"Free Kate"

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"Free Kate"

An 18 year old girl has been charged with statutory rape for having sex with a 14 year old girl. The parents of the 14 year old girl warned the 18 year old several times to stay away before she was arrested because she didn't comply. Now the parents of the 18 year old have started a "Free Kate" social media campaign to get the charges dropped. Should she be treated differently because it is a lesbian relationship? Do you think if she had been an 18 year old boy the parents would have reacted differently? Or do you think that as her parents believe she was singled out because it was a lesbian relationship?

Kaitlyn Hunt: Teen arrested, expelled for alleged same-sex relationship
Kaitlyn Hunt Update: Fla. teen charged over same-sex underage relationship speaks out - Crimesider - CBS News

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I've been following this story somewhat. I (so far) haven't seen any evidence that she is being treated differently than a boy would be in her position. I have heard and read many similar stories with opposite sex couples.

I think it is truly sad for this 18-year-olds life to be ruined forever over a consensual relationship. I kind of agree with Kaitlyn's mom that the situation should have been handled between the parents, outside of court.

In general, I struggle with this law a little. I understand the intent, I guess, but it is just crazy to me that if an 18 year old and 16 year old (for example) are dating, the 18 year old can be charged with a felony and labeled a sex offender.

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I don't think she is being treated differently for being a lesbian, but maybe for being a girl. I don't think there would be a "Free Kevin" campaign.

I do think that this should have been handled by the parents, but it wasn't and it is the law and she was informed of the law.

I wouldn't want my 14 year old dating a 18 year old in any capacity, straight or gay. I think that is an inappropriate age gap at those ages. With that said, I do think the laws can tend to be very harsh when it was a consensual relationship. I think that needs to be considered in judgement.

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I agree in that I would not want my 14 year old to date an 18 year old regardless of the gender. Legally, I think she is being treated the same as if it was a heterosexual couple as I think it should be. It being a same sex couple is getting it more media attention, but in my opinion, the laws for statutory rape should apply for both same sex and straight couples. As for a felony for a consensual relationship, I am not sure if a lasting record is best but I do think there should be consequences. There are good reasons why it is against the law for an adult to have sex with a child.

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She should absolutely be treated the same as a man would have. 18 to 14 is way to big of an age gap.

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I agree she should be treated the same.

I have trouble with these laws though. I haven't read too much on this case but a lot of times I find that parents only ask for this to be prosecuted, not because of age differences, but because of other undesired factors like same sex relationships, relationships that become sexual etc.

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"Jessica80" wrote:

relationships that become sexual etc.

Just to clarify, but isn't that the point? I would think most parents turn someone in for Statutory rape because the relationship became sexual. (I have a headache, and might be misunderstanding what you said)

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What I meant by that is that I have read of many parents and guardians who were fine with the dating relationship but 6 months or so down the road when they find out that their teen is having sex with partner then they become irate and they backlash into filing a rape charge.

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"Jessica80" wrote:

What I meant by that is that I have read of many parents and guardians who were fine with the dating relationship but 6 months or so down the road when they find out that their teen is having sex with partner then they become irate and they backlash into filing a rape charge.

I might be ok with my 14 year old having a non physical relationship with an 18 year old. I do not think that is against the law. What is against the law is when it does become physical.

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Either I'm okay with my 14 year old being in a relationship with an 18 year old or I'm not. My thought is that there is a likelihood that they will have a sexual relationship at some point and I'm either okay with that or I'm not. (I'm not saying that I'm going to be happy my 14 year old is having sex but I mean I wouldn't pursue legal action if I already was okay with their dating relationship)

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By a non physical relationship, I mean non physical in any way such as best friends that have crushes on each other.

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See what I was referring to is that I have a 14 year old (we'll say daughter because that's what I have :). Daughter comes home and says "meet Mike, he's 18, he's my boyfriend". Either I say then and there that I think the age difference is a bit much (which I agree with..14/18 is a big span of maturity) but I certainly shouldn't say "oh okay honey" ignore it for however long and then when I find out they are having sex decide then he should be charged with rape. That's where this law is gray for me. I do believe a 14 can understand getting into a sexual relationship. It's a tough line for sure though. If I truly thought it was forced or against her will I would charge anyone with rape on that end.

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Any 18 year old in a sexual relationship with a 14 year old is taking a huge gamble that the parents will not turn them in. Even if at one point the parents act ok with it then later change their mind.

