Kids wearing make-up

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Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261
Kids wearing make-up

Not sure if this has been covered yet.

Was reading an article about Claudia Schiffier's (sp?) 9 yr old - it had pictures from a permier I think and her daughter appeared to be wearing make-up.

What is wrong with a child wearing it? Or is it ok to you?

I'm not sure how I stand with this one. My DD is 3 weeks away from turning 3 and she loves make-up! I haven't got a problem with her trying to wear it. I don't know, maybe my stance will change as she gets older... but what is yours?

xx

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

My girls wear make-up for dance performances and I have no problem with it. The oldest one isn't a huge fan of it but understands the need for it when on stage. The youngest adores it and thinks it makes her look like a princess.

Neither will be wearing make-up for everyday events (school, church, the mall, etc.) until they are at least teenagers. I don't have a set age that I consider it acceptable to wear make-up. We'll discuss it with them when the time comes.

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

Journi's 3 weeks younger than your dd and absolutely loves makeup as well. It's definitely a phase. In our house, they can put on as much makeup as they want at home, but until they are around 13 (7th grade) they are not to wear it for public appearances and even then it's very light. One of my dd's still isn't very interested in it, wearing it only for formal events. My other older dd had to be reined in a bit as she loves makeup as well and had a tendency to overdo it when first starting to wear it publicly.

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

In our house there is a difference between wearing play make-up in the house as part of dress up and wearing make-up for the reason of enhancing one's appearance in public. We allow the former and not the later. Play make-up is just for that...to play. I put Halloween make-up in this category. That said, we did not encourage play make-up (like buy our kids make-up to play with) and DD nor DS were interested in it so that was fine. However, make-up worn in a way to enhance one's features is not something we want our kids to really think about right now. DD is 10 and likes lip glosses because of the cool packages and smells and we are OK with her wearing that because we use chapstick regularly anyway. But nothing other then that.

Not a big fan of some dance teams and cheerleader make-up either.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3317

"culturedmom" wrote:

In our house there is a difference between wearing play make-up in the house as part of dress up and wearing make-up for the reason of enhancing one's appearance in public. We allow the former and not the later. Play make-up is just for that...to play. I put Halloween make-up in this category. That said, we did not encourage play make-up (like buy our kids make-up to play with) and DD nor DS were interested in it so that was fine. However, make-up worn in a way to enhance one's features is not something we want our kids to really think about right now. DD is 10 and likes lip glosses because of the cool packages and smells and we are OK with her wearing that because we use chapstick regularly anyway. But nothing other then that.

Not a big fan of some dance teams and cheerleader make-up either.

This is pretty similar to us.

I don't actively discourage play makeup...but i don't encourage it much either. Maybe sometimes i do a little bit. I gave them lip glosses in their stockings one year. They were in a Christmas Tree shaped container and were cute. It was of the play variety, not to wear out. Lillian picked out a play beauty set at Target with some money she had. I didn't tell her no.

As for dance, Lillian is in Kindergarten and just had her recital. I put absolutely no makeup on her. She didn't ask for any...it didn't even enter her mind. If she had asked, at her age i would have let her put on a little lip gloss and thats it, and only for the recital.

There were 4 year olds that had amazing amounts of make up on. Full base, rosey cheeks blue eyeshadow, glitter everywhere.

Not a personal fan of that. Won't be doing it in my house.

ETA: Emma is almost 10. Has never worn any make up aside from playing at home. These days she doesn't even seem to have any interest in the play stuff either. I'll ride this train as long as I can.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

If my girls had any I would be ok with play make up at home, but non outside of home until a teenager. I have put lip gloss on them before but that is all. I think my girls are very pretty without it and if the point of make up is to attract male attention, I do not want male attention drawn to my 6 year old.

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

I rarely wear make up, and when I do it's very minimal. My older DD does like putting on 'lipstick' but it's just chapstick.

I'm not a fan of little girls in make up for any reason. Even for performances or pageants. I will support it though when my girls are teens. And when that time comes they'll get a good lesson on how to tastefully apply it so it highlights their natural beauty.

