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  1. #41
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    I am not saying it wouldn't be difficult, I am sure it is, but there are single mothers all over the US in every profession that are single income that survive on one income. While I appreciate my husband and love him dearly, I do not believe I would shrivel up and die if I was alone regardless of where I lived. It might mean living in a smaller place and taking help when it was offered, but I do not believe it is correct to say that you can not survive on one income.

    ~Bonita~

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    In my experience, States that have a higher cost of living also have a higher pay rate. For example, DH is an interpreter in GA. We have family in Washington, DC and have looked into moving there (decided against it). Yes, it costs more for a house and living there, but the going pay rate is 3x what DH makes now. If we were to move there, we would still be a single income family for the same profession.

    Here is an interesting calculator to help you see if you are right.
    Cost of Living comparison calculator

    Seeing as how the average price in a home in much of TN Is 200K and the average in DC is 550K, its a good thing that his salary would raise 3 times (I admit that I find that hard to believe) but okay.

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    I am not saying it wouldn't be difficult, I am sure it is, but there are single mothers all over the US in every profession that are single income that survive on one income. While I appreciate my husband and love him dearly, I do not believe I would shrivel up and die if I was alone regardless of where I lived. It might mean living in a smaller place and taking help when it was offered, but I do not believe it is correct to say that you can not survive on one income.

    You have a lot more confidence in yourself than I do in me, and I have a background and contacts which would enable me to reenter tha workplace earning more than most! The reason I would feel confident if my DH died would be because we have an life insurance policy which would pay off the remainder of our mortgage, pay for each of the three childrens college educations, and allow me as much time as I wanted time to get things together ~ the last thing I would want to have to do in the event of a huge tragedy like that is scramble or further turn the kids lives upside down by heading straight into work/sending them to daycare.

    While I could go back into the workforce and make a salary that could support us comfortably (once the mortgage and their college had been paid), it would take time to find a job, find childcare for my three children and in the interim pay off his funeral and continue paying our mortgage. Oh, and time to grieve, too.

    I think that your statement sounds a little arrogant, unless you have excellent estate planning or have a career that is ready to pick up instantly anywhere (perhaps you are a nurse?), local help for childcare or a HUGE amount of banked savings to carry you through that time where you are likely grieving and taking care of your grieving children, not strapping on your big girl boots and running off to a great paying job. You may be better than all the single mothers out there who are struggling and/or relying heavily on their child support/alimony/other assistance, but without you having done it I find this whole bit pretty arrogant.

    From your posts it sounds as though you live on a very tight budget. Some families don't WANT to live hand to mouth, and some mothers WANT to work and do very important work, so who cares if you think that everyone could live on a one family income, many people don't WANT to live the way that you do. Who are you to judge them or tell them how they can live?
    Last edited by Potter75; 02-21-2013 at 07:20 AM.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    Here is an interesting calculator to help you see if you are right.
    Cost of Living comparison calculator

    Seeing as how the average price in a home in much of TN Is 200K and the average in DC is 550K, its a good thing that his salary would raise 3 times (I admit that I find that hard to believe) but okay.
    DH has had job offers in GA, and job offers in Washington DC and yes, they pay about 3x more.
    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    You have a lot more confidence in yourself than I do in me, and I have a background and contacts which would enable me to reenter tha workplace earning more than most! The only way I would feel confident if my DH died would be because we have an extensive life insurance policy which would pay off the remainder of our mortgage, pay for each of the three childrens college educations, and allow me an annual income that would be solely interest based at a higher number than my current monthly discretionary income.

    While I could go back into the workforce and make a great salary, it would take time to find a job, find childcare for my three children and in the interim pay off his funeral and continue paying our mortgage. Oh, and time to grieve, too.

    I think that your statement sounds a little arrogant, unless you have excellent estate planning or have a career that is ready to pick up instantly anywhere (perhaps you are a nurse?), local help for childcare or a HUGE amount of banked savings to carry you through that time where you are likely grieving and taking care of your grieving children, not strapping on your big girl boots and running off to a great paying job. You may be better than all the single mothers out there who are struggling and/or relying heavily on their child support/alimony/other assistance, but without you having done it I find this whole bit pretty arrogant.

