Mrs Hall and Her Letter to Teenage Girls

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Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427
Mrs Hall and Her Letter to Teenage Girls

In case you've been living under a rock and haven't read her letter yet, here it is.

FYI (if you’re a teenage girl) | Given Breath

Dear girls,
I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through the summer?s social media photos.

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through.

Wow ? you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pj?s this summer! Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

I get it ? you?re in your room, so you?re heading to bed, right? But then I can?t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout. What?s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

So, here?s the bit that I think is important for you to realize. If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.

Please know that we genuinely like staying connected with you this way! We enjoy seeing things through your unique and colorful lens ? you are funny, insightful, and often very, wise. Which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.

That post doesn?t reflect who you are at all! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

And now ? big bummer ? we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can?t quickly un-see it? You don?t want our boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we. We?re all more than that.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances with pics like that, ladies. We have a zero tolerance policy. I know, so lame. But, if you want to stay friendly with our sons online, you?ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If any of you try to post a sexy selfie (we all know the kind), or an inappropriate YouTube video ? even once ? it?s curtains.

I know that sounds so old-school, but we are hoping to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don?t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

Every day I pray for the women my boys will love. I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient ? and act honorably ? while they wait for her.

Girls, it?s not too late! If you think you?ve made an on-line mistake (we all do ? don?t fret ? I?ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down the closed-door bedroom selfies that makes it too easy for friends to see you in only one dimension.

Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy ? just like you.

You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.

Act like her, speak like her, post like her.

Mrs. Hall

This has caused an internet tempest in a teapot, with some people loving what she said, and others basically saying that Mrs Hall should be teaching her boys to view women with respect regardless of whether or not they are wearing a bra, rather than just censoring the internet. Also, some found it ironic that in a post calling out girls for dressing too sexy or posing for the camera, she posted topless pictures of her boys popping muscles and whatnot.

I thought this blog had some good discussion questions:

The Questions We Should Be Asking After Reading What Mrs. Hall Had To Say

You may agree or disagree with Mrs. Hall?s sentiments, but what I?d like you to think about while reading and then discuss are:
1. Can ****-shaming be a two-way street? Can boys be on the receiving end?

2. Is nudity/partial nudity the same as sexualized self-objectification? Is that the point Mrs. Hall is trying to make with the shirtless photos of her sons in a post that ****-shames girls? Or is she being simultaneously obtuse and preachy? Would it bother you if the Hall boys were posting shirtless pics that your daughter was exposed to?

3. Does one (or 80) sexy selfies ruin a girl, so that no ?good man? will want her? Did you experiment with your sexuality in ways that you are grateful are not forever captured on social media?

4. Is Mrs. Hall doing the right thing by openly discussing sex with her children, and their use of social media?

5. How do you feel about the comment, ?If you are friends with a Hall boy, you are friends with the Hall family?? Should tweens/teens be allowed some privacy online, or is it all an open book?

6. If you were the parent of one of these girls Mrs. Hall is talking about, how would you feel after reading this? Is there more to your daughter than one sexy facebook towel pose?

7. How does the line about ?once a male sees you naked he can never unsee it? grab you? Are their bigger implications at play there on how we validate male sexuality/desire but invalidate female sexuality?

8. And finally, is Mrs. Hall onto something? Why are so many young girls and women posting sexy, duck lipped photos of themselves? Are boys doing the same thing and we aren?t paying attention because our culture loves to be hyper-vigilant over the sexuality of young girls?

Other thoughts? Love it? Hate it? Weirded out by the idea of a family sitting down together and combing through pictures on FB looking for things to object to?

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

Several people shared the blog post on my FB. I thought it was hypocritical to write the article about girls while at the same time posting topless pictures of her boys. I do agree that girls do not need to be posting pictures of themselves on FB not all the way dressed, however that is a two way street. Boys should be taught to be respectful of a girl no matter what and the pictures of her boys were not any better.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Where to begin.

Okay, so the one thing that I think the Halls would be doing right is this: if you don't like someone else's Facebook page, I think it's on you to stop looking instead of on them to change it. This is true whether you don't like their sexy pj pictures or their "NOBAMA!!!!" posts. So, I would agree with the fact that they go through and get rid of the people that they don't want to see, except that she ruined that by posting this letter. By posting the letter, she makes it clear that she wants the girls to change rather than them just not look, so it ruins that whole dynamic.

Beyond that, yeah, I am disturbed by this idea that young women need to be responsible for keeping young men's thoughts pure. First of all, I'm not overly concerned with the purity of teenaged boys thoughts as long as they can keep themselves respectful (i.e. it's okay to think about sex sometimes as long as you can still be a good guy) but even if I did have the goal of making teenaged boys keep their thoughts clean, I would still expect that to be their own job.