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Oh I completely agree. But as a parent, I don't agree with turning in an 18 year old only because I found out that a known relationship turned physical.

But again, I would not condone my 14 year old dating an 18 year old. I don't think that she would be ready for that. 3 years is my max and then it would depend on the how the other person was.

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I think that when the parents asked this girl to stay away and she defied them she had this coming.

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"Jessica80" wrote:

Oh I completely agree. But as a parent, I don't agree with turning in an 18 year old only because I found out that a known relationship turned physical.

But again, I would not condone my 14 year old dating an 18 year old. I don't think that she would be ready for that. 3 years is my max and then it would depend on the how the other person was.

I agree with you and I think that she really does kinda have it coming.

I think that it is really sad that 17 and 364 days makes it ok to be with a 14 yr old and 17 and 365 makes it a crime that is punishable by 20 years in jail. That is a tough idea to swallow.

But, I also am fine with there being laws. I think that the laws are clear and that anyone who skirts closely to them is foolish. It's sad. I feel for this young gal, but if she is an adult, she's an adult.

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I would not be happy if my 14yo of either gender was in a physical relationship with an 18yo of either gender. I don't think 14yos should be dating to begin with, and I'd probably chain her to her bed before I'd let her continue dating *anyone* that much older. But I'll be honest and say that I wouldn't let my minor child be alone with someone of the opposite sex and that's because I don't want grandbabies too early, but I'm not sure I'd draw quite as clear a line in the sand for a same-sex friend. I mean, I had wonderful girlfriends in my teen years, we slept over, we shared beds, but there was nothing "going on" kwim but how would my parents know if there was, unless I told them? That's what I don't get about this, if it was a consensual relationship, how did the parents know that it was sexual and not just two really good friends having a good time? So there seems to be a HUGE back story in this case that is still missing. And, I think, a lot of room for a good defense lawyer to poke some holes. That said, I'm not upset by her being treated the same way a man in the same circumstances would be treated. Her parents should have warned her about the dangers of her behavior, too.

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"Spacers" wrote:

I would not be happy if my 14yo of either gender was in a physical relationship with an 18yo of either gender. I don't think 14yos should be dating to begin with, and I'd probably chain her to her bed before I'd let her continue dating *anyone* that much older. But I'll be honest and say that I wouldn't let my minor child be alone with someone of the opposite sex and that's because I don't want grandbabies too early, but I'm not sure I'd draw quite as clear a line in the sand for a same-sex friend. I mean, I had wonderful girlfriends in my teen years, we slept over, we shared beds, but there was nothing "going on" kwim but how would my parents know if there was, unless I told them? That's what I don't get about this, if it was a consensual relationship, how did the parents know that it was sexual and not just two really good friends having a good time? So there seems to be a HUGE back story in this case that is still missing. And, I think, a lot of room for a good defense lawyer to poke some holes. That said, I'm not upset by her being treated the same way a man in the same circumstances would be treated. Her parents should have warned her about the dangers of her behavior, too.

Not being familiar with this particular back story I can only say what I am familiar with. SIL recently came out as gay. She posts pictures on FB of her kissing on the lips with her girlfriend and posts statuses about her relationship all the time. If something similar was happening, there would be no denying the relationship.

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Yeah, I guess if one of the girls were posting pics of themselves kissing then that would do it. I keep forgetting just how much smart phones with cameras and sites like Facebook & Twitter have permeated our society. I don't think my family ever saw me kissing anyone or even holding hands with anyone until after I'd moved out. Or maybe I'm just not a PDA type of person? The first time I ever saw my sister kiss her husband was at their wedding!

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The laws apply so i think since the charges have been brought up there isn't much they can do. They should take the bargain that was offerred to them IMO. Did I understand it correctly that if she took the bargain that she would not have a permanent record? I wasn't entirely sure.

Anyway, i really think its terrible that the parents dealt with it in this way. They warned the girl I guess? But they never chose to talk to her parents? I think thats a shame. I don't think this relatoinship is going to have some sort of traumatizing lasting effects on the 14 YO (at least how it was presented in the media)...to purue such strong charges doesn't seem to be in the spirit of the law to me, but simply vindictive or revengeful, possibly the parents inappropriately dealing with their daughter's homosexuality or mistakenly blaming the older girl for making their daughter gay. Thats all just speculation, but if its that type of thing that did cause the 14YO's parents to deal with this in this way, its totally objectionable to me. Suppose we'll never know for sure, but I would think those closer to the situation might have a pretty good idea if thats the case or not.

