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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    Thats why we protect ourselves. Do you?
    Do we have life insurance? Yes, we do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    I don't WANT to survive on food and water and basic shelter. I want to provide my children with lots of experiences, travel, camps, college paid for etc. I want a comfortable home. I want to eat out when I feel like it. Many people want more for their children than just living at home every day with few opportunities. I don't blame them. If my husbands income could not provide us with the lifestyle we want I would work. I'm lucky that his does. To say that it is insulting to single family income homes when you live in a very cheap area of the country and may have very different lifestyle goals than others is really ridiculous. I would never feel insulted by someone elses family/income choices. Obviously what we are doing is working for us, but who on earth am I to call another woman either a liar or too stupid to know how to live on one income. Maybe they just have no interest in living like you do.
    If you don't want to, that is fine. You could SURVIVE if you had to though. You would not starve or freeze to death if your DH was incapacitated and could not work for some reason. You would figure something out. I am not judging anyone's choices. If you want to be in a double income family that is fine. That said, if you want to or have to live in a single income family, that is also fine.

    ~Bonita~

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    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Alissa - Yes, DH makes a living wage. I was just thrown by the idea that you can not survive on one income in today's day and age. I do not believe that to be true. If being a SAHM is important to you, then it is possible. Is everyone going to want that choice? No, of course not. I do think it is very hindering though to tell people who either have to be a single income family, or want to be a single income family that it is not possible to accomplish this. I think it is a huge insult to single income families to say that you can not survive on one income. To me, survival is primitive. Food, water, and shelter. You can survive.
    But this is not what I was saying. This is a debate about the minimum wage. My stance is that the minimum wage needs to be a living wage. Obviously, if you are already making a living wage, you will be able to live on it. That's what "living wage" means. If you are not making a living wage, you will not be able to live on it (without assistance.) I don't see how it's insulting to single income families to acknowlege that in order for them to be able to exist and survive without government assistance, their single income needs to be a living wage. I'm not anti-single income families, I'm anti-companies paying their employees half a living wage.

    Personally, I don't think I would stay at home even if I could afford it. A big part of my identity and self confidence is tied up in my career success - it makes me feel good about myself to know that I am good at my job and that I am a good provider for my family. But I certainly don't begrudge other moms their choices. I wish that every family that wants a stay at home parent could afford it. I'm pro-stay-at-home-parent choice.
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  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    But this is not what I was saying. This is a debate about the minimum wage. My stance is that the minimum wage needs to be a living wage. Obviously, if you are already making a living wage, you will be able to live on it. That's what "living wage" means. If you are not making a living wage, you will not be able to live on it (without assistance.) I don't see how it's insulting to single income families to acknowlege that in order for them to be able to exist and survive without government assistance, their single income needs to be a living wage. I'm not anti-single income families, I'm anti-companies paying their employees half a living wage.

    Personally, I don't think I would stay at home even if I could afford it. A big part of my identity and self confidence is tied up in my career success - it makes me feel good about myself to know that I am good at my job and that I am a good provider for my family. But I certainly don't begrudge other moms their choices. I wish that every family that wants a stay at home parent could afford it. I'm pro-stay-at-home-parent choice.
    My understanding is that you and others were saying that in some parts of the country that it is not possible to survive on a single income. In my opinion that is a separate issue than minimum wage. When I first read your post, I was not thinking you were still talking about minimum wage.

    ~Bonita~

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Do we have life insurance? Yes, we do.


    If you don't want to, that is fine. You could SURVIVE if you had to though. You would not starve or freeze to death if your DH was incapacitated and could not work for some reason. You would figure something out. I am not judging anyone's choices. If you want to be in a double income family that is fine. That said, if you want to or have to live in a single income family, that is also fine.
    Yes, what we have figures out is extensive short and long term disability, and life insurance which would ensure that I would not have to work for the rest of my life unless I chose to. Lots of people ( statistically the vast majority) think that having life insurance through their spouses job is some guarantee- when in face its usually a paltry sum and of course doesn't take Ito account illness preceding death which could be prolonged, resulting in job loss, resulting I no life insurance. Frankly the last thing I want to do if my DH became seriously ill for a long period or died suddenly is shove my kids in daycare and head back to work.

