Grandmother has custody *Warning* Sever child abuse mentioned
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
Like Tree6Likes

Thread: Grandmother has custody *Warning* Sever child abuse mentioned

  1. #1
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    6,469

    Default Grandmother has custody *Warning* Sever child abuse mentioned

    Texas mom gets 99 years for gluing toddler to wall, beating her – This Just In - CNN.com Blogs

    Do you think giving custody of 5 severely abused and confused children to a grandmother is in their best interest when said grandmother asked the judge to let their abuser serve probation instead of a jail sentence?

  2. #2
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    2,219

    Default

    I don't really know how I feel. The kids are probably close to their grandmother and probably feel safest there. Part of me still thinks that this is her daughter and of course she doesn't want her to go to jail and the other part of me thinks even so that as a mom I would have let them take her.

    5 kids by 23....wow.

    And my NON PC side of my brain wishes this is a case where we could sterilize someone.

  3. #3
    Super Poster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Jeddah
    Posts
    678

    Default

    I watched the cnn video yesterday and could not bear it. soooooooo awful!

    The grandmother was also beaten by her daughter, so I think that could possibly play a role in her protection of her daughter, protecting an abuser. If nothing else few mothers want their kids in jail. I think they all probably need a lot of long term therapy. If the gm does not seem harmful and rational enough then with the gm is probably a good place, esp if no other close relatives are able or qualified. Going separate ways in foster homes as they are is a terrible option.
    mom2robbie likes this.
    Aisha

  4. #4
    Posting Addict smsturner's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Hamilton, NY
    Posts
    5,863

    Default

    i actually was thinking this exact same thing. it doesnt' sound like the kids are going to be too much better off...
    Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan, ds Marcus, ds #2 coming Feb, 2014

    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26

  5. #5
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    5,822

    Default

    Separate foster homes are not an option either and their are few foster homes that could take all 5. I was separated from my siblings, my 2 sisters with in one foster home, my brother in another and I was in a third. My brother and I were adopted by different families and my bio-mother parented my two sisters. My adoption was finalized when I was 5.5 years old. I maintained memories of my siblings until we were reunited when I was 26. It is horrible to remember you have siblings but not to know anything about them.

    The grandmother sounds like she loves the children and is trying to do the best for them.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  6. #6
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Debating Away on the Debate Board!
    Posts
    11,771

    Default

    I shouldn't have read that article. I was warned. But now I can't stop crying.

    Anyway, I agree with myyams that assuming the grandma is not abusive and rational, they will probably be better off with her than bouncing around in foster care, but that they all need some serious therapy (grandmother included.)
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

    Got an opinion? We've got a board! Come join us for some lively debate on the Face Off! Debate Arena board.

  7. #7
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    My avatar is the tai chi -- a symbol of the eternal cycle of life
    Posts
    16,486

    Default

    My first thought is, why the hell are they giving those kids to the grandmother who clearly wasn't able to properly parent her own daughter who ended up as an abusive single mother to five children by the age of 23? But then again, what's done is done by both mothers and it's time to start healing and moving on. As others have said, I'm going to assume that the grandmother is a stable loving person and I'd rather see those kids stay together than separated in foster care. And I'd like to see them all get counseling, including the grandmother.

    And let's talk about this prison term. Do you think the judge overstepped bounds on this one? This mom got more time than Sandusky and she got more time than people who have killed multiple people. It's obviously going to be appealled. It seems to me that this mom should have had a lot more help than she ever got, and I'm appalled that she was able to slip through so many cracks in our social safety net system to get to the point of gluing her kid's hands to the wall. I think she should have gotten a short prison sentence with a very long period of supervised parole. And where are all the fathers? Should they be held accountable in some way? Maybe if she had more support money, she wouldn't have been so stressed out, or maybe if they had each taken their kids sometimes, she would have gotten a much-needed break, and this wouldn't have happened.
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

  8. #8
    Super Poster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Jeddah
    Posts
    678

