Its that magical time of year again! (BF mentioned)

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zefroim's picture
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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

But again, I don't really think that having something in your signature on a message board is really shoving it in someone's face.

I actually think that the response of anger and annoyance to pictures of it is very telling that bfing (at least open, public bfing) *isn't* totally accepted by people. Melissa compared it to a man showing his penis, but I don't think that's comparable because a man's penis can't feed a baby. If women were just showing their bare breasts, I would agree with everything that has been said, but the idea that showing a picture of a baby eating from a breast illicits such a reaction - this is exactly why some people still have a hard time NIP. Because it's *not* just an every day activity that people have no reaction to or problem with. If it were, seeing a picture of it wouldn't be controversial or debate worthy.

I don't think anyone is angry. I enjoy seeing women actually bfing, not pictures. When I see the siggies I roll my eyes. When I'm at the park or wherever and I see a woman bfing, I think "awwww" and smile.

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

But again, I don't really think that having something in your signature on a message board is really shoving it in someone's face.

I actually think that the response of anger and annoyance to pictures of it is very telling that bfing (at least open, public bfing) *isn't* totally accepted by people. Melissa compared it to a man showing his penis, but I don't think that's comparable because a man's penis can't feed a baby.

Just FTR, I wasn't comparing a penis to nursing. I was mentioning why I see penis as a normal thing that I see in everyday life as a married woman, (they may not feed babies, but they sure do make them!), and nursing as normal, and don't see nursing breasts or penis being normal things to profile on your FB page or your signature or as your email sign off. Its all about context.

I really can't imagine that you are saying here that I don't accept open public breast feeding after 46 months and counting of doing it. Heck, I've nursed Jake publicly in three different states in the past week.

Again the siggies don't make me angry. I just cringe at some of them and find them pointless and too public for my tastes.

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Are there other things that people do in public that you have no problem seeing IRL, but roll your eyes at pictures of them?

What I'm saying (badly) is that there still is something about nursing specifically that sets it apart from other activities that people do publically, even from people who support it. Like, if I posted a picture of my family eating dinner for World Eat Dinner with Your Family Week (if there were such a thing) - probably no one would roll their eyes. If I posted a picture of myself jogging for World Get More Activity Week, probably no one would roll their eyes. What is it about breastfeeding that makes pictures of it annoying, even to people to support breastfeeding?

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Are there other things that people do in public that you have no problem seeing IRL, but roll your eyes at pictures of them?

What I'm saying (badly) is that there still is something about nursing specifically that sets it apart from other activities that people do publically, even from people who support it. Like, if I posted a picture of my family eating dinner for World Eat Dinner with Your Family Week (if there were such a thing) - probably no one would roll their eyes. If I posted a picture of myself jogging for World Get More Activity Week, probably no one would roll their eyes. What is it about breastfeeding that makes pictures of it annoying, even to people to support breastfeeding?

Speaking for myself here, but I think b/c while it should be and is done publicly, it's still kind of a private act between a mom and a child. And yeah, I guess it's b/c a breast is involved and breasts are sexualized and viewed as more than just something used to feed babies. Totally crude example, but I guess if baby bottles doubled as we might also feel the same way about bottle-feeding. I'm ok with sexualizing breasts and I'm more than ok with bfing and NIP. But I'd rather not see your breasts unless you're feeding your baby IRL :p.

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Are there other things that people do in public that you have no problem seeing IRL, but roll your eyes at pictures of them?

What I'm saying (badly) is that there still is something about nursing specifically that sets it apart from other activities that people do publically, even from people who support it. Like, if I posted a picture of my family eating dinner for World Eat Dinner with Your Family Week (if there were such a thing) - probably no one would roll their eyes. If I posted a picture of myself jogging for World Get More Activity Week, probably no one would roll their eyes. What is it about breastfeeding that makes pictures of it annoying, even to people to support breastfeeding?

If I saw some girls on the beach doing gymnastics I would not roll my eyes.
If I saw a girls signature was of her in a bikini doing a cartwheel, I would roll my eyes.

If I see a couple making out in a park I would smile and not roll my eyes.
If someone had a photo of themselves making out as their signature picture I would roll my eyes.

I roll my eyes when people post "Stash pictures" and "OMG FluFFAYY Mail!!!" photos.
I cloth diaper in real life.

Extended rear facing in real life is normal to me. Seeing tickers proclaiming how long precious has been rear facing makes me roll my eyes.

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"Potter75" wrote:

If I saw some girls on the beach doing gymnastics I would not roll my eyes.
If I saw a girls signature was of her in a bikini doing a cartwheel, I would roll my eyes.

If I see a couple making out in a park I would smile and not roll my eyes.
If someone had a photo of themselves making out as their signature picture I would roll my eyes.

