Kids missing school

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ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
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Kids missing school

So, we have been talking a lot about kids staying home sick, or not. What are your thoughts on kids missing school for other reasons? For example, I am taking DD out of school at noon today so that we can spend some family time together, and then I might take her out for a day after Easter as we are going away. Is there an acceptable time frame to take them out? OK at some grades but not others? Any other thoughts?

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3179

I always think that's okay. If your kid gets the homework done and doesn't miss assignments, I think LIFE is very important. In my brother's family, they ALL take the day off for everyone's birthday. That's 5 a year (2 parents + 3 kids). I think it's lovely.

We once let my son take the day off to go to the circus with his grampas. I think that is great.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3303

I think its okay as long as there is a special occasion tied to it. I would (and have) taken my kids out of school for a vacation and i could see it for a special event that you may not have a similar opportunity to do again, or something like Laurie mentioned where you make it a tradition around special days.

I dont' think I'd be too inclined to take them out of school on any day 'just because'.

My mother had taken me out of school for vacations and things like that...very rarely. I remember one day as a senior in high school, i said "ugggh, i don't feel like going to school today". Mind you, i probably had said that thousands of times since i had started going to school. And she said "Then don't go" I was confused at first, thought she was joking...and then realized she wasn't. I was floored. To this day, i'm not entirely sure why she did that.

I didn't go, and admittedly I felt guilty about it all day. I think its good that i felt guilty about it though and i probably wouldn't have had it been more common to just take days off for no special reason.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
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I let my kids miss school. I think sometimes they are learning as much from things around them.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

So far DD has only missed a day or two for being sick, but we're taking her out for the first 2 weeks in June to go back east for vacation. She's in kindergarten. She's not writing exams or anything. While I don't really like the idea of parents letting their kids skip school often and for reasons like "I don't feel like going today", I see nothing wrong with a planned absence for a special occasion or vacation. If the work can be made up and important exams aren't being missed then I think it's okay. Every family probably has done it or will do it for valid reasons. But it just doesn't really appeal to me - randomly allowing my child to skip school. I'm pretty (and maybe overly) structured with the kids that way. Their weekly routine is pretty concrete with DH and I working full time.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

One of the reasons I am asking is because I was very hesitant to take DD out this afternoon, as it isnt really a special occasion. Her Dad unexpectedly got the day off and we are planning to go swimming at the new aquatic center in the next town over and do some shopping, maybe dinner. I decided to do it because DH has been working even more than usual lately, and because of school there has been many days in the last few weeks when DD didnt even get to see him, and that makes her sad. So I thought we needed some family time.

Anyways, as I said, I was hesitant, as I dont think parents should take their kids out for no reason, but her teachers response when I messaged her last night that we were taking some family time was 'What a good idea!'. I thought that was a bit of an extreme reaction?

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
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"ftmom" wrote:

One of the reasons I am asking is because I was very hesitant to take DD out this afternoon, as it isnt really a special occasion. Her Dad unexpectedly got the day off and we are planning to go swimming at the new aquatic center in the next town over and do some shopping, maybe dinner. I decided to do it because DH has been working even more than usual lately, and because of school there has been many days in the last few weeks when DD didnt even get to see him, and that makes her sad. So I thought we needed some family time.

Anyways, as I said, I was hesitant, as I dont think parents should take their kids out for no reason, but her teachers response when I messaged her last night that we were taking some family time was 'What a good idea!'. I thought that was a bit of an extreme reaction?

I think you could easily impress upon her that this is somewhat of a special circumstance. Maybe special 'occasion' is the wrong word as this isn't a particular day or no specific event is going on...but the circumstances are special in that you are focusing on some family time that sounds like it has been lacking as of late since DH has been working so hard. So there is a reason...its a special opportunity.

As long as thats communicated somehow to the child that seems to still count in my eyes.

bunnyfufu's picture
Joined: 10/21/05
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"ftmom" wrote:

Anyways, as I said, I was hesitant, as I dont think parents should take their kids out for no reason, but her teachers response when I messaged her last night that we were taking some family time was 'What a good idea!'. I thought that was a bit of an extreme reaction?

