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  1. #71
    Posting Addict ClairesMommy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SID081108 View Post
    It is so incredibly refreshing (and RARE) around here when someone can articulate their thoughts without trashing the people who feel differently.

    I'm one of the "cray cray" people who would actually like my children to see sex the way God sees it, instead of giving it away to the first person who walks by. But I really like Audra's viewpoint, and I'm going to try to incorporate this into my parenting. Because I had the same feeling about the way my parent's approached it, like all the words said "you can talk to me about it" but I never wanted to or felt comfortable doing so because of how it was handled and how it felt. I think I can incorporate what Audra is saying and still teach my kids how special God made sex to be and that it isn't for them to give away to everyone they think they love.

    And now I'm off again, before I get depressed and disgusted by those on here who like to treat others like the dirt on the bottom of their shoe for having life viewpoints that differ from theirs. Back to work...
    First, I will say that I completely agree with Audra's post - it was very well said and IMO pretty eloquent.

    Second, the two bolded sentences are, IMO, very hypocritical. In one you make a clear insinuation that those who don't teach their kids to view sex the way God does are going to have children who will lose their virginity long before they are ready. Then you go on to say that you're disgusted by other peoples' intolerance towards differing viewpoints? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. That first sentence is definitely not one in which you should use a generalization like that, so if you don't mean to generalize, then you need to clear that up. It's pretty offensive.

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    In my house they are breasts. Not boobs. And very small breasts at that!

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    But the connection seems to be that all of our parents who didn't or didn't want to teach us about sex *were* Christians.

    ETA: I hate hate hate the word "boobs." In my home, or if I'm around, they are breasts. When I did the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer so many women had shirts & hats & signs with "boobs" or "boobies" (a word I hate worse than boobs!) and I was more tired of seeing those words than I was from the 39.3 miles I walked.
    Not me! I grew up in a non-religious household, and we never talked about sex. Its actually pretty weird when I think about it cause my parents were really affectionate around us (not a shock to walk in on them making out), but I dont remember us ever talking about sex or reproduction at all.
    Kyla
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  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by SID081108 View Post
    It is so incredibly refreshing (and RARE) around here when someone can articulate their thoughts without trashing the people who feel differently.

    I'm one of the "cray cray" people who would actually like my children to see sex the way God sees it, instead of giving it away to the first person who walks by. But I really like Audra's viewpoint, and I'm going to try to incorporate this into my parenting. Because I had the same feeling about the way my parent's approached it, like all the words said "you can talk to me about it" but I never wanted to or felt comfortable doing so because of how it was handled and how it felt. I think I can incorporate what Audra is saying and still teach my kids how special God made sex to be and that it isn't for them to give away to everyone they think they love.

    And now I'm off again, before I get depressed and disgusted by those on here who like to treat others like the dirt on the bottom of their shoe for having life viewpoints that differ from theirs. Back to work...
    '

    Ah, yes, of course! Because people saying that it is important to talk about our bodies as healthy and glorious and normal is the virtually the same as admitting that I am a prostitute! I'm not going to get into my sexual background with someone who would dare to make such filthy insinuations, but my virginity was something that I prized and to have some stranger infer otherwise is very ugly of you. I don't know what religion advocates making such outrageous statements, but I'm glad Im not part of it!

    And Alissa I agree with what you are saying. It would be crazy to NOT teach ones kids about sex in accordance with their religious beliefs~ that isn't what I was saying. I was quite pointedly talking about a middle schooler who knows nothing about sex. That is irresponsible, and I also am talking about the people who think that they can keep their children in some bubble where all sex talk is 100% verboten........well, I think that that leads to the shame and secrecy that I saw growing up and feel is unhealthy.

    Audra my parents were a lot like your parents (I remember the :TALK: so well, so awkward!) and we parent just like you guys, it sounds like.

    I've read song of solomon plenty of times, beautiful book! I think that our bodies were made to be delightful to us and to our partner ~ that is very in line with the way we raise our kids. I don't believe that one has to be Christian to want ones children to value and prize their bodies and to see physical intimacy as something beautiful and NOT something that one hands away to anyone who asks. That is why we aren't shy about our own bodies, or terms, and we don't secret away knowledge or what have you.

    As to Boobs ~ My kids know that they are called breasts ~ but I guess when my toddlers were nursing they used to call them "boobies" and sometimes they still do. Just like my daughter says 'gina even though she knows its called a VAgina, well, little kids are just little, and sometimes the way they spoke as babies/toddlers lingers.