Being an esthetician by trade, it's something I think about. When I used to work in the business there were so many reasons women had cosmetic procedures done (waxing, make up, mani/pedi). I think most of those reasons were very valid, but it's a fine line as to what age it becomes appropriate. If only to encourage a healthy attitude about make up (or any kind of temporary physical alteration) in our next generation.

fudd8963's picture
Joined: 12/27/07
Posts: 1630

"culturedmom" wrote:

In our house there is a difference between wearing play make-up in the house as part of dress up and wearing make-up for the reason of enhancing one's appearance in public. We allow the former and not the later. Play make-up is just for that...to play. I put Halloween make-up in this category. That said, we did not encourage play make-up (like buy our kids make-up to play with) and DD nor DS were interested in it so that was fine. However, make-up worn in a way to enhance one's features is not something we want our kids to really think about right now. DD is 10 and likes lip glosses because of the cool packages and smells and we are OK with her wearing that because we use chapstick regularly anyway. But nothing other then that.

Not a big fan of some dance teams and cheerleader make-up either.

I like the way you put it! Luckily our girls are only 2, so we haven't had to deal with this yet. But I did go to a dance recitel a few weeks ago and was SHOCKED at the amount of makeup on some of the 3-6 year olds. I also was a cheerleader for 16 years and then coached for another 3. It was high school, but the makeup and outfits some of the 5 year olds wore was CRAZY! But that's a whole nother topic!

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

I'm in the ok to play with at home, wait until 13 for daily wear in public and wearing for performances whether they be dance, acting, or pageants. My Grandmother sells Mary Kay and everyone chipped in to pay for me to get the things she showed me how to use on my 13 birthday. Take out the terrible perm that came with it and that's what I'd do for any future daughters.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I'm like Kim and Lana and Jordan. My daughter had her dance recital (it's for fun, nothing more serious, she just turned 3 a few months back!) and she wore some clear lip gloss, that was all. Was floored my her peers wearing MASCARA, full glitter hair/body stuff, eye shadow etc. Looked trashy to me, it isn't for us.

I don't know when my daughter will wear make up. 13? 14? I guess it depends on what she wants and how we feel at that time. I'm a very very minimal make up wearer as are most of my family and friends, so I hope that that influences her to choose tastefully as she gets to that age.

And Lillie, I had the terrible perm thing, too Smile It was like a rite of passage of middle school for my generation!

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

I applied makeup to my 4 y.o. for the first time on Saturday for her dance dress rehearsal - a little blush, a bit of sparkly eyeshadow, a bit of tinted gloss:


It wasn't optional - we were told to. I wasn't particularly fond of the idea, but I guess the bright theatre lights really make them look pale up there, IDK. I personally don't think it will make that big of a difference and even for the dress rehearsal I could barely see the makeup at all. This dance thing is all new to me! DD has a little bag with Lip Smacker flavoured chapsticks/balms and a few shimmery glosses, but that's the extent of her 'makeup'. She has never asked to wear face/eye makeup, but if she did I wouldn't have a problem with us doing it together as a play/dress-up thing in the house. I will not let her wear makeup as a regular thing out of the house until she's in her teens.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3317

"Claire'sMommy" wrote:

I applied makeup to my 4 y.o. for the first time on Saturday for her dance dress rehearsal - a little blush, a bit of sparkly eyeshadow, a bit of tinted gloss:


It wasn't optional - we were told to. I wasn't particularly fond of the idea, but I guess the bright theatre lights really make them look pale up there, IDK. I personally don't think it will make that big of a difference and even for the dress rehearsal I could barely see the makeup at all. This dance thing is all new to me! DD has a little bag with Lip Smacker flavoured chapsticks/balms and a few shimmery glosses, but that's the extent of her 'makeup'. She has never asked to wear face/eye makeup, but if she did I wouldn't have a problem with us doing it together as a play/dress-up thing in the house. I will not let her wear makeup as a regular thing out of the house until she's in her teens.

Oh i would not be happy if my kids dance school said they had to wear makeup at the age of 4 and it was not optional! I would probably try to get out of doing so.

Yes, the lights on stage can make them look pale...but really, when they are so little, who honestly cares? They look pale...they don't do all the dance movers perfectly, some of them just stand still or wave at their parents and everyone still oohs and ahhs over how cute they are.

Thats Lillian on stage with no makeup....i think she looked just fine for her age!