    Default

    I definitely agree with this. When I worked in Social Work this is what I saw all the time at various levels. Finding the father(s) was always very difficult. What would ideally happen is after her term (if it were less of one!!), she'd be offered some services to try to help her possibly work toward regaining custody; though likely it'd take a long time. Reintegrating back into society after jail is difficult for anyone. I would HOPE that during her time in jail she would be able to work toward gaining some education. I've not read enough in detail to know what kind of education she has, but I bet she doesn't even have a GED or HS diploma. So that would be the first step. A lot of times the services we offered before removing children from abusive homes (depending on the degree and type) was to get lots of services to the family. Most of the time these stresses were due to financial strain, not an excuse but just a correlation. So our department would try to help with that in some way. In this case, this mother severely fell through the cracks. Someone should have repeatedly reported concerns. I don't know if that happened (I didn't read too much, just watched a few seconds of the vid). Has this woman even had a mental health check by a Psychiatrist? I mean, maybe she has some mental illness or health condition. She has a life long issue with anger and poor behavioral patters, clearly. It's a sad, sad case for these kids, so very heartbreaking. I can't believe someone would even think to glue a kid to he wall. Like where would that idea be born from? I can't understand.


    I do think the vast differences between sentences is appalling, and I agree our judicial system is flawed.


    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    My first thought is, why the hell are they giving those kids to the grandmother who clearly wasn't able to properly parent her own daughter who ended up as an abusive single mother to five children by the age of 23? But then again, what's done is done by both mothers and it's time to start healing and moving on. As others have said, I'm going to assume that the grandmother is a stable loving person and I'd rather see those kids stay together than separated in foster care. And I'd like to see them all get counseling, including the grandmother.

    And let's talk about this prison term. Do you think the judge overstepped bounds on this one? This mom got more time than Sandusky and she got more time than people who have killed multiple people. It's obviously going to be appealled. It seems to me that this mom should have had a lot more help than she ever got, and I'm appalled that she was able to slip through so many cracks in our social safety net system to get to the point of gluing her kid's hands to the wall. I think she should have gotten a short prison sentence with a very long period of supervised parole. And where are all the fathers? Should they be held accountable in some way? Maybe if she had more support money, she wouldn't have been so stressed out, or maybe if they had each taken their kids sometimes, she would have gotten a much-needed break, and this wouldn't have happened.
    Aisha

  9. #9
    Community Host
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    13,538

    Default

    I am thinking I am not going to read the article. It does sound heartbreaking.

    Quote Originally Posted by mom2robbie View Post
    Separate foster homes are not an option either and their are few foster homes that could take all 5. I was separated from my siblings, my 2 sisters with in one foster home, my brother in another and I was in a third. My brother and I were adopted by different families and my bio-mother parented my two sisters. My adoption was finalized when I was 5.5 years old. I maintained memories of my siblings until we were reunited when I was 26. It is horrible to remember you have siblings but not to know anything about them.

    The grandmother sounds like she loves the children and is trying to do the best for them.
    Sorry that you had to go through that.


    I do agree that finding foster care for 5 children would be difficult.

    ~Bonita~

  10. #10
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    6,469

    Default

    I think Sandusky didn't get a long enough prison term; hers is fine. I think it's insane to try to pretend like this woman is ever going to be OK. If you are evil enough to glue your children to the wall, then no amount of money or help from the fathers is going to keep you from doing it. Apparently her mother was involved in helping with the kids so if she needed a break, she should have taken one.

    I think if I was that kind of person that I'd want my kids to go into foster care instead of the home that raised me. Even if it meant being separated from my siblings. That 23 year old didn't just wake up one day with 5 kids and letting the grandmother raise them just means the cycle will continue.

    "Elizabeth Escalona wasn't sorry for what she did to 2-year-old Jocelyn. Elizabeth Escalona felt sorry for herself," Price said. "Those tears on the stand were for her and not for the toddler she tortured."
    Last edited by wlillie; 10-14-2012 at 12:47 PM.

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions