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  1. #11
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    As a nerdish sort of person, I myself have a desktop computer, a laptop, and an iPad. I now also have an iPhone because my office was paying for me to have one and they let me keep it (because it's a 4 and not a 5).

    The issue for me isn't the technology, it's a question of whether or not the kids are spoiled. Do they get everything they want because they whine for it? Spoiled. Or do they have the technology because their parents can afford it and it's fun and not abused? Not a problem.

    Some days we are all hanging out as a family, other times we are all poking around on our devices. It's just another form of leisure. As a kid I was obsessed with reading, I still am. So my family would be hanging out and I'd be buried in a book. Same level of isolation although of course I think a book has tremendous value in terms of one's brain development and vocabulary.

    My 9-year-old has a DS, but otherwise we own the technology and his use is regulated. My 6-year-old doesn't own any, but she uses my iPad all the time.

    I really don't have an issue with it on principle, I can't make a judgement based solely on age and technology type. I don't plan to get a cell phone for Nathaniel until next year when he is walking to school by himself.

    Anyway...I don't think it's a big deal unless the kids don't interact with anyone (and I'm guessing the parents don't either if that's true) or the kids are spoiled and given everything they ask for.
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  2. #12
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    I will confess to something bad though. My kids often tell me about these other kids that are their ages (the younger ones) that have ipads and iphones and i will admit, my first gut reaction is that these kids spend too much time on these devices.

    Do I know if its true or not? I don't. And I admit to telling my kids that I think its unnecessary and over the top.

    So I'm being a bit of a hypocrite in what I think and what i do sometimes.

    I should learn to trust people's judgments more (not that i actually stew over these things, they aren't my concern as they are not my kids) but given how much i see some kids using electronics...it just has to make me wonder, and I automatically gravitate towards blaming the ones that actually give them to their kids at a young age as the most likely culprits.

    There. Total confession thrown out on the table. I"m a horrible person, i know.
    Last edited by KimPossible; 10-16-2013 at 01:23 PM.

  3. #13
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimPossible View Post
    Can i ask, what is the logic behind insisting that a cell phone is not okay for use to talk to friends, but a land line is acceptable. Is it just a concern about the financial costs of using the cell phone too much? Or is it something more?

    I guess i don't understand what difference it makes what phone they use to talk to their friends.
    Where I live a land line is as much as a prepaid cell plan, so money wouldn't be the consideration. I like being able to monitor who my child is talking to, what kind of conversation they're having, the language and tone they're both using, and you really can't do that with a cell phone. When the child is stuck on the land line, you can eavedrop more easily and make sure they aren't being bullied, or bullying someone else, or talking dirty with a boy before they should be, etc. We've dropped our land line recently but our apartment is so small she can't really get away from us, LOL! She's not allowed to take our phones outside.

    Quote Originally Posted by freddieflounder101 View Post
    The issue for me isn't the technology, it's a question of whether or not the kids are spoiled. Do they get everything they want because they whine for it? Spoiled. Or do they have the technology because their parents can afford it and it's fun and not abused? Not a problem.
    I pretty much agree with this, but I would add the concern of whether the child is using the technology to withdraw from having to interact with people in the real world or if he's using the technology to stay connected. My BIL and my two nephews will *not* have a conversation at the dinner table, they just play their games and ignore everyone. My two nieces are both always texting & playing games, but area also perfectly capable of putting their devices away and enjoying themselves with family or friends in the same room.

    We've told Tiven that she can have a standard cell phone when she's in middle school because we do want her to be able to get in touch with us when she has more freedom to roam, and to be able to call & text friends. It might be a smart phone without a data plan, it might be my old flip phone, we don't know yet. But we are not turning her loose with the internet at her hands at the age of 11, no way, and her phone will get turned in to us at bedtime & returned to her in the morning. That's 1.5 years away, and we'll re-evaluate when she's getting ready for high school. As for needing a computer for homework, I'm adamantly opposed to most homework so that argument doesn't sway me much.
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  4. #14
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    Where I live a land line is as much as a prepaid cell plan, so money wouldn't be the consideration. I like being able to monitor who my child is talking to, what kind of conversation they're having, the language and tone they're both using, and you really can't do that with a cell phone. When the child is stuck on the land line, you can eavedrop more easily and make sure they aren't being bullied, or bullying someone else, or talking dirty with a boy before they should be, etc. We've dropped our land line recently but our apartment is so small she can't really get away from us, LOL! She's not allowed to take our phones outside.
    Yeah but at the point where i would ever consider getting my child a phone (emma is 12)...they have plenty of opportunity to talk to their friends when you are not around. If the issue is having conversations that you are not privy to...you'd never be able to let them out of your sight.