Also, I'm weirded out by the idea that all of the Halls routinely sit around and comb through young women's pages, deleting the ones that aren't up to snuff. I'm picturing this as a weekly occurance, like Wednesday is Jace's soccer night, and on Friday's they order pizza and play board games, and Monday is Thomas's youth group meetings, and Thursdays are "Judgey Facebook Night." It just strikes me as deeply odd and more than a bit controlling and a violation of those boy's privacy. I mean, if there is a serious reason to warrant violating a kid's privacy (like suspected drug use or something) then I get that sometimes you do what you have to do, but the idea that it's worth doing over a possible picture of a girl in her jammies strikes me as way beyond the pale.

Finally, I worry that the pictures she is describing (girl dressed in jammies in her bedroom with no bra, girl wrapped in towel) are specific pictures of specific girls that the Hall boys and their friends will recognize and who will recognize themselves. I mean, how humiliating to have your friend's mom blog to the whole world about how she doesn't like that picture of you in your towel, and have your other friends know that she probably meant you. Gross, Mrs Hall.

Oh yeah, and saying all of this next to pictures of your boys galavanting around topless is SUCH a crazy face double standard. It just speaks volumes about how different her expectations for boys and girls are.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

I read this yesterday and it has taken me a while to really process what I think about it. First and foremost, even if I agreed with everything she wrote, it was all diminished by the pictures of her boys in swim trunks (not that I thought the picture were in anyway bad, just hypocritical)

While I agree with what she is trying to say to teenage girls, I dont think she is in any place to say it. I am going to assume that those kids have parents. She could make her boys unfriend girls that she feels do not meet her standards, I get that. But I dont think she needs to post about how girls should change.

I do see a lot of girls post things that I am not sure they realize could be definitely seen as sexy. My niece posted a picture on instagram of her in the bathtub. All you saw was her knees and feet sticking out of the bubbles, but it still bothered me. I called her and asked what the motivation was behind the image, she said she was trying to show her bubble bath. I told her how some people might think she was trying to show a sexy picture. She took it down. I dont know what her reason was for taking it down, if she was not wanting to project that image, or if she was afraid she would get in trouble. But I do think girls need someone to tell them how pictures could be seen, and then they could make the choice what to post with more knowledge.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

This has been everywhere and I hate what she blogged. I dislike that she is putting it all on the girls to keep her sons pure. I can't stand that she is this controlling of her children.

I also pictured the whole family stalking girls from their schools to see who is the worst one while insisting her babies are pure and avoiding the devil girls.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

In some ways I agree with her...girls are posting pictures that they shouldn't be. I have told a few of my nieces to put some clothes on in their pictures (by PM I would not say anything publicly). My one niece is a model, she has posted some of her pictures from different sessions, she laughs at me when I tell her to put some clothes on (she is also 21 years old). I also don't think that girls (or even boys) realize once you put a picture online it stays online forever and could come back to haunt you when you want to go to a certain university or for a job or whatever.

BUT

She lost all credibility with me with posting pictures of her sons shirtless. Pot meet kettle... It also disturbs me how she is teaching her sons to be so judgmental of others. Robbie is not on facebook yet but when he is I will be monitoring things for bullying and such (on what he posts and what his friends post on his wall), I will not be going through all the pictures of his friends criticizing them. The other problem is blaming girls for guys having "uncontrollable lusts"...guess what that is called being human, our bodies are sexual. Not teaching your sons that they and they alone are responsible for their actions is what leads to victim blaming when rapes occur.

Being the mother of a boy makes it my responsibility to teach him to respect himself as well as others, to take responsibility for his own actions instead of blaming someone else and not to judge people by how the dress/look/act.

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

+1 for getting the hypocrite vibe.

I just have to say that I am terrified of social media for my girls and what it will evolve into in the next 10 years when they are of age to post inappropriate photos. Kids don't seem to have any concept of consequences for what they post. I don't know how to police it either because anyway I can think of keeping a eye on them, I also know ways around it.

I find girls do tend to post way more sexy shots than boys. The boys I've seen under 20 might post vulgar comments, jokes and stupid things only a 18 year old would think to do which also might make you judge them and not want them around your "pure" daughter but I would not say they are hyper sexualized like the girls.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

"Danifo" wrote:

I find girls do tend to post way more sexy shots than boys. The boys I've seen under 20 might post vulgar comments, jokes and stupid things only a 18 year old would think to do which also might make you judge them and not want them around your "pure" daughter but I would not say they are hyper sexualized like the girls.