Your little one looks super cute. You def. went light on the makeup. I would have too if I was forced to do it.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

Kim, she looks adorable and I don't think she looks pale at all. My DD is very fair-skinned - that's just the way she is and I think at this age they shouldn't be forced to get too dolled up. I get that they want them to look fairly uniform in terms of hair style/no jewelry/no nail polish/no bright elastics/barrettes etc., but I just think makeup at this age is pretty unnecessary. They can't even wear their bangs down - they have to be pinned back like in DD's pics.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4103

Nope, no makeup here. Luckily with lion dancing they not only don't expect makeup, they don't allow it at all, or nail polish, or anything but very plain hair accessories. We did encounter play makeup once as a gift a couple of years ago, and we let her keep the lip gloss but that was it. DH isn't a fan of play things that we wouldn't let her do "for real," such as makeup or high heels. I'm more just not wanting to send the message to my daughter that she needs makeup to look better, or that makeup will make her look better, because neither are true. People are beautiful from within.

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

My girls wear make-up for dance performances and I have no problem with it. The oldest one isn't a huge fan of it but understands the need for it when on stage. The youngest adores it and thinks it makes her look like a princess.

Neither will be wearing make-up for everyday events (school, church, the mall, etc.) until they are at least teenagers. I don't have a set age that I consider it acceptable to wear make-up. We'll discuss it with them when the time comes.

Agree with this completely

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

My oldest is on the dance team and yes, make-up is required for competitions. Honestly, the girls that don't wear it (and there are very few) look washed out and rather silly. I don't think it looks "trashy", but I guess we're all entitled to our opinions.

My youngest takes a rec combo class, and while make-up isn't required for the recital she is excited about getting to wear it. We'll do blush, eyeshadow, and mascara and that will make her happy. No point in putting on lip gloss because she'll have that licked off before she ever goes out on stage.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Tanya, my post was about the other girls in my daughters 3 yo class, not competitive older dancers. I was not talking about your child. I admit that it seemed over the top and trashy to me on the tiny very uncompetitive cute little brand new dancers at the for fun recital.

My daughter didn't look silly or washed out, she looked three and adorable and very much like the majority of the other little girls on stage, I have plenty of pics to prove it Smile She doesn't need make up to look pretty or cute at this age. SHe isn't auditioning for a movie or anything.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"Potter75" wrote:

Tanya, my post was about the other girls in my daughters 3 yo class, not competitive older dancers. I was not talking about your child. I admit that it seemed over the top and trashy to me on the tiny very uncompetitive cute little brand new dancers at the for fun recital.

My daughter didn't look silly or washed out, she looked three and adorable and very much like the majority of the other little girls on stage, I have plenty of pics to prove it Smile She doesn't need make up to look pretty or cute at this age. SHe isn't auditioning for a movie or anything.

I find it interesting that you would never say that you didn't like or care for a particular child but you have no problem describing a child as "trashy." I don't really care what you consider my child to look like, I just find your ways to be a bit odd.

My comment about the girls looking "washed out" and "silly" wasn't directed at you or your child. I was talking about competitive dancers, which is what my entire first paragraph was about. A competitive football player wouldn't show up for a game without his pads.....a competitive dancer shouldn't show up to a competition without her make-up. Is make-up necessary for a recital? Absolutely not. Will the kids look washed out if they don't wear it? Most definitely. But since kiddos don't perform in recitals to be judged (especially by other mothers) it doesn't really matter if they look washed out, or know all the dance moves, or make up their own dance while they are out there, etc.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

The poor child didn't put the makeup on their own face their mother did it! I think that a mother dolling up her tiny child like that is trashy (wont lie), NOT the children! I feel badly for the children. Just like I have no problem saying a child acted selfishly or horribly, I would not define a child as selfish or horrible.....and I feel badly for children who are defined as horrible children by their family members rather than having their their behavior defined as such. I'm not saying that the child was trashy, but that the way their mother dolled them up in an unnecessary and (imo) inappropriate manner for a 3 year old seemed trashy to me.

I don't know what you mean about finding my ways odd, but thats okay. Honestly, I don't feel like debating this with you. I meant you none, zip, zero offense. At all. I was talking about the kids in my kids silly little for fun dance class. Now, my daughter is up so it is off to the playground for us.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"Potter75" wrote:

The poor child didn't put the makeup on their own face their mother did it! I think that a mother dolling up her tiny child like that is trashy (wont lie), NOT the children! I feel badly for the children. Just like I have no problem saying a child acted selfishly or horribly, I would not define a child as selfish or horrible.....and I feel badly for children who are defined as horrible children by their family members rather than having their their behavior defined as such. I'm not saying that the child was trashy, but that the way their mother dolled them up in an unnecessary and (imo) inappropriate manner for a 3 year old seemed trashy to me.

