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  1. #11
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    By a non physical relationship, I mean non physical in any way such as best friends that have crushes on each other.

    ~Bonita~

  2. #12
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    See what I was referring to is that I have a 14 year old (we'll say daughter because that's what I have . Daughter comes home and says "meet Mike, he's 18, he's my boyfriend". Either I say then and there that I think the age difference is a bit much (which I agree with..14/18 is a big span of maturity) but I certainly shouldn't say "oh okay honey" ignore it for however long and then when I find out they are having sex decide then he should be charged with rape. That's where this law is gray for me. I do believe a 14 can understand getting into a sexual relationship. It's a tough line for sure though. If I truly thought it was forced or against her will I would charge anyone with rape on that end.
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

  3. #13
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    Any 18 year old in a sexual relationship with a 14 year old is taking a huge gamble that the parents will not turn them in. Even if at one point the parents act ok with it then later change their mind.

    ~Bonita~

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    Oh I completely agree. But as a parent, I don't agree with turning in an 18 year old only because I found out that a known relationship turned physical.

    But again, I would not condone my 14 year old dating an 18 year old. I don't think that she would be ready for that. 3 years is my max and then it would depend on the how the other person was.
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

  5. #15
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
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    I think that when the parents asked this girl to stay away and she defied them she had this coming.
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    Prolific Poster bunnyfufu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    Oh I completely agree. But as a parent, I don't agree with turning in an 18 year old only because I found out that a known relationship turned physical.

    But again, I would not condone my 14 year old dating an 18 year old. I don't think that she would be ready for that. 3 years is my max and then it would depend on the how the other person was.


    I agree with you and I think that she really does kinda have it coming.

    I think that it is really sad that 17 and 364 days makes it ok to be with a 14 yr old and 17 and 365 makes it a crime that is punishable by 20 years in jail. That is a tough idea to swallow.

    But, I also am fine with there being laws. I think that the laws are clear and that anyone who skirts closely to them is foolish. It's sad. I feel for this young gal, but if she is an adult, she's an adult.
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  7. #17
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    I would not be happy if my 14yo of either gender was in a physical relationship with an 18yo of either gender. I don't think 14yos should be dating to begin with, and I'd probably chain her to her bed before I'd let her continue dating *anyone* that much older. But I'll be honest and say that I wouldn't let my minor child be alone with someone of the opposite sex and that's because I don't want grandbabies too early, but I'm not sure I'd draw quite as clear a line in the sand for a same-sex friend. I mean, I had wonderful girlfriends in my teen years, we slept over, we shared beds, but there was nothing "going on" kwim but how would my parents know if there was, unless I told them? That's what I don't get about this, if it was a consensual relationship, how did the parents know that it was sexual and not just two really good friends having a good time? So there seems to be a HUGE back story in this case that is still missing. And, I think, a lot of room for a good defense lawyer to poke some holes. That said, I'm not upset by her being treated the same way a man in the same circumstances would be treated. Her parents should have warned her about the dangers of her behavior, too.
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    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    I would not be happy if my 14yo of either gender was in a physical relationship with an 18yo of either gender. I don't think 14yos should be dating to begin with, and I'd probably chain her to her bed before I'd let her continue dating *anyone* that much older. But I'll be honest and say that I wouldn't let my minor child be alone with someone of the opposite sex and that's because I don't want grandbabies too early, but I'm not sure I'd draw quite as clear a line in the sand for a same-sex friend. I mean, I had wonderful girlfriends in my teen years, we slept over, we shared beds, but there was nothing "going on" kwim but how would my parents know if there was, unless I told them? That's what I don't get about this, if it was a consensual relationship, how did the parents know that it was sexual and not just two really good friends having a good time? So there seems to be a HUGE back story in this case that is still missing. And, I think, a lot of room for a good defense lawyer to poke some holes. That said, I'm not upset by her being treated the same way a man in the same circumstances would be treated. Her parents should have warned her about the dangers of her behavior, too.
    Not being familiar with this particular back story I can only say what I am familiar with. SIL recently came out as gay. She posts pictures on FB of her kissing on the lips with her girlfriend and posts statuses about her relationship all the time. If something similar was happening, there would be no denying the relationship.

    ~Bonita~

  9. #19
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Yeah, I guess if one of the girls were posting pics of themselves kissing then that would do it. I keep forgetting just how much smart phones with cameras and sites like Facebook & Twitter have permeated our society. I don't think my family ever saw me kissing anyone or even holding hands with anyone until after I'd moved out. Or maybe I'm just not a PDA type of person? The first time I ever saw my sister kiss her husband was at their wedding!
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

  10. #20
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    The laws apply so i think since the charges have been brought up there isn't much they can do. They should take the bargain that was offerred to them IMO. Did I understand it correctly that if she took the bargain that she would not have a permanent record? I wasn't entirely sure.

    Anyway, i really think its terrible that the parents dealt with it in this way. They warned the girl I guess? But they never chose to talk to her parents? I think thats a shame. I don't think this relatoinship is going to have some sort of traumatizing lasting effects on the 14 YO (at least how it was presented in the media)...to purue such strong charges doesn't seem to be in the spirit of the law to me, but simply vindictive or revengeful, possibly the parents inappropriately dealing with their daughter's homosexuality or mistakenly blaming the older girl for making their daughter gay. Thats all just speculation, but if its that type of thing that did cause the 14YO's parents to deal with this in this way, its totally objectionable to me. Suppose we'll never know for sure, but I would think those closer to the situation might have a pretty good idea if thats the case or not.

    Can't object to the law and its consequences, but i can personally object to someone's choice to exercise the law.
    Last edited by KimPossible; 06-04-2013 at 08:51 AM.
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