Merging traffic

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Merging traffic

A huge blinking sign indicates that the left lane ahead is closed for road construction. The lane is closed more than a block ahead and everyone for most of that block is merging nicely, so the left lane is pretty much empty right up to the construction work. A car pulls out from behind you & drives up that lane, trying unsuccessfully to cut in. Is it unethical to keep as close as possible to the car in front of you, to keep that guy out?

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"Spacers" wrote:

A huge blinking sign indicates that the left lane ahead is closed for road construction. The lane is closed more than a block ahead and everyone for most of that block is merging nicely, so the left lane is pretty much empty right up to the construction work. A car pulls out from behind you & drives up that lane, trying unsuccessfully to cut in. Is it unethical to keep as close as possible to the car in front of you, to keep that guy out?

Hahaha. I don't know about the ethics involved, but it's darn tempting. I hate it when people try to "cut" in line.

I think I may suffer from mild road rage. There are a lot of things that people do in cars that make me mad.

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Is it ethical? Maybe. The person is flaunting the rules and cannot expect someone to let them in. There is also a point where it becomes hazardous to let them in as it is too close to the construction. Is it satisfying? Oh yes!

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I tend to always get closer to the person in front of me if I see an idiot getting out of line and trying to cut in front of everyone else. It's rude! They need to wait like the rest of us.

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The only thing that is more annoying than that is when you pull up closer to the car in front of you so they can't get in, so they just pull up ahead some more and the car in front of you stops to let them in.

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"Spacers" wrote:

A huge blinking sign indicates that the left lane ahead is closed for road construction. The lane is closed more than a block ahead and everyone for most of that block is merging nicely, so the left lane is pretty much empty right up to the construction work. A car pulls out from behind you & drives up that lane, trying unsuccessfully to cut in. Is it unethical to keep as close as possible to the car in front of you, to keep that guy out?

Oooh, that makes me mad. I will be the first to allow merging traffic in front of me when we're talking about the normal flow of traffic. I don't care if someone ends up in front of me, but one thing that really chaps my a$$ is those morons who speed down the lane being closed off just to signal for 0.2 seconds and then cut in front of you like it's their God-given right to do so. If I see those guys coming in my mirrors I do my darnest to shut them down. I'm not about to cause a crash or anything, but if I'm crawling along and see that jacka$$ coming I'll get nice and close to the car in front.:D I don't see ethics as being involved really, but if they were, I'd say totally ethical!

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In that kind of situation where they are just trying to cut in front of others, I don't think it's unethical at all to drive close to the driver in front of you and not let them in. You wouldn't let someone steal your purse or wallet, even from someone else if you were able to do something about it, so why would you let someone "steal" a space in line? Now if they had their emergency flashers on as if trying to get to the hospital or something, then maybe...

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Wouldn't it be nice if everyone just stayed in two lanes and did an alternating merge? I wonder how much time and aggravation would be saved. I really am annoyed by people who cut out of the line to go around people and would never do it. I've even been known to center myself between the two lanes so the rude ones can't do that (vigilante driving - very bad, I know!). But, why does everyone need to leave that lane empty so far back? I've had it happen tons of times that I'm merrily driving along in my lane and didn't realize it was about to end. Usually, there isn't an opportunity to get into the other lane because everyone is determined to keep out the rude ones and won't let you in. It doesn't make sense to sit a mile back from the merge when there's so much open, available, legitimately drivable road in front. I always feel bad going up to the end, but it seems silly to stop a mile back and hope someone will eventually let me in, only to be passed by 40 other people who I will have to wait for, anyway, because they'll be merging where the road actually merges. KWIM?

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Becky, DH read a book (called Traffic, maybe?) that talks about how if everyone merges at different spots (some closer, some further) it is much more efficient and quicker for all involved than everyone trying to get over at once as soon as they see the signs to merge.

I get the concept. But it still makes me mad, like "Why do you feel so special that you can cut in line ahead of people?" Never mind that waiting in line slows everyone down. LOL

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Honestly I think that it would be dangerous and stupid to drive too closely behind another car for the sole purpose of spiting a stranger.

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Becky - I think the OP is only talking about those who are already in the merged lane, yet get out of line to speed up and cut in front of others further up so they don't have to wait as long. Know what I mean?

Aww c'mon, Melissa, live dangerously. You don't think it's fun to get right on someone's bumper going 70 miles an hour?

Lol

^I promise the above was all in good fun^

All kidding aside, I'm personally envisioning slower type stop-and-go traffic for this debate.

