Mom pleads guilty to misdemeanor over punishment
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Thread: Mom pleads guilty to misdemeanor over punishment

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    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Default Mom pleads guilty to misdemeanor over punishment

    Fridley mom enters plea to humiliating daughter, 12, with 'diaper duty' | StarTribune.com

    Legal issue? Taking out the belt spankings, but leaving the rest.

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    Yes. This is abusive. Both physically with the belts and mentally with the shaving of the head and being outside in a diaper.

    They are disgusting excuses for parents. PB&J sandwiches only (so punishing with food..awesome move) and preventing good hygiene by lack of showers...ugh. I want to kick them in the neck.
    smsturner likes this.

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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Absolutely. "Discipline" should never involve humiliation. Nor should it involve beating with belts even though you said to disregard that part. I can't. That's abuse.

    And I'm shocked that the family's case file was closed a mere two months after the first round in October 2010. That's shameful. There should have been multiple followups months later.
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

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    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    I just can't get on board with it. Where do we draw the line for being able to parent our children? Seriously? I said disregard the belt part because I think most people consider that abusive, but the rest of it I think should be up to the parents and I know I'm not the only one. Humiliation (or shame as we call it in the South) is by far the worst punishment a teenager can go through. If my child consistently failed, you better believe I'd shame the crap out of him until he got his **** together and started doing his work. I also don't think peanut butter and jelly is really all that harsh of a punishment; we had to eat it and/or rice cereal just because we were poor and I can't imagine someone telling me it's abusive. The lack of showers? Some of the mom's on this very board admit they and their prodigy don't shower regularly so I can't see that as something legal worthy either.

    The *only* thing I can see as actually law-worthy would be the diaper/tank top combo. I can't imagine she was decently covered properly for running outside in that outfit. The rest of it doesn't fit the label of malicious punishment IMO.

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    Sorry I consider humiliation punishment is emotional abuse. I would definitely agree that they warrant investigation in the very least and I think they deserve punishment as well.

    I'm sorry I misunderstood the disregard belt part. I read it differently at first. My bad

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    I think there are varying degrees of embarrassment as punishment. For example if I had a young teenager that was holding hands with someone (Something that I am not in support of at that age) in church, I would not think it would be wrong to go up to her in front of her friends and ask her to stop even though I am sure that would be embarrassing. That said, I think there is a fine line and shaving a girls head and forcing her to wear a diaper crosses the line. I think it would be a situation where CPS would need to investigate and see what is actually happening.

    ~Bonita~

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    Quote Originally Posted by wlillie View Post
    I just can't get on board with it. Where do we draw the line for being able to parent our children? Seriously? I said disregard the belt part because I think most people consider that abusive, but the rest of it I think should be up to the parents and I know I'm not the only one. Humiliation (or shame as we call it in the South) is by far the worst punishment a teenager can go through. If my child consistently failed, you better believe I'd shame the crap out of him until he got his **** together and started doing his work. I also don't think peanut butter and jelly is really all that harsh of a punishment; we had to eat it and/or rice cereal just because we were poor and I can't imagine someone telling me it's abusive. The lack of showers? Some of the mom's on this very board admit they and their prodigy don't shower regularly so I can't see that as something legal worthy either.

    The *only* thing I can see as actually law-worthy would be the diaper/tank top combo. I can't imagine she was decently covered properly for running outside in that outfit. The rest of it doesn't fit the label of malicious punishment IMO.
    Well, we have to remember we are raising adults. I want my children to be emotional secure. The respect between parent and child should be mutual and as such, humiliation to this degree has no place as "discipline." It is solely a power play because Mom can't control her child. It hasn't worked before so why keep trying it?

    Consequences should be natural and logical. Consequence for bad grade = more study/tutoring time and removing distractions such as phone. It's not meant to be punitive; it's meant to change the behavior.

    I seriously wonder what the long-term results of this type of "punishment" will be for the girl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ethanwinfield View Post

    Consequences should be natural and logical. Consequence for bad grade = more study/tutoring time and removing distractions such as phone. It's not meant to be punitive; it's meant to change the behavior.
    It is not up to anyone else how to discipline someone else's child. The risk is though if you go too far CPS can and will take your child.

    ~Bonita~

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    We have an obligation as a society to protect minors. That includes extreme forms of punishment.

    Even with your example, I think I would call my daughter over and explain that I don't condone X behavior and not address it in front of her friends. If I screw up at work, my manager doesn't announce it in front of all. I'm pulled aside privately. I don't consider it the same as this offense though just that I still think it has the potential to be harmful.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    We have an obligation as a society to protect minors. That includes extreme forms of punishment.

    Even with your example, I think I would call my daughter over and explain that I don't condone X behavior and not address it in front of her friends. If I screw up at work, my manager doesn't announce it in front of all. I'm pulled aside privately. I don't consider it the same as this offense though just that I still think it has the potential to be harmful.
    That is how you would do it. (It really is probably how I would do it too, but for the sake of the debate) You can't tell someone else how to parent their child unless it crosses the clear line of abuse. I think shaving someone's head and making them wear a diaper does cross that line. Correcting your child in front of her friends does not.

    ~Bonita~

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