I don't know what you mean about finding my ways odd, but thats okay. Honestly, I don't feel like debating this with you. I meant you none, zip, zero offense. At all. I was talking about the kids in my kids silly little for fun dance class. Now, my daughter is up so it is off to the playground for us.

But what if the kids in your daughter's silly little for fun dance class asked for the make-up? Like I mentioned earlier, my youngest has seen the older girls with their make-up and expects the same when it is her turn to go on stage (which she has been anxiously awaiting for a year now). If I told her she couldn't wear the make-up because I thought it looked trashy I can guarantee there would be a meltdown and the silly little for fun recital would turn into a pout fest. Honestly, I don't see how some sparkly make-up could be deemed inappropriate for a dance recital, especially if it makes the child wearing it feel happy. I'm all about letting Madison have her day, and if she wants purple glitter eyeshadow that's what she'll be wearing, regardless of how any other judgmental mothers think it makes her (or me) look.

Andy1784's picture
Joined: 09/18/08
Posts: 1372

I keep wondering where my thoughts are on this subject because chances are my daughter will be in dance classes. It will somewhat depend on what is the norm for the area. I certainly won't be the mom pushing for extra makeup, but if the majority of the other girls are wearing it for a recital I will put it on my daughter. No that isn't how I approach most parenting related situations but in this case the cohesiveness of the dance team somewhat depends on each girl looking the part. I don't know how comfortable I will feel about that for 3 or 4 year olds though, time will tell because it isn't personal enough for me to judge yet.

As far as makeup goes otherwise, I have no problem with lip gloss at any age. I think in elementary school my daughter will be limited to just that though. Middle school might bring some simple makeup like a light eye shadow and mascara. Once she is in high school I think I'll be rather lenient because I believe that self expression is important so long as she doesn't go to huge extremes.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

Meh, if Jace or any of my future daughters wants to wear makeup, that's fine. A little bit of blush and mascara doesn't hurt anyone unless of course, you're allergic. I don't have any set age.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3317

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

My oldest is on the dance team and yes, make-up is required for competitions. Honestly, the girls that don't wear it (and there are very few) look washed out and rather silly. I don't think it looks "trashy", but I guess we're all entitled to our opinions.

I would make an exception for competition. I really don't like the way it looks, especially the way some parents apply it but i think a competition team is a higher commitment, so i would do it in this case.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3317

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

But what if the kids in your daughter's silly little for fun dance class asked for the make-up? Like I mentioned earlier, my youngest has seen the older girls with their make-up and expects the same when it is her turn to go on stage (which she has been anxiously awaiting for a year now). If I told her she couldn't wear the make-up because I thought it looked trashy I can guarantee there would be a meltdown and the silly little for fun recital would turn into a pout fest. Honestly, I don't see how some sparkly make-up could be deemed inappropriate for a dance recital, especially if it makes the child wearing it feel happy. I'm all about letting Madison have her day, and if she wants purple glitter eyeshadow that's what she'll be wearing, regardless of how any other judgmental mothers think it makes her (or me) look.

I would say "No, you are too young to wear that much makeup and you don't need it and besides you look perfect the way you are"

Melt down or no melt down...that would be the answer.

I think there is also a difference in approach depending on how one feels about make up to begin with.

I have 3 girls old enough to verbally communicate everything they need and none of them have ever seriously asked me to wear it. They think of it as a play thing at home..and do that rather rarely. Its just not part of what we do..it doesn't occur to them...they don't miss it.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

"KimPossible" wrote:

I would say "No, you are too young to wear that much makeup and you don't need it and besides you look perfect the way you are"

Melt down or no melt down...that would be the answer.

I think there is also a difference in approach depending on how one feels about make up to begin with.

I have 3 girls old enough to verbally communicate everything they need and none of them have ever seriously asked me to wear it. They think of it as a play thing at home..and do that rather rarely. Its just not part of what we do..it doesn't occur to them...they don't miss it.

Yep.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I am a pretty minimal make up user, so that probably colors my answer. I try to get by most days with some foundation and a touch of eye shadow, so I don't see a lot of reason for a tiny girl to wear more makeup than me.