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No, I don't. I think that it is stupid. In slow traffic you can actually see one another. You would do a total dbag move to someone like 8 feet away from you who is looking at you and trying to merge in? Yeah, not me. I'm just not important enough to pretend that the .12 second difference in my arrival time at my destination is worth doing something rude, and I'm not a big believer in the schoolyard concept of "Hey, they did it first!" because the other driver chose to do the wrong thing by driving up a shoulder. If I'm going to choose to do something wrong, it isn't going to be something that endangers me to spite a stranger. I'll save it up to do something fun and wrong Wink

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Becky, DH read a book (called Traffic, maybe?) that talks about how if everyone merges at different spots (some closer, some further) it is much more efficient and quicker for all involved than everyone trying to get over at once as soon as they see the signs to merge.

That's kind of what was happening. Everyone ahead, all along that block, was merging along the way, but they were stopped by a red light. When they started up the entire left lane was pretty much empty as they began to move forward because everyone had already merged along the way. When our light turned green a bit later, the car behind me (some too-big SUV thing) cut off the guy in the left lane to go around me & zoom all the way past everyone, and then no one would let him in. As I got closer, I just couldn't resist the urge to stay right on top of the car in front of me. We were barely doing 10mph so it didn't seem dangerous or I wouldn't have done it. The guy in the SUV tried to pull in front of me anyway, I honked at him & kept going. I drive a 14-year-old car with a bashed-in front fender, I figured I have nothing to lose if he hits me. He actually popped his head out of his sunroof & yelled at me!

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"Spacers" wrote:

That's kind of what was happening. Everyone ahead, all along that block, was merging along the way, but they were stopped by a red light. When they started up the entire left lane was pretty much empty as they began to move forward because everyone had already merged along the way. When our light turned green a bit later, the car behind me (some too-big SUV thing) cut off the guy in the left lane to go around me & zoom all the way past everyone, and then no one would let him in. As I got closer, I just couldn't resist the urge to stay right on top of the car in front of me. We were barely doing 10mph so it didn't seem dangerous or I wouldn't have done it. The guy in the SUV tried to pull in front of me anyway, I honked at him & kept going. I drive a 14-year-old car with a bashed-in front fender, I figured I have nothing to lose if he hits me. He actually popped his head out of his sunroof & yelled at me!

What if instead of yelling at you he was some meth head on the run from the police, and he pulled out a gun and shot you? Of course road rage involving a gun is rare, but there is not one doubt that it happens.

I just don't get the idea of feeling good or deriving personal satisfaction by being intentionally rude to a stranger.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

I tend to always get closer to the person in front of me if I see an idiot getting out of line and trying to cut in front of everyone else. It's rude! They need to wait like the rest of us.

I do this too sometimes. If they're being nice and are just stuck and can't get over/I'm in no hurry... I'll usually be nice and let a car ahead of me. But if they're being idiots/I'm in a hurry... not so much. Terrible? Maybe. :shrug: What also irks me though is when you let ONE in and 2 or 3 others squeeze up right close to that one so they can squeeze in too and you have to let them in or get hit :rolleyes: Likely me just being petty and ornery but I feel like telling them "HEY! I didn't let you in!" LOL

"GloriaInTX" wrote:

The only thing that is more annoying than that is when you pull up closer to the car in front of you so they can't get in, so they just pull up ahead some more and the car in front of you stops to let them in.

Ditto Lol

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"Princess&ThePea" wrote:

I do this too sometimes. If they're being nice and are just stuck and can't get over/I'm in no hurry... I'll usually be nice and let a car ahead of me. But if they're being idiots/I'm in a hurry... not so much. Terrible? Maybe. :shrug: What also irks me though is when you let ONE in and 2 or 3 others squeeze up right close to that one so they can squeeze in too and you have to let them in or get hit :rolleyes: Likely me just being petty and ornery but I feel like telling them "HEY! I didn't let you in!" LOL

Ditto Lol

I totally agree!! I have no issues letting people merge if they NEED to, but just to cut in front of everyone else? No...they can sit there awhile longer. The thing that really chaps me in driving though, are the people that do not use their blinker...really, it's on your car for a reason.

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"Potter75" wrote:

What if instead of yelling at you he was some meth head on the run from the police, and he pulled out a gun and shot you? Of course road rage involving a gun is rare, but there is not one doubt that it happens.

I just don't get the idea of feeling good or deriving personal satisfaction by being intentionally rude to a stranger.

I don't know - it may not be right (two wrongs and all that) but I think it is pretty human to want to kind of "foil" someone who is behaving rudely themselves. In my opinion, it is rude to try to "cut in line" as though your time is more important than anyone else's. I think it's pretty human to try to stop someone from cutting in front of you - not because you feel that your own time is more important, but simply because "cutting" is rude.

