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  1. #21
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    In this particular situation everyone has failed her and yes her family abandoned her there.

  2. #22
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    But do you really think a woman was having sex with the mentality of a 6 year old and never mentioned the sex? Seriously? Sex Is Awesome. You can't tell me that she enjoyed it enough to keep doing it and didn't share that wiht her parents. Either htey weren't being good parents and checkin in on her or they weren't being good parents and fixed the situation when it popped up. Not abandonment, but neglect.

  3. #23
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
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    I am not sure if the parents knew, I think most parents need to have some distance between themselves and their disabled child. Especially if they were hoping this child will be able to have some independence.
    Last edited by mom3girls; 11-01-2012 at 03:46 PM.
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  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by wlillie View Post
    But do you really think a woman was having sex with the mentality of a 6 year old and never mentioned the sex? Seriously? Sex Is Awesome. You can't tell me that she enjoyed it enough to keep doing it and didn't share that wiht her parents. Either htey weren't being good parents and checkin in on her or they weren't being good parents and fixed the situation when it popped up. Not abandonment, but neglect.
    That depends on if she thought she was wrong or being bad. My 6 year old sure wouldn't volunteer information if he knew he was going to get in trouble for it. If she knew she wasn't allowed to go to the truck stop by herself or had an association of sex being something wrong that she shouldn't be doing I can very well see her not mentioning it to her parents.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    That depends on if she thought she was wrong or being bad. My 6 year old sure wouldn't volunteer information if he knew he was going to get in trouble for it. If she knew she wasn't allowed to go to the truck stop by herself or had an association of sex being something wrong that she shouldn't be doing I can very well see her not mentioning it to her parents.
    Forcing abortion on someone is totally wrong period. I think forcing sterilization wouldn't be as bad in these cases (not by state by by parents), but might not be "forced" if you could convince her of the benefits.

  6. #26
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    That depends on if she thought she was wrong or being bad. My 6 year old sure wouldn't volunteer information if he knew he was going to get in trouble for it. If she knew she wasn't allowed to go to the truck stop by herself or had an association of sex being something wrong that she shouldn't be doing I can very well see her not mentioning it to her parents.
    And how often does he do something repeatedly wihtout you finding out? Seriously.

  7. #27
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    First, what a heartbreaking situation. Second, wow. There are many reasons to put an adult in a group home. That does not make you a bad or neglectful parent. I remember when my grandfather had alzheimer's. He would have been so much better taken care of in a home, but my Aunt would not put him in one. A group home or a nursing home is sometimes the very best place for someone. The overgeneralization that anyone that puts someone in a group home is a bad parent/child or is neglectful is extremely offensive. Third, did the adoptive parents know what was happening? It is very possible they did not. If the person was home each time they visited and no one told them, they would not necessarily know. If they are legally responsible for the adult, then they would legally make the decision. The govt. has no right to make the decision one way or the other. I do think the group home should have to undergo a complete review to find out why they were letting this happen in the first place. If that happened in a group home here, they would be shut down right away.

    ~Bonita~

  8. #28
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wlillie View Post
    And how often does he do something repeatedly wihtout you finding out? Seriously.
    He lives with me. I see him every day. A totally different situation than a mentally handicapped adult that they may not see every day, especially when the group home has a reason to keep it quiet because they would probably lose their license. They probably told her not to say anything to her parents because she would get in trouble.

    ETA: She is 32 years old. If she did it repeatedly why did she not get pregnant earlier?
    Last edited by GloriaInTX; 11-01-2012 at 04:22 PM.
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  9. #29
    Posting Addict ClairesMommy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom3girls View Post
    I am shocked to see people think parents putting their children in group homes think that the parents are abandoning them. Really shocked. I am good friends with a woman that owns homes that have adult foster care, and every parent that puts their child there does so because they want their child to lead as "normal" of life as possible. A good friend put her son in one when he was 19 (functions at a 3year old level) and thinks it is the best thing she could have ever done for him. Originally the plan was that Brett would come home every weekend, after a couple of months he didnt want to, he wanted to be with his friends. He now has a job, gets to spend his own money and things he is a "big guy" now (he is 23)

    I love the idea of group homes. That being said there are some really bad homes out there, and this sounds like one of them. They were responsible for the daily care of this woman, and they failed. I would be very surprised if they told the parents what was happening.
    What's shocking is that this woman has walked away from the group home repeatedly to engage in sex with strangers and that her parents allowed her to remain in that home. I consider THAT to be abandonment, not the act of simply putting a child in a group home to begin with. If you (general) had to put your child into one and then found out that she walked away and was having sex with strangers you'd allow her to stay there? That's neglect, IMO.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClairesMommy View Post
    If you (general) had to put your child into one and then found out that she walked away and was having sex with strangers you'd allow her to stay there? That's neglect, IMO.
    How do you know they knew before finding out she was pg? Either way, legally they are still closest of kin until a Judge says otherwise. No one has any right to say otherwise and to make any decisions regarding their child.

    My understanding is that forced sterilization is not legal. My nephew is adopted. His birth mother has done such abuse that she will never be allowed to keep her children again. The moment my nephew was born, he was taken out of her care. She has had many children. I am sure there are some that wish they could sterilize her. Legally though, they can not. I am sure there are many similar situations all throughout the country.

    ~Bonita~

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