I think boys have to be pretty extreme for society to consider anything they do to be 'sexualizing' themselves or to be considered hyper sexualized...while girls, they just have to wear a low cut shirt or super short shorts and they are hyper sexualized. Or they could have a picture of themselves in a bath towel that covers more of them than a boy in swim trunks with no shirt and one is hyper sexualized and the other isn't.

that in itself is a double standard. What would a boy have to do in order to be considered hypersexualized? Wear his pajamas? Doubt it. He'd probably have to be more naked than a girl has to be for someone to say "Wooooah, thats too much"

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

"KimPossible" wrote:

I think boys have to be pretty extreme for society to consider anything they do to be 'sexualizing' themselves or to be considered hyper sexualized...while girls, they just have to wear a low cut shirt or super short shorts and they are hyper sexualized. Or they could have a picture of themselves in a bath towel that covers more of them than a boy in swim trunks with no shirt and one is hyper sexualized and the other isn't.

that in itself is a double standard. What would a boy have to do in order to be considered hypersexualized? Wear his pajamas? Doubt it. He'd probably have to be more naked than a girl has to be for someone to say "Wooooah, thats too much"

I see more pictures where girls are trying to look sexy. I have never seen a boy post such a picture. I'm not saying they aren't out there, jut that I've never seen them. I think girls also get into trouble because they do post things intended to be innocent (like the bubble bath) or in their PJs (which just happen to be sexy).

I don't know what a boy would have to do. I have no problem with girls posting beach pictures where they are having fun and with their friends in bikinis. I do have a problem when she is 15 and the picture looks like it is an audition for Maxim.

To me that is the point though. You should be aware of the message of what you are posting. It may not be your intention to have that message but you should be aware of your message. It might be you are dressed provocatively, associated with something illegal or just doing something dumb. None of these things mean you are a bad person but it might reflect on you and affect people's decisions about you. Do I want this person to baby sit, do I want this person working for me, am I comfortable with my 13 year old hanging out with this other person.... This doesn't just apply to teenagers.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

"Danifo" wrote:

I see more pictures where girls are trying to look sexy. I have never seen a boy post such a picture. I'm not saying they aren't out there, jut that I've never seen them. I think girls also get into trouble because they do post things intended to be innocent (like the bubble bath) or in their PJs (which just happen to be sexy).

My point is...what would a boy have to do in order to be 'trying to look sexy'?? I think its pretty extreme. Where as a girl doesn't have to be as extreme in order for someone to say she's 'trying to look sexy'.

I don't know what a boy would have to do. I have no problem with girls posting beach pictures where they are having fun and with their friends in bikinis. I do have a problem when she is 15 and the picture looks like it is an audition for Maxim.

What would an similar audition look like for a boy?

I'm merely trying to point out that we give girls 'opportunities' to look sexy that simply don't exist for boys.

Dressing provacatively is almost exclusively reserved for females with very few male equivalents.

I guess i just don't think its fair to say "I see way more pictures of girls acting this way than boys" because society over sexualizes women way more than men...i don't really think its just that boys 'dont do it'...they just don't have the same sorts of opportunities too.

FTR, I"m using the word opportunity because i can't think of a better word to describe what i'm trying to say.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

"Danifo" wrote:

I see more pictures where girls are trying to look sexy. I have never seen a boy post such a picture. I'm not saying they aren't out there, jut that I've never seen them. I think girls also get into trouble because they do post things intended to be innocent (like the bubble bath) or in their PJs (which just happen to be sexy).

My point is...what would a boy have to do in order to be 'trying to look sexy'?? I think its pretty extreme. Where as a girl doesn't have to be as extreme in order for someone to say she's 'trying to look sexy'.

I don't know what a boy would have to do. I have no problem with girls posting beach pictures where they are having fun and with their friends in bikinis. I do have a problem when she is 15 and the picture looks like it is an audition for Maxim.

What would an similar audition look like for a boy?

I'm merely trying to point out that we give girls 'opportunities' to look sexy that simply don't exist for boys.

Dressing provacatively is almost exclusively reserved for females with very few male equivalents.

I guess i just don't think its fair to say "I see way more pictures of girls acting this way than boys" because society over sexualizes women way more than men...i don't really think its just that boys 'dont do it'...they just don't have the same sorts of opportunities to.

FTR, I"m using the word opportunity because i can't think of a better word to describe what i'm trying to say.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

I really like what is says in this blog post

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son | From One Degree to Another | Nate Pyle
Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son
August 14, 2013

Someday I am going to have to have the conversation with my son. No, not the conversation all parents dread giving and all kids are mortified having. I enjoy making people uncomfortable so that conversation should be fun.