You know, today is our last day before spring break and we were talking about just going to get our son out of school early just because. I may do it. Smile

And re: the teachers response. . . I think she is just trying to say that she fully supports your doing it.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4087

I've done it. I do call her in sick, though, so the school still gets their money because "experiencing life" and "family time" are not excused absences. One time we were camping up on Mt. Tam with no cell reception, and Tiven thought it was super funny that I drove down closer to town just to call the school. I also took her out early to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday. We headed out before traffic got bad, and then leisurely visited Sutter's Fort and Old Sacramento before making our way to the restaurant, and the day was so much nicer than if we'd sat in stop & go traffic all the way because we left her at school another three hours.

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

I think it is fine. We take the kids out for special reasons-- this year they missed 2 days so that we could take a whole family trip to the Midwest for Thanksgiving. And we'll take them out for a full week in May to spend a week at the beach as a family.

I think they learn just as much, if not more, with us for a week. They'll spend time with grandparents, reading, learning about the ocean, biology, we go to an aquarium, spend time on a boat, see a different part of the country, fly on an airplane, etc.

While it may not be measured on a test, it is learning, that IMO is just as important as the book stuff.

Were my children not thriving academically, I may take a different stance. And were the eldest older than 4th grade, it might skew my perspective. But at this point, it doesn't even give me pause.

Have fun!

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

I think it is fine. We take the kids out for special reasons-- this year they missed 2 days so that we could take a whole family trip to the Midwest for Thanksgiving. And we'll take them out for a full week in May to spend a week at the beach as a family.

I think they learn just as much, if not more, with us for a week. They'll spend time with grandparents, reading, learning about the ocean, biology, we go to an aquarium, spend time on a boat, see a different part of the country, fly on an airplane, etc.

While it may not be measured on a test, it is learning, that IMO is just as important as the book stuff.

Were my children not thriving academically, I may take a different stance. And were the eldest older than 4th grade, it might skew my perspective. But at this point, it doesn't even give me pause.

Have fun!

indigoV51's picture
Joined: 09/19/03
Posts: 101

We let our kids age 10 and 13 take a "personal" day once before Christmas break and once after. They can't have tests or projects due. I think it is important to have some down time to enjoy life. We are not overly structured and my kids seem to do better because of it.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 780

Jace has only missed one day of school due to me having an appendectomy. He likes going to school and the YMCA before and after school so me letting him miss a day of school here and there would piss him off, lol. If I drop him off later in the morning where he cannot go to the YMCA before school care, he gets really disappointed because they do a lot of activities, play with toys, run around etc. After school he actually does his homework there and it's really cute because kids in higher grades help him and when I look over the work later at home I make sure he understood everything he did and what they showed him. We experience a lot of life during the weekends and having consistent attendance at school is important to me. I don't see anything wrong with any above examples, though. If in the future we plan a Disney trip and its cheaper to miss some school days, then I would allow it.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

This just came up with one of my students today. Her mother kept her home from school yesterday and took her to Disney for some mother-daughter bonding time. While I think that is a lovely idea, this particular child is likely going to be retained because she is struggling to keep up academically. If your kid is struggling and not meeting the state standards, their behind better be at school unless they are seriously ill. But that's just my opinion.....

indigoV51's picture
Joined: 09/19/03
Posts: 101

My ten year old really struggles with school. He is in special math and reading classes. While I am sure the two days a year we let him skip is not helping his schooling, it is helping him bond to us which I think will be far more important in the years to come. Everyone needs a mental health day.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"indigoV51" wrote:

My ten year old really struggles with school. He is in special math and reading classes. While I am sure the two days a year we let him skip is not helping his schooling, it is helping him bond to us which I think will be far more important in the years to come. Everyone needs a mental health day.

