In Kindergarten?

91 posts / 0 new
Last post
AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560
In Kindergarten?

Chicago Passes Sex-Ed for Kindergartners - ABC News

What do you think, Sex Ed in Kindergarten?

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

Nope period.. Another reason I will homeschool till it becomes illegal.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

I could get behind this if it is done at an age appropriate level. Kids are getting the information anyways, so I think it is good to be totally up front about it and make sure they are getting accurate information. My kindergartener came home from school the other day and informed me that babies come out of the vagina (which she knew from me) and that there was sperm involved :eek: All the girls in her class also have 'boyfriends' and there seems to be a lot of chasing and kissing going on. I think it is important for them to learn boundries as well.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

"ftmom" wrote:

I could get behind this if it is done at an age appropriate level. Kids are getting the information anyways, so I think it is good to be totally up front about it and make sure they are getting accurate information. My kindergartener came home from school the other day and informed me that babies come out of the vagina (which she knew from me) and that there was sperm involved :eek: All the girls in her class also have 'boyfriends' and there seems to be a lot of chasing and kissing going on. I think it is important for them to learn boundries as well.

Yikes! I have a kindergartner and I can not imagine this. Call me over protective all you want, but this is not a conversation I want anyone other than myself having with my girls at this age.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I think that its great! From the brief description of the age/grade breakouts I think that it sounds very age appropriate. I was one of those lucky late puberty kids, not even getting my first period till I was 15, so all this 4th grade puberty stuff is crazy to me ~ but with so many overweight kids and all the gross hormones we get from our milk and whatnot it seems that kids are hitting puberty earlier and earlier so I think that the earlier start is good and important.

I don't understand the desire to shelter ones kids from reality, like anatomy and stuff. I believe all people (and children are people) deserve to have an understanding of how their bodies work. Its natural and healthy, not some super special dirty shameful secret.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

I am fine with us....most other 1st world countries have a similar program and start at age 5 and have no where near the rate of teen pregnancy that we do. I speak to my girls on age appropriate topics and al yays have answ
ered their questions. We do out kids a disservice by not doing this.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

"Potter75" wrote:

I don't understand the desire to shelter ones kids from reality, like anatomy and stuff. I believe all people (and children are people) deserve to have an understanding of how their bodies work. Its natural and healthy, not some super special dirty shameful secret.

It is not sheltering your child to be the one that teaches them about Sex ED.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Then teach them. And know that the school is also reinforcing what you have taught them. To be against that or to have a huge set of rules about who can ever talk to your children about their own bodies/anatomy etc. is very clearly sheltering or being super controlling/overprotective to me.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

"Potter75" wrote:

I think that its great! From the brief description of the age/grade breakouts I think that it sounds very age appropriate. I was one of those lucky late puberty kids, not even getting my first period till I was 15, so all this 4th grade puberty stuff is crazy to me ~ but with so many overweight kids and all the gross hormones we get from our milk and whatnot it seems that kids are hitting puberty earlier and earlier so I think that the earlier start is good and important.

I don't understand the desire to shelter ones kids from reality, like anatomy and stuff. I believe all people (and children are people) deserve to have an understanding of how their bodies work. Its natural and healthy, not some super special dirty shameful secret.

Teaching about ones own development isn't the same as sex ed

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"Rivergallery" wrote:

Teaching about ones own development isn't the same as sex ed

Did you read the article you are debating about?

Under the new policy, the youngest students – the kindergartners — will learn the basics about anatomy, reproduction, healthy relationships and personal safety. Through the third grade, the sex-ed lessons will focus on the family, feelings and appropriate and inappropriate touching. In the fourth grade, students will start learning about puberty, and HIV. Discussions will emphasize that the virus cannot be transmitted through everyday contact such as shaking hands or sharing food.
From the fifth through the 12th grade, the emphasis will be on reproduction, the transmission and prevention of HIV/AIDS, and other sexually-transmitted diseases, bullying and contraception, including abstinence.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

We have been very intentional in how we teach our kids about sex. We do start talking to them in kindy. I just do not trust others to stay in line with what we are teaching. Call me sheltering or overprotective, I am okay with that on this subject

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

Well it did say that parents could opt out if they want.