No, I’m talking about another conversation. The one that happens after I catch his eye doing what male eyes do well – following an object of lust. We will probably be out at the mall, because that’s what dads do with their sons, and I’ll catch the look. Maybe we’ll go to the beach and see it. Doesn’t matter where it is, there will come a time when I will see it. And then it will be time for this conversation.

Hey, come here. Let me talk to you. I saw you look at her. I’m not judging you or shaming you. I know why you did. I get it. But we have to talk about it because how you look at a woman matters.

A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. Here is what I will tell you. It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing. You will feel the temptation to blame her for your wandering eyes because of what she is wearing – or not wearing. But don’t. Don’t play the victim. You are not a helpless victim when it comes to your eyes. You have full control over them. Exercise that control. Train them to look her in the eyes. Discipline yourself to see her, not her clothes or her body. The moment you play the victim you fall into the lie that you are simply embodied reaction to external stimuli unable to determine right from wrong, human from flesh.

Look right at me. That is a ridiculous lie.

You are more than that. And the woman you are looking at is more than her clothes. She is more than her body. There is a lot of talk about how men objectify women, and largely, it is true. Humans objectify the things they love in effort to control them. If you truly love a person, do not reduce them to an object. The moment you objectify another human – woman or man, you give up your humanity.

There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves. Son, you are better than both of these. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.

Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abuse, fear of being out of control. In some ways, the church has added to this. We fear each other because we have been taught the other is dangerous. We’ve been a taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things. Let’s be clear: a woman’s body is not dangerous to you. Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things. If you do stupid things it is because you chose to do stupid things. So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.

A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious. Respect it by respecting her as an individual with hopes and dreams and experiences and emotions and longings. Let her be confident. Encourage her confidence. But don’t do all this because she is weaker. That’s the biggest bunch of crap out there. Women are not weaker than men. They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.

I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.

My hope is that changing how you see women will change how you are around them. Don’t just be around women. Be with women.

Because in the end, they want to be with you. Without fear of being judged, or shamed, or condemned, or objectified, or being treated as other. And that’s not just what women want. That’s what people want.

Ultimately, it’s what you want.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"KimPossible" wrote:

My point is...what would a boy have to do in order to be 'trying to look sexy'?? I think its pretty extreme. Where as a girl doesn't have to be as extreme in order for someone to say she's 'trying to look sexy'.

What would an similar audition look like for a boy?

I'm merely trying to point out that we give girls 'opportunities' to look sexy that simply don't exist for boys.

Dressing provacatively is almost exclusively reserved for females with very few male equivalents.

I guess i just don't think its fair to say "I see way more pictures of girls acting this way than boys" because society over sexualizes women way more than men...i don't really think its just that boys 'dont do it'...they just don't have the same sorts of opportunities too.

FTR, I"m using the word opportunity because i can't think of a better word to describe what i'm trying to say.

I totally agree. For example, a girl wearing a low cut top and shorts may well be considered "trying to look sexy." Where as a guy wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks isn't considered "trying to look sexy" even though he's showing more skin than the girl. It's not really fair to say that girls do it more than boys, when it seems like we just don't interpret boys as "trying to look sexy" when they do things that would be considered "sexy" in a girl.

I've been thinking about it some more, and another thing that bothers me about this is that by sitting around and doing this activity as a family (judging which girls are "too sexy" and which are not) it seems to me that she is almost teaching her sons to look at these girls in this really objectifying way. Not that boys really need many lessons in seeing girls as sexual objects, but they don't need that message reinforced either. As a family, they are trolling through what sounds like relatively "innocent" pictures of girls (yes, they may be "trying to look sexy" but by her own account we are not talking about porn or strippers or anything like that, we're talking about normal teenaged girls in their jammies....) and taking a subset of them and saying "Nope, sex, BAD." You know? Like it's almost objectifying these girls more, together as a family.

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

"KimPossible" wrote:

My point is...what would a boy have to do in order to be 'trying to look sexy'?? I think its pretty extreme. Where as a girl doesn't have to be as extreme in order for someone to say she's 'trying to look sexy'.

What would an similar audition look like for a boy?

I'm merely trying to point out that we give girls 'opportunities' to look sexy that simply don't exist for boys.

Dressing provacatively is almost exclusively reserved for females with very few male equivalents.

I guess i just don't think its fair to say "I see way more pictures of girls acting this way than boys" because society over sexualizes women way more than men...i don't really think its just that boys 'dont do it'...they just don't have the same sorts of opportunities to.

FTR, I"m using the word opportunity because i can't think of a better word to describe what i'm trying to say.