Imagine the same thing in a standing line (like at a movie theater.) Someone gets out of line and walks to the front and then tries to get back in line at the front. Is it rude if the person that they are trying to cut in front of doesn't let them?

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"Potter75" wrote:

No, I don't. I think that it is stupid. In slow traffic you can actually see one another. You would do a total dbag move to someone like 8 feet away from you who is looking at you and trying to merge in? Yeah, not me. I'm just not important enough to pretend that the .12 second difference in my arrival time at my destination is worth doing something rude, and I'm not a big believer in the schoolyard concept of "Hey, they did it first!" because the other driver chose to do the wrong thing by driving up a shoulder. If I'm going to choose to do something wrong, it isn't going to be something that endangers me to spite a stranger. I'll save it up to do something fun and wrong Wink

I don't think people are referring to normal merging but rather the dummies that want to cut you off just for the sake of getting a couple cars ahead instead of merging correctly in the flow of traffic. There is a difference; if you're just being an ahole and not allowing polite people to (correctly) merge for the sheer fun of it, that's another thing.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

I don't think people are referring to normal merging but rather the dummies that want to cut you off just for the sake of getting a couple cars ahead instead of merging correctly in the flow of traffic. There is a difference; if you're just being an ahole and not allowing polite people to (correctly) merge for the sheer fun of it, that's another thing.

Yeah that. If someone is politely trying to merge and people aren't letting them, that's a big ahole move. But if someone gets out of line, zooms up an empty lane, and then tries to get back in line at the front just so they don't have to wait as long? IMO, they are the rude ones.

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It's an ahole move, but I just let them in because not only does it cut down on break lights and traffic, it cuts down on unnecessary accidents. This is coming from a semi road rage person, too. Now if they cut me off, I am someone that will honk my horn continuously for at least 10 seconds at them.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

I don't think people are referring to normal merging but rather the dummies that want to cut you off just for the sake of getting a couple cars ahead instead of merging correctly in the flow of traffic. There is a difference; if you're just being an ahole and not allowing polite people to (correctly) merge for the sheer fun of it, that's another thing.

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Yeah that. If someone is politely trying to merge and people aren't letting them, that's a big ahole move. But if someone gets out of line, zooms up an empty lane, and then tries to get back in line at the front just so they don't have to wait as long? IMO, they are the rude ones.

DITTO DITTO and DITTO to both Smile

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

I don't know - it may not be right (two wrongs and all that) but I think it is pretty human to want to kind of "foil" someone who is behaving rudely themselves. In my opinion, it is rude to try to "cut in line" as though your time is more important than anyone else's. I think it's pretty human to try to stop someone from cutting in front of you - not because you feel that your own time is more important, but simply because "cutting" is rude.

Imagine the same thing in a standing line (like at a movie theater.) Someone gets out of line and walks to the front and then tries to get back in line at the front. Is it rude if the person that they are trying to cut in front of doesn't let them?

I understand the urge, but I have lots of urges in life I don't give in to, especially those that could endanger me unnecessarily or without pleasure in it for me.

To the movie theater thing, I would probably say, "the back of the line is back there" in case they didn't understand the concept of a line. If they persisted in pushing in front of me? I mean, I'm not going to physically fight them, and I'm not going to go "tell" on them to management or anything, so I'd probably not really go any further than that. I'm risk averse over things that really don't matter much. The guy trying to save 4 minutes by cutting in in traffic? Not important to me to spite to teach him a lesson, especially since 98% of the time I'm driving my kids are in the car with me.

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Yeah that. If someone is politely trying to merge and people aren't letting them, that's a big ahole move. But if someone gets out of line, zooms up an empty lane, and then tries to get back in line at the front just so they don't have to wait as long? IMO, they are the rude ones.

Of course they are rude, I do completely agree with that. But I don't let other peoples rudeness determine my behavior, is all. I don't care that they did something rude "first", that does not justify (to me) riding someone's tail just to personally attempt spite that "rude" person. Life will teach them their lessons, I don't have to while manning a 2 ton truck carrying my three kids.

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"Potter75" wrote:

No, I don't. I think that it is stupid. In slow traffic you can actually see one another. You would do a total dbag move to someone like 8 feet away from you who is looking at you and trying to merge in? Yeah, not me. I'm just not important enough to pretend that the .12 second difference in my arrival time at my destination is worth doing something rude, and I'm not a big believer in the schoolyard concept of "Hey, they did it first!" because the other driver chose to do the wrong thing by driving up a shoulder. If I'm going to choose to do something wrong, it isn't going to be something that endangers me to spite a stranger. I'll save it up to do something fun and wrong Wink

Yeah, I would, because they're not looking at me for one, and two, they're not trying to merge. Merging to me implies some kind of consideration and heed to the traffic in the lane you're trying to get into. They're flying down a lane they know is going to be closed ahead so they can get ahead of every other car who's been patiently waiting and abiding by posted construction speed limits, flagmen, etc. Idiots like that can go pound salt, IMO, and wait their turn like the rest all have. I (and I doubt anyone else would either) don't pin it and get on someone a$$ doing 80 km/h just to prevent someone from cutting in. That's childish and dangerous.

