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  1. #441
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    We had a lockdown drill at my school today and it got me thinking about this thread. I believe my school is probably about as safe as it can be without having armed guards pacing the hallways (and no, I don't think that is a good idea). Every classroom door stays locked, all gates except one parking lot gate are locked during school hours, and everyone on campus knows what to do in an emergency situation. I believe in taking precautions, but I don't believe in living in fear or teaching my kids to be fearful of the world either. Cautious - yes. Fearful - no.
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  2. #442
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Please also do not assume what experiences I have or have not had.
    I wasn't assuming actually, I was going by the posts that you have made on this board on the subject. Unfortunately I remember way too much of what I read. I could link you to them if you like ~ maybe you don't know how to use the "advanced search" option by user name and keyword? But you state quite clearly that you have "no idea" what rape would be like and so forth~ maybe that is merely a lie or a defense mechanism on your part, and if you are, indeed, a victim of rape and simply have been unable to admit it in the prior posts my search turned up, I do most humbly apologize. I was only going by your words saying that you weren't.

  3. #443
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Let's get this topic back on track, please (I can't believe I'm pleading to keep talking about school shootings....)

    Melissa - I honestly do think I understand why you would take umbrage at someone making a statement like "rape survivors can never enjoy sex again." Statements like that kind of play into the idea that there is a "right" way to respond to the rape, and that raped women are "ruined" or "broken." Not that it's at all the same thing, but the example of miscarriages came up, and I certainly don't want to think of myself or be thought of as someone who is now unable to enjoy my pregnancies, and if someone said that "Women who have had miscarriages can't enjoy their pregnancies" I wouldn't really appreciate the statement. Not at the same level at all, but I'm trying to say that I think I understand where your objection comes from.

    Having said all of that, I truly do not think that Bonita meant to be offensive, and I feel like any more debate about it is just going to get needlessly ugly.

    So, respectfully, to all who have weighed in on the subject, let's please just get back to the debate topic. Thank you!
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    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  4. #444
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    I agree. And perhaps because the gun didn't allow the kid to shoot off a bagillion rounds in his initial rage, he isn't now a mass murderer and dead of his own hand. Maybe he is just a 16 year old who made a HORRIFIC mistake and is going to be charged with some very serious crimes, but isn't a murderer. Maybe he gets some help, who knows. But surely there is something to be said for not having a high powered weapon in the hands of an upset and irrational kid. Perhaps had had time to see blood, and have regret/fear, before it was all too late and too terrible.


    bolded: unless this kid doesn't survive.


    There was another article that suggested the shooter was a victim of bullying.

  5. #445
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alana*sMommy View Post
    We had a lockdown drill at my school today and it got me thinking about this thread. I believe my school is probably about as safe as it can be without having armed guards pacing the hallways (and no, I don't think that is a good idea). Every classroom door stays locked, all gates except one parking lot gate are locked during school hours, and everyone on campus knows what to do in an emergency situation. I believe in taking precautions, but I don't believe in living in fear or teaching my kids to be fearful of the world either. Cautious - yes. Fearful - no.

    i'm hoping i;m not the only one who see's the irony here.


    lockdown (whether real or drill) usually equals fear. They do them when something/someone is a danger to the students. I'd say thats teaching them to be fearful right there. Just the thought that they have to know what to do in a lockdown puts fear in my kids.

    We never had lockdowns growing up, i'm sure all of us could name very spefic times when were in school and they should have had a lockdown or two.
    Last edited by Sapphire Sunsets; 01-11-2013 at 02:50 AM.

  6. #446
    Community Host Sapphire Sunsets's Avatar
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    oh holy hell, this just got more complicated.


    Time-bomb: Students at Taft High School tweeted worries about alleged shooter last month; ‘Why is he still allowed in school?’ | Twitchy


    showing tweets from his classmates wks ago that he was already threatening to shoot people and made a hit list, yet the school did nothing.


    and you wonder why i want to home school my children?


    eta**** The do have an armed sheriff on staff, he wasn't there.
    Last edited by Sapphire Sunsets; 01-11-2013 at 03:37 AM.

  7. #447
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphire Sunsets View Post
    i'm hoping i;m not the only one who see's the irony here.


    lockdown (whether real or drill) usually equals fear. They do them when something/someone is a danger to the students. I'd say thats teaching them to be fearful right there. Just the thought that they have to know what to do in a lockdown puts fear in my kids.