Can't object to the law and its consequences, but i can personally object to someone's choice to exercise the law.

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It says they warned her twice and only went to the police after their daughter ran away to be with her.

The Smiths say they were shocked to find out from another parent that their daughter, a high school freshman, was dating Kaitlyn, a senior. Mrs. Smith claims she warned Hunt to stay away from her daughter twice before going to the police. Since Kate Hunt was 18, she was legally considered an adult involved with a minor and now faces felony charges, possible jail time and the potential of being labeled a “sex offender for life.”

The Smiths say their daughter was acting out and even ran away from home in the middle of the night to be with Kaitlyn after they forbid the girls from dating. “We had no choice, but to go to the police,” they told News Channel 12 on Thursday.

Free Kate update: Kaitlyn Hunt's younger girlfriend's parents address media - West Palm Beach Top News | Examiner.com

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I'm also wondering why Kate's parents were so nonchalant about the relationship? Why weren't they concerned about their daughter dating someone so much younger? Why didn't they warn her that there might be legal ramifications?

I see that she rejected the plea deal and is going to take her chances with the court system.

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"Spacers" wrote:

I'm also wondering why Kate's parents were so nonchalant about the relationship? Why weren't they concerned about their daughter dating someone so much younger? Why didn't they warn her that there might be legal ramifications?

I see that she rejected the plea deal and is going to take her chances with the court system.

And why didn't they think it was strange that she went and picked her up in the middle of the night and brought her to their house? You would think that would set off a few red flags.

The Smiths are portrayed by the Hunt Family as going to the law first.

"It's not the way it was. It was quite different. We had actually told Miss Hunt that this was wrong," Laurie told CBS12's Jana Eschbach.

But, according to the Smiths Kate was warned, not once, but twice to stop.

"Another adult, a mother, came to me and said 'Ms. Smith you need to know this...we told Miss Hunt to leave your daughter alone. But they are in a relationship, and she's 18.' 18? My daughter is only 14," Laure said.

Their 14-year-old began to act out, and one weekend morning they opened her door and she was gone.

"It's the worst thing that I've ever experienced," Jim said. "Somebody took her is what we thought. Because her running away is the furthest thing from my mind. You hear kids getting abducted out of your home. That was heart-wrenching."

Reported missing, and found safe, the Smiths found out she was with Kate, who picked her up even though she had been told to stay away.

"Didn't stop, then we didn't have an alternative but to turn to the law, use it as a last resort," said Jim.

WPEC-TV CBS12 News :: News - Top Stories - EXCLUSIVE: Parents of underage victim in Kate Hunt's case defend actions

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"GloriaInTX" wrote:

It says they warned her twice and only went to the police after their daughter ran away to be with her.

Free Kate update: Kaitlyn Hunt's younger girlfriend's parents address media - West Palm Beach Top News | Examiner.com

Right. I don't understand why the 14yo's parents didn't try to contact kate's parents. That seems like a logical step that they didn't even try

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That article makes it sound like someone else besides the Smiths had been the one to warn Kate Hunt at least one of those times. I don't think that should "count" in the same way as the victim's parents saying, "Stop seeing our daughter," counts, kwim?

Also, I saw a blip on the evening news about this and it seems Kate's lawyer is denying that there was any sexual conduct between the two. She said they did nothing beyond "dating," and that "dating conduct" is perfectly legal behavior. I'm not sure picking up your girlfriend in the middle of the night is considered dating conduct but I don't think it qualifies as lewd & lascivious behavior.

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"Spacers" wrote:

That article makes it sound like someone else besides the Smiths had been the one to warn Kate Hunt at least one of those times. I don't think that should "count" in the same way as the victim's parents saying, "Stop seeing our daughter," counts, kwim?

Also, I saw a blip on the evening news about this and it seems Kate's lawyer is denying that there was any sexual conduct between the two. She said they did nothing beyond "dating," and that "dating conduct" is perfectly legal behavior. I'm not sure picking up your girlfriend in the middle of the night is considered dating conduct but I don't think it qualifies as lewd & lascivious behavior.

Not according to the arrest affidavit.

Warning graphic:
Kaitlyn Hunt Redacted Affidavit Redacted

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"GloriaInTX" wrote:

Not according to the arrest affidavit.