I think learning anatomy is fine. And "reproduction" is vague. I think it's fine to talk about how babies grow inside their mother's bodies, but discussing the sexual aspect of it or childbirth is too much for 5-year-olds. It might be okay for a handful, but I can tell you my daughter (who is in kindergarten) would be disturbed by those things. My son has always defined his boundaries for us, and he STILL doesn't want to know the details of how babies are made. I don't think 5-year-olds benefit from knowing about sex, to be honest. It would have scared me at that age.

(Melis, I was a total late bloomer physically too! No period 'til 16.)

I am pro sex-ed for older kids for sure.

I think there's zero issue if parents can opt out, though.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

Yikes! I have a kindergartner and I can not imagine this. Call me over protective all you want, but this is not a conversation I want anyone other than myself having with my girls at this age.

But this was another kindergartener educating all the others! I would much rather an adult have this conversation than another 6 year old.

ETA: When I was pregnant and subbing, it was the littles that wanted to talk about it most. And every once in awhile one would come out with something about how mommy (or aunt, etc) had a baby in her tummy but it died, or they would want to know how the baby got their, or how it would get out, etc. I felt uncomfortable having these conversations with them because I didnt know at what point a parent would think I had gone too far. I would have loved to have a curriculum to fall back on! But my point is that most kids know a little bit anyways, either from parents or friends, and they are curious, they want to learn. I would have no problem with my kids being given the appropriate information from an adult.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

"ftmom" wrote:

But this was another kindergartener educating all the others! I would much rather an adult have this conversation than another 6 year old.

ETA: When I was pregnant and subbing, it was the littles that wanted to talk about it most. And every once in awhile one would come out with something about how mommy (or aunt, etc) had a baby in her tummy but it died, or they would want to know how the baby got their, or how it would get out, etc. I felt uncomfortable having these conversations with them because I didnt know at what point a parent would think I had gone too far. I would have loved to have a curriculum to fall back on! But my point is that most kids know a little bit anyways, either from parents or friends, and they are curious, they want to learn. I would have no problem with my kids being given the appropriate information from an adult.

I do not have an issue with a child learning about sex when they start to ask questions. I do want to be the adult that talks to my girls about it though. Not much with my 5 year old, but with my 7 year old we read together a book made by American Girl that dealt with all sorts of issues that might be relevant to a young teen. We talked over any questions that she had. I do not believe this is an unhealthy approach. As time goes on we will address questions and issues as they arise. I do not want to hide information from my girls, but I do want to be their source of information. I am 100% ok with being called over protective in this situation.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

I have no issue with it, especially if it's a program where the parents get invited along as well. My 2 year old DS has started asking for a baby now when he has seen me cuddling other peoples babies, so I have spoken to him about how babies have to grow in their Mummy's belly first and then they are born. Age appropriate and no harm done.

Some parents feel very uncomfortable discussing those issues, if I only had sex ed from my Mum my knowledge would have been what I could learn from Dolly doctor (a column in a teen magazine) and the book 'every woman' which was handed to me at about 13 and I was told to read it.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

I really think that at that age -- 5 -- it's a lot about the individual kid. My kids are very clear on how much they want to know. They know they were both in my belly, but only once has one of them ever asked how the baby comes out, and when I started gently with "the doctor takes the baby out" the conversation ended. If they ask I'll tell them whatever they want to know. but they seem adept at defining their own boundaries in terms of knowledge.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

We seem to have focused in on sex ed as making and having babies. Lets not forget that there is a lot more to it than that. This program they are planning will talk about healthy relationships, boundaries, good and bad touching.....etc. As I said, there seems to be a lot of chasing and kissing in DD's class. She is not into that at all. We only kiss our family at this point and she is not interested in kissing boys. She needs to know that if a boy corners her and forces her to be kissed that she has been violated and needs to tell someone. For her sake and the boys. As harmless as it seems to us as adults, a child who forces 'sexual' acts on another child can sometimes be a sign of abuse in itself. And I think it is really important to DD that she learn early that her body is her own and that it is OK to tell people what is happening with it. I will not always be around and if they are already talking about these things then hopefully she will be more comfortable talking to the other adults in her life. I would love to have this program here.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

