Gossip, or not (personal debate)
OK, this is a little personal, but is something I have been struggling with all weekend so I thought I would ask you ladies, especially since it is slow here anyways. Feel free to take off on tangents if you want to.
The other day a friend of mine informed me that her daughter didn't have swim practice because her swim coach (male) is going through a divorce and some 'accusations' have been made by his ex, which made it so that he cant be around young children at this time. ( Not sure exactly what the accusations were as kids have been around every time this was discussed, but it obviously has to do with some inappropriate sexual contact with kids.) Coach had come to her house the night before to explain the situation, and she claimed that these accusations were ridiculous, and really unfortunate, and only hurt the children. Apparently the wife left him for another man about 4 months ago and left the kids with him, and then the day before their court appearance she went into the police station and made these accusations. I know though, because their daughter is in the same preschool class as my son, that mom was at least taking them to school some days, so she wasn't absent from their lives those 4 months. The woman who I heard this from's daughter has been driven to practice alone by the coach on at least one occasion. I know this from previous conversations.
A few days later I mentioned this situation in passing to my husband (the cop), because he had met the couple on a previous occasion and commented on what a nice couple they seemed to be. His response when I described the situation was ' hey, I know about this case!' from work. According to him, this is not the first time 'coach' has been accused of the same thing, and that he was refusing to take a polygraph test. DH made a point of saying that none of that means he is guilty, but most people who are innocent will just take the test to make it all go away. It is......suspicious that he wont take the test.
So I have two questions:
1. (personal) Should I tell the original mother (who's daughter has been alone with him) the other information I have found out? She seems very convinced that it has all been made up by the ex wife, but I feel like I am gossiping if I tell her. I dont want to put these things out there, especially if he is innocent of everything, I would feel horrible if I turned people against him, but I feel like she should know since she is throwing all her support behind him.
2. (not personal) How would you react if you found out information like this about someone who had been alone with your child? This mothers reaction baffles me as I would try to remain much more neutral so that my child would feel safe telling me if something had happened. Even now, I feel like when it comes to sex offenses, you kind of need to prove your innocence before I would ever let my kids around you again.
Anyways, not sure how much of a debate this will be, but I could use some advice. Thanks.