    Ive been out of the work force for 6 years. Our cost of living is very expensive ( mortgage/college savings/ food etc) - I'd be crazy to say that my baseline for "good providing" means not STARVING.

    It sounds like you and your DH also have extensive estate planning in place ( though you said no will, which is interesting for a family so well covered financially). Otherwise I would have NO IDEA how you could have such confidence in your ability to care for your children and work full time so well and thoroughly as to be financially independent. You must have a great career you can fall back into or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    It sounds like you and your DH also have extensive estate planning in place ( though you said no will, which is interesting for a family so well covered financially). Otherwise I would have NO IDEA how you could have such confidence in your ability to care for your children and work full time so well and thoroughly as to be financially independent. You must have a great career you can fall back into or something.
    If something happened to DH I would be devastated, but I do not think we would starve to death. We owe about $55,000 left on our house and about $10,000 in other debts. If DH died I would have more than enough life insurance to pay off both of those debts. I also went to college to be an interpreter and am confident that I could get a job as an interpreter in my area. If I put my girls in school, the only bills that we would have would is food, clothing, and utilities. Even if DH did not die and there was no life insurance, I still feel that I would be ok. I pray that I never have to find out.

    ~Bonita~

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    My understanding is that you and others were saying that in some parts of the country that it is not possible to survive on a single income. In my opinion that is a separate issue than minimum wage. When I first read your post, I was not thinking you were still talking about minimum wage.
    I didn't say it was not possible but in many places it is almost impossible. I live in an area where there are SAHM but most 2 parent families have 2 parents working. My cousin and her husband are pharmacists and they both HAVE to work and pharmacists are not paid minimum wage. If they both have to work what does that say for those making under 9.00/hr?

    I could not afford an apartment, basic food and clothing if dh and I were making minimum wage here . We would be on government assistance.

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    eta/ forgive my typos I'm getting a pedicure and on my phone. Pedicures are part of my ongoing quality of life should my spouse die, not just food and water
    Last edited by Potter75; 02-20-2013 at 03:37 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    I didn't say it was not possible but in many places it is almost impossible. I live in an area where there are SAHM but most 2 parent families have 2 parents working. My cousin and her husband are pharmacists and they both HAVE to work and pharmacists are not paid minimum wage. If they both have to work what does that say for those making under 9.00/hr?

    I could not afford an apartment, basic food and clothing if dh and I were making minimum wage here . We would be on government assistance.
    But you would not starve to death. You would still survive, even if you had to sell your house or go bankrupt and move to a cheaper part of the country. Is that desirable? No, of course not, but you would survive. Thrive, maybe not, but you would survive.

    ~Bonita~

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    Again, depends on the profession. DH's company makes the same for here as it does elsewhere. I do get a slightly higher rate of pay than someone in a similar field elsewhere but it is no where near the difference in costs to live here.

    An example, years ago a cousin of mine worked for a grocery store chain. She was making 20.00/hr. They were bought out and the new parent company was not New England based. They wanted to drop their pay to 10.00/hr because where their headquarters were that was a decent rate of pay. That means nothing here.
    That is an example of a ridiculously clueless company. Any corporation with half a brain in their HR department knows that compensation structures are regional and vary based on cost of living.

    That doesn't, however, mean, that it always keeps up, dollar for dollar, with the increased cost of living. But any company that pays the same across the U.S. is stupid (beyond entry level jobs which will, of course be at or near minimum wage).
    CARRIE and DH 7/14/07
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    LAYLA 3/24/11


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    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    Cost of living differences are another reason raising the minimum wage will not work. There are many places like here in Texas that minimum wage is already enough to live on. Why should employers in Texas be forced to pay their workers more because the cost of living is higher in other places?
    Mom to Lee, Jake, Brandon, Rocco
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    I never consider a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosopy, as a cause for withdrawing from a friend. --Thomas Jefferson

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