From the descriptions of what they're teaching, I don't really see an issue with it. We never did the whole "calling reproductive organs cutesy names" thing (that seems weirder to me - why do they need a little nickname???), and of course now that I'm having a baby, T has had a lot of questions which I've tried to answer in an honest and informative (but age appropriate) way, so having him go to kindergarten and hear that he has a penis and girls have a vagina, and that babies grow in their mommies bellies and daddies put them there and what not is not something that bothers me. He already knows that. I'm also fine with them reinforcing messages about inappropriate touching. That's a message that I think is important for kids to hear, and it doesn't bother me to have the school reinforce it.

For those parents that aren't fine with it, they can opt out, so I really don't see the issue.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"ftmom" wrote:

We seem to have focused in on sex ed as making and having babies. Lets not forget that there is a lot more to it than that. This program they are planning will talk about healthy relationships, boundaries, good and bad touching.....etc. As I said, there seems to be a lot of chasing and kissing in DD's class. She is not into that at all. We only kiss our family at this point and she is not interested in kissing boys. She needs to know that if a boy corners her and forces her to be kissed that she has been violated and needs to tell someone. For her sake and the boys. As harmless as it seems to us as adults, a child who forces 'sexual' acts on another child can sometimes be a sign of abuse in itself. And I think it is really important to DD that she learn early that her body is her own and that it is OK to tell people what is happening with it. I will not always be around and if they are already talking about these things then hopefully she will be more comfortable talking to the other adults in her life. I would love to have this program here.

For some reason it won't let me "like" this post, but I thought this was a great point too.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

"ftmom" wrote:

We seem to have focused in on sex ed as making and having babies. Lets not forget that there is a lot more to it than that. This program they are planning will talk about healthy relationships, boundaries, good and bad touching.....etc. As I said, there seems to be a lot of chasing and kissing in DD's class. She is not into that at all. We only kiss our family at this point and she is not interested in kissing boys. She needs to know that if a boy corners her and forces her to be kissed that she has been violated and needs to tell someone. For her sake and the boys. As harmless as it seems to us as adults, a child who forces 'sexual' acts on another child can sometimes be a sign of abuse in itself. And I think it is really important to DD that she learn early that her body is her own and that it is OK to tell people what is happening with it. I will not always be around and if they are already talking about these things then hopefully she will be more comfortable talking to the other adults in her life. I would love to have this program here.

They already do that in our school, and I have no issue with it. I was only speaking to the part that said they'd talk about reproduction to the kindergarten kids....just don't want to scare any of them! I remember hearing about sexual intercourse at a very young age and finding the whole idea terrifying. Smile

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

I think this is a great idea. If you don't like it, opt out.

We are very open with our children and even our 3 year old knows that daddies have a special seed that they put into mommies with their penis to grow a baby. They've all been present for birth(s) and know where babies come out. If you present it matter of factly and just the natural order of things, you'd be surprised what they are fine with. I think it is when we build up this whole veil of secrecy that you are letting them in on some big, secret of "sex" that you make it a big deal. We use age appropriate language, the correct terms for the anatomy, and our kids have all responded really well to it. Right now, we present it as totally transactional, that you do that to get a baby, and haven't introduced the pleasure part of it. But we also acknowledge that we knows it feels good to touch oneself, but that we do that in the privacy of the bathroom or bedroom, and that it is okay to explore alone.

I don't think our kids have been scared by this idea. We also talk about why it is important to choose a partner carefully, bc babies are a lot of work and you need help raising them. We have some family members who are single parents, and we discuss ways that that is challenging for them. And last year when our 17 yo niece found herself pregnant, our then 6 year old asked "Why did she let that boy put his penis in her?" Fair question, me thinks! We also discuss different ways to parenthood and our friends who have adopted or our gay friends who were inseminated (the doctor puts the seed in using a tool at the doctor's office, the seeds came from a man who donated them....)

The kids are surprised that we did "that" 5 times, but we just shrug and acknowledge that it is surprising but that when they are older they may want to do the same.

Oh and we have that American Girl book-- it doesn't talk at all about sex. Only anatomy and about puberty.....

