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  1. #11
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ethanwinfield View Post
    Turn him in? Yes.
    Pay for a lawyer? No.
    No matter how you dice it, he deserves life in prison. A guilty verdict is the only justice. I could not sleep at night if my child got off while a beautiful child lost her life because of him.
    Quote Originally Posted by ethanwinfield View Post
    In the court of law, yes you need a conviction. If my child confesses the crime to me, that's enough for me. Once I know my child is guilty, what is the motive to hire an attorney when a public defender will do his/her job?

    Everyone wants him to have a fair trial because (A) we wouldn't want a guilty man to go free and (B) if the trial is corrupt or in some other way unfair, it might get kicked back/overturned. All attorneys better be capable of making sure a defendant gets a fair trial.

    So if I believe my child committed this crime based on his confession to me, the only justice is a guilty verdict in my mind.
    ITA with both of these. There was another case recently where a mom discovered evidence that linked at least one of her teenaged sons to a murder & called the cops, who arrested both of her sons. The first explanation was that they didn't know which one committed the murder, now they say one of them may have lured the victim & helped cover up the crime. TBH I'm not sure I would call the cops without having first confronted my child(ren) about my concerns. As much as I wouldn't want to see my child on trial for murder, I sure as hell wouldn't want to see one of my children on trial for something he didn't do. But then again, now that I'm writing that out, I wouldn't want to become another victim if they know I know....
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

  2. #12
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    I probably wouldnt pay for an attorney either.....simply because I cant afford to spend my retirement trying to protect my child from the consequences of something he did. And in fact, when I word it that way it makes me think that I might not even if I could afford it. Unless there was some sort of huge mitigating circumstance that I felt was being overlooked or something.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  3. #13
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    A confession does not prove guilt. A child could be protecting an adult he trusted. An over zealous judge could assign a more strict punishment that necessary. (1st degree instead of manslaughter...) It is not my job to decide all of the circumstances of the case and decide he does not need a lawyer.

    ETA - I am hoping that the only circumstances a child of mine would be capable of murder would be if they were truly insane. A lawyer would help to determine that.

    ~Bonita~

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    A confession does not prove guilt. A child could be protecting an adult he trusted. An over zealous judge could assign a more strict punishment that necessary. (1st degree instead of manslaughter...) It is not my job to decide all of the circumstances of the case and decide he does not need a lawyer.

    ETA - I am hoping that the only circumstances a child of mine would be capable of murder would be if they were truly insane. A lawyer would help to determine that.
    Of course he needs a lawyer. I'm just not going to be the one who pays for it.
    ftmom likes this.

  5. #15
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    I didnt think we were talking about a child. I was thinking my child as an adult. If it was a child then I would be trying my hardest to get them some help....which might mean getting a lawyer who could fight for a psychiatric facility instead of jail.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  6. #16
    Community Host Sapphire Sunsets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ethanwinfield View Post
    Turn him in? Yes.
    Pay for a lawyer? No.
    No matter how you dice it, he deserves life in prison. A guilty verdict is the only justice. I could not sleep at night if my child got off while a beautiful child lost her life because of him.
    complete ditto.

    they did it, i'm not going to sacrifice my life/money/job to pay for a lawyer.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by ftmom View Post
    I didnt think we were talking about a child. I was thinking my child as an adult. If it was a child then I would be trying my hardest to get them some help....which might mean getting a lawyer who could fight for a psychiatric facility instead of jail.
    The person in the article in the op 17 YO.

  8. #18
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
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    I would absolutely turn them in.

    And my children have already been told that I will never pay for a lawyer for them if they do something wrong. I would pay for them to get psychiatric help though.
    Lisa
    Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom3girls View Post
    I would absolutely turn them in.

    And my children have already been told that I will never pay for a lawyer for them if they do something wrong. I would pay for them to get psychiatric help though.
    See, I want my kids to think they can come to me with anything. I can remember clearly my father telling me that he hoped and prayed I would never get pg (While a teenager) but that if I did to please come to him. I understand this is not at all the same thing, but I think the principle is the same. There are consequences to mistakes, but I will be there with you each step of those consequences.

    ~Bonita~

  10. #20
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    See, I want my kids to think they can come to me with anything. I can remember clearly my father telling me that he hoped and prayed I would never get pg (While a teenager) but that if I did to please come to him. I understand this is not at all the same thing, but I think the principle is the same. There are consequences to mistakes, but I will be there with you each step of those consequences.
    I will always be there for my children, but that doesnt mean ruining my own future, and taking from my other childrens future to protect them from something that we all know is wrong. And as I said before, If my child was to come to me with this, it would be because they believe they have done wrong and want to turn themselves in. Part of supporting them would be allowing them to pay their debt and get the help they need. I hope that made sense. I wouldn't and couldn't just walk away from my child and wash my hands of them, but there comes a point (hopefully long before murder) where I will stop cleaning up their messes for them and insist that they take responsibility for their own actions. I would support them as much as I could during this process.

    To me the pregnancy example does not compare because there is an innocent child involved, so anything I did for my child would be as much for that unborn child as well. In this example the innocent child is dead, and I think there needs to be payment for that, as well as rehabilitation, and I am not able to give my child those things, so hopefully the justice system could.

    As a sort of example of how I see the money situation, DH's brother got pretty heavily into drugs a few years back. His wife and him split and he ended up living at his parents house. His parents gave him everything. A place to stay, I think he went through at least 3 cars (including my DH's), and a lot of money, so much so that they are now struggling financially trying to plan for their retirement. He managed to pull himself out of that lifestyle and is now a productive father and husband, as well as a caring son. However, there is a LOT of resentment floating around in that family that so much was given to him when he was the one who was choosing this horrible lifestyle and the 'children' who were responsibly trying to begin lives of their own and start families were given nothing because there was nothing left to give. I couldnt imagine if he had murdered someone and his parents had continued to throw money at him. I am pretty sure they would have totally lost their relationship with their daughter and severely damaged the one with my DH. As it is a lot of damage has been done. When I think of my children, I have to think of the good of ALL of them.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

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