    Plus do you really plan on insisting your child have her phone conversations in your presence in the house? Like, you wouldn't allow her to go up to her bedroom to talk?
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimPossible View Post
    Yeah but at the point where i would ever consider getting my child a phone (emma is 12)...they have plenty of opportunity to talk to their friends when you are not around. If the issue is having conversations that you are not privy to...you'd never be able to let them out of your sight.

    Plus do you really plan on insisting your child have her phone conversations in your presence in the house? Like, you wouldn't allow her to go up to her bedroom to talk?
    Remember how I said we're going to give her a phone when she's 11? She nine right now and yes, right now, we insist on her being where we can listen in if we choose to. As she gets older and more mature, and as she shows us that she's making good decisions with her life and her friendships, we will start loosening that requirement. We simply don't believe that kids should expect to have 100% privacy 100% of the time. DH & I remember being limited to however far the phone cord would reach from the kitchen, and we turned out just fine. I see all these stories of very young kids bullying others and being bullied, and how cell phones and social media are such a huge part of that problem, and if I can protect my daughter from that for a while longer, if I can help her deal with it because I hear it happening, then I'm going to keep that bit of control in our lives.
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  6. #16
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    Remember how I said we're going to give her a phone when she's 11? She nine right now and yes, right now, we insist on her being where we can listen in if we choose to. As she gets older and more mature, and as she shows us that she's making good decisions with her life and her friendships, we will start loosening that requirement. We simply don't believe that kids should expect to have 100% privacy 100% of the time. DH & I remember being limited to however far the phone cord would reach from the kitchen, and we turned out just fine. I see all these stories of very young kids bullying others and being bullied, and how cell phones and social media are such a huge part of that problem, and if I can protect my daughter from that for a while longer, if I can help her deal with it because I hear it happening, then I'm going to keep that bit of control in our lives.
    I don't believe in 100% privacy either. In fact, i really have no issue with similar rules about computer use. I like the computer being in a common area, not in the kids bedrooms.

    Guess the phone conversations thing feels different to me. Not that I'm saying that they should expect me to never question what they are doing or talking about with their friends....just that i wouldn't by default plan on eaves dropping on their conversations.

    And if anything, i would worry more about bullying issues at an older age, particularly middle school and on, than elementary school.
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  7. #17
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    My DS is not allowed to play with phones or my tablet, so he will not be getting them himself for quite some time. He has been watching movies on the tablet but that was while our dvd player died and we were looking for a new one. At this stage he can have a phone when he can pay for one and if he needs a computer for school work we have a desk top so he doesn't need a lap top. I personally don't feel he needs all the gadgets and he is able to amuse himself without them. I have cousins who when we recently went to a family party wouldn't play with the kids instead they wanted to play on their parents phones so they sat by themselves and played games on their own. These cousins buy their kids everything technology related and their children have built such a dependence, which they have enabled as parents, that they can not be in the car even for a 5 minute trip down the road without the car dvd players being on.

  8. #18
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    I have cousins who when we recently went to a family party wouldn't play with the kids instead they wanted to play on their parents phones so they sat by themselves and played games on their own. These cousins buy their kids everything technology related and their children have built such a dependence, which they have enabled as parents, that they can not be in the car even for a 5 minute trip down the road without the car dvd players being on.
    This is not a symptom of them having these things, this is a system of having unrestricted access to these things and not being taught differently.
    Emma 08/31/01
    Aodhan 07/24/03
    Lillian 03/04/05
    Nathalie 07/01/07
    Cecilia Marie 1/10/10


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  9. #19
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    I have cousins who when we recently went to a family party wouldn't play with the kids instead they wanted to play on their parents phones so they sat by themselves and played games on their own. These cousins buy their kids everything technology related and their children have built such a dependence, which they have enabled as parents, that they can not be in the car even for a 5 minute trip down the road without the car dvd players being on.
    This is not a symptom of them having these things, this is a system of having unrestricted access to these things and not being taught differently.
    Emma 08/31/01
    Aodhan 07/24/03
    Lillian 03/04/05
    Nathalie 07/01/07
    Cecilia Marie 1/10/10


    Photo By Anne Schmidt Photography

  10. #20
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    Yes thats why I said they have a dependence which their parents have enabled.
    Wendy




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