Kaitlyn Hunt Redacted Affidavit Redacted

I am such a wimp. I want to unsee that.

I know that kids doink each other, but the specific words of how kids spent their time doinking. . . shudder.

Anyway, she's an adult. I feel badly for everyone involved. I hope she doesn't do excessive jail time but, sheesh. The law is pretty clear. I guess, I don't even see the controversy. They doinked, she is an adult, it's not legal and charges are being pressed.

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What Bunny said. I still think cases like these are not what the law was intended for but she needed to still obey what laws were set forth.

I agree, reading the details was just a bit much for me.

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"KimPossible" wrote:

Right. I don't understand why the 14yo's parents didn't try to contact kate's parents. That seems like a logical step that they didn't even try

Why would they go to Kate's parents when she is an adult. They went to her and said to stay away. When Kate was still 17 sure, go to the parents then but not once she was 18.

I think Kate was stupid for not taking the plea deal.

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"mom2robbie" wrote:

Why would they go to Kate's parents when she is an adult. They went to her and said to stay away. When Kate was still 17 sure, go to the parents then but not once she was 18.

I think Kate was stupid for not taking the plea deal.

Really? 18 and you would all of a sudden decide that talking to the parents is a waste of time. Legally an adult, yes. But the reality of it is that tons of 18 years old are still under a parents wing...lets not pretend thats not true.

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My DH asked a couple of interesting questions: Why would a classmate's parents *not* get parents involved, especially since the other person is a classmate and acting like a child by being in high school and living at home? And since this was happening at school, why did the 14yo's parents not get a counselor or other school official involved? He thinks the answer is because those people would both know that Kate was opening herself to liability and would also be obligated to warn her of the legal ramifications.

He thinks that because the victim's parents did not contact those other people, the people who actually could have prevented the abuse, that Kate has a good chance of getting off because it really appears that the victim's parents weren't so much interested in protecting their daughter as they were in prosecuting Kate. Interesting thought.

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I dont know, Kate picked there daughter up and took her to Kates parents house for the night. Maybe they just assumed the parents knew and condoned the relationship. And this was not 'just' happening at school, not sure that I would think to get those people involved.

It is very interesting to me that the younger girl performed a taped call to Kate for the police, getting Kate to admit what happened. I have a hard time picturing someone in a relationship of equals doing this to their partner. To me this just really shows how young this girl is and how she responds to authority. Makes me wonder how 'equal' this relationship really was.

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I am a little confused as to the problem. If it was a 40 year old man taking a 14 year old girl to his house and sleeping with her, would there be any question that he should be legally punished? Would you first reason with him, and blame yourself for not trying enough things first? Whether it is a 40 year old man, or an 18 year old girl, it is still against the law for an adult to sleep with a minor. The parents were every bit within their rights to press charges.

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"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

I am a little confused as to the problem. If it was a 40 year old man taking a 14 year old girl to his house and sleeping with her, would there be any question that he should be legally punished? Would you first reason with him, and blame yourself for not trying enough things first? Whether it is a 40 year old man, or an 18 year old girl, it is still against the law for an adult to sleep with a minor. The parents were every bit within their rights to press charges.

Are you trying to say the above are equal? Because i would totally disagree, regardless of law. I would most definitely deal with both of those situations in two entirely different ways. And I'm not saying going to the law would not be an option...I'm simply saying I think there could have been effective ways to fix this problem prior to getting the law involved. I would have definitely seen if going to the parents of this high school kid was effective before throwing the law at her. I just can't imagine equating this with a 40 year old taking a 14 year old to their house...at all.

I think this is totally bizarre. You hit the age of 18 and all of a sudden people think its the equivalent of being an older adult who's parents have no influence over them anymore and has no similarities in life at all to the victim.

They simply had to make a cut off somewhere...but seriously, nothing 'magical' happens at that age to you. Why are we ignoring context?

Edited for clarity

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"KimPossible" wrote:

Are you trying to say the above are equal? Because i would totally disagree, regardless of law. I would most definitely deal with both of those situations in two entirely different ways. And I'm not saying going to the law would not be an option...I'm simply saying I think there could have been effective ways to fix this problem prior to getting the law involved. I would have definitely seen if going to the parents of this high school kid was effective before throwing the law at her. I just can't imagine equating this with a 40 year old taking a 14 year old to their house...at all.