I'll admit it, I get a smug sense of satisfaction in denying an idiot driver their 'right' to cut off whoever they want, do as they please on the roads and generally have no respect for anyone but themselves when me and the majority of other drivers are crawling along with places to go, kids to pick up and jobs to get to. I can't stand the 'my time and life are way more important that yours, so get the @#$% out of my way' mentality.

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How are they trying to get in front of you if they aren't looking at you? Do you mean that they are darting blindly into traffic?

Either way, to each their own. I will never agree with the whole "two wrongs make a right" thing and the smug self satisfaction that comes from intentionally denying someone what they need or want when it is literally NOTHING to me to just let them in.

I get personal satisfaction from very different things than you, clearly.

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"Potter75" wrote:

How are they trying to get in front of you if they aren't looking at you? Do you mean that they are darting blindly into traffic?

Either way, to each their own. I will never agree with the whole "two wrongs make a right" thing and the smug self satisfaction that comes from intentionally denying someone what they need or want when it is literally NOTHING to me to just let them in.

I get personal satisfaction from very different things than you, clearly.

Yes, cutting you off without so much as even glancing. Happens all the time in my city.

I will gladly throw myself under the bus on this one. I enjoy denying a$$holes from cutting me off.

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Yeah, that makes the idea of speeding up to get closer to the car in front of me totally insane, to me. Darting non looking drivers approaching me so I speed up? No.

I just can't imagine having to explain to my husband "I'm so sorry I wrecked the car and hurt our children. But, But this GUY was trying to get AHEAD of me so I sped up to screw him because he was so meeeeean". I would be so, I don't know, ashamed? It would just sound so totally lame to me when I tried to justify the ultimate cost of getting my power trip fix.

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I also try to inch my way close to the car in front of me to prevent the a-hole from "merging." I've been stuck on the freeway only to watch cars drive down the emergency lane to cut ahead of all of the cars in front of them. It's traffic; it's frustrating. However, if people followed etiquette, everyone would actually move faster.

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"Potter75" wrote:

I just can't imagine having to explain to my husband "I'm so sorry I wrecked the car and hurt our children."

Yeah, I have to admit that my 14-year-old car with an already bashed-in front fender (from a hit & run, not anything I did!) and no kids in the car with me makes the decision a lot easier! ROFL I'm still trying to figure out how he got his head & shoulders out the sunroof so fast. He had to have put it in park or it would have kept rolling, no?

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"Potter75" wrote:

Yeah, that makes the idea of speeding up to get closer to the car in front of me totally insane, to me. Darting non looking drivers approaching me so I speed up? No.

I just can't imagine having to explain to my husband "I'm so sorry I wrecked the car and hurt our children. But, But this GUY was trying to get AHEAD of me so I sped up to screw him because he was so meeeeean". I would be so, I don't know, ashamed? It would just sound so totally lame to me when I tried to justify the ultimate cost of getting my power trip fix.

So I guess it boils down to whether you would rather have the a-hole driver in front of you or behind you. Which is safer?

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"ethanwinfield" wrote:

So I guess it boils down to whether you would rather have the a-hole driver in front of you or behind you. Which is safer?

I'm confused, is the argument that you don't let them in and ride the car in front's *** for safety reasons?

I'm not worried about a rude person either in front of or behind me, statistically most of us spend much of our time in traffic surrounded by rude people of one ilk or another (just based on how many rude people there are in the world, in general), I don't really give it much thought. Whether in front or behind, I haven't resorted to being dangerous OR rude to "beat" this person or get personal satisfaction, so I continue on happy.

I will say that I would prefer to not have someone that I very intentionally pissed off or was rude to or beeped at behind me. That would make me nervous. So, in short, I try not to piss off other drivers, because I can't think of how anything positive will come out of it.

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"Claire'sMommy" wrote:

Yeah, I would, because they're not looking at me for one, and two, they're not trying to merge. Merging to me implies some kind of consideration and heed to the traffic in the lane you're trying to get into. They're flying down a lane they know is going to be closed ahead so they can get ahead of every other car who's been patiently waiting and abiding by posted construction speed limits, flagmen, etc. Idiots like that can go pound salt, IMO, and wait their turn like the rest all have. I (and I doubt anyone else would either) don't pin it and get on someone a$$ doing 80 km/h just to prevent someone from cutting in. That's childish and dangerous.