Having said that, I think that if I had a DD and she was in dance, and the norm for her dance class was some makeup - I don't think I would be violently against it. I remember being in my choir performances in elementary school and beyond, and we wore makeup to look a certain way under the lights. Trust me, it wasn't sexual, it was just part of being a performer in a play, like our costumes. It doesn't bother me in that context. It bothers me a lot more in young girls in a non-performance context.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

My DD (4) loves to wear her 'play' makeup. She also loves to paint and draw on her face with face paints! I have no problem letting her wear any of those things in public, and she frequently does. She puts it all on herself and is really proud of herself. My rule would be that until she can buy more than that herself, she wont be getting anything more, but once she can do that, I have no problem with it.

And for the record, I dont wear ANY makeup, ever! I have wonderful skin that just hates to be covered up and I end up as a watery eyed raccoon if I try:) DD doesnt know this though, I just tell her that I dont like all that stuff on my skin, and truthfully, I enjoy not having to fuss with it every morning. I hope to teach her through my example that makeup isnt necessary to look beautiful, not by banning it which I dont think is a very good way to teach.

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

Journi only wants to wear makeup when she sees me and her sister put makeup on. Here she is when she got into my makeup bag last summer. She was so proud of how she looked! Is this ok for a dance recital? It wouldn't make her look washed out one bit! Wink

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

Icky. Make-up on little girls is icky. I don't like the way it looks at all.

I don't have a set age that my girls will be permitted to wear make-up-- but I'm not much of a make-up person as is. I wear some for work, but one weekends--eh. Not worth my time or effort. Sure my skin isn't perfect, but it is what it is.

As far as the dancing thing--I'm conflicted about this. My best IRL friend's dd is on a dance team. She's 10. They are expected to be so dolled up it is nauseating. There is a specific color of bright red lipstick the whole team wears, their skirts are silly short, and then they are supposed to have this eyeliner/mascara applied, too. I honestly don't get why ALL of the parents don't just flat out refuse so that ALL of the 10 year olds look like 10 year olds and not some exaggerated street walkers......can't wrap my head around that at all. I thought they were dancing, and don't get the need for the whole painted get-up to perform in a high school gym. Ick.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"KimPossible" wrote:

I would say "No, you are too young to wear that much makeup and you don't need it and besides you look perfect the way you are"

Melt down or no melt down...that would be the answer.

I think there is also a difference in approach depending on how one feels about make up to begin with.

I have 3 girls old enough to verbally communicate everything they need and none of them have ever seriously asked me to wear it. They think of it as a play thing at home..and do that rather rarely. Its just not part of what we do..it doesn't occur to them...they don't miss it.

I don't always give in to her demands to avoid meltdowns, but this is one situation that I don't mind giving in to. She's worked hard all year learning her routine and is ridiculously excited about performing on stage. It will be her night, complete with the make-up she chooses to wear. Just isn't a big deal to me.

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

"KimPossible" wrote:

I would say "No, you are too young to wear that much makeup and you don't need it and besides you look perfect the way you are"

Melt down or no melt down...that would be the answer.

I think there is also a difference in approach depending on how one feels about make up to begin with.

I have 3 girls old enough to verbally communicate everything they need and none of them have ever seriously asked me to wear it. They think of it as a play thing at home..and do that rather rarely. Its just not part of what we do..it doesn't occur to them...they don't miss it.

Absolutely! Just because my kids ask for somethign and threaten a meltdown does not mean I will comply, especially not if I feel that what they are asking for is inappropriate. Since I feel wearing make-up is inappropriate in most settings, then the answer is no regardless.

We are not theatre newbies, so I get the need for stage make-up. Itis darker and more prominent then regular make-up and yes I agree with AlanasMommy that without it, artists look washed out and it can literally make the actors/dancers look as if they ahve blank faces. That said, we are talking about speciifc theatre lighting cues and large stages. Not school assemblies or small venues or even large venues with simple lighting cues. I can see the need for it in competition, but really there is no need for the majority of dance recitials and school assemblies.

Not only that but little kids in dance recitals are not aware of facial expressions and who are we kidding, just getting them up their on stage and having them do some semblance of a dance is really all one can hope for. So the use of stage make-up to me is more for the parents and the puspose of just dolling up their child then really what it is designed to do. Not that there is anythign wrong with that if you are OK with make-up. But I think making it sound like it is a requirment is an excuse.