I think this is totally bizarre. You hit the age of 18 and all of a sudden people think its the equivalent of being an older adult who's parents have no influence over them anymore and has no similarities in life at all to the victim.

They simply had to make a cut off somewhere...but seriously, nothing 'magical' happens at that age to you. Why are we ignoring context?

Edited for clarity

Legally, there is no difference. They are both against the law. There is no gradual slide. I do not believe if this was an 18 year old man sleeping with a 14 year old girl that the opinions would be the same.

What did you think the parents of the 18 year old were supposed to do? At 18, they are not going to be the ones deciding if and who their child sleeps with. There are so many other things that an 18 year old would be held responsible for. I know in the school DH works at there is a huge difference between a 17 year old getting into a fist fight and an 18 year old getting in a fist fight.

IMO, if an 18 year old is old enough to enlist and go to war, they are also old enough to make their own decisions. They are also old enough to be responsible for those decisions.

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If someone had come to my parents when I was 18 about something that I was doing my parents would have told them to talk to me. While I still lived at home and had rules I was responsible for my actions and the consequences.

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"mom2robbie" wrote:

If someone had come to my parents when I was 18 about something that I was doing my parents would have told them to talk to me. While I still lived at home and had rules I was responsible for my actions and the consequences.

Really??? My parents said adults don't live with their parents, so as long as I'm living in their home, I'm still a child and will follow their rules no matter my age, and they were definitely very involved in what I was doing, whom I was doing it with, and where I was. If someone had said something to them about my behavior when I was 18, they'd have dealt with it no different than when I was 17. And that is what I will be telling my children, too, because ITA with Kim that there is nothing magical about turning 18. But I did move out as soon as I had the chance.

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"ftmom" wrote:

I dont know, Kate picked there daughter up and took her to Kates parents house for the night. Maybe they just assumed the parents knew and condoned the relationship. And this was not 'just' happening at school, not sure that I would think to get those people involved.

It is very interesting to me that the younger girl performed a taped call to Kate for the police, getting Kate to admit what happened. I have a hard time picturing someone in a relationship of equals doing this to their partner. To me this just really shows how young this girl is and how she responds to authority. Makes me wonder how 'equal' this relationship really was.

The girls knew one another because they were on the school basketball team together. I don't care what age the other party is, if someone on my child's school team is behaving in what I think is an inappropriate manner, you can bet I'll be talking with the coach, the school counselor, and perhaps even the principal if I don't get good answers from the first two.

About the phone call, really, as a 14-year-old, are you going to say no to both your parents *and* the police? I just don't see that happening. I didn't say no to my parents very much, mostly because I didn't like getting smacked for it, and I'm not sure I could have mustered the fortitude to say it to them *and* the police, even about something I felt pretty strongly about and perhaps not knowing much about my and my partner's legal rights. So I'm not reading nearly as much into that as you are. And on the flip side, if the relationship *was* between equals, then that's pretty telling about Kate's maturity level.

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"Spacers" wrote:

Really??? My parents said adults don't live with their parents, so as long as I'm living in their home, I'm still a child and will follow their rules no matter my age, and they were definitely very involved in what I was doing, whom I was doing it with, and where I was. If someone had said something to them about my behavior when I was 18, they'd have dealt with it no different than when I was 17. And that is what I will be telling my children, too, because ITA with Kim that there is nothing magical about turning 18. But I did move out as soon as I had the chance.

I was dating DH when I was 18. I can remember him asking about going to TN to look at colleges with my family. She looked at him like he was crazy and said he was 18 he could do what he wanted. (Still in HS and still lived at home) My parents worked second shift and I went to school first shift. I was pretty much responsible for my self at that age. I still had rules (So did DH), but I made a lot of my own decisions.

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Regardless of why the parents did what they did, or whether we agree with how they proceeded this 18 year old girl knew what she was doing was illegal. She chose to do it anyways, now she need to deal with the consequences. I hope she doesnt get off because the jury decides that they dont like way the parents handled it

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Thinking more about this, why does it matter or not if the parents approved? What if it was the 40 year old man and the 14 year old girl? Would it then be ok if the parents of both parties approved? (I know it used to be this way, and can still be this way in other cultures) Abuse is abuse whether or not the parents approve. I believe going to the police was the appropriate course of action.