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

Audra, that's SO the opposite of my kids! Funny. We do use correct terms for anatomy, but my son especially really does NOT want to know anything about how people interact physically. He once asked my husband why they needed two of each animal on Noah's ark. Dave started by saying, "Well, if you want to make more animals, you need a male and a female..." and before he could go any farther, Nathaniel said, "I'm sure I don't want to hear the rest of this!" and changed the subject.

My kids know about gay, they know about adoption, they know about their bodies, but boy do they NOT want to know about anything that happens when you start putting those parts together. Hilarious.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

We approach this just like Audra. As we have kids of both genders and all shower together still, they are quite well aware of penis, vagina etc. They understand why Mom has big boobs (big being relative! Lol and Dad does not. They understand where babies come out (my third was a planned homebirth, so we read lots about this. They think its cool!). I agree with Alissa too that I don't understand cutsey made up words for body parts. I mean, my two year old couldn't say vagina, so she still to this day calls it her 'gina :), but she also knows the right way to say it, now.

I'm also sure that they are going to hear other things from other kids. I vividly remember being told about intercourse in 2nd grade from another child. I WISH that my Mom had talked about those things with me from a young age so that I could have felt comfortable asking her about what I had heard when I got home. I wasn't and was left feeling distinctly uncomfortable with the whole idea and was left with no one to talk to it about.

I think that hearing things from other kids is a cool part of normal life, and I look forward to having child initiated conversations with my kids. To think that I am only ever going to be the one to teach/tell them anything is super backwards to me. I didn't learn that way, and nor will my kids. That is the fun of having discussions about this stuff from an early age (when they are interested ~ with my third and my HUGE belly the kids were extremely interested in how the baby got in there and how it was going to get out (they were 2 and 3 at the time). Those are very natural conversations to have. Its also very natural for kids to talk to one another, and its healthy. If I present this all as my SPECIAL DOMAIN ONLY TALK ABOUT SEX OR BODIES WITH MOMMY I think that its really unnatural or makes it a fear based thing with kids.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

"ftmom" wrote:

We seem to have focused in on sex ed as making and having babies. Lets not forget that there is a lot more to it than that. This program they are planning will talk about healthy relationships, boundaries, good and bad touching.....etc. As I said, there seems to be a lot of chasing and kissing in DD's class. She is not into that at all. We only kiss our family at this point and she is not interested in kissing boys. She needs to know that if a boy corners her and forces her to be kissed that she has been violated and needs to tell someone. For her sake and the boys. As harmless as it seems to us as adults, a child who forces 'sexual' acts on another child can sometimes be a sign of abuse in itself. And I think it is really important to DD that she learn early that her body is her own and that it is OK to tell people what is happening with it. I will not always be around and if they are already talking about these things then hopefully she will be more comfortable talking to the other adults in her life. I would love to have this program here.

We've dealt with this already. DD's cousins (brothers ages 6 and 4) restrained her and kissed her. They were at their great auntie's house playing downstairs when it happened. She tried to get away to tell, but they wouldn't let her. We had to confront DH's sister and aunt about it. While DD knows what is appropriate touching is and isn't, we will no longer allow her to play with her cousins without direct adult supervision. It made me feel sick when she told us. Just totally out of the blue. But I think the main reason why she did tell us was because she knew that what they did to her was wrong and that she knows she would never ever get in trouble for telling us.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

Melis, I was the 2nd grader telling the other kids about intercourse.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

I know they will hear about it from other children. We talk about it from an early age, even my kindergartener could tell you quite a bit. I just feel parents know their children the best, they are best equipped to talk about it with them. My oldest needed the whole story in little bits and pieces, that was where her comfort level was. My second DD heard it all in one big chunk. They both have come back with very interesting questions.
I also think this is very personal based on what the parents experience was a child. My parents were totally open about sex. My MIL handed DH a book at 15 (like he didnt know about sex before then) and told him if he had questions to ask his dad. Then DH had a teacher basically tell her class that sex is dirty and bad. Based on this Dh is very adamant that sex be talked about openly so that the girls dont ever think it is bad or that they cant ask us questions, and he doesnt want other adults to give them an idea we think is wrong

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

I understand that the American Girl book talks about puberty and anatomy and not sex. I believe that is what is necessary at this age. This conversation inspired me to talk to my 5 year old while we were on the way home from the store today. I told her girls have a Virgina and boys a penis. I also explained that no one was to touch hers nor was she to touch a boys penis. She said ok and moved on like it went in one ear and out the other. She just is not interested at this point.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

Melis, I was the 2nd grader telling the other kids about intercourse.