Also, stage make-up (unless done for a specific character) should enhance the natural face. So there shouldn't be red lips and blue eye or sparkly eye shadow. I don't buy that 99% of the parents putting on "stage make-up" for their children's recital really know what they are doing and so again I don;t buyt he "satge make-up" reasoning. Most of the dance recital kids and cheerleaders I have seen resemble more pageant make-up then theatre make-up.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"culturedmom" wrote:

Absolutely! Just because my kids ask for somethign and threaten a meltdown does not mean I will comply, especially not if I feel that what they are asking for is inappropriate. Since I feel wearing make-up is inappropriate in most settings, then the answer is no regardless.

We are not theatre newbies, so I get the need for stage make-up. Itis darker and more prominent then regular make-up and yes I agree with AlanasMommy that without it, artists look washed out and it can literally make the actors/dancers look as if they ahve blank faces. That said, we are talking about speciifc theatre lighting cues and large stages. Not school assemblies or small venues or even large venues with simple lighting cues. I can see the need for it in competition, but really there is no need for the majority of dance recitials and school assemblies.

Not only that but little kids in dance recitals are not aware of facial expressions and who are we kidding, just getting them up their on stage and having them do some semblance of a dance is really all one can hope for. So the use of stage make-up to me is more for the parents and the puspose of just dolling up their child then really what it is designed to do. Not that there is anythign wrong with that if you are OK with make-up. But I think making it sound like it is a requirment is an excuse.

Also, stage make-up (unless done for a specific character) should enhance the natural face. So there shouldn't be red lips and blue eye or sparkly eye shadow. I don't buy that 99% of the parents putting on "stage make-up" for their children's recital really know what they are doing and so again I don;t buyt he "satge make-up" reasoning. Most of the dance recital kids and cheerleaders I have seen resemble more pageant make-up then theatre make-up.

I'm pretty sure I said it wasn't necessary for a recital. I'm 100% sure I didn't say it was a requirement (at least not at our studio).

Madison won't be wearing stage make-up tomorrow night because I think that is a little over the top for a cutesy combo dance. She'll be wearing regular make-up that she chooses because it makes her happy. Not because I want to "doll her up" or some other silly reasoning. Besides, I don't need an "excuse" to doll my kid up if that's what I wanted to do. How silly.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

I'm pretty sure I said it wasn't necessary for a recital. I'm 100% sure I didn't say it was a requirement (at least not at our studio).

Madison won't be wearing stage make-up tomorrow night because I think that is a little over the top for a cutesy combo dance. She'll be wearing regular make-up that she chooses because it makes her happy. Not because I want to "doll her up" or some other silly reasoning. Besides, I don't need an "excuse" to doll my kid up if that's what I wanted to do. How silly.

I agree with this too. I have really early happy memories of playing "dress up" with my mom where she would let me do her makeup and she would do mine when I was probably still a pre-schooler. I doubt she took me out in public like that, but she certainly let me play with makeup and dressing up at home, and it was so much fun. I would think that any mom that wanted to "doll their daughter up" could certainly do the same without needing a recital or play as an excuse. I think that in the case of plays or recitals, it really is done more as "stage makeup" even if they don't do it correctly to professional stage make up standards or whatever.

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

I'm pretty sure I said it wasn't necessary for a recital. I'm 100% sure I didn't say it was a requirement (at least not at our studio).

Madison won't be wearing stage make-up tomorrow night because I think that is a little over the top for a cutesy combo dance. She'll be wearing regular make-up that she chooses because it makes her happy. Not because I want to "doll her up" or some other silly reasoning. Besides, I don't need an "excuse" to doll my kid up if that's what I wanted to do. How silly.

I'm sorry....was I talking to you? Did I quote your post? Nope, I am pretty sure I didn't. Did I say all dance parents? Nope.If you don't think you are part of the 99% of the parents whom I was talking about, then why are you even trying to defend your position? If you are secure in your desicion to let your child wear make-up then why are you getting so defensive when I wasn't even talking directly to you?

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

"culturedmom" wrote:

I'm sorry....was I talking to you? Did I quote your post? Nope, I am pretty sure I didn't. Did I say all dance parents? Nope.If you don't think you are part of the 99% of the parents whom I was talking about, then why are you even trying to defend your position? If you are secure in your desicion to let your child wear make-up then why are you getting so defensive when I wasn't even talking directly to you?

You directly quoted a post that was a response to her post, and then agreed with it. I think it is reasonable for her to assume that you were directing your post at her as well.