You can't bond in the evenings? Or on the weekends? Not on holidays? Or during the summer? What about Spring Break? Maybe Christmas Break? Seriously, kids get 180 days to learn a ridiculous amount of things and master an insane amount of skills. Missing even two days can be detrimental to the progress of a struggling student.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

Funny story. I went to pick DD up,and surprised her just when lunch started. She was happy to see me, gave me a big hug. Then I asked if she wanted to come with me. Her response....no! She wanted to stay at school until I spilled the beans that we were going swimming.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3179

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

You can't bond in the evenings? Or on the weekends? Not on holidays? Or during the summer? What about Spring Break? Maybe Christmas Break? Seriously, kids get 180 days to learn a ridiculous amount of things and master an insane amount of skills. Missing even two days can be detrimental to the progress of a struggling student.

I think that for a kid who's struggling in school, there is value to an extra day off too. He's struggling, school is difficult, sometimes an unscheduled day away that isn't already a holiday can be very beneficial. Two days a year is not a big deal.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

As a parent I feel it is my job to do everything I can to help my children succeed. If my kids are struggling in school then it is my duty to make sure they are there on time and ready to learn every day so they can receive the instruction they need to master the required skills. I don't see how a fun day at a water park is more beneficial for them than maximizing their education.

Joined: 03/08/03
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"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

As a parent I feel it is my job to do everything I can to help my children succeed. If my kids are struggling in school then it is my duty to make sure they are there on time and ready to learn every day so they can receive the instruction they need to master the required skills. I don't see how a fun day at a water park is more beneficial for them than maximizing their education.

Sometimes the pressure of the struggle can be intense. I remember seeing kids go through it. Getting a break from the pressure can be incredibly helpful. I was a little school-loving kid but it wasn't like every day was intensely valuable, even to a kid like me who was eager to learn and liked it.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

I'd rather teach my child to cope with the pressure than to avoid it. Education is necessary in today's world, and 180 days a year really isn't asking too much. Kids have plenty of breaks.....Summer Break, Spring Break, Fall Break, Christmas Break, weekends, evenings, teacher workdays, etc. It is understandable to miss when you are sick or have doctor's appointments. Life happens. But to blow off learning for a trip to the beach or a shopping spree? Not if you are already struggling to keep up....that's irresponsible.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6545

I do not believe one or two days a year would harm anything even for a struggling student. Taking time off in excess, I believe would be, but one or two days could be beneficial.

Even just taking a day to go over all the school work and give one on one attention to figure out what the child does not understand could help a lot. I remember in college having one class that I was really struggling with. DH was my boyfriend at the time. I had a absolute break down upset that I could not understand. He happened to be in the same class. He took my notes and went back to the begining and helped me to understand what I was doing wrong and to get back on track. I finished that semester with an A. It is possible that taking your child out for one day to spend time with them and to figure out why they are struggling in school could be the best possible solution.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
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I dont think missing one or two days a year is going to make or break a whole year for a child, even one struggling. I may have different outlook because my parent took us out a few times a year to take family days. They would take us places that would provide an awesome learning opportunity. One time we went to the redwoods (pretty close to us) and taught us mapping skills, my brother now makes topographical maps.
I agree that students have plenty of days off, but unless their parents are teachers it may not work out to do things on those days. My dad was a firefighter and did safety things at a saw mill, he worked a lot. Those days that he pulled us out and used it for a family day were huge for us growing up.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

I've read all the posts, and I see everyone's point. I agree with a lot, disagree with a few. Philosophically, I am of the mindset that my life and schedule should be more tailored around my children's school schedules. I won't keep my child out of school because I might have an appointment or some other event that prevents me from getting my kid to school. I'll find another way. Their lives stay as normal as possible in the face of my own personal agenda or whatever. I might feel like a day off would be good for us - play hooky and go someplace fun for the kids for a half a day or whatever. But then I have to remind myself that I am really throwing them for a loop by disrupting their weekly routine. Yeah, it sounds kind of lame, but when I think about it I really, really am messing with them. Also, by introducing the 'let's take a day off life' thing I could be setting myself up for requests for MORE of those days off and having to explain why THAT day was okay but THIS day is not. School is not optional. You go. Every day. Pile on me for being hard-a$$ed about it, but that's the way we roll in this family.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

I do not believe one or two days a year would harm anything even for a struggling student. Taking time off in excess, I believe would be, but one or two days could be beneficial.