I will never forget it, where I was sitting, even the name of the girl who told me! So funny. And hooray for another late bloomer........I remember telling my Mom that I wanted to get a bra in like 8th grade and she laughed. Ha. Ha. Not funny! Nate also was a late bloomer, he grew like 8 inches his senior year and freshman year of college, we joke that with our gene pool our kids might not hit puberty till they are like 20 Smile

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

"Potter75" wrote:

I will never forget it, where I was sitting, even the name of the girl who told me! So funny. And hooray for another late bloomer........I remember telling my Mom that I wanted to get a bra in like 8th grade and she laughed. Ha. Ha. Not funny! Nate also was a late bloomer, he grew like 8 inches his senior year and freshman year of college, we joke that with our gene pool our kids might not hit puberty till they are like 20 Smile

I remember it too, only I was the one telling, and the girl I told (whose name I also remember) said in shock, "My parents would NEVER do that!" I told her they had done it at least twice, because she had a brother. Oy!

And yes, thank goodness my Mom warned me that I'd be a late bloomer. It didn't help me emotionally but at least I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I didn't need a bra in 8th grade either but nature more than made up for that. Both of my parents were late bloomers too. Fortunately Dave was not, so the kids have a chance.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

My mom sat me down for the puberty talk when I was 9 and all I could think was 'just hurry up already so i can get back outside and play.' She was a very early bloomer, about 10 i think, and figured I would be too, but I was going on 14 and it arrived in the middle of the night while I was sleeping over at my bff's house....in her bed. Oopsies Smile

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

I have kids that totally wish to switch places in the puberty game. My oldest started getting boobs in the 5th grade and started all the other stuff this year, she thinks we should not get boobs until we are pregnant and we need them My 5th grader still needs to sit in a booster seat, she has NOTHING started at all and she would love to have some boobs like her friends.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

"mom3girls" wrote:

I have kids that totally wish to switch places in the puberty game. My oldest started getting boobs in the 5th grade and started all the other stuff this year, she thinks we should not get boobs until we are pregnant and we need them My 5th grader still needs to sit in a booster seat, she has NOTHING started at all and she would love to have some boobs like her friends.

Smart girl!

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

I remember it too, only I was the one telling, and the girl I told (whose name I also remember) said in shock, "My parents would NEVER do that!" I told her they had done it at least twice, because she had a brother. Oy!

This made me laugh.

So, T was asking about how babies get in their mommies tummies, and I started out general like "Daddies put them there."
T: "How?"
Me: "The daddy plants a seed in the mommy's belly, and that seed grows into a baby."
T: HOW? How does he get the seed in there?
Me: "Uh. With his penis. He puts his penis in the mommy's vagina and leaves the seed there."
T: "WHAT!?!? NO!!!!"

The way he said no was HILARIOUS. Like he had never heard anything more preposterous in his entire life. I died.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

Thats so funny Alissa! My kids have never asked how the baby gets there, in fact DD tells me stories about how she played with her brothers in there, and there was one more baby too :busted:

I did make the mistake of telling DD when she asked how the baby could come out my Vagina, since it is so small (good question by the way), that my vagina changes 'like magic' so the baby can get out, and then changes back again. She went away for a day or so to mull that over, and then came back and asked if she could watch the 'magic' when the baby was born. I had to do some fancy back peddling on that one.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

Jace hasn't asked yet. Shew.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

It isn't an issue of "sheltering" it is the issue of correct and appropriate information for each individual child when and how they need it. I feel as a parent I do that better than the school. My boys both know the whole deal. Even at 3 they knew about periods and pain.. lol there is really know hiding it when they see a tampon and you tell them not to play with it, and they wonder why.. or why they can't sit on your lap once a month.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

"Rivergallery" wrote:

It isn't an issue of "sheltering" it is the issue of correct and appropriate information for each individual child when and how they need it. I feel as a parent I do that better than the school. My boys both know the whole deal. Even at 3 they knew about periods and pain.. lol there is really know hiding it when they see a tampon and you tell them not to play with it, and they wonder why.. or why they can't sit on your lap once a month.

