I think that is why this is bugging me a bit. She isn't teaching her daughter not to flaunt the big pile 'o presents. My DD and the little girl both got certain dolls. There are 6 in the collection. Every time DD saw hers in on the boxes she said "I have that one!" and her friend said "I have this one already and I got this one, and this one and this one for Christmas and I am getting the one you got and another one for my birthday (in august)." So it was always about her toys cause she got 3-4 times as many. I said something about both our girls needing to not make too big a deal if one got more than the other and I was told that the little girl is just excited and that is fine. She really didn't see how it would make my DD feel to have her daughter trump her with ever single gift. If mine got a playmobile set, hers got 9. If mine got a doll hers got 4. And her daughter is so excited that she can't help but go on about it. But it makes the rest of us feel like crap to be honest. It made me want to go out and buy DD more presents so she wouldn't feel bad! (I didn't) Next year we might suggest solstice for the gift exchange so that we don't have to have the post christmas present showings - cause it isn't as fun for us as it is for them. Really it isn't any fun at all.
Did you say they get gifts from a Christmas charity ON TOP of what the mom is doing???
Carolyn - 37
Wife to Chad - 39
Mom to Tom - 15
Nathan - 10
One reason I did so many gifts of books is so they would not notice the absence of gifts from Grandma's and other family. Thankfully they did not. I hope that your kids still had a great time.
I will say that this bugs me way more than DD. (I was the poor kid watching the kids with all the toys and feeling rotten when they showed off. It didn't always feel bad, but it didn't always feel good either.) I am not sure if DD has fully clued in yet. But she will. We already have talks about how different families make different choices (like when I say no to strawberries in december but another family she knows has some at home) because they have different needs.
Honestly I wouldnt worry about it to much. My kids get a few presents from us (jammies every year and at least one book) and then a couple things from Santa. Some years we spend way more on one kid then the other but that is just because of what they ask for.
My good friend however gets her kids (2 girls) a TON. Last year they told the kids it was going to be a small christmas because they had spent 2 weeks in Hawaii and 3 weeks in Alaska and then the girls got their own IPADs, a trampoline, the 13 year old got a digital SLR camera and the 8 year old got 3 American girl dolls. My big girls have noticed that her girls get more but they dont seem fazed. My oldest even said "I wonder if they even appreciate all they get, they unwrap so fast there is no way they enjoy that very much"
Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson
I would say that we get the kids 5-6 gifts from us and Santa, and that includes some clothes and other things they need. Then the Grandparents, Aunts and uncles all give gifts and it ends up being a ton! My sisters parcel didnt come in time for Christmas this year, and my response was 'good, then the kids might remember who they got those gifts from!'. This year was pretty ridiculous, as we actually went to both Grandparents house. There was