I roll my eyes when people post "Stash pictures" and "OMG FluFFAYY Mail!!!" photos.
I cloth diaper in real life.

Extended rear facing in real life is normal to me. Seeing tickers proclaiming how long precious has been rear facing makes me roll my eyes.

Omg thank you for articulating exactly how I feel. Not only that but you know there is a reason why we make the choices we do. One could very easily post a siggy saying Support BF'ing Week in orderto advocate for it. But to purposely take a picture of yourself BF'ing, see the amount of boob showing, and choose to post it online as a siggy that you know everyone will see every time you post, says something specific. I don't buy that it is just for acknowledging BFing week. Just like in Melis' example, posting a picture of yourself in a bikini or a ticker to procliam the time in a rear facing seat says something specific. And I am not buying that it is completely benign, hence the eye roll.

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"Potter75" wrote:

If I saw some girls on the beach doing gymnastics I would not roll my eyes.
If I saw a girls signature was of her in a bikini doing a cartwheel, I would roll my eyes.

If I see a couple making out in a park I would smile and not roll my eyes.
If someone had a photo of themselves making out as their signature picture I would roll my eyes.

I roll my eyes when people post "Stash pictures" and "OMG FluFFAYY Mail!!!" photos.
I cloth diaper in real life.

Extended rear facing in real life is normal to me. Seeing tickers proclaiming how long precious has been rear facing makes me roll my eyes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

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"culturedmom" wrote:

What is so wrong with nursing covers and nursing rooms? Shoot I fought to have a diaper changing station and nursing/pumping room at the University I taught at when DD was born. I'm proud of it. Thanks to me women who work and attend the College of Ed. don;t have to change their babies ont he floor and pump in the closet the way I did. I feel like I gave back more through that then any picture of my boob ever could.

As for FB, well it's a slippery slope. One person may have a discreet BF'ing pick and the next may have a full nipple shot. How do you suggest one monitor that when it is a site used by kids (13 is the age right?)?

That is awesome! WTG! And yes, good point...your method seems like it gave way more back than posting a BFing siggy pic on a message board. Afterall, not all women are down with breastfeeding/pumping in public. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. That's where I have a problem. This notion that because I would choose to BF in private, that I'm doing the BFing crusade a disservice. Let's just be happy that a mom is BFing at all, right?

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"daniellevmt" wrote:

That's where I have a problem. This notion that because I would choose to BF in private, that I'm doing the BFing crusade a disservice. Let's just be happy that a mom is BFing at all, right?

I keep swearing that I am done with this debate and then I keep getting sucked back in!!! Lol

Who says that if a woman chooses to breastfeed in private, she is doing anyone some kind of disservice?

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Ooooo honey. You missed one on another board that got nasty and the LLL'ers were all about the breastfeeding hiders being the downfall of the the NIP crusade. Yup, not even lying. They thought that women who BFd in public with a hooter hider or whatever were sending a message that breastfeeding is something to be ashamed of. Damn, I just want a woman to feel comfortable no matter HOW she does it, you know?? Who cares where she does it, let's be happy she's doing it at all!

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I am totally not against covers or anything, and I get that lots of people feel more comfy bfing in private, but what I feel bad about is people who do it because they feel forced to. And I think that is wrong. I had a good friend who was so scared to nurse in a restaurant (and she had a cover) because it might disturb other people that she let her baby cry for about 20 min until I finally told her that I was much more disturbed by the crying than i would be by her nursing her baby, and promised to let her know if anyone was coming by our table so that she could stop before they saw her. This was before I had kids of my own so I may have been a little harsh on her, but I still maintain that it was ridiculous that she felt that way, that any woman would feel that way! Maybe the pictures arent the best way to do it, but I do think that we need to raise awareness somehow, and a ticker listing your support sucks. I rarely read peoples tickers, especially when they have a million for every board and cause they support. At least the pictures get attention!

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I think that covers are the equivalent of an overweight person wearing a tshirt into the pool.

Rather than deflecting attention they draw more. They also only work for such a tiny fraction of the time that one nurses, older babies wont have any of that.

I don't want women to feel that they HAVE to scurry away to some nasty restroom to breast feed, or to feel as though they have to hide out in some back bedroom to feed their child in their own home if their relatives are over.

I'm happy to nurse in public because my baby is hungry, not because I am some "LLL'er" or because I am advancing any cause other than the one which involves feeding my hungry baby.

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"daniellevmt" wrote:

Damn, I just want a woman to feel comfortable no matter HOW she does it, you know?? Who cares where she does it, let's be happy she's doing it at all!

I was going to come reply to this I-m so happy , but...

