Kids - Ours or the communities? - Page 3
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Thread: Kids - Ours or the communities?

  1. #21
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    I think I'm missing something.

    First, no one is taking away your authority as a mother because now MAP is available without a prescription for all women seeking them. The government or community is NOT telling your child they must seek this out. You still get to be the parent and set the limits in your home. If I would prefer my daughters not use tampons because of the TSS risk I can teach them and guide them but they get to still go down to CVS or Target and buy them..don't they?

    Second, I don't think saying our kids belong to the community is a bad thing. They do and they should. We need to be investing in our children and more than I see currently. Helping public school systems so all of our kids get a great education, not just those in high income suburbs and private schools. Making sure money is set aside for Rec programs in town benefits everyone etc. This is what I took from saying the kids belong to the community.

    I don't quite understand where you get the idea that because we are okay with teens being able to purchase the MAP without hassle equals that we've given up parenting to the community. I think that might be what you are getting at?
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

  2. #22
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    I totally & wholeheartedly agree with this. I look at some of my neighbors who spend $30K a year on private school because the local public school doesn't offer art, music, or more than an hour a week of PE. Sure, their kids are benefitting from that investment, but just imagine what $30K could do for all of the 250 kids at our neighborhood school. That's weekly art classes for every student! The private school requires a time investment from each family of 20 hours per semester. Imagine what the local public school could do with a few parents willing to make that commitment! Our kids need safe places to study & play after school. Hiring a sitter satisfies that for you & your kids, but what about pooling resources together and supporting a neighborhood space for *all* of the kids? Things like that can make a huge difference for another child and don't cost more than what these people are already willing to pay to make a difference for their own kids. I can't afford to donate money to our school, but DH & I donate a lot of our time because it benefits all the kids, not just our own.
    Stuff like this doesn't take just money it takes time and planning. Who wants to donate their child's education for the hopes that someone will appropriately execute these ideas that you are throwing out here?

    I agree with the message as a whole, but i don't think the solution is to make everyone who doesn't like their public school and would send their kid to private school to blindly throw that money to the public school system instead.

    I send Emma to private school. The others go to the local public school. Even knowing that some of that money i spent on Emma's education would theoretically reach my own kids in public school, i still wouldn't just want to donate it. Thats asking me to sacrifice a lot with no guarantee of good returns for anyone.

    Solutions have to be a lot better planned, organized and structured than wealthier people just throwing whatever money they may invest on their own child into a public system. And i don't think that 'every child is our child' means that you put every childs priorities above your own child's.
    Last edited by KimPossible; 04-09-2013 at 09:19 AM.
    Emma 08/31/01
    Aodhan 07/24/03
    Lillian 03/04/05
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  3. #23
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    And I'll be totally honest...we stopped sending the other kids to private school because of the financial cost. however when we stopped sending Aodhan and Lillian, i probably could have taken some of what i was spending on their private education and given it to the public schools, but i didn't. I wanted to use it on my own family, to enrich our lives and plan better for our future. If i had it to do over again...i'd do the same. I don't know...maybe i don't agree with the message in the video afterall. I'm not so keen on sacrificing my abilities to enrich my own kids lives on a whim and a prayer that it might be effectively used on someone elses kid.

    Like it sounds nice when verbalized....but i guess in reality i don't look down on anyone who decides to spend their money on their own kids.

  4. #24
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    I am a bit confused as well. Are we debating this woman and what she said when discussing the public school system? I see her being accused of all sorts of ideas all over the web that she doesn't seem to have. She doesn't want to take away parental authority.
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  5. #25
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    I do not give the money I spend on private school to the public school so other kids could take a class or have an extra PE day. In fact, I would argue that those of us that send our kids to private are doing a huge good deed for public school. I still pay taxes to the schools, but my kids are not taking up the 3 spots they would be.
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    Lisa
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  6. #26
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClairesMommy View Post
    Bonita, I haven't read where anyone thinks the common good is better than the parents' right to make certain decisions. I also think that the terms 'community' and 'common good' aren't interchangeable.

    I live in a much more socialist country than you. Here (and trust me, some people are pretty un-socialist) there is just a way of life that we all contribute, in one way or another, to the collective benefit of each other, whether we fundamentally believe in what we're supporting or not. That is the way of socialism. And aside from the financial aspect of higher taxes and so forth, I guess there's less of an air of 'Not my kid so why should I care?' IDK. It's hard to explain. Can Kyla or Fuschia or another Canadian help me out with what I'm getting at? I don't want to come across like Americans are too me me me and to heck with you all, because I know darned well that's an unfair generalization, but I do definitely feel like a substantial percentage of Americans are extremely capitalistic and don't want to contribute one extra hard-earned red cent to a program they may not necessarily support, or to caring about what type of curriculum might not just benefit their child, but the classroom or school as a whole.
    Well, you are in Alberta, so there is a huge difference in the school system and how it is perceived I think. Here in BC I dont see people caring about other children's education at all. All I see is cuts, cuts, cuts. I am a teacher in the public school system and I would send my kids to private school if it was available and I could afford it. I truly believe that every child deserves a good education and it is our responsibility to make sure they get it. I just dont see that happening right now.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    What exactly is it you want to debate?
    When I posted the original thread, I was thinking who has the ultimate authority on a child. The parents, or the community. The debate can be whatever the other people debating it want to be.
    Last edited by AlyssaEimers; 04-09-2013 at 09:55 AM. Reason: To add the word other.
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  8. #28
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    I don't think it's about giving money to the public schools. Who does that, on an individual level?

    I also think that if the public schools around you are terrible, then of course you send your kids to private school. We must look out for our own kids, no one's suggesting we abdicate responsibility.

    But we, collectively, should think bigger. Think about our kids as a generation instead of just grabbing what we can for ourselves. Work with other parents towards better programs in our public schools.

    I am lucky to live in a community where parents are very involved (sometimes over-involved I think but that's another debate). We have a lunchtime enrichment program that parents contribute to, the PTA funds a ton of activities as well as supplies for the classrooms, they do fundraisers for smartboards, etc. Some contribute time instead of money.

    I don't have a practical answer for how to fix the system, but I think step one is a shift in thinking, which is exactly what she's talking about.
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  9. #29
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    I agree with what Laurie has said.

    For your question, authority is on the parents. Although, authority always sounds so negative to me. My goal is not to control my kids it is to guide them in their decision making. I have the authority to do things though like give them permission to go to a friend's house or not or what we're having for dinner etc. I don't plan to run my kids lives.
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom3girls View Post
    In fact, I would argue that those of us that send our kids to private are doing a huge good deed for public school. I still pay taxes to the schools, but my kids are not taking up the 3 spots they would be.

    I don't really agree with this. I don't see it as like some Mother Theresa sort of saintly great deed for parents who have resources and means to take their children out of the Public school system and enroll them in private schools. Schools need a lot more than parents tax dollars, they need PTO money, and fundraising money, and involved volunteers to make a public school successful. We are so blessed to have a 75% parental involvement rate at our children's public school ~ it is a huge part of what makes their school a great one. I don't feel any special gratitude for parents who send their children to private school but pay their taxes because they are required to.

    I've also never, ever, met anyone, in the entire world, who would say that their community has the final say in parenting. I guess that is why I don't understand the debate.
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