The funny things your kids say (fluff)

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ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299
The funny things your kids say (fluff)

Let's hear some of the hilarious things your kids have said lately (or not so lately). Our house is an uproarious comedy of the stuff the kids say. It's the stuff you have to memorialize. Smile I will go first: Claire had a friend over this weekend for a sleepover and we painted nails. Her friend says to Claire, while holding up an orange stick "What's this for?" and Claire says "One end is for taking off stickers (which is true - I use the pointy end for removing decals), and the other end is for pushing back your tentacles." ROFL

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1533

Last night at dinner the 3 year old was grumpy. Dh said "He sure is fun tonight" and Carson yelled "I am not fun today"

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

Yesterday before dinner Ben is standing in front of me in the living room and he's got his head tilted to one side and shaking it like he's got water in his ear. I say "Ben, what are you doing?" and he said "I'm shaking out the Scooby Snacks." I almost peed my pants.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

Oh my gosh, thank you for posting this. You spurred my memory, I meant to write this down a few weeks ago!

Weston has trouble with the word yellow, it comes out as Lellow. Which is funny because he can say yell. A few weeks ago I was working with him to pronounce it correctly while we were unloading the dishwasher. Tiven came into the kitchen & told him rather rudely to move out of her way. He said, "Don't yellow at me!" Obviously he meant yell, not yellow, and we all started laughing. Then Tiven said, "Well, you oranged at me first." Weston thought for a minute and said, "You better be quiet or I'll blue you." To which Tiven replied, "I'm going to go green over here," and she left the kitchen. We laughed about that all night. Blum 3

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3183

One of my favorites from Nathaniel was a few years ago. He'd started going to church with Dave so they used to have talks where he'd ask Dave questions. One day he asked why Noah had to bring two of each animal onto the ark. Dave explained that if you want to make MORE of one kind of animal, you need a male and a female.

"I'm sure I don't want to hear the rest of this...." said Nathaniel. And changed the subject.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

Ha ha we have some funny kids. Smile

Today, we took the kids bowling for the first time. We planned to go and swim at my grandma's after so I packed beach balls. I explained about how we bowl and how you send the ball down the lane. Corinne got all quiet and sad and said..."but mom, what if it pops?". Took me a second to realize she thought she had to bowl with her beach ball! She was so happy when we told her that they have different balls to bowl with.

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

I took Leia to the dentist last week and whilst there she needed the toilet (surprise!). The regular toilets were full up so we went into the disabled toilet. She did her business and whilst washing her hands someone tried the door. She panicked and said "pretend you can't walk!!" - I almost died haha.

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

My 2 year old was having a meltdown because I stopped her from jumping on the stairs.

My 5 year old says "Mom's not evil, I promise"

Thank you for the vote of confidence.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

This morning while getting in the van Claire said "Mommy hurry up and turn on the heat. It's cold." and Ben looked at me very seriously and said "Mommy, you will start the van when you're good and ready, because you're the boss of us."

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

One of the funniest had to be when Isaac was about 4 asked his dad " Are you a dustmite?"

Josiah's funniest I think was when he was about 6 said.. "Those snowflakes are humongous they are almost prehistoric."

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 780

I like to put convos that Jace and I have had on facebook, let me look on my timeline:

Okay,

"Jace has advice this morning: Don't throw a taco at an old lady's car or else she will hit you with her purse."

"Me: Jace lets cuddle...
Jace: I forgot to tell you that I cancelled cuddles tonight.
Me: Why?
Jace: I'm playing putt-putt tomorrow and need to save my energy."

"Jace was mad at me this morning...

Jace: Mom, next time when I'm an adult and you're the kid, I'm not taking you anywhere fun."

Just a couple from my timeline Smile

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

Deniz, those are great. Smile

Ben often says to me "Mommy, wouldn't it be funny if there was a car on the roof?" He asks me that all.the.time. I don't know why. I think maybe it's a leftover Christmas thing - like because Santa parks his sleigh on the roof.

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4111

Kylie ran in her room with the cat and her mom went in there and asked "where is Nico?" her response?....I'm cooking him!

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

Ben always says "Mommy, I'm boring" when he means he's bored. Smile And when something on TV makes DH or I change the channel right away because it's not suitable for the kids Ben says "THAT'S inappropriate."

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

Kaiya recently told us that when you die you go somewhere and become a manager.

She meant angel. She got really mad at me when I laughed!

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

Here are a couple for DH's blog of funny things. Kaiya is called Princess Ironman on the blog.

Princess Iron Man is looking intently at the back obus form pillow on mu wheel chair

P.I.: "This looks like a drip or a hootenanny"
Me: "What's a hootenanny?"
Rolls her eyes and sighs
P.I.: " Its a big dance"
Me: "?!?!" , "It looks like a hootenanny??"
P.I.: "YEP!"
Mom intervenes: "P.I. do you just like saying hootenanny?"
P.I.: "Yep"
_______________________________

Dad - Help Princess Ironman Help! The cat is attacking mePrincess Ironman (looking perplexed) - But that's ok.