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I don't think it does matter whether the parents approved or not, and the victim's parents obviously did NOT approve. I don't see where anyone is arguing that point. I really don't think that teenagers fondling one another in a bathroom should be a felony. And I'm not sure I like the idea of prosecuting an 18-year-old who is unemployed, living at home, and attending high school, someone who really does seem to be more a child than an adult, for something that neither set of parents seems to have taken reasonable steps to try to prevent.

If Kate were developmentally disabled, she *would* still be considered a minor child despite her age, and she would not be prosecuted for this, or at least not a felony. Science tells us that *all* teenagers are developmentally far behind where we used to think they are. We're treating people as adults who are clearly still children from a developmental point of view, and that just doesn't make sense.

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"Spacers" wrote:

I don't think it does matter whether the parents approved or not, and the victim's parents obviously did NOT approve. I don't see where anyone is arguing that point. I really don't think that teenagers fondling one another in a bathroom should be a felony. And I'm not sure I like the idea of prosecuting an 18-year-old who is unemployed, living at home, and attending high school, someone who really does seem to be more a child than an adult, for something that neither set of parents seems to have taken reasonable steps to try to prevent.

If Kate were developmentally disabled, she *would* still be considered a minor child despite her age, and she would not be prosecuted for this, or at least not a felony. Science tells us that *all* teenagers are developmentally far behind where we used to think they are. We're treating people as adults who are clearly still children from a developmental point of view, and that just doesn't make sense.

Just trying to get this straight, you think we should treat all 18 year old like they are developmentally delayed?

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Kind of! Blum 3 I'm definitely not sure we should be treating all 18-year-olds like they are adults. Teenagers do not have a fully developed brain; brain development was one of the arguments in setting the age of majority at 18 in the first place, that was thought to be the age when most development had been completed. It's not. The current generation's brains are actually developing at a slower rate than people of prior generations, because we have so much going on in our world that teenagers are trying to process and their brain development can't keep up. Also, even just 100 years ago, people at 18 were expected to be pretty much self-sufficient or at least well on their way to it, and we simply don't expect that of 18-year-olds any more. So we're raising a generation that because of technology is actually less mature than prior generations (and yes, they are delayed developmentally not only from where we used to think teenagers should be, but from where the current generation of 40-somethings were when we were teenagers) but we are still holding them to the same accountability that was set 100 years ago when most women were married at that age and most men were expected to be living on their own.

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"Spacers" wrote:

Kind of! Blum 3 I'm definitely not sure we should be treating all 18-year-olds like they are adults. Teenagers do not have a fully developed brain; brain development was one of the arguments in setting the age of majority at 18 in the first place, that was thought to be the age when most development had been completed. It's not. The current generation's brains are actually developing at a slower rate than people of prior generations, because we have so much going on in our world that teenagers are trying to process and their brain development can't keep up. Also, even just 100 years ago, people at 18 were expected to be pretty much self-sufficient or at least well on their way to it, and we simply don't expect that of 18-year-olds any more. So we're raising a generation that because of technology is actually less mature than prior generations (and yes, they are delayed developmentally not only from where we used to think teenagers should be, but from where the current generation of 40-somethings were when we were teenagers) but we are still holding them to the same accountability that was set 100 years ago when most women were married at that age and most men were expected to be living on their own.

I dont buy into this notion that we should treat them like children or like people with developmental delays. The more we push back the age of accountability the longer people will delay maturing. I actually think we should be expecting more of kids that age. Just read a book call "Do Hard things" with my 13 year old. It was based on the premise that irresponsibility in adolescence is a social construct and not a physiological stage. Totally agree with it. Historically 12 year olds were captains of ships crossing the Atlantic Ocean, now most 12 year olds are not capable of cleaning their room properly.
In the case of this situation in this debate, this girl was not doing this because she is developmentally delayed, she just wanted sex and used a 14 year old to get that.

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"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

Legally, there is no difference. They are both against the law. There is no gradual slide. I do not believe if this was an 18 year old man sleeping with a 14 year old girl that the opinions would be the same.

I understand that legally it is this way. I am not saying anything to the contrary.

Like I already said:

Can't object to the law and its consequences, but i can personally object to someone's choice to exercise the law.

My point is that the laws are in place because of your 40 year old taking a 14 year old to his house. And I get that they have to define an age of adulthood and there is kind of no way around that. I don't think the laws were in place to give high school kids having consenting sexual encounters felony records. Not speaking legally..it is NOT the same as the 40 year old having sexual encounters with a 14YO as much as you are trying to make it sound like it should be. So I simply wish that the 14YOs parents had tried to exhaust all other options before going to the law and I do not believe they did.