Even just taking a day to go over all the school work and give one on one attention to figure out what the child does not understand could help a lot. I remember in college having one class that I was really struggling with. DH was my boyfriend at the time. I had a absolute break down upset that I could not understand. He happened to be in the same class. He took my notes and went back to the begining and helped me to understand what I was doing wrong and to get back on track. I finished that semester with an A. It is possible that taking your child out for one day to spend time with them and to figure out why they are struggling in school could be the best possible solution.

If I want to find out what my child is struggling with I'll help them with their homework in the evenings. I'll schedule a conference with the teacher and ask specific questions. I will review all of their classwork and tests to look for weaknesses. I'll observe them in the classroom. If warranted, I'll request additional testing to see if my child has a SLD or some sort of impairment. I will not pull them out of school for the day unless they are ill or there is a death in the family.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

I have no problem with it at all, but I look at it this way.. the majority of school work (academics can be done in about 2-4 hours a day.. including highschool.. I did it when I missed over 40 days my freshman year. ) if the child applies themselves. The rest is corralling and training them to sit, and music.pe, art, recess, lunch, not actually doing work... But I don't value the in class time as much as some parents. For TESTS - Kids can do just as well in standardized testing doing 2-4 hours a day of focused work, and the rest lifestyle of learning.. like learning to cook, garden, play, clean, sports, music, art etc etc... That is what the majority of homeschoolers I know do.. And their children all are placing high in testing.. They start about 8 go till lunch and the rest is fun stuff, or older ones are doing projects, or reading, or writing essays etc. We school year round unlike the majority, so do have the availability to take off whenever we want which has been nice with my chronic migraine/ndph.. I do think if you pull your child TOO much from a PS situation you should consider just homeschooling, as you are not helping the teacher, and may end up blaming their teacher if your child gets behind. You as the parent should take responsibility if you choose to do that.

indigoV51's picture
Joined: 09/19/03
Posts: 101

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

You can't bond in the evenings? Or on the weekends? Not on holidays? Or during the summer? What about Spring Break? Maybe Christmas Break? Seriously, kids get 180 days to learn a ridiculous amount of things and master an insane amount of skills. Missing even two days can be detrimental to the progress of a struggling student.

We don't eat dinner until 6:30 since that is when my dh gets home. Then it is bedtime at 8. There is really no downtime in the evenings. Weekends are for catching up on chores or other family obligations. The one on one time where only one kid and I can play together is valuable. I think the personal time that we get to spend together is going to help him a lot more emotionally in the long run then missing a day of school that he is probably not even paying attention.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3179

"indigoV51" wrote:

We don't eat dinner until 6:30 since that is when my dh gets home. Then it is bedtime at 8. There is really no downtime in the evenings. Weekends are for catching up on chores or other family obligations. The one on one time where only one kid and I can play together is valuable. I think the personal time that we get to spend together is going to help him a lot more emotionally in the long run then missing a day of school that he is probably not even paying attention.

Thank you, I was having trouble articulating that.

Two days out of the school year is not a big deal unless there has already been a lot of school missed due to illness or something like that. Even my kids' teachers agree with that.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"indigoV51" wrote:

We don't eat dinner until 6:30 since that is when my dh gets home. Then it is bedtime at 8. There is really no downtime in the evenings. Weekends are for catching up on chores or other family obligations. The one on one time where only one kid and I can play together is valuable. I think the personal time that we get to spend together is going to help him a lot more emotionally in the long run then missing a day of school that he is probably not even paying attention.

