In case you've been living under a rock and haven't read her letter yet, here it is.
I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through the summer?s social media photos.
We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through.
Wow ? you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pj?s this summer! Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.
I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.
I get it ? you?re in your room, so you?re heading to bed, right? But then I can?t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout. What?s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.
So, here?s the bit that I think is important for you to realize. If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.
Please know that we genuinely like staying connected with you this way! We enjoy seeing things through your unique and colorful lens ? you are funny, insightful, and often very, wise. Which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.
That post doesn?t reflect who you are at all! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?
And now ? big bummer ? we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.
I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can?t quickly un-see it? You don?t want our boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?
Neither do we. We?re all more than that.
And so, in our house, there are no second chances with pics like that, ladies. We have a zero tolerance policy. I know, so lame. But, if you want to stay friendly with our sons online, you?ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If any of you try to post a sexy selfie (we all know the kind), or an inappropriate YouTube video ? even once ? it?s curtains.
I know that sounds so old-school, but we are hoping to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don?t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.
Every day I pray for the women my boys will love. I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient ? and act honorably ? while they wait for her.
Girls, it?s not too late! If you think you?ve made an on-line mistake (we all do ? don?t fret ? I?ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down the closed-door bedroom selfies that makes it too easy for friends to see you in only one dimension.
Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy ? just like you.
You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.
Act like her, speak like her, post like her.
This has caused an internet tempest in a teapot, with some people loving what she said, and others basically saying that Mrs Hall should be teaching her boys to view women with respect regardless of whether or not they are wearing a bra, rather than just censoring the internet. Also, some found it ironic that in a post calling out girls for dressing too sexy or posing for the camera, she posted topless pictures of her boys popping muscles and whatnot.
I thought this blog had some good discussion questions:
You may agree or disagree with Mrs. Hall?s sentiments, but what I?d like you to think about while reading and then discuss are:
1. Can ****-shaming be a two-way street? Can boys be on the receiving end?
2. Is nudity/partial nudity the same as sexualized self-objectification? Is that the point Mrs. Hall is trying to make with the shirtless photos of her sons in a post that ****-shames girls? Or is she being simultaneously obtuse and preachy? Would it bother you if the Hall boys were posting shirtless pics that your daughter was exposed to?
3. Does one (or 80) sexy selfies ruin a girl, so that no ?good man? will want her? Did you experiment with your sexuality in ways that you are grateful are not forever captured on social media?
4. Is Mrs. Hall doing the right thing by openly discussing sex with her children, and their use of social media?
5. How do you feel about the comment, ?If you are friends with a Hall boy, you are friends with the Hall family?? Should tweens/teens be allowed some privacy online, or is it all an open book?
6. If you were the parent of one of these girls Mrs. Hall is talking about, how would you feel after reading this? Is there more to your daughter than one sexy facebook towel pose?
7. How does the line about ?once a male sees you naked he can never unsee it? grab you? Are their bigger implications at play there on how we validate male sexuality/desire but invalidate female sexuality?
8. And finally, is Mrs. Hall onto something? Why are so many young girls and women posting sexy, duck lipped photos of themselves? Are boys doing the same thing and we aren?t paying attention because our culture loves to be hyper-vigilant over the sexuality of young girls?
Other thoughts? Love it? Hate it? Weirded out by the idea of a family sitting down together and combing through pictures on FB looking for things to object to?