    From your posts it sounds as though you live on a very tight budget. Some families don't WANT to live hand to mouth, and some mothers WANT to work and do very important work, so who cares if you think that everyone could live on a one family income, many people don't WANT to live the way that you do. Who are you to judge them or tell them how they can live?
    I do believe that all families can work toward being a single income family if that is important to them. As I said, not judging one way or the other, but that I do not believe it is correct that you can not. The issue is not if you would be rich or comfortable, but the statement that you can not survive is not correct. I am actually very surprised at the idea that you need a man to survive. I did not expect that on this board. If someone wants to have a double income family, that is great for them. I am sure there will come a time in the near future that we will be as well. That said, it is also fine if you are a single income family. Either as a SAHM or as a single mother.

    I belong to several active homeschooling boards and this is a question that comes up often. Can we afford just one income? There are people from all over the world just like on pg.org, and there are salaries varying from factory work to corporate. They all find a way to do it. I am not saying that this is what everyone should do, or would want to do. Only that it is possible.

    ~Bonita~

  5. #45
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    I didn't say I needed a man to survive but we do need a double income in order to afford our house (which is tiny!) and all the other things we need to pay for.

    I know many single moms and most of them receive some type of assistance including reduced cost housing.

  6. #46
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    Lol -I'm certainly not saying "you need a man to survive." Lol Goodness! If we were going to become a one income family, it would make a lot more sense for that one income to be mine.

    You were arguing that its not possible for some companies to pay their employees a living wage. Apparently, your DH makes a living wage. I'm guessing he doesn't make minimum wage then. If he does make min wage and you are still able to successfully survive on just that (and no other assistance) then my hat is off to you guys! We couldn't do it, but maybe I'm just a terrible Spendthrift.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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    Alissa - Yes, DH makes a living wage. I was just thrown by the idea that you can not survive on one income in today's day and age. I do not believe that to be true. If being a SAHM is important to you, then it is possible. Is everyone going to want that choice? No, of course not. I do think it is very hindering though to tell people who either have to be a single income family, or want to be a single income family that it is not possible to accomplish this. I think it is a huge insult to single income families to say that you can not survive on one income. To me, survival is primitive. Food, water, and shelter. You can survive.

    ~Bonita~

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    But shelter can be expensive...my mortgage is just slightly higher than an apartment would be that could fit us and the children. DH makes a decent wage but it is not feasible for us, around here, to have me be a SAHM. Trust me, I would love to be and we've tried all different ideas to make that a possibility and it wouldn't work. We wouldn't even qualify for assistance due to dh's wages. It's insulting to those living in areas you don't know anything about, deciding that if we wanted to make it work we could when in fact we can't.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    I am actually very surprised at the idea that you need a man to survive. I did not expect that on this board.

    Who on EARTH said that? I supported myself quite nicely from 18 until I married and my husband moved into MY home at 30. That said, no, I could not support our lifestyle at this moment with three young children and a big mortgage and whatnot immediately if my husband died. Thats why we protect ourselves. Do you?

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Alissa - Yes, DH makes a living wage. I was just thrown by the idea that you can not survive on one income in today's day and age. I do not believe that to be true. If being a SAHM is important to you, then it is possible. Is everyone going to want that choice? No, of course not. I do think it is very hindering though to tell people who either have to be a single income family, or want to be a single income family that it is not possible to accomplish this. I think it is a huge insult to single income families to say that you can not survive on one income. To me, survival is primitive. Food, water, and shelter. You can survive.
    I don't WANT to survive on food and water and basic shelter. I want to provide my children with lots of experiences, travel, camps, college paid for etc. I want a comfortable home. I want to eat out when I feel like it. Many people want more for their children than just living at home every day with few opportunities. I don't blame them. If my husbands income could not provide us with the lifestyle we want I would work. I'm lucky that his does. To say that it is insulting to single family income homes when you live in a very cheap area of the country and may have very different lifestyle goals than others is really ridiculous. I would never feel insulted by someone elses family/income choices. Obviously what we are doing is working for us, but who on earth am I to call another woman either a liar or too stupid to know how to live on one income. Maybe they just have no interest in living like you do.
    mommytoMR.FACE likes this.

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