I'll admit it, I get a smug sense of satisfaction in denying an idiot driver their 'right' to cut off whoever they want, do as they please on the roads and generally have no respect for anyone but themselves when me and the majority of other drivers are crawling along with places to go, kids to pick up and jobs to get to. I can't stand the 'my time and life are way more important that yours, so get the @#$% out of my way' mentality.

Yep. The bridge to go into "town" across from the base is down to two lanes instead of it's usual four. I usually try not to use it but needed it for an errand on my lunch one day. I was in uniform so when a woman had her window down cussing at me when I wouldn't let them in (the mile was at least 3 miles long and I'd been waiting for half an hour and was also hungry and drive a standard) all I could do was shake my finger at them when I really wanted to pull over and let them have it about manners and waiting. I handle it a lot better when it's some teenage idiot in a beater who's too stupid to think ahead, but this was two obviously retired people in golf polos, the tacky hats, and the freaking sweaters tied around their shoulders who should have known better.

I have no problems letting people in when it's not extremely obvious they are just entitled assholes.

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I think it's rude to cut in when everybody is waiting, AND I think it's just as rude to close up on the car in front of you to prevent people from merging. It's all very petty and silly. Use all the lanes for as long as you can, then do an every other car merge. It's quicker and more efficient than the battle of the self-righteous twits that you see out on the road day after day.

Jeesh!

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"Strange_Cat" wrote:

I think it's rude to cut in when everybody is waiting, AND I think it's just as rude to close up on the car in front of you to prevent people from merging. It's all very petty and silly. Use all the lanes for as long as you can, then do an every other car merge. It's quicker and more efficient than the battle of the self-righteous twits that you see out on the road day after day.

Jeesh!

Yes, this is exactly what I was trying to say earlier. Thank you for being much more succinct! Smile

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"FLSunshineMom" wrote:

Becky - I think the OP is only talking about those who are already in the merged lane, yet get out of line to speed up and cut in front of others further up so they don't have to wait as long. Know what I mean?

Yes, I know. I'll have to look back, but I think I mentioned that in my post. The rest of it was more an aside.

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Becky, DH read a book (called Traffic, maybe?) that talks about how if everyone merges at different spots (some closer, some further) it is much more efficient and quicker for all involved than everyone trying to get over at once as soon as they see the signs to merge.

I believe it! We have a huge amount of construction on the major highways around here right now. It's been years and will be many years more, I'm sure, because they're completely redoing things. The highway people have built these enormous merge areas, as much as a mile long, and there will often be a sign that says something like "Lane ends 1/2 mile" or whatever. So many dummies are slamming on their brakes and cutting into traffic and bottling things up when they could just mosey in where there's an opening at any point over the next mile. It's so silly!

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I haven't had a chance to read all the replies just yet so maybe this has already been said, but I don't really know if it's unethical but I do think it's petty. Just because someone else is being an a$$ doesn't give me the right to be an a$$. I just assume they are in a bigger hurry than me or try to imagine what could be wrong that they feel the need to jump ahead and shave a few seconds off their trip. I always just try to imagine the times I've been running late. I know this sounds like extremes, but I just think well, maybe his wife is in the backseat about to deliver a baby or maybe their child is in the backseat having a seizure and they are trying to get to the hospital, stuff like that. And yes, I know, in that case they should have their flashers on, but I don't know if I'd remember to turn mine on if my child was bleeding in the backseat, you just never know what could be going on. Maybe they're just being an a$$, maybe not, karma will get em in the end if not, I suppose.

My kids are golden in the car so taking a little longer to get home is actually beneficial to me and there's not too many places I go that I am ever in that big of a hurry, I'm kind of a meanderer.

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"momW" wrote:

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies just yet so maybe this has already been said, but I don't really know if it's unethical but I do think it's petty. Just because someone else is being an a$$ doesn't give me the right to be an a$$. I just assume they are in a bigger hurry than me or try to imagine what could be wrong that they feel the need to jump ahead and shave a few seconds off their trip. I always just try to imagine the times I've been running late. I know this sounds like extremes, but I just think well, maybe his wife is in the backseat about to deliver a baby or maybe their child is in the backseat having a seizure and they are trying to get to the hospital, stuff like that. And yes, I know, in that case they should have their flashers on, but I don't know if I'd remember to turn mine on if my child was bleeding in the backseat, you just never know what could be going on. Maybe they're just being an a$$, maybe not, karma will get em in the end if not, I suppose.

My kids are golden in the car so taking a little longer to get home is actually beneficial to me and there's not too many places I go that I am ever in that big of a hurry, I'm kind of a meanderer.

