Machiavelli vs. Attachment Parenting - Page 2
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Thread: Machiavelli vs. Attachment Parenting

  1. #11
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    AP seems very natural to me, so maybe that's why I don't mind the label. And I do find the label more helpful than just doing what I feel I need to do. Sometimes what I feel I need to do is tie my kids up & lock them in a box! Sometimes what I feel I need to do is run away. What I do in those instances is come back to the principles of AP and think, what is the *right* thing to *do* and not just what feels right, kwim? Is this fight worth it in terms of our family balance? Is this an emotionally sensitive response? Am I using a nourishing touch or a hostile touch? When Tiven says, "Susie gets to stay up until ten," I explain that Susie is not always a very nice person to Tiven, so maybe Susie needs more sleep instead of Tiven getting less. Having those eight little easy-to-remember keys is great for me.
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

  2. #12
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    Default *humorous reference to ****ism made, parenting practice mentioned

    Yeah, for the record I don't call myself an anything parent. But in answering the debate question, if I had to chose one or the other, I would be machiavellian as per this article, its not a parenting label I've ever heard before or used or anything. I've gotten in big trouble on here for my dislike of parenting labels and the way I think that they are generally for insecure parents. FTR I hardly think handing each kid $10 to get through Target is Machiavellian (thats freaking 40 bucks from the get go!!!). If it is I'm more of a Hiltlerian parent, hahahaha. Life is easy if the kids know that they aren't at stores to get things for themselves Having three kids close together has made making and sticking to rules and boundaries super easy as it was simple survival.
    Last edited by Potter75; 05-10-2013 at 03:10 PM. Reason: *Target mentioned, Children mentioned, closely spaced children mentioned, money mentioned, insecurity mentioned, parenting labels mentioned.

  3. #13
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    No kidding, I say "that's not what we are here for" at target more often than I actually buy something for each kid there. Although I almost always buy a pack of gum for them to share. Other than that, they know if we were going to the store to get them something or not. If I am at target to buy garbage bags and a pair of soccer shorts for Emma, that means More often than not I leave with garbage bags and soccer shorts for Emma and nothing else. I don't see a reason to make the kids expect a ten dollar gift each time we go shopping. Can you imagine how full of junk my house would be if I did that? Oi!
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  4. #14
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    Yeah, for the record I don't call myself an anything parent. But in answering the debate question, if I had to chose one or the other, I would be machiavellian as per this article, its not a parenting label I've ever heard before or used or anything. I've gotten in big trouble on here for my dislike of parenting labels and the way I think that they are generally for insecure parents. FTR I hardly think handing each kid $10 to get through Target is Machiavellian (thats freaking 40 bucks from the get go!!!). If it is I'm more of a Hiltlerian parent, hahahaha. Life is easy if the kids know that they aren't at stores to get things for themselves Having three kids close together has made making and sticking to rules and boundaries super easy as it was simple survival.
    I say the same thing about having 4 spread out. If we had little rules or if I didnt hold firm to the boundaries it would be pure chaos here.
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    Lisa
    Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson

  5. #15
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    The money at Target thing got me too. That seems like a lot of money! We have a rule that the kids arent allowed to ask for anything at the store. If they do, we for sure wont get it.....and I have left the grocery store without cheese before to prove it DD has gotten really cute about it now and will compare which cookies are her favorite, ask for things to be put on her 'birthday list' etc, instead of ask for them. At least she is being creative and it is not a constant 'I want, I want, I want'.

    I also am not a fan of encouraging competition between the kids for grades. Maybe it is just a matter of knowing what will work with your kids, but she presents it as this solution to one kid getting bad grades, and I am sitting there asking if the kid is struggling for a reason. If this hadnt worked, it could devastate a child who tries and tries, but doesnt get great grades.
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    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  6. #16
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    The money at Target thing got me too. That seems like a lot of money! We have a rule that the kids arent allowed to ask for anything at the store. If they do, we for sure wont get it.....and I have left the grocery store without cheese before to prove it DD has gotten really cute about it now and will compare which cookies are her favorite, ask for things to be put on her 'birthday list' etc, instead of ask for them. At least she is being creative and it is not a constant 'I want, I want, I want'.

    I also am not a fan of encouraging competition between the kids for grades. Maybe it is just a matter of knowing what will work with your kids, but she presents it as this solution to one kid getting bad grades, and I am sitting there asking if the kid is struggling for a reason. If this hadnt worked, it could devastate a child who tries and tries, but doesnt get great grades.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  7. #17
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
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    Kyla, I am with you on making your children compete against each other, it just doesnt sit well with me. We like to celebrate each others achievements here and not use them to belittle another child.
    In the past DD1 was upset because dd2 is a way better piano player, I did mention that dd2 practices all day every time she can, then I pointed out that she could be very happy that Mo is so talented on the piano.
    Lisa
    Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson

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