    We never had lockdowns growing up, i'm sure all of us could name very spefic times when were in school and they should have had a lockdown or two.

    I totally disagree with this. I don't think that teaching my kids what to do in the event of a fire (and we have) teaches them to be fearful of fire. I don't think that teaching my kids what to do in the event of an emergency/how to call 911 makes them fear emergencies. I think that kids feeling like they have a plan actually instills a feeling of control in them ~ just like practicing firedrills makes for a calmer, safer evacuation in the event of a fire, a lockdown drill makes for a calmer, safer lockdown in the event of an emergency. Why? Because the children are LESS afraid because they have done this before in times of safety and non emergency.

    And you may have never have had lockdowns, but I sure remember doing bomb drills (anyone else? Get under your desk? I'm 37?). And fire drills. And officer friendly coming to our school to talk to us about stranger danger and fire safety and all sorts of things. Never made me more afraid, simply made me feel more informed.

    And again, if you want to homeschool your children, do it! They are probably statistically more likely to get hurt in an accident at home than in a school shooting, but that is neither here nor there. WAYYY more likely to get hurt in your car if you are out tooling around in the course of your home schooling day.

    As to him not being a murderer "yet"...yeah, I figured that was an obvious. I figured that we could all just stipulate that if the kid (who i saw was in stable condition) died, then he would be a murderer.
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  8. #448
    Posting Addict ClairesMommy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    I totally disagree with this. I don't think that teaching my kids what to do in the event of a fire (and we have) teaches them to be fearful of fire. I don't think that teaching my kids what to do in the event of an emergency/how to call 911 makes them fear emergencies. I think that kids feeling like they have a plan actually instills a feeling of control in them ~ just like practicing firedrills makes for a calmer, safer evacuation in the event of a fire, a lockdown drill makes for a calmer, safer lockdown in the event of an emergency. Why? Because the children are LESS afraid because they have done this before in times of safety and non emergency.
    And I complete agree with this.

    DD's school had a lockdown several months ago because of the police attempting to apprehend two suspects right across the street. I witnessed the lockdown because I happened to be parked directly in front of the house where the police were looking (guns drawn, the whole thing) and instead of waiting to get caught in any potential crossfire I ran DD into the school and a teacher who had seen what was happened called the lockdown. I was so impressed with the speed and efficiency of the staff and DD has come home from school with newsletters abour lockdown drills. To be in an actual lockdown is kind of freaky, I'll admit (probably because we never had them when I was in school, and because there was the threat of real danger), but DD was so calm about the whole thing once we were inside. Yeah, it's kind of sad that our 5 year olds are calm about lockdowns, but I wasn't exactly crying in panic and fear during fire drills either when I was in school.

  9. #449
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    I agree. Lockdown drills are just the same as fire drills. It makes kids prepared. I had bomb drills. I had to do emergency evacs off the bus and never once did I actually worry I would have to use it.

    My daughter's school does lockdown drills and I love it. Sad that is necessary, sure. But, especially for kids in the special ed world it makes it routine for her. She does them well. Sits quietly and no fidgets. Same for fire drill. She isn't great with verbal instruction so walk throughs like this, although I hope she never actually has to use one, are so beneficial to her and all students.

  10. #450
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    Let's get this topic back on track, please (I can't believe I'm pleading to keep talking about school shootings....)

    Melissa - I honestly do think I understand why you would take umbrage at someone making a statement like "rape survivors can never enjoy sex again." Statements like that kind of play into the idea that there is a "right" way to respond to the rape, and that raped women are "ruined" or "broken." Not that it's at all the same thing, but the example of miscarriages came up, and I certainly don't want to think of myself or be thought of as someone who is now unable to enjoy my pregnancies, and if someone said that "Women who have had miscarriages can't enjoy their pregnancies" I wouldn't really appreciate the statement. Not at the same level at all, but I'm trying to say that I think I understand where your objection comes from.

    Having said all of that, I truly do not think that Bonita meant to be offensive, and I feel like any more debate about it is just going to get needlessly ugly.

    So, respectfully, to all who have weighed in on the subject, let's please just get back to the debate topic. Thank you!
    I think it is was an overly dramatized statement, but could have been made true, if she said OFTEN those who are raped are never the same again. Or OFTEN traumatic events change us as people, sometimes for better sometimes worse, sometimes just different.
    DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03

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