Ahh. This must be the life, I tell ya!

It really depends on where I'm going and how long I've been sitting in traffic, and where my mood is because of it. I wouldn't speed up or risk hitting the car in front of me just to cut off a rude driver. But if I've been sitting in that line of traffic for 30 min. and Mr. Important comes flying up on my left, bypassing the same traffic we all just sat in, I'm not going to go out of my way to wave him in front of me. It's nothing to do with spite or satisfaction, it's about getting to where I need to be by the time I need to be there. I'm not going to let someone who doesn't follow the unsaid rules to waste me 5 more seconds.

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"daniellevmt" wrote:

Ahh. This must be the life, I tell ya!

It really depends on where I'm going and how long I've been sitting in traffic, and where my mood is because of it. I wouldn't speed up or risk hitting the car in front of me just to cut off a rude driver. But if I've been sitting in that line of traffic for 30 min. and Mr. Important comes flying up on my left, bypassing the same traffic we all just sat in, I'm not going to go out of my way to wave him in front of me. It's nothing to do with spite or satisfaction, it's about getting to where I need to be by the time I need to be there. I'm not going to let someone who doesn't follow the unsaid rules to waste me 5 more seconds.

It isn't a hard life for everyone to have, it just involves consistently leaving early. I loathe being late, I think that it is terribly rude, and I hate rushing or creating artificial stress, so I always leave early.

If there is some traffic incident that is unavoidable (a road closure due to a falling tree, a car accident, etc) and I have been already sitting in traffic for 30 minutes, I simply am going to be late, no matter what. I call, let them know, and relax as it is out of my hands. At that point 5 seconds really isn't anything to me, like I said, I don't have an overstated idea of my importance. Few events in my life are so time critical or rely on me so directly that 5 seconds will result in a death or maiming or something else worth being rude or risking injury. If my life is so precariously timed that a 5 second change of plans may make or break my mood, my day, my arrival etc....I'm doing something wrong. With three kids I have much longer diversions/distractions/annoyances all day long, maybe that helps keep 5 little seconds in perspective for me.

Interesting parallels in attitudes around merging, shopping carts, and movie theater food!

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"Potter75" wrote:

Yeah, that makes the idea of speeding up to get closer to the car in front of me totally insane, to me. Darting non looking drivers approaching me so I speed up? No.

I just can't imagine having to explain to my husband "I'm so sorry I wrecked the car and hurt our children. But, But this GUY was trying to get AHEAD of me so I sped up to screw him because he was so meeeeean". I would be so, I don't know, ashamed? It would just sound so totally lame to me when I tried to justify the ultimate cost of getting my power trip fix.

Uh, sorry, where did I say I was SPEEDING up to cut someone off? Just wondering, since I think I was pretty clear about being in traffic at a virtual standstill - crawling along with your foot on the brake, or close to it. Preventing someone from cutting you off in traffic like that doesn't require any increase in speed.

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I do it in scenarios where the traffic already merged is sitting and driving about 20 miles an hour or stop ad go and someone comes up the left side bypassing people who have been sitting there for a good 15 minutes waiting patiently.

Petty? Too bad.....i guess that doesn't bother me too much in this situation. And i don't worry about some angry driver coming out of their car and trying to physically start something with me or shoot me either....anymore so than i worry about other very unlikely scenarios that are not going to happen to most people.

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"Claire'sMommy" wrote:

Uh, sorry, where did I say I was SPEEDING up to cut someone off? Just wondering, since I think I was pretty clear about being in traffic at a virtual standstill - crawling along with your foot on the brake, or close to it. Preventing someone from cutting you off in traffic like that doesn't require any increase in speed.

If I see those guys coming in my mirrors I do my darnest to shut them down. I'm not about to cause a crash or anything, but if I'm crawling along and see that jacka$$ coming I'll get nice and close to the car in front. I don't see ethics as being involved really, but if they were, I'd say totally ethical!

Ah, you use jedi mind tricks to get the car in front of you to slow down in this situation so that you can get closer to them?

Either way, I really don't care. You get your personal victories where you can and I'll get mine. Win/win, since I don't drive up shoulders I won't encounter people like you anyhow.

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"Potter75" wrote:

Ah, you use jedi mind tricks to get the car in front of you to slow down in this situation so that you can get closer to them?

Either way, I really don't care. You get your personal victories where you can and I'll get mine. Win/win, since I don't drive up shoulders I won't encounter people like you anyhow.

There is a place by where i grew up where a scenario would happen like this everyday when it was during the afternoon rush hour. It was an interstate (one of the three digit numbered ones) that ended at a traffic light. It had three lanes, the two on the right merged together, the one on the left was left turn only.