So the only fun time you get to spend with your children is when you pull them out of school? Perhaps you need to make some changes in your household then. And if your child is probably not paying attention in school.....perhaps even more changes need to be made.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 780

"Rivergallery" wrote:

I have no problem with it at all, but I look at it this way.. the majority of school work (academics can be done in about 2-4 hours a day.. including highschool.. I did it when I missed over 40 days my freshman year. ) if the child applies themselves. The rest is corralling and training them to sit, and music.pe, art, recess, lunch, not actually doing work... But I don't value the in class time as much as some parents. For TESTS - Kids can do just as well in standardized testing doing 2-4 hours a day of focused work, and the rest lifestyle of learning.. like learning to cook, garden, play, clean, sports, music, art etc etc... That is what the majority of homeschoolers I know do.. And their children all are placing high in testing.. They start about 8 go till lunch and the rest is fun stuff, or older ones are doing projects, or reading, or writing essays etc. We school year round unlike the majority, so do have the availability to take off whenever we want which has been nice with my chronic migraine/ndph.. I do think if you pull your child TOO much from a PS situation you should consider just homeschooling, as you are not helping the teacher, and may end up blaming their teacher if your child gets behind. You as the parent should take responsibility if you choose to do that.

2-4 hours of focused school work... Does that successfully prepare homeschooled students for college coursework when usually homework for EACH class is 2-4 hours (studying and what not)?

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3179

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

2-4 hours of focused school work... Does that successfully prepare homeschooled students for college coursework when usually homework for EACH class is 2-4 hours (studying and what not)?

Yikes, when does that hit? 2-4 hours? Right now my 4th grader has 20-30 minutes a night, and some of that is reading which he does anyway because he loves it.

Honestly 2-4 hours is preposterous. That's another debate unto itself -- homework. But when does this 2-hour thing kick in?

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
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"freddieflounder101" wrote:

Yikes, when does that hit? 2-4 hours? Right now my 4th grader has 20-30 minutes a night, and some of that is reading which he does anyway because he loves it.

Honestly 2-4 hours is preposterous. That's another debate unto itself -- homework. But when does this 2-hour thing kick in?

I am talking about homework and studying in college. Rivergallery said the homeschooled children only focus on school work for 2 hours and then they do fun stuff. Public schooling the children are in school for about 6-7 hours. I don't know if 2 hours of focused school work properly prepares the home schooled children for when they go to college and they will have to focus more than 2 hours. That's why I asked for clarification Smile

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

Well, I obviously feel that it is OK to occasionally take a child out of class for family time, as I did it Smile But if I had a struggling student, I think I would talk to the teacher first about it. There would be times that are better to do it then others. For example, I know that most classes do Art on Friday afternoons. Because there is only 2 1/2 hours in the afternoon at our school, there is often very little else done except some reading, which if you read every day with your child is not a big deal to miss. Many classes also have other days were they have less academic stuff stacked together, like music, PE, and buddy reading in the same afternoon. Those days would be better to miss from an academic standpoint then others.

The problem that I see (and why I was hesitant) is when the message is sent that we can miss school because education is not important. I think if you pull out too often this can happen, and then your kid could be in real trouble. I think if you explain to your child why they are missing (ie, Daddy has been so busy and we have all been missing him so we thought it was important to spend some time together), make it a special 'event' (not just miss school to hang around the house), and make sure that school is the priority the rest of the time (make sure they get there on time every day, do their homework, go to parent teacher interviews, communicate with the teacher, and make sure the student sees you take an interest in how they are doing) then one or two days should be fine.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

Just wanted to add, there is some thing to be said for what my husband calls 'social capital' which is cool things your kid has done that makes them feel special and that they can tell their friends about, leverage into games, stories etc. Having many experiences to draw from can help give a child confidence and social capital. I think that is pretty important for success in life as well, so I could also support pulling a child out for an opportunity that comes along rarely, or might never come again. Like a special show or activity.

Joined: 03/08/03
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I assumed it was a given that no one was talking about pulling their kid out of school and saying, "Who cares? It's just school!" Smile

Yeah...the idea isn't to minimize the importance of school to your child. If my son is sick OR out for some other reason, we still get his homework and we stress all year how important it is. (Juliet's in kindergarten so it's not quite the same, she loves it every day. Who wouldn't?)

And definitely picking the right day is important too!

indigoV51's picture
Joined: 09/19/03
Posts: 101

"ftmom" wrote:

Just wanted to add, there is some thing to be said for what my husband calls 'social capital' which is cool things your kid has done that makes them feel special and that they can tell their friends about, leverage into games, stories etc. Having many experiences to draw from can help give a child confidence and social capital. I think that is pretty important for success in life as well, so I could also support pulling a child out for an opportunity that comes along rarely, or might never come again. Like a special show or activity.