Well the school seems to allow for that as parents can opt out. Oh lord my children would be terrified by periods.

I know it's none of my business, but why can't they sit on your lap when you have your period? No need to answer if it's private.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

Well the school seems to allow for that as parents can opt out. Oh lord my children would be terrified by periods.

I know it's none of my business, but why can't they sit on your lap when you have your period? No need to answer if it's private.

It was the cramping was horrid Smile Opting out of everything is very hard, and you don't know exactly what is being taught, even if handed the exact curriculum.. good thing I homeschool I guess.. maybe I am just too picky.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

"Rivergallery" wrote:

It was the cramping was horrid Smile Opting out of everything is very hard, and you don't know exactly what is being taught, even if handed the exact curriculum.. good thing I homeschool I guess.. maybe I am just too picky.

This is a problem we have run into, even with really awesome curriculum teachers cannot control what kids ask. Last year DD went to a class at school that was just supposed to be about the changes of puberty, but one of the kids asked about what age the teacher thought girls were ready for sex, the conversation spiraled out of control from there. Molly was fine, we have always been very open, but she felt really bad for a few girls that she was sure had not heard about sex yet. This all took place in 6th grade at a private christian school.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"mom3girls" wrote:

This is a problem we have run into, even with really awesome curriculum teachers cannot control what kids ask. Last year DD went to a class at school that was just supposed to be about the changes of puberty, but one of the kids asked about what age the teacher thought girls were ready for sex, the conversation spiraled out of control from there. Molly was fine, we have always been very open, but she felt really bad for a few girls that she was sure had not heard about sex yet. This all took place in 6th grade at a private christian school.

I think that its wild to think about a 6th grader not knowing about sex. Like, criminal wild.

The thought of keeping my children out of school because I am worried about them hearing about sex is just cray cray.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

6th graders are what, 12 or so? I hate to say it because of course no one wants their 12 year old to be sexually active, but I got my first period when I was 12. By that age, if girls don't have some basic knowledge of how to protect themselves and preferably adults willing to talk realistically about sex with them, they could literally get pregnant for lack of knowledge. That's a real problem IMO.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

6th graders are what, 12 or so? I hate to say it because of course no one wants their 12 year old to be sexually active, but I got my first period when I was 12. By that age, if girls don't have some basic knowledge of how to protect themselves and preferably adults willing to talk realistically about sex with them, they could literally get pregnant for lack of knowledge. That's a real problem IMO.

I agree! When I think about a girl hitting puberty without knowing about how her body works it just breaks my heart. I think that it is awful to not equip our children with knowledge of their own bodies from an early age. Christianitys obsession with hoarding sex knowledge is probably a huge contributor in why rates of porn addiction and abortion are so high in the Christian community.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

I agree that 12 is too old to be without that knowledge. for sure. My concerns are really with the very little ones hearing stuff before they're ready and being scared by it. I don't want my five-year-old daughter worrying about penises going into vaginas, or periods. Maybe that's okay for some kids but mine would find that pretty scary.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

I talked to the moms of the 2 girls that didnt know about sex. One said her daughter knew all about puberty, and some basics about sex, but had not asked any questions so the mom had not finished the talk. She was waiting for her to ask the questions. The other mom was a little naive (in my opinion) and thought her daughter didnt need to know about it yet.
One of the teachers on our staff has a 5th grader, she still has not had the talk. She really thinks her daughter is not ready for the talk, and also thinks her daughter doesnt know anything about it. We are trying to convince her it is not a big deal to have the talk, but she is horrified about the idea of having it. In all other aspects she is a parent that I have so much respect for.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

I agree that 12 is too old to be without that knowledge. for sure. My concerns are really with the very little ones hearing stuff before they're ready and being scared by it. I don't want my five-year-old daughter worrying about penises going into vaginas, or periods. Maybe that's okay for some kids but mine would find that pretty scary.

