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  1. #61
    Posting Addict SID081108's Avatar
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    Wow this thread got way off course. ha ha It seems to me like Bonita was just reacting to a statement that seemed like someone was saying that it was not possible ANYWHERE to live on a single income anymore (which I kind of understand that reaction because my husband says that same thing to me "single income living was your parents era...that's not possible anymore" and I tell him, in return, that I know many people that live comfortably on one income.) Of course it depends on the cost of living where you are, and on how much the working spouse makes. We could live on my income but not on my husbands, and he has no interest in being a SAHD (that would drive him to insanity, in fact). Plus it is more important to him to be able to pay for our children's education, stash away a lot for retirement, etc...so we both work. But yes I agree, it is possible for some to live on one income...there are sacrifices to be made to do that and there are many factors involved.

    I don't think anyone here was really bashing the other for their choices...from someone who just popped in to catch up on reading for a break from work...it just seemed like people getting defensive because no one likes to have their lifestyle choices questioned, and maybe that's how it came across to both sides?
    CARRIE and DH 7/14/07
    SOPHIA 8/11/08
    LAYLA 3/24/11


  2. #62
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    No one said that though. Probably 40% of the women who post here are SAHM so obviously no one was arguing its impossible.

    I also think your generalization that people who stay home all make huge sacrifices is incorrec. We too enjoy stashing for retirement traveling and saving for our kids college education while having a parent at home full time. For my family it would be much MORE of a sacrifice to be raising kids who we rarely see because we both had demanding careers which involved travel.
    Last edited by Potter75; 02-20-2013 at 04:03 PM.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    But you would not starve to death. You would still survive, even if you had to sell your house or go bankrupt and move to a cheaper part of the country. Is that desirable? No, of course not, but you would survive. Thrive, maybe not, but you would survive.
    Actually no it wouldn't mean that for me. I owe more on my house than what it is worth due to the tanked real estate market and the fact that I've only owned for 7 years. So my short sale or foreclosure or taking on the additional remaining debt of my loan will follow me and be an additional bill we have to pay no matter where we go. So I will still probably have to work and not have free day care like I do now.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    But that's part of why people "back in the good old days" were able to live on a one person income. I know you'll all be screaming "People only had 1 car and no iPhones back then!" and that's true, but it's certainly not the whole story. You could live and support your family working at the locally owned grocery store back then. You might not have been rich, but you could survive. Think about what has changed from then to now. It can't ALL be blamed on iPhones, can it? I pay about $120 a month for my husband and I to have iPhones. We're not within $120 a month of living on his teacher's salary.
    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    No one said that though. Probably 40% of the women who post here are SAHM so obviously no one was arguing its impossible.
    I am sure you can see how it came across as Alissa saying it was not possible in this day and age to live on one income. She did say that was not what she meant, but that is how it came across and I do know that there are people out there that do believe that way.

    ~Bonita~

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    I am sure you can see how it came across as Alissa saying it was not possible in this day and age to live on one income. She did say that was not what she meant, but that is how it came across and I do know that there are people out there that do believe that way.
    It's not common for me to see that's for sure. Back when my parents were young most moms stayed home and father scould afford to pay for it all....food, vacations, a house (not an apartment even) and still have things like insurance and dinners out. It's becoming less and less a norm as people are paid much differently than they were 40-60 years ago.

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    No one said that though. Probably 40% of the women who post here are SAHM so obviously no one was arguing its impossible.

    I also think your generalization that people who stay home all make huge sacrifices is incorrec. We too enjoy stashing for retirement traveling and saving for our kids college education while having a parent at home full time. For my family it would be much MORE of a sacrifice to be raising kids who we rarely see because we both had demanding careers which involved travel.
    Me?? Wow, you are seriously defensive today if you are talking to me. I never said HUGE sacrifices. I said sacrifices. There are always sacrifices to be made when one person chooses to stay home (especially if previously living on two incomes). The sacrifices are different for each family. Are those sacrifices worth it? Of course they are!! I would LOVE to be able to stay home, trust me! For me, it is not an option for a variety of reasons. My best friend stayed home with her kids for years (just went back part time because her youngest is in middle school) and they still saved for retirement, travelled plenty, and have college funds for their kids. I never said that was not possible for a one-income family. For US, most of that would be sacrificed if we did not have two incomes, which is one reason why we are a two income family. And THAT is what I said.
    Last edited by SID081108; 02-20-2013 at 04:23 PM.
    CARRIE and DH 7/14/07
    SOPHIA 8/11/08
    LAYLA 3/24/11


  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    It's not common for me to see that's for sure. Back when my parents were young most moms stayed home and father scould afford to pay for it all....food, vacations, a house (not an apartment even) and still have things like insurance and dinners out. It's becoming less and less a norm as people are paid much differently than they were 40-60 years ago.
    Yes, that part of things will depend on profession and the area that you live. Profession and the area that you live are things that can be changed however. We are for sure not rich, but one DH's income of lower middle wage, we have a 4 bedroom house, take vacations, and go out to eat. I am not saying one way of life is better than the other. Everyone needs to do what is best for themselves and their family. If it is your heart's desire to be a SAHM, I pray that someday it will come true.

    ~Bonita~

  8. #68
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    If I look at my FB friends, I easily have more that are SAHM than are working moms. Yes, it is less common than it was back when very few women worked (obviously), but it is still very common. Cost of living is quite low where I live so I sometimes feel in the minority as a working mom.
    CARRIE and DH 7/14/07
    SOPHIA 8/11/08
    LAYLA 3/24/11


  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by SID081108 View Post
    Me?? Wow, you are seriously defensive today if you are talking to me. I never said HUGE sacrifices. I said sacrifices. There are always sacrifices to be made when one person chooses to stay home (especially if previously living on two incomes). The sacrifices are different for each family. Are those sacrifices worth it? Of course they are!! I would LOVE to be able to stay home, trust me! For me, it is not an option for a variety of reasons. My best friend stayed home with her kids for years (just went back part time because her youngest is in middle school) and they still saved for retirement, travelled plenty, and have college funds for their kids. I never said that was not possible for a one-income family. For US, most of that would be sacrificed if we did not have two incomes, which is one reason why we are a two income family. And THAT is what I said.

    I'm not defensive. And I'm pointing out that your generalizations are not 100% correct. My husband was able to make a lot more due to me being home with our kids and also not having to pay for childcare....., thus making up for the loss of my income when I chose to stay home. So, no sacrifice. You can call me names all you like and I will simply continue to correct your incorrect generalizations

    I find it as off putting when you as a working parent generalize about SAHP's as I do when Bonita as a SAHP generalizes about ALL working parents and how she is more intune with their financial needs/wants than they are. It just sounds stupid all around, which is why I corrected Bonita and you. If you call that sort of equal correction defensive, we must have different definitions of the word.
    Last edited by Potter75; 02-20-2013 at 05:02 PM.

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Yes, that part of things will depend on profession and the area that you live. Profession and the area that you live are things that can be changed however. We are for sure not rich, but one DH's income of lower middle wage, we have a 4 bedroom house, take vacations, and go out to eat. I am not saying one way of life is better than the other. Everyone needs to do what is best for themselves and their family. If it is your heart's desire to be a SAHM, I pray that someday it will come true.
    this is what we're trying to say. It does depend on profession but professions should be paying a living wage for the area that you live in. Minimum wage is not even CLOSE to being able to make it hear so what happens? All unskilled workers leave or do we try to pay them appropriately for where they live and work?

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