Mommy Confessionals ~ Helpful or hurtful? - Page 2
+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 36
Like Tree16Likes

Thread: Mommy Confessionals ~ Helpful or hurtful?

  1. #11
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    My avatar is the tai chi -- a symbol of the eternal cycle of life
    Posts
    16,540

    Default

    I've followed Lisa's blog for many years and I love what she writes, I love her voice, I love her advocacy for Down syndrome, I love how she doesn't give a flip about how other people see her, she seems very honest in what she's putting out there, it's not a show, it's not glossed-over, it's just her. She doesn't censor herself. She writes about the nonsense things -- her dog yapping too much and baby poop and the girl she met at Starbucks -- along with all the important stuff she writes about, like whether to buy condoms for a teenager and advocating for her son who is being denied his legal rights by their school district. And when she had a bad day, she wrote about it. There was no larger point to that post, no message to take away, I don't think it was even a plea for "back-patting," it was just venting.

    That said, she does seem to have a lot of bad days. She also doesn't seem very good at avoiding some of these things to begin with (why leave the remote where Annabelle can reach it, and why is there a lock on a child's door?) or in dealing with them after the fact (let her eat cafeteria food if she doesn't remember her lunch) which probably makes more bad days for her. She does seem to love her kids very much and she seems to take very good care of them most of the time, so I'll give her a pass on having a really bad day. I don't generally like people writing about their kids as a profession, but if anyone is going to do it, then at least give us the daily grind along with the roses & rainbows. That gets boring.
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

  2. #12
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    3,474

    Default

    I dont think what she was describing is what a normal person would consider "the daily grind" To me that is an extreme in parenting. I like Lisa too, have read her for years, since Finn was born. But when she writes like this I feel really bad for her kids.
    Lisa
    Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson

  3. #13
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    My avatar is the tai chi -- a symbol of the eternal cycle of life
    Posts
    16,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    It seems like to me she is asking for a pat on the back to say its ok because everybody does it. Ummm no, everybody doesn't do it, especially cussing out their kids.
    I guess I'm missing the part where she's cussing out her kids. She cusses at her husband, but not her kids. Except to say "goddamn" which many of don't consider to be "cussing" in the way that **** & **** & ***** are. It's not even censored by pg.org.
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

  4. #14
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    2,219

    Default

    She said that yelling ensued and swearing. First sentence of 2nd paragraph.

    Meh. I don't like articles like this that make parenting and being a mom or dad to be the worst thing in my life. Some days are crappy. Some days are the best. It averages out to be pretty good. I don't mind venting ones but to put out there a scenario like this are saying...hey kid(s) I think this/you/everything sucks is not good.

    But, man, I love "Go the F*ck to Sleep". I laughed so hard. When you have a child who has sleep issues, is just over 1 and is up from 6am and won't go to bed until 1 am while you are pregnant and working a full time job and this sleep issue goes on for a year and then morphs into going to bed at 9 and waking up from 3-5 daily for 6 months.....you would laugh too. I prayed and cried daily for sleep. I love that girl so much but I have to say....I didn't completely understand what having a child with autism was going to bring me.
    bunnyfufu likes this.
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

  5. #15
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Chicagoland
    Posts
    15,363

    Default

    Oh, now I know who wrote the blog! The name Finn was familiar, but I didn't place it at first.

    I think some mommy confessionals, like "rough day....letting the kids eat cereal for dinner" are one thing. But this one - I feel horrible for her kids. This isn't just yelling at them to "please, for the love of God, go clean up your room" for the eighteenth time.
    Carolyn - 37
    Wife to Chad - 39
    Mom to Tom - 15
    Matt -11
    Nathan - 10


  6. #16
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    2,219

    Default

    Carolyn...I agree...I guess I don't really discuss my kids and parenting to a lot of friends. I have 1 friend I basically discuss these things to and she gets it but it still feels crappy when you have a day when you give up and they are eating a little too much sugar or you are throwing a piece of cheese at them for dinner. Those kind of "confessionals" I can get on board with. We do sometimes need someone to say..it's cool that you didn't make dinner tonight...they won't die. You make dinner every other night. Whatever. Or that it's okay to not think that every action your kid does is a miracle (like when my 3 year old talks fresh).
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

  7. #17
    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    5,925

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    But, man, I love "Go the F*ck to Sleep". I laughed so hard. When you have a child who has sleep issues, is just over 1 and is up from 6am and won't go to bed until 1 am while you are pregnant and working a full time job and this sleep issue goes on for a year and then morphs into going to bed at 9 and waking up from 3-5 daily for 6 months.....you would laugh too. I prayed and cried daily for sleep. I love that girl so much but I have to say....I didn't completely understand what having a child with autism was going to bring me.
    Yes! I laughed so hard I almost cried. I listened to it on youtube a few times as therapy after a particularly bad bedtime. Kaiya was terrible at falling asleep and bedtime was the hardest part of our day.
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
    DSD 15
    DSS 18
    Feline Furbabies - Sophie and Indigo

    Little Babe 22/12/05


  8. #18
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    23,567

    Default

    I don't think it's horrible for her to think those things. And I don't think it's horrible to write them down and share them with like-minded friends. And I don't think it's that unusual for parents to occasionally lose it on that level....I don't get to those levels myself, but I figure that's just luck and circumstance. BUT...I don't think publishing it in a place with your real name, where your kids and their friends can see it, is particularly nice or wise.

    I think it's okay that people identify with it. It's very normal to feel unappreciated, exhausted, pushed to the limit, and alone in all of that. I just think that the internet in general has made too many people think it's okay to put their more private thoughts & moments out there for an audience of strangers and forget how it might affect the people closest to them. Vent all you want, express your darkest thoughts, but find the right place for it. Anonymously would have been fine.
    Danifo likes this.
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 10 ) and Juliet ( 7 )




    Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)

  9. #19
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    My avatar is the tai chi -- a symbol of the eternal cycle of life
    Posts
    16,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    She said that yelling ensued and swearing. First sentence of 2nd paragraph.
    You'd prefer her to say, to no one in general, "Man, I can't believe what a bunch of lazy self-absorbed slobs I'm raising. I should have been a farmer because that's what I'm doing here, raising pigs. A bunch of worthless pigs that are never going to amount to anything, probably living in my basement when they're 30. What a wonderful life we all have ahead of ourselves." That would involve no swearing, no cussing, nothing directed at her kids, but IMHO that's all way worse than saying, what Lisa says she said.

    And this isn't an "article" that she "published" intending to spread some kind of information or opinion to others. It's a vent posted on her personal blog. I don't think it was wise for her to allow it to be re-posted with her own name and her kids names, that's admittedly a bit too much for me. She should have had them change the names & post it anonymously. Of course some people might be able to figure it out and that takes away the authenticity which is what draws many of us to read her in the first place....
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

  10. #20
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    23,567

    Default

    I agree about the swearing. . .swearing doesn't bother me on its own. You can say things that are a lot worse without swearing. Those words don't have much power over me. We've covered this in other debates, the only reason I curb my swearing and discourage the kids from doing it is because of the effect it has on others, not because I think it has intense meaning or impact.
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 10 ) and Juliet ( 7 )




    Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)

+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions