Now OkCupid lets you filter out plus-size dates | New York Post
Disgusting? Perfectly fine? What do you all think?
I think it's perfectly fine. First, people have to identify themselves as being in a certain weight group. Second, if someone is going to be that rigid about another person's weight, isn't it better to just have it out there to begin with? I'd rather not meet someone at all than have them meet me and reject me based solely on my size.
It's not just plus-size...you can filter out any weight group someone selects for themselves, and if they don't select, they can't be filtered out.
I have no issue with it.
My first reaction to reading the article was that it was disgusting. Not that I thought it should be illegal or anything, but just that it was in poor taste. I guess I am just thankful that I met DH young and have never been in a position to need on-line dating. (I am currently reading a book about a mail order bride though. Can you imagine?)
I met my husband through an online dating site. Back then people weren't even posting pictures. But it's no different from a bar or a party or anything like that...people move towards the person they're attracted to or interested in. What I liked about the online thing was that instead of seeing appearance first and then getting to know someone, you'd get to know them (a bit) first and THEN see the physical package. But no matter what, both have to work or there's no relationship, so I don't really see the difference. If you're not attracted to someone, that's just how it is. Online is a great way to meet someone because you can bypass all that physical stuff at the beginning and get a sense of who that person is. I was initially drawn in by Dave's sense of humor and his quirky way of thinking about things...then I met him in person and he turned out to be handsome too!
I agree with Laurie. It's something you have to actively choose (your weight option that is on the site).
I wouldn't go out with a super skinny guy. It's not what I'm attracted to. So I would consider filtering that out. Same for shorter guys. I'm 5'2" and dh is 6'2". I always tended to date taller guys.
If it was specifically stated "no plus size" without any options to filter out other body types..then I would say it was mean.
Maybe it's just been so long since I've dated but I just can't see why you would want to limit your horizons. In my wildest dreams I didn't imagine that my life-mate would be the same height I am, and about 75 pounds lighter. If I'd limited myself to guys taller than me, or heavier than me, I'd have never had the chance to meet the wonderful man that I'm married to. Instead, I was open to anything and he was funny & charming, and more importantly, new in town and completely unattached but not because he was running away from a bad situation. We started spending time together and had a lot of fun, and things grew from there. I think anyone who limits their options of life mates to people within a specific group is limiting their options for happiness.
I think a lot of people feel that way. I also think a lot of people are simply not attracted to certain body types or have other "dealbreaker" type things and that's how they want to restrict themselves.
It's like religion....some people only want to date people of the same religion. I bet there's a filter for that too, or at least for levels of religiousness...I know there was when I was doing online dating.
These are the same filters we use in everyday life, they're just putting them on the site as optional. Some people have more filters, some have fewer, some have none. Some are so narrow that they already have their cardboard cutout all figured out.
I had a bunch of rules for who I wanted to spend my life with -- 3 to be specific -- and Dave broke all of them. Had we not met online I don't know if I would have had the chance to see who he was inside and give him a chance. None of the rules were physical but a quick chat in a social setting might have actually ruled him out for me. Instead he charmed me with his humor and interesting point of view.
Everyone has what they want. Is my husband a little different than I pictured...sure. He's tall with dark hair and dark eyes which is my usual but he was thinner than others that I've dated (he is bulkier now ).
But I would filter out smokers for sure. It's a deal breaker for me.
If I'm going to the trouble of doing online dating...I'm going to try to filter to people I normally find attractive.
Philosphically this is a good point, but if you are working with a rather giant potential pool of people, i think you are forced to apply some 'filters' or else the task becomes unmanagebale. Yep, you might end up throwing someone great aside but thats a risk you have to take.
Maybe if you have trouble finding someone with the filters you've selected then its time to tweak them a little. And if you did find someone with the filters you selected, whats the sense in fretting about people you didn't meet.
But you have to start somewhere.