What did you think the parents of the 18 year old were supposed to do? At 18, they are not going to be the ones deciding if and who their child sleeps with. There are so many other things that an 18 year old would be held responsible for. I know in the school DH works at there is a huge difference between a 17 year old getting into a fist fight and an 18 year old getting in a fist fight.

The mother in the video even said "I wish they had come to me first" Every senior in high school is different. i actually listened to my parents a lot at that age, even though i had gained a lot of independance. They could have had some serious discussions about this. you know, not all 18 Year olds have this crazy "Screw my parents and waht they say" attitude. A lot of them actually respect eachother and will listen to what their parents have to say. Maybe this 18 year old needed to hear someone else "Hey, what you are doing is really dangerous and can screw you over for the rest of your life...you have to stop this...these parents are going to have the law on their side and you will be the one who suffers the consequences forever" Because this girl is 18...and 18 year olds can be pretty stupid, and they aren't 40 year olds and sometimes they need someone to knock some sense into them.

Are you jsut going to stop parenting when your child is 18? If not...why are you going to bother? You are making it sounds like its useless to parent your 18 year old. 18th birthday comes and *poof* parents are compeltely useless.

LOL i still followed a curfew my senior year of high school.

IMO, if an 18 year old is old enough to enlist and go to war, they are also old enough to make their own decisions. They are also old enough to be responsible for those decisions.

Yet they can still claim them on your health insurance...most still live at home their high school year, can be claimed as dependents for tax purposes. Tons still actually do listen to their parents whether you feel like they should or not. If the law says they are adults because they can go to war...then why aren't you advocating booting them out of the house and behaving like full grow 40 year old adults should? You are taking laws that are made to try to prove your point and are choosing to simply ignore that reality shows time and time again 18 year olds can be very immature, irrational and do stupid things and benefit from proper guidance. If you don't believe the last part of what i said..I think thats really scary.

There is no switch to flip to go from child to adult...it happens gradually. Yes we have to make laws about some things...because you simply have to define an age, there is no way around that, it would be completely impractical to not define any age. Do you honesty believe because we had to make cutoffs for some legal issues that somehow equates to 100% independence and adulthood? Thats really...i don't know, just silly.

I think that its really sad that people think this girl should have the same treatment as a person 3 times that 14 year old girl should have. I think its sad and totally mind-boggling that people think those two are equivalents and sad that they would purposely try to seek that out before exploring all other possibilities.

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"mom2robbie" wrote:

If someone had come to my parents when I was 18 about something that I was doing my parents would have told them to talk to me. While I still lived at home and had rules I was responsible for my actions and the consequences.

You had rules? See, i'm a full grown actual real adult now...and i don't have any rules from my parents to follow.

most 18 year olds are not adults in any sort of real sense. They are somewhere in between.

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"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

I still had rules (So did DH), but I made a lot of my own decisions.

Another one of these strange "100% Full adults" who had parental rules to follow

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"mom3girls" wrote:

I hope she doesnt get off because the jury decides that they dont like way the parents handled it

I don't want a jury to decide that either. Now that the law is involved, i think they have to follow it.

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"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

Thinking more about this, why does it matter or not if the parents approved? What if it was the 40 year old man and the 14 year old girl? Would it then be ok if the parents of both parties approved? (I know it used to be this way, and can still be this way in other cultures) Abuse is abuse whether or not the parents approve. I believe going to the police was the appropriate course of action.

LOL it doesn't matter that the parents approved. Thats what you think i'm saying? That I think the 14YO's parents should have gone to the 18YO's to say "Hey...i was just wondering if you were okay with this...because if you are then thats cool with me then"

Thats not what i'm saying at all.

ETA: And for the record...i don't think they should be treated as a developmentally disabled person. But i do think they should be treated like an 18 year old high school student having sex with another high school student and NOT like a 40 year old having sex with a high school student.

Interesting to think that treating her like one extreme (developmentally disabled) seems so ridiculous...yet going to the other extreme (A 40 year old) doesn't.

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"KimPossible" wrote:

ETA: And for the record...i don't think they should be treated as a developmentally disabled person. But i do think they should be treated like an 18 year old high school student having sex with another high school student and NOT like a 40 year old having sex with a high school student.

But she was treated differently. There is no way a 40 year old would have been offered the plea deal they gave her that she chose not to accept.

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