I understand what you are saying. But I really do feel that if it is presented to kids as factual, this is what happens stuff, and they are with their peers who accept it as such then most kids will be OK with this. There will, of course, be exceptions, but I think that is why the opt out is available. I think our kids are often much more capable then we think they are. For example, after the 'magic vagina' conversation with DD, I explained to her that giving birth is actually really painful, and Mommy prefers to be alone so I dont have to worry about my other kids at the same time. I thought it would distress her to know it was painful, but it totally didnt. She was OK with it, in fact I thought she had forgotten, and then she asked me about it after baby was born.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3186

"ftmom" wrote:

I understand what you are saying. But I really do feel that if it is presented to kids as factual, this is what happens stuff, and they are with their peers who accept it as such then most kids will be OK with this. There will, of course, be exceptions, but I think that is why the opt out is available. I think our kids are often much more capable then we think they are. For example, after the 'magic vagina' conversation with DD, I explained to her that giving birth is actually really painful, and Mommy prefers to be alone so I dont have to worry about my other kids at the same time. I thought it would distress her to know it was painful, but it totally didnt. She was OK with it, in fact I thought she had forgotten, and then she asked me about it after baby was born.

I guess I am speaking as someone who was told too much too soon. Not about periods, that was fine, not about reproduction, which was fine, but about sex and intimate acts and I found it scary and disturbing until my Mom gave me the awesome information that I didn't have to do it until the day came that I wanted to. I was a child of the 70s and we were exposed to FAR too much. It was just scary.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

Parents that do not teach their children about sex has nothing to do with being Christian or not Christian.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

Parents that do not teach their children about sex has nothing to do with being Christian or not Christian.

Maybe. Growing up in a conservative Christian school though I do disagree with you based on my personal experience. And the stats dont lie on both the abortion and the porn thing. And I was replying to someone's comment about their Christian school. And you and RIvergallery (I believe?) are both religious and both Christian and talk specifically about being extremely concerned about other people talking to your children about sex and you both homeschool. So, I don't know......there is perhaps a trend that you just don't want to see? Didn't you just say that you told your 5 year old for the first time that she has a vagina?

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

"Potter75" wrote:

Maybe. Growing up in a conservative Christian school though I do disagree with you based on my personal experience. And the stats dont lie on both the abortion and the porn thing. And I was replying to someone's comment about their Christian school. And you and RIvergallery (I believe?) are both religious and both Christian and talk specifically about being extremely concerned about other people talking to your children about sex and you both homeschool. So, I don't know......there is perhaps a trend that you just don't want to see? Didn't you just say that you told your 5 year old for the first time that she has a vagina?

I told my five year old the scientific term for that body part for the first time recently. It is not like she got to 5 years old without noticing that she had a vagina.

There are many people on this board who have said that they are Christian who do not share those same views. I would say a lot more that do not share the same views than do. I grew up in a Christian family and my parents were very frank about sex and puberty and BC. There are many Christian families that are. Yes, there might be a percentage of parents that do not teach their children anything, but you can not judge all Christians by a minority.

I was taught, and I believe that sex is a beautiful thing created by God that is meant to be enjoyed. That there are boundaries yes (marriage), but that it is a fun, wonderful, experience. I can clearly remember my Dad telling me that if sex was not fun no one would do it. It is common knowledge in my family that at 62 years old my parents still enjoy each other in every way.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Presumably she also noticed that she had an elbow as well but I'm assuming that she knew what it was called long ago? Again, I'm speaking from my personal experience and then making examples given posts on here. You can disagree with me but you can't really tell me I didn't have the experience that I had, or that I'm not pointing out commonalities that are here on this thread in black and white.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

"Potter75" wrote:

Presumably she also noticed that she had an elbow as well but I'm assuming that she knew what it was called long ago? Again, I'm speaking from my personal experience and then making examples given posts on here. You can disagree with me but you can't really tell me I didn't have the experience that I had, or that I'm not pointing out commonalities that are here on this thread in black and white.

You can use your experience yes, and so can I. Not all Christians wait until their child is an adult before talking to them about sex. Does it happen? I'm sure, is it an absolute that all Christians will do that or that the reason they would is that they are Christian? No.

Pages