"ftmom" wrote:

but what I feel bad about is people who do it because they feel forced to. And I think that is wrong.

THIS and...

"Potter75" wrote:

I think that covers are the equivalent of an overweight person wearing a tshirt into the pool.

Rather than deflecting attention they draw more. They also only work for such a tiny fraction of the time that one nurses, older babies wont have any of that.

I don't want women to feel that they HAVE to scurry away to some nasty restroom to breast feed, or to feel as though they have to hide out in some back bedroom to feed their child in their own home if their relatives are over.

I'm happy to nurse in public because my baby is hungry, not because I am some "LLL'er" or because I am advancing any cause other than the one which involves feeding my hungry baby.

THIS cover everything I was going to say!

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"Potter75" wrote:

I think that covers are the equivalent of an overweight person wearing a tshirt into the pool.

Rather than deflecting attention they draw more. They also only work for such a tiny fraction of the time that one nurses, older babies wont have any of that.

I don't want women to feel that they HAVE to scurry away to some nasty restroom to breast feed, or to feel as though they have to hide out in some back bedroom to feed their child in their own home if their relatives are over.

I'm happy to nurse in public because my baby is hungry, not because I am some "LLL'er" or because I am advancing any cause other than the one which involves feeding my hungry baby.

And that's awesome for you. I have zero issue with a mother nursing in public. I just feel awful for women who get beat down because they are too shy to nurse in public. To be honest, I really, truly don't understand the notion that a woman who chooses to nurse privately is doing the BF cause a disservice. That's all I was saying. Not sure why you chose to take my post personally. I clearly wasn't talking about you. Smile

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Oh don't worry sweets, I didn't take it personally at all! I was just explaining how I (as a nursing mother) feel, as were the other people who replied to your post.

I think that it is awesome that you are such an advocate of breast feeding!

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I don't mind pictures, but it's just not for me. I would never just "whip it out" in public for all to see. If I do BF in public, it's done under a wrap.

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When have I ever said I don't support breastfeeding, Melissa? I mean, do we all have to claim a "stance" on the issue anyway? HUGE difference between being "unsupportive" or a "non-advocate" of breastfeeding and defending FF mothers. I'm not playing games with you, so don't say, "what? I was just commending you for being a BF advocate!". We both know what you are saying here. Super lame.

On another note, does anyone else have "It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year" in their head after reading the title of this thread? Smile

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"daniellevmt" wrote:

When have I ever said I don't support breastfeeding, Melissa? I mean, do we all have to claim a "stance" on the issue anyway? HUGE difference between being "unsupportive" or a "non-advocate" of breastfeeding and defending FF mothers. I'm not playing games with you, so don't say, "what? I was just commending you for being a BF advocate!". We both know what you are saying here. Super lame.

Uh, okay. I don't know what you think that I was saying there, so I will just walk away. Sorry my compliment was so misconstrued.

I think that yes, in a DEBATE one does claim a stance. This is the debate board. In real life my stance is what I do, I nurse. I haven't see anything in this debate talking about formula feeding, so I don't understand what you mean by bringing up defending them.

I honestly think that it is wonderful when formula feeders champion the cause of nursing mothers. If you find that "super lame" I think that you clearly have issues around the whole idea. Good luck with that.

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My only issue with the covers is that they're part of that baby mafia thing...it's like the wedding mafia. We don't need the ridiculous amount of products out there for every little thing. I nursed in public and once the baby was latched, I'd use my shirt or a baby blanket to cover my boob (but not the baby's head). I think they create a lot of products for us to buy that nobody needs...but everyone has different ones they love. For me it was the Boppy pillow, which other moms didn't give a crap about.

But I never liked the covers that went over the babies' heads! Just wanted to cover my boob, even a burp cloth did that.

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The nursing covers really helped me because both of my boys, particularly the first, were very busy eaters, popping off to check stuff out, leaving me exposed and usually spraying. I didn't really *want* to cover their heads, but a burp cloth just wasn't enough coverage.

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"b525" wrote:

The nursing covers really helped me because both of my boys, particularly the first, were very busy eaters, popping off to check stuff out, leaving me exposed and usually spraying. I didn't really *want* to cover their heads, but a burp cloth just wasn't enough coverage.

See, that makes total sense to me. There are always things one person doesn't need and another considers essential.

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I just think that whether it's a nursing cover or a burp cloth, if it makes you feel more comfortable using one, then that's the most important thing. I always use a cover and in no way am I ashamed of BF in public, it just makes me more comfortable and I presonally feel it respects those around me (again, this is just IMHO). I know it would probably make my DH uncomfortable with other people seeing my exposed breast, BF or not. I certainly don't get upset when I see other women BF however they want, cover or not, to each their own.

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