Exactly. When I look back upon my childhood I don't think of all the times I went to school, I look back on the special days where I did things with just my mom or dad. I felt like I was worth so much since it was a day they made special for no reason. As for changes in my house.....I am happy with how things are going. And my kids both have adhd so even with meds focusing is always going to be an issue.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Yeah, I don't buy the every day is a precious gem of learning stuff. Not to underplay the importance, education is super important to us ~ but learning happens by the boatload at home, too. This year really showed us that as my kid has a craptastic kindy teacher (she's a LTS as his teacher had a baby the third week of school, the sub has never had a class before) Rather than worry about it we have just worked more with him at home, he is reading like a champ and right where he should be, despite captain moron at the helm of his class. Now that our kids are hitting school age we are also enrolling them in summer educational camps, so I guess that could more than make up for any time they take during a school year. We plan to take them out of school for a straight week every February for a family vacation starting next year. We used to take a 10 day ski trip out west every winter when I was growing up, all through middle and high school. I always took my work, and did it diligently after a day of skiing. Those trips are literally some of my favorite memories of childhood and of my family. It didn't impact my GPA one bit. My teachers used to grumble, but my parents didn't care. My Dad was a workaholic so wasn't around a lot, and those times were really important to us as a family.

Kyla I couldn't agree more with social capital. Nobody will ever convince me that a trip to europe, or south america or a week on a working ranch, or learning to ski, or hiking the grand canyon, or whatever our vacation that year will be is not broadening a kids horizon and opening their eyes and mind more than that week in school would be doing.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

While I agree that hiking the grand canyon is pretty awesome....my child being promoted to the next grade is even more awesome. I would never jeopardize that for a family vacation that could be postponed until a scheduled school break. If my child was meeting standards with flying colors - well, then that's another story.

Look, I don't think anyone is saying that family time or vacations aren't important. They definitely are. But a child's job is to go to school and learn. And if they are falling behind at that job then unscheduled breaks "just because" probably aren't a good idea.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6545

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

2-4 hours of focused school work... Does that successfully prepare homeschooled students for college coursework when usually homework for EACH class is 2-4 hours (studying and what not)?

I will say that I know a lot of homeschoolers. I do not know any that spend more than 2-4 hours a day doing actual sit down and write work. Children in a classroom do not either. There is a lot of time waiting for all the kids to finish, changing classes, PE, and other activities. Homeschooling just groups all of the seat work together. As for only doing 2-4 hours at a time not preparing you for college, at least at my college, you had a few classes a day and most of the work was done out of class. The homeschoolers that I do know that were homeschooled all the way through have done very well in college. The Valedictorian of my college class was homeschooled and graduated college with a 4.0.

Not saying that homeschooling is for everyone (It is not), but verifying that most homeschoolers do do less than 4 hours of sit down work a day.

Joined: 05/31/06
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"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

While I agree that hiking the grand canyon is pretty awesome....my child being promoted to the next grade is even more awesome. I would never jeopardize that for a family vacation that could be postponed until a scheduled school break. If my child was meeting standards with flying colors - well, then that's another story.

Look, I don't think anyone is saying that family time or vacations aren't important. They definitely are. But a child's job is to go to school and learn. And if they are falling behind at that job then unscheduled breaks "just because" probably aren't a good idea.

Totally agree with you on the bolded. And I admit, having a child skip a grade is not a goal of mine (I've seen the social and emotional downside to that in the lower grades), I'd rather enrich their learning with out of school resources, which are available to us.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

I will say that I know a lot of homeschoolers. I do not know any that spend more than 2-4 hours a day doing actual sit down and write work. Children in a classroom do not either. There is a lot of time waiting for all the kids to finish, changing classes, PE, and other activities. Homeschooling just groups all of the seat work together. As for only doing 2-4 hours at a time not preparing you for college, at least at my college, you had a few classes a day and most of the work was done out of class. The homeschoolers that I do know that were homeschooled all the way through have done very well in college. The Valedictorian of my college class was homeschooled and graduated college with a 4.0.

Not saying that homeschooling is for everyone (It is not), but verifying that most homeschoolers do do less than 4 hours of sit down work a day.

Thats wild. I was taking 2 Ap classes and honor classes my JR year and 3 AP classes and honor classes my Sr yr and I spent a lot more time than that on actual school work. Heck, art was a passion of mine and it took up a huge amount of time. I don't know if you know much about schools these days but (unfortunately) PE is not like a big part (or, a part) of most kids days. Granted my campus was very small so we didn't have to spend a lot of time moving from one class to another and we didn't have a cafeteria.....but, seeing as your children are in, like kindergarten or so, do you really think you have a great grasp on what their coursework may look like when they are 17?

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"Potter75" wrote:

Totally agree with you on the bolded. And I admit, having a child skip a grade is not a goal of mine (I've seen the social and emotional downside to that in the lower grades), I'd rather enrich their learning with out of school resources, which are available to us.

Oh, I'm all about enrichment through trips and unique experiences. I'm not even opposed to doing that on a school day if the child is doing well academically. My daughter will be missing a day of school mid-April for a ballet test. She's testing for Grade II of Cecchetti Ballet, something she has worked very hard for all year. Because she is doing well in school I certainly won't deny her that experience and will likely take her out for a treat afterward to reward all her hard work. If she were struggling to keep up academically, the ballet test would just have to wait until next year. Education will always take priority over dance.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

That is awesome and congrats to her!!! I think we are on the same page Smile Were my child/ren struggling I would rethink our vacation/hire a tutor/whatever it took. My kids aren't there yet so I'm speaking hypothetically, this is just our plan/my theory.

indigoV51's picture
Joined: 09/19/03
Posts: 101

But what about the kids that are just not academically minded? I loved school and did very well. My brother on the other hand struggled with every subject. He would try and just not get it. Today he is a manager of a casino and makes $150 thousand a year. Clearly his academic failings have not hurt him.

One of my kids is amazingly gifted but the other one struggles with reading. He goes to special classes and has trouble with self esteem. I think for him it is more important that we spend time with him as a person letting him know that he is worth more to us then just a reading grade. We believe in living up to the best of your potential but not all kids are equal. Doing your best is what really counts.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6545

"Potter75" wrote:

Thats wild. I was taking 2 Ap classes and honor classes my JR year and 3 AP classes and honor classes my Sr yr and I spent a lot more time than that on actual school work. Heck, art was a passion of mine and it took up a huge amount of time. I don't know if you know much about schools these days but (unfortunately) PE is not like a big part (or, a part) of most kids days. Granted my campus was very small so we didn't have to spend a lot of time moving from one class to another and we didn't have a cafeteria.....but, seeing as your children are in, like kindergarten or so, do you really think you have a great grasp on what their coursework may look like when they are 17?

Admittedly most the homeschoolers I know personally are in elementary school (My oldest is in 2nd). I still do not believe that most high schoolers spend 8 hours a day of class time doing seat work. I would doubt even in most high schools there are more than 2-4 hours of instruction a day.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3303

"indigoV51" wrote:

But what about the kids that are just not academically minded? I loved school and did very well. My brother on the other hand struggled with every subject. He would try and just not get it. Today he is a manager of a casino and makes $150 thousand a year. Clearly his academic failings have not hurt him.

One of my kids is amazingly gifted but the other one struggles with reading. He goes to special classes and has trouble with self esteem. I think for him it is more important that we spend time with him as a person letting him know that he is worth more to us then just a reading grade. We believe in living up to the best of your potential but not all kids are equal. Doing your best is what really counts.

I can see where you are coming from. If i child is struggling academically for any reason aside from them not valuing their education or understanding their responsibilities....i really don't see how taking them out two days for some sort of family bonding/special event will poorly effect them.

One of my kids struggles a lot more academically than the rest. But she is a good listener at school, does her homework responsibly, works hard on the things that are challenging to her. Taking her out of school on an very infrequent basis would not change anything just because she doesn't figure out work with the same ease the others do.

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