I know that there aren't equivalents for boys. All I can think of in normal society are things like the firemen's calendar and stuff like that. For women, it does seem to be everywhere.

All I know is that through the limited number of teenagers I am linked to on FB, there are more girl pictures/comments that make me cringe than boys (for any reason not just sexy pictures). It could also be that I have 2 girls so I am more sensitive to the problems I might face with them.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

"KimPossible" wrote:

What would an similar audition look like for a boy?

The other day on the chat thread someone posted about an actor playing in 50 Shades of Grey. I did not know who that was so I Googled it. The pictures that came up were a perfect example of a guy trying to look sexy. Your average boy is not going to be able to pull the same thing off, but I have seen plenty of pictures of boys/men with no shirt on, their shorts very low, standing in a provocative way with the goal of attracting attention.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

The other day on the chat thread someone posted about an actor playing in 50 Shades of Grey. I did not know who that was so I Googled it. The pictures that came up were a perfect example of a guy trying to look sexy. Your average boy is not going to be able to pull the same thing off, but I have seen plenty of pictures of boys/men with no shirt on, their shorts very low, standing in a provocative way with the goal of attracting attention.

I didnt' say that they have no opportunity. I said its not the same between men and women.

meesh101's picture
Joined: 04/16/07
Posts: 16

This letter bugged me enough to make me search out P.org, after a few years away, simply to see if there was a thread on it....I figured there would be.:wink: First, no one needs her to parent their teen daughter. Second, all I could think about is, her kids WILL screw up. She has made it very clear, in her house, if you screw up, you will get kicked off of her judgmental personal island. I had my teens read it and asked them what they thought. Bethany said she's glad that's not her mom. Josiah said he'd be embarrassed if I wrote something like that. I agree with my kids. I personally believe a blog should be used to share your personal life, struggles, victories and the things that inspire you. I give very little attention to bloggers who use their blogs to teach the world how it should be and to judge others for not being on the same page. I like a quote by D.L. Moody. "I'm so busy looking at my own sin that I don't have time for the sins of the other fellow." or something like that....Mrs. Hall should take a lesson from Mr. Moody.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

"meesh101" wrote:

This letter bugged me enough to make me search out P.org, after a few years away, simply to see if there was a thread on it....I figured there would be.:wink: First, no one needs her to parent their teen daughter. Second, all I could think about is, her kids WILL screw up. She has made it very clear, in her house, if you screw up, you will get kicked off of her judgmental personal island. I had my teens read it and asked them what they thought. Bethany said she's glad that's not her mom. Josiah said he'd be embarrassed if I wrote something like that. I agree with my kids. I personally believe a blog should be used to share your personal life, struggles, victories and the things that inspire you. I give very little attention to bloggers who use their blogs to teach the world how it should be and to judge others for not being on the same page. I like a quote by D.L. Moody. "I'm so busy looking at my own sin that I don't have time for the sins of the other fellow." or something like that....Mrs. Hall should take a lesson from Mr. Moody.

Welcome back! :wavehello: Love that quote at the end. But of course there would be no debate board if we all took that to heart, LOL!

I've been stewing over this one for many days. In general I'm more on the modesty end of the spectrum not for religious reasons but just because I don't want to see man-boobs, fake boobs, rolls of fat, shaved chests, cellulite, butt cracks, butt cheeks, and varicose veins. No thank you. But I'm also very much against this rampant *Purity* thing that seems to be sweeping through Christianity like a plague. I don't want to hear about who is a virgin or not, it's nobody else's business, and I don't think simply *not* having sex constitutes purity. I don't think anyone should be sending sexy photos to anyone ever because you never know where they will end up if you break up, kwim? People do stupid things with photos when they think they've been hurt. Hard copies just get scissored; electronic copies get forwarded. Plus, it's pretty fun to look at good-looking people once in a while, and no one should feel they need to gouge their eyes out because of it. And I love love love everything Nate Pyle said. I think I'm printing that one out for later.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

I've been thinking about it some more, and another thing that bothers me about this is that by sitting around and doing this activity as a family (judging which girls are "too sexy" and which are not) it seems to me that she is almost teaching her sons to look at these girls in this really objectifying way. Not that boys really need many lessons in seeing girls as sexual objects, but they don't need that message reinforced either. As a family, they are trolling through what sounds like relatively "innocent" pictures of girls (yes, they may be "trying to look sexy" but by her own account we are not talking about porn or strippers or anything like that, we're talking about normal teenaged girls in their jammies....) and taking a subset of them and saying "Nope, sex, BAD." You know? Like it's almost objectifying these girls more, together as a family.

:thumbsup: And ITA with this, too!