________________________________

Princess Ironman - Mummy, why is my tongue scratchy? Mummy - What? PI - It has bumps. M - Oh, those are taste buds. They let you taste things. PI - I don't want a bumpy tongue. Take them off. M - But you need them if you are going to be able to taste. PI - But they are spicy! M - What? PI - When I eat salt and pepper they are spicy! I don't like spicy! (She picks up her toothbrush and tries to scrub them off) M - Yes, if you eat spicy things you taste spice. But if you eat sweet things like cupcake your tastebuds taste sweet. PI - Oh. M - You need your taste buds. Please don't try to scrub them off. PI - Ok Mummy.

I can't believe I had to tell her not to scrub her tastebuds off!

_________________________

And a bit of advice from the 4 ear old health expert

Princess IM: Daddy takes good care of me and we have fun. I take good care of Daddy too cause his leg is owie... To get better, Daddy's leg needs to shine.
Mummy: His leg needs to shine?
Princess IM: Yep. It needs pixie dust.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

From my facebook a few months ago:

Yesterday morning Kaiya climbed into bed with me, woke me up, gave me about 10 seconds and....

Mummy, can I change my skin? (Holding out her arm)
What? You want to change your skin?
Yes, I want it to be brown.

So we had a chat about pigment and how much is in her skin. I told her that she would be browner in the summer from a tan but she will never be as brown as Rahel (her Ethiopian doll). She was very disappointed. Then....

Mummy, can we get a baby?
What? No, we can't get a baby. You need a mummy and a daddy for a baby and daddy can't have anymore.
Oh.
Why do you want a baby?
So I can teach it to do tricks!

She could have at least let me wake up first....

Later that day I found her using permanent black marker to colour herself. So yes you can change you skin...with a sharpie. Sigh. She is still annoyed that she is of norther European descent.

We now have a little rough and tumble 2 year old boy living upstairs. She no longer wants a baby.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

ok, one more..

After her bath, Kaiya put a washcloth on her head and put her hands on her hips, stood up tall and said proudly "This is my Action Hair." Her towel became an Action Dress and the bathroom was the Action Room. I don't know what she was pretending, but it seemed pretty cool!

________________

Rob and Kaiya were playing playdough.

Kaiya: look I made a plate of green!
Rob: is it soilent green?
Kaiya: Yes

5 minutes later
Kaiya.: I made soilent pasta, soilent pizza and soilent pancakes...

________________

Kaiya made up a story tonight. Here is an excerpt:

And the bunny asked the sheep, "can you come with me?". And the sheep said "no, I can't. I'm watering the garden with my tongue."

Joined: 05/13/02
Posts: 414

Recently we were walking around the downtown area of our city. There's a new restaurant coming called "Puebla". Matthew, our 11 yr old, said "Oh look...Pube-la is coming soon"!

fuchsiasky's picture
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Posts: 955

Kaiya says she is a bit nervous about kindergarten. She is worried that she will get there and everyone will think she is a rock star.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1533

My son was just going through my bathroom cabinet while was I cleaning the bathroom and he started to open my box of pads, I told him not to play with those that they are for Mommy. He looked at me very serious and said "you will make Daddy so sad if you dont share, I hope you dont make my Daddy sad"

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4111

A friend of mine who is a teacher posted this today:

My best moment today, One of my sweeties in Kindergarten, goes over to the globe, gives it a spin and says " Where is Candy Land on here?" Priceless!

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

Yesterday Conner was taking a test with the speech therapist meant to test his knowledge of grammar. There was two pictures, one of a man at a chalk board, one of him with a guitar and microphone. The therapist would start the sentence and he was supposed to finish it. He was doing really good until they hit this one.

Speach Therapist: `This man teaches, he`s called a Teacher. This man sings he`s called a.......`
Conner: `Rock Star!`

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

The word around our house lately is 'fantastic'. "Ben, how was school?" "FANtastic!!!!". "Ben, let's brush your teeth." "FANtastic!!!!" "Time out, young man". "FANtastic!!!!"

It's time for a new word, I think.

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4111

"ClairesMommy" wrote:

The word around our house lately is 'fantastic'. "Ben, how was school?" "FANtastic!!!!". "Ben, let's brush your teeth." "FANtastic!!!!" "Time out, young man". "FANtastic!!!!"

It's time for a new word, I think.

That reminds me of when my Rocco was about 4 and he would be talking about how a cartoon or something was funny and he would say it was "Hilarious". It would make me laugh every time he said it because it sounded so funny such a big word coming from a little guy Smile

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

I have a small cold sore right now. Brianna my 6 year old just came up to me and asked me if I got the sore from kissing Daddy too much.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3183

Nathaniel and Juliet informed me a while back that we need to have a new baby, a boy, and name him Jack. Then when he's older, then can get in a fruit salad assembly line. One will wash the fruit, one will cut it, and one will put it in the bowl. Jack will be in charge of washing.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

While at the zoo today "Mommy, why is the one snow leopard sitting on the other snow leopard?" Lots more interesting questions followed...

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

While camping this weekend Ben said he had to go potty. This time of year it's outhouse only, so I start walking him down to the outhouse, then he grabs my hand, starts running and says "Mommy, there's no time to waste!"

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

Robbie still calls soy sauce "silly sauce", hope he never changes.

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4111

My daughter-in-law posted this today. My granddaughter is going to be quite a handful! She turns 3 tomorrow.

Kylie is looking like she is doing something she is not supposed to. I said what are you doing? Kylie (as she puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head): Being cute!!!!...