And of course she is defending her position. This is a debate board, its what we do here. I dont think it indicates insecurity at all and find it an underhanded debate tactic to claim it does.

RebeccaA'07's picture
Joined: 11/19/07
Posts: 1628

I agree with several here, there is a large difference between "play" and actually letting your child out in public with makeup. I really don't have a rule for this right now, my daughter is 2. But in general, I think heavy makeup out in public on young girls regardless of the event is not my thing. I don't think it looks good at all. I have a small cousin that is in dance and the makeup is crazy, she's beautiful without makeup and I think she looks terrible with makeup.

My daughter now, likes to take my brushes and 'apply' makeup - they have nothing but a little powder dust on them so no big deal. She just wants to pretend like Mommy!

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

What would everyone's answer be if your son's wanted to wear makeup?

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

"ftmom" wrote:

You directly quoted a post that was a response to her post, and then agreed with it. I think it is reasonable for her to assume that you were directing your post at her as well.

And of course she is defending her position. This is a debate board, its what we do here. I dont think it indicates insecurity at all and find it an underhanded debate tactic to claim it does.

Well thank you for your input. Unfortunately I don't really care what you think about my debate "tactics" especially since I have none and I find it a bit offensive for you to claim I do. I am well aware this is a debate board. But the only tactic I use is to state my opinion.

I did not quote Alana, I quoted Kim. I was directly talking only about what Kim said as to how she would handle a situation. I ahve 3 kids over and I don;t have the time to mull over every post. Actually the only thing I directly was talking to Alana about was AGREEING WITH HER about the purpose of stage make-up. I have had this debate with her before and I know exactly how she feels about make-up. I also know her daughter does competitive dance and I and Kim specifically stated that we felt that that was in a whole other league. Actually if my child did competitive dance or acted professionally I would probably be ok with them wearing make-up. Either way, I made the decisions to purposely not debate Alana because we have done this before and I feel no need to do it again. Is it possible that maybe since we have disagreed before on this issue, she took what I said a little more personally and defensive then intended?

I really did not include Alana's situation in what I was talkign about which is why I specifically did not quote her. If she felt it was directed at her then she need only ask.

The only underhanded debate tactic I see is 1. thinking everything someone says is directed at you and is meant in a negative way and 2. people who are not even a part of the converstaion comign in to stir up drama when there might be none.

If you really feel you have an issue with my debate "tactics" then I think you should take it up with an admin or PM and ask if your assumptions are correct. In this case they are not.

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

What would everyone's answer be if your son's wanted to wear makeup?

In what context?

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

"culturedmom" wrote:

Well thank you for your input. Unfortunately I don't really care what you think about my debate "tactics" especially since I have none and I find it a bit offensive for you to claim I do. I am well aware this is a debate board. But the only tactic I use is to state my opinion.

I did not quote Alana, I quoted Kim. I was directly talking only about what Kim said as to how she would handle a situation. I ahve 3 kids over and I don;t have the time to mull over every post. Actually the only thing I directly was talking to Alana about was AGREEING WITH HER about the purpose of stage make-up. I have had this debate with her before and I know exactly how she feels about make-up. I also know her daughter does competitive dance and I and Kim specifically stated that we felt that that was in a whole other league. Actually if my child did competitive dance or acted professionally I would probably be ok with them wearing make-up. Either way, I made the decisions to purposely not debate Alana because we have done this before and I feel no need to do it again. Is it possible that maybe since we have disagreed before on this issue, she took what I said a little more personally and defensive then intended?

I really did not include Alana's situation in what I was talkign about which is why I specifically did not quote her. If she felt it was directed at her then she need only ask.

The only underhanded debate tactic I see is 1. thinking everything someone says is directed at you and is meant in a negative way and 2. people who are not even a part of the converstaion comign in to stir up drama when there might be none.

If you really feel you have an issue with my debate "tactics" then I think you should take it up with an admin or PM and ask if your assumptions are correct. In this case they are not.

OK, you can see things whatever way you want to and I can see things my way. I was simply trying to show support for someone who, I felt, was unnecessarily being talked to in a negative way. If you dont want other people to throw their 2 cents into the conversation then have it privately and not out on the board. Whatever your 'intentions' were in your post it obviously came across as being directed at her, and she wasnt the only one who saw it that way, which is what I was trying to get across.