People merged on the right would *inch* along....you were in hardly any danger of anything if you stayed close to the person in front of you...when the light turned green, you at some point got up to about 15 miles an hour tops. Worst thing that *could* happen was a very small fender bender, probably wouldn't even put a dent in your bumper in most cases.

People would do this all the time....not let in the idiot who flies up on the left hand side and then tries to sneak into the right hand traffic when the light turned green. I've never seen anyone get into an accident over it.

Honestly....when I got to this spot on the highway, i would purposely come to it with the mindset that i would stay as close to the car in front of me as I can, even with no jackass around. Because inevitably, at least one...if not several would while you were sitting there waiting your turn.

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Yeah, I just dont get why all of the acrimony ("petty"! "spite"! "overstated idea of (our) own importance"!) is pointed at someone who is trying to wait their turn in line, and not at the dude that is purposefully trying to cut in line. That dude could possibly have a bleeding child in his backseat, but we just need to plan our days better? Sure.

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Yeah, I just dont get why all of the acrimony ("petty"! "spite"! "overstated idea of (our) own importance"!) is pointed at someone who is trying to wait their turn in line, and not at the dude that is purposefully trying to cut in line. That dude could possibly have a bleeding child in his backseat, but we just need to plan our days better? Sure.

Yep.

Has nada to do with "planning your day better" or "being more important then the next guy"...more like, if I am sitting in traffic for 30 minutes and some dude/chick is being an idiot trying to purposely get in front of everyone else...I am not going to reverse it for them to get in front of me. They can wait, like everyone else.

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"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

Yep.

Has nada to do with "planning your day better" or "being more important then the next guy"...more like, if I am sitting in traffic for 30 minutes and some dude/chick is being an idiot trying to purposely get in front of everyone else...I am not going to reverse it for them to get in front of me. They can wait, like everyone else.

Who said anything about reversing it? That would be silly and dangerous too. You originally said you ride the car in front of you solely to ensure that they can't get in. That is a far cry from reversing it, isn't it?

I hate it when debates make me log in from my gym, but I had to explain more as I thought about it while dropping the kids off.

The debate was about one thing: intentionally not letting someone who did something that you perceive as wrong into traffic. NOT about cutting up the shoulder (I already said that that was TOTALLY wrong, how many times does it need to be stated in a debate about something different?). If 5 seconds of your life is literally going to change your day, I do think that you should plan better.

This debate is about one tiny action. One action that may occur......what, like 3 or 4 times a year? Where you have the choice to do the kind thing, or the "screw you" thing. All I am debating is that IMO, choosing the kind thing, even if it may go against your human "urges" is the safer, generally more prudent and "better" choice. That was what the debate asked.

Kim, I agree that accidents may rarely happen, but shopping carts left in lots may rarely scrape cars, and people who speed through residential neighborhoods may rarely hit children, but I still think that returning your cart and driving slowly through neighborhoods are the "better" idea. The fact that a negative result only occurs rarely is not enough to sway me on the idea that a wrong action then becomes right. Good people do wrong things all the time, I'm not judging anyones character by this one tiny action, simply stating that the thing that fuels the action of NOT letting someone in is simple spite. There are a lot worse things than spite, but I try not to let spite determine my own ideas of right and wrong. Thats all.

Now, to the treadmill. Nobody better try to edge in on me Wink

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"Potter75" wrote:

Who said anything about reversing it? That would be silly and dangerous too. You originally said you ride the car in front of you solely to ensure that they can't get in. That is a far cry from reversing it, isn't it?

I hate it when debates make me log in from my gym, but I had to explain more as I thought about it while dropping the kids off.

The debate was about one thing: intentionally not letting someone who did something that you perceive as wrong into traffic. NOT about cutting up the shoulder (I already said that that was TOTALLY wrong, how many times does it need to be stated in a debate about something different?). If 5 seconds of your life is literally going to change your day, I do think that you should plan better.

This debate is about one tiny action. One action that may occur......what, like 3 or 4 times a year? Where you have the choice to do the kind thing, or the "screw you" thing. All I am debating is that IMO, choosing the kind thing, even if it may go against your human "urges" is the safer, generally more prudent and "better" choice. That was what the debate asked.

Kim, I agree that accidents may rarely happen, but shopping carts left in lots may rarely scrape cars, and people who speed through residential neighborhoods may rarely hit children, but I still think that returning your cart and driving slowly through neighborhoods are the "better" idea. The fact that a negative result only occurs rarely is not enough to sway me on the idea that a wrong action then becomes right. Good people do wrong things all the time, I'm not judging anyones character by this one tiny action, simply stating that the thing that fuels the action of NOT letting someone in is simple spite. There are a lot worse things than spite, but I try not to let spite determine my own ideas of right and wrong. Thats all.

