Thread: In Kindergarten?

I don't think it's about knowing the parts of the vagina. It's about the concepts. My kids know I will discuss anything with them, and I have no doubt that it won't be long before my daughter wants to talk about all of it! My son doesn't. I'm not sure how I feel about teaching kindergartners about sexual relationships, but covering anatomy and inappropriate touching and all that is fine by me. I imagine they are very careful about what they tell them anyway, having to deal with parents and families with a wide range of values in that area.

I also don't want to be their sole source of information on anything! They should definitely hear things from other sources, and then I can help them sort things out. I'm hardly an expert on sex ed.

Originally Posted by Potter75

Oh Rivergallery, Rivergallery! My children aren't even school age yet, penis and vagina work just fine. Like Deniz wondered, are you that thorough on every body part? I don't think that pulling apart my daughters (or my) outsides and insides to be medically 100% accurate has merit for my children.

Nothing is new about that. Im pointing out a trend of who is extremely concerned about coveting this sexual knowledge and who thinks that all information must only come from them. I noticed it amongst my friends growing up as well.

You were the ONE that was hung up on using correct terms. And you were not using correct terms yourself.

Re the trend amongst your friends.. that is fine, but you included me in it and I am pointing out that I am not a part of that trend

Originally Posted by Potter75

Oh Rivergallery, Rivergallery! My children aren't even school age yet, penis and vagina work just fine. Like Deniz wondered, are you that thorough on every body part? I don't think that pulling apart my daughters (or my) outsides and insides to be medically 100% accurate has merit for my children.

So why do they have to know the correct terms for those but boobs is ok?

I guess for me, I don't want my kids to remember this grand day when mom and dad sat them down and shared "the secret". I want it to be something that they've just always known, since forever....if that makes any sense. In the way that they don't remember the day that they learned that the world spins around the sun, or that when water freezes it turns to ice, or that flowers grow from seeds, or that chickens lay eggs...sex just "is". It is the natural order of things and important and meaningful and special and comes with responsibility, and we'll teach all of those things, but I feel like it isn't one conversation we'll have a few times, but something we infuse into dialogue frequently and commonly, so that it isn't a big secret topic.

I'm having a hard time articulating this. My parents were pretty open in telling us (rented a kids movie for us to watch, got a book from the library, etc.) But it felt so "encapsulated" that it wasn't something we ever talked about again, kwim? Even now, this subject is pretty verboten with my mom, and we're quite close and I've had 5 kids. What's up with that? And she said that whole "you can come to me with anything"-- but I didn't bc of the way it was presented and separated from everything else.

Originally Posted by boilermaker

I guess for me, I don't want my kids to remember this grand day when mom and dad sat them down and shared "the secret". I want it to be something that they've just always known, since forever....if that makes any sense. In the way that they don't remember the day that they learned that the world spins around the sun, or that when water freezes it turns to ice, or that flowers grow from seeds, or that chickens lay eggs...sex just "is". It is the natural order of things and important and meaningful and special and comes with responsibility, and we'll teach all of those things, but I feel like it isn't one conversation we'll have a few times, but something we infuse into dialogue frequently and commonly, so that it isn't a big secret topic.

I'm having a hard time articulating this. My parents were pretty open in telling us (rented a kids movie for us to watch, got a book from the library, etc.) But it felt so "encapsulated" that it wasn't something we ever talked about again, kwim? Even now, this subject is pretty verboten with my mom, and we're quite close and I've had 5 kids. What's up with that? And she said that whole "you can come to me with anything"-- but I didn't bc of the way it was presented and separated from everything else.

It is so incredibly refreshing (and RARE) around here when someone can articulate their thoughts without trashing the people who feel differently.

I'm one of the "cray cray" people who would actually like my children to see sex the way God sees it, instead of giving it away to the first person who walks by. But I really like Audra's viewpoint, and I'm going to try to incorporate this into my parenting. Because I had the same feeling about the way my parent's approached it, like all the words said "you can talk to me about it" but I never wanted to or felt comfortable doing so because of how it was handled and how it felt. I think I can incorporate what Audra is saying and still teach my kids how special God made sex to be and that it isn't for them to give away to everyone they think they love.

And now I'm off again, before I get depressed and disgusted by those on here who like to treat others like the dirt on the bottom of their shoe for having life viewpoints that differ from theirs. Back to work...

Originally Posted by freddieflounder101

I guess I am speaking as someone who was told too much too soon. Not about periods, that was fine, not about reproduction, which was fine, but about sex and intimate acts and I found it scary and disturbing until my Mom gave me the awesome information that I didn't have to do it until the day came that I wanted to. I was a child of the 70s and we were exposed to FAR too much. It was just scary.

See, I had the exact opposite experience growing up in the 70s. My mom was a prude and she didn't want to talk about anything related to sex or bodies. I don't think I saw her naked more than a handful of times and she was highly embarassed when it did happen. Luckily I had friends whose parents gave them awesome books, I had a great conversation with a friend's mom who was having a baby, and I had teachers who were open to frank honest discussions. When my mom finally got around to talking to me about periods when I was 12, I told her she was about a year too late. And that was even after she had another baby, even that didn't trigger to talk with us about it. I'm sure my mom would have opted me out of any kind of sex ed even though she didn't do the job at home herelf. So I'm glad I grew up in the 70s and had access both to accurate information and to adults who *would* talk with me even when my mom wouldn't. I think not knowing would have been far scarier.

I don't think it's crazy (or cray cray) to want to present sex in a way that is consistent with your religion. But I think it's harmful to not present it at all, particularly to children who are old enough to physically procreate themselves. I don't think that keeping kids in the dark about procreation (particularly once they are a certain age) serves them, or even the views of the parents. I think it's much better to present them with factual information paired with serious talks about "And here is what we believe about sex, here is it's purpose in your relationship to god and your husband," et cetera. I don't think that talking to your kids about your beliefs is crazy, I think that not talking to your kids about important (and inevitable!)things that could really impact their health and the rest of their lives is detrimental to them.

There are people even on this board of all religious backgrounds that were not taught about sex at a young age. I do not think sexual education is connected to Christianity.

Gloria - That's a good point about why is it okay to call breasts "boobs" but we must call reproductive organs by their proper name? I don't have a good answer for that, except maybe that I feel like people are so much less comfortable talking about reproductive organs than breasts, so it becomes that much more important to give correct info. Something like that.

I thought of you guys this morning. Totally out of the blue, T asked if dogs have penises. Surely my kid isn't the only one in that age group that is really curious about figuring all of this body stuff out. He's almost 5, so almost K age.

Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers

There are people even on this board of all religious backgrounds that were not taught about sex at a young age. I do not think sexual education is connected to Christianity.

But the connection seems to be that all of our parents who didn't or didn't want to teach us about sex *were* Christians.

ETA: I hate hate hate the word "boobs." In my home, or if I'm around, they are breasts. When I did the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer so many women had shirts & hats & signs with "boobs" or "boobies" (a word I hate worse than boobs!) and I was more tired of seeing those words than I was from the 39.3 miles I walked.