I do apologize for criticizing your debate 'tactics', or whatever you want to call them, I have just seen the whole 'you must not really be confident in your decision if you feel the need to defend it' thing used a few times now (No idea by who) and it is a statement that really irritates me for the reasons I stated. Perhaps I took my irritation out on you when it was unwarranted.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

What would everyone's answer be if your son's wanted to wear makeup?

Same way as I would treat my Daughter. My son actually has pink toenails right now because he asked for them, and I wont let my daughter do it and refuse him. He will be able to play with play makeup in the house and in public if he wants, and once he can afford to buy his own makeup he will be allowed to wear it if he wants.

As I said before, I prefer to teach my children by example when I can and not forbid things. Neither their father or I wear makeup, so I dont see this being a real self esteem issue for my kids.

Oh,and for the record, I would put makeup on my child for dance or drama if they asked for it. Its all part of making a special night.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

"culturedmom" wrote:

In what context?

Hmm, to school or out with friends. Not costume makeup.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Nope, my son won't be wearing make up (or nail polish), just like my daughter does not. They are 4 and 3. I suppose if it was a burning desire of his at some point in his adolescence, we could re address the issue. Not now, for sure.

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

Yeah, no make up for a son either.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Hi Ladies (culturedmom and ftmom),
I am very off at the moment (I'm on percoset, if that tells you anything) and I can't tell if you are actually talking out your disagreement or just snarking at each other.

If you're just snarking, Each person is reminded to debate the topic, not the person.

[COLOR=Black]Otherwise, if you're actually talking it out, good. I like it when that happens.

Sorry I'm being a rather lame "host" at the mo. [/COLOR]

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Hi Ladies (culturedmom and ftmom),
I am very off at the moment (I'm on percoset, if that tells you anything) and I can't tell if you are actually talking out your disagreement or just snarking at each other.

If you're just snarking, Each person is reminded to debate the topic, not the person.

[COLOR=Black]Otherwise, if you're actually talking it out, good. I like it when that happens.

Sorry I'm being a rather lame "host" at the mo. [/COLOR]

Thank you Alissa. I am niether snarking nor talking it out. I have no desire for either. Enjoy your percocet.

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

Hmm, to school or out with friends. Not costume makeup.

Well if I don't allow my DD then why would I allow my DS? No for both. When the time comes that we allow DD to wear make-up and DS at the same age wants to wear it as well, then yes I would.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"culturedmom" wrote:

I'm sorry....was I talking to you? Did I quote your post? Nope, I am pretty sure I didn't. Did I say all dance parents? Nope.If you don't think you are part of the 99% of the parents whom I was talking about, then why are you even trying to defend your position? If you are secure in your desicion to let your child wear make-up then why are you getting so defensive when I wasn't even talking directly to you?

Oh I don't know.....maybe because your post had my name in it......duh......

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

"Alana*sMommy" wrote:

Oh I don't know.....maybe because your post had my name in it......duh......

Oh I don't know...maybe if you read my post you would see the reason I mentioned your name was to agree with you...duh.

Exactly why I made a conscious effort not to debate this with you. duh? really?

I get that Alissa's last post was directed at me and ftmom, but I was under the impression it was a general statment and applied to everyone. I could be wrong though. Maybe you have some sort of free pass to be snarky.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

"culturedmom" wrote:

Oh I don't know...maybe if you read my post you would see the reason I mentioned your name was to agree with you...duh.

Exactly why I made a conscious effort not to debate this with you. duh? really?

I get that Alissa's last post was directed at me and ftmom, but I was under the impression it was a general statment and applied to everyone. I could be wrong though. Maybe you have some sort of free pass to be snarky.

Do you really pick and choose who you feel like debating with based on the topic, the day of the week, the current phase of the moon, or some other random criteria? Is there a really good reason why you and I can't debate the topic of kids wearing make-up, even if we've debated it in the past? I mean, we repeat debates all the time and I'm almost positive there isn't some hidden rule about keeping the same opinion and stating it to the same people. Besides, I wasn't getting defensive, just debating the topic. If anyone's posts have an angry tone.......its yours.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Don't make me come in there. Smile

Yes, that is a general statement that always applies to everyone. To reiterate:

Each person is reminded to debate the topic, not the person

To get back on topic, we were talking about boys wearing makeup, and if that is any different. I get that for people who are anti-make up in general, the boys wouldn't be allowed any more than the girls. What about people who aren't as anti-makeup? Thoughts?

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