Now, to the treadmill. Nobody better try to edge in on me Wink

Interesting. The shopping cart thing to me....a negative *always* happens when you leave it out because someone has to go and round up all the stray carts, even if they don't ram into things. In the scenario i am talking about, an accident really is so unlikely to happen that i don't worry about it. But I'm also not suggesting doing this in 70 mph traffic. You really don't even have to ride *that* closely to someone to prevent someone from being let in. Sure its not the standard three car lengths they teach you in driving school, but that scenario doesn't really apply to stop and go traffic.

There are times I let spite get the best of me. This would be one of those times. If someone is going to be so obnoxious to think that they don't have to wait in line like everyone else does....i'll be damned if I'm going to be the one to let them in, at least not on purpose. I want to send a clear message to them that what they are doing is NOT cool.

There is very little that i find more obnoxious than someone who thinks that they don't need to wait like everyone else and on top of that thinks that people will just kindly let them in when they don't wait. Talk about reinforcing bad behavior.

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"Potter75" wrote:

Who said anything about reversing it? That would be silly and dangerous too. You originally said you ride the car in front of you solely to ensure that they can't get in. That is a far cry from reversing it, isn't it?

I hate it when debates make me log in from my gym, but I had to explain more as I thought about it while dropping the kids off.

The debate was about one thing: intentionally not letting someone who did something that you perceive as wrong into traffic. NOT about cutting up the shoulder (I already said that that was TOTALLY wrong, how many times does it need to be stated in a debate about something different?). If 5 seconds of your life is literally going to change your day, I do think that you should plan better.

This debate is about one tiny action. One action that may occur......what, like 3 or 4 times a year? Where you have the choice to do the kind thing, or the "screw you" thing. All I am debating is that IMO, choosing the kind thing, even if it may go against your human "urges" is the safer, generally more prudent and "better" choice. That was what the debate asked.

Kim, I agree that accidents may rarely happen, but shopping carts left in lots may rarely scrape cars, and people who speed through residential neighborhoods may rarely hit children, but I still think that returning your cart and driving slowly through neighborhoods are the "better" idea. The fact that a negative result only occurs rarely is not enough to sway me on the idea that a wrong action then becomes right. Good people do wrong things all the time, I'm not judging anyones character by this one tiny action, simply stating that the thing that fuels the action of NOT letting someone in is simple spite. There are a lot worse things than spite, but I try not to let spite determine my own ideas of right and wrong. Thats all.

Now, to the treadmill. Nobody better try to edge in on me Wink

I don't get the 'safer' part - I am already stopped in line. The person in front of me is stopped in line. I am not going to hit the person in front of me. And frankly, I could still be several feet away but still close enough as to where that rude cutter isn't going to get in front of me. It may be 5 seconds but it's the principle of the ordeal; don't be rude...wait your turn like everyone else. I don't really see this as being 'wrong'...it would be 'wrong' to not let someone merge who was doing so correctly in a normal flow of traffic. It would be 'wrong' to cut someone off just because you are impatient enough to wait your turn. There are several 'wrong' things to do in life, but this one doesn't even rate of that scale.

I don't really see anyone arguing that the issue is 5 seconds of their life 'wasted' like you continue to say. Moreso, the action of someone being a jackhole and trying to find a little hole in traffic to cut into so they are ahead of the other 20 cars that have been waiting for traffic to move. I have a million 5 seconds in my day, if someone politely tries to merge I have no issues in letting them.

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"Potter75" wrote:

This debate is about one tiny action. One action that may occur......what, like 3 or 4 times a year?

Ha! I can tell you don't drive in Dallas traffic! Smile I have to make that decision at least 3 or 4 times a day.

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"Potter75" wrote:

Ah, you use jedi mind tricks to get the car in front of you to slow down in this situation so that you can get closer to them?

Either way, I really don't care. You get your personal victories where you can and I'll get mine. Win/win, since I don't drive up shoulders I won't encounter people like you anyhow.

K, I still don't know what you're quoting that says I intentionally speed up to prevent cars from cutting in on me. You bolded me saying I move up behind the car in front? That's a stretch if you interpret that as "I speed up".

I guess I must be the only driver in the world who doesn't need to put their foot on the gas or even take it OFF the brake to move up behind someone when you're slowly inching forward in traffic and there's a line of cars a mile long patiently waiting. :shrug:

In any event, "people like me" are too self-absorbed to care what others think.

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Well, I could explain a daily situation of mine during very bad traffic where time is absolutely crucial, and "leaving early" is not an option. However, I wouldn't want to subject myself to adults attempting to bully me if I mention my job.

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