    lol.

    xx
    Me - Kristi, 30
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  6. #16
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minx_Kristi View Post
    I might just HAVE to buy my own! *sighs*

    lol.

    xx
    I proposed to Sean. Later I gave him a candy ring LOL
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  7. #17
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    I didn't propose but I did go get a calendar and tell him to pick a wedding day. We had already talked about getting married because some things had happened to make us realize we wanted to make our relationship legal, but whenever the conversation turned to, do we elope or have family, when do we want to do it, etc. he'd clam up. So one night after another go-round over it, I accused him of not wanting to get married at all and lying to me about how commited he was, and when he said he really did want to marry me, I said , then pick a day right now. And he did.
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

  8. #18
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    I proposed!

    We'd already talked about it and agreed it was something we both ultimately wanted, but one day we were sitting in this gorgeous park looking out over the water and I proposed. We got married in that same park.
    Laurie, mom to:
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  9. #19
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    I love that story, Laurie.

    And very shallowly, I do not care if my engagement ring is an outdated custom from the patriarchy, I love it.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  10. #20
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    I also think that if an engagement ring makes everybody happy, then by all means, go get one!
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 11 ) and Juliet ( 7 )




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