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    '


    As to Boobs ~ My kids know that they are called breasts ~ but I guess when my toddlers were nursing they used to call them "boobies" and sometimes they still do. Just like my daughter says 'gina even though she knows its called a VAgina, well, little kids are just little, and sometimes the way they spoke as babies/toddlers lingers.
    Why is this different than knowing that the body part is called a vagina but calling them private parts when they are around other people? I believe if you want to teach your child to call their body parts by their formal name, that is fine. Up to you. If also you want to refer to the area as private parts or what ever other name that is also fine and does not make you a bad parent.

    ~Bonita~

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Why is this different than knowing that the body part is called a vagina but calling them private parts when they are around other people? I believe if you want to teach your child to call their body parts by their formal name, that is fine. Up to you. If also you want to refer to the area as private parts or what ever other name that is also fine and does not make you a bad parent.

    Okay. Who said anything about being a bad parent? I don't know. I just believe that children should have at least a frame of reference to know about their own anatomy. Lack of knowledge can create a sense of mystery that can easily cross the line into shame, IMO.

    I know lots of toddlers who nursed who used terms like "nunnies" or "boobies" Or "milkies" or whatever but also knew that they were actually called breasts. My toddlers who nursed were no different.

    I don't care what other peoples children call their body parts. I do think it strange if a parent teaches them "elbow", "eyebrow" but the vagina is just this vague mystery area, like a Barbie Doll's non crotch or something. I never mentioned bad parenting, so maybe you are reading my posts incorrectly again?

    ETA:I don't always use proper terminology when talking about my body parts. I'm known to use "Vag". Or "Vagine" (Said like borat, with a raised eyebrow). In my thirds labor I have a birth video where my midwife puts hot towels and oil on my perineum and I say "mmmm warm cooter". After 48 hours of labor it still makes me laugh. None of that means that i don't know what my body parts are called. I think that you are taking my statement that children should know their anatomy a little too seriously or something. Is it that offensive or strange of an idea? I've also referred to breasts as a rack, boobs, titties, nips, or what have you a time or two over the years. I know they are called breasts. Bodies can be fun, its not all so serious, is it? I mean, I'm a little shocked at how much it bothers you that I believe teaching children about their body parts is okay. If my child talked about his penis but pointed at his balls I wouldn't go all rivergallery on him and be like "SCROTUM!!!! SCROTUM!!!!" whatever, penis, vagina, tomato, tahmato.
    Last edited by Potter75; 03-04-2013 at 04:27 PM.

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    Okay. Who said anything about being a bad parent? I don't know. I just believe that children should have at least a frame of reference to know about their own anatomy. Lack of knowledge can create a sense of mystery that can easily cross the line into shame, IMO.

    I know lots of toddlers who nursed who used terms like "nunnies" or "boobies" Or "milkies" or whatever but also knew that they were actually called breasts. My toddlers who nursed were no different.

    I don't care what other peoples children call their body parts. I do think it strange if a parent teaches them "elbow", "eyebrow" but the vagina is just this vague mystery area, like a Barbie Doll's non crotch or something. I never mentioned bad parenting, so maybe you are reading my posts incorrectly again?
    It very much comes across that you think anyone who A. wants to be the one who teaches their child about sex and B. Does not use the term vagina is a bad parent. That may not be what you mean, but it is how it comes across.
    Rivergallery likes this.

    ~Bonita~

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    Yeah, maybe you should hide my posts? I'm the one who talks to my kids about sex (I also don't believe that I will be the only one to in their lifetime), why on earth would I call myself a bad parent?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    See, I had the exact opposite experience growing up in the 70s. My mom was a prude and she didn't want to talk about anything related to sex or bodies. I don't think I saw her naked more than a handful of times and she was highly embarassed when it did happen. Luckily I had friends whose parents gave them awesome books, I had a great conversation with a friend's mom who was having a baby, and I had teachers who were open to frank honest discussions. When my mom finally got around to talking to me about periods when I was 12, I told her she was about a year too late. And that was even after she had another baby, even that didn't trigger to talk with us about it. I'm sure my mom would have opted me out of any kind of sex ed even though she didn't do the job at home herelf. So I'm glad I grew up in the 70s and had access both to accurate information and to adults who *would* talk with me even when my mom wouldn't. I think not knowing would have been far scarier.
    I guess for me there were different types of information. I knew about reproduction and periods early, didn't scare me at all. It was hearing about things like fellatio that scared me as a little kid. I had to do what? When would I have to do that? It was a really scary thought.

    So I'm all for sex ed and I'm all for full information, I just think too much too soon can be overwhelming to a child who is not particularly sexually awakened yet.

    Trust me, my kids will know all about periods long before they need to.
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    It very much comes across that you think anyone who A. wants to be the one who teaches their child about sex and B. Does not use the term vagina is a bad parent. That may not be what you mean, but it is how it comes across.
    I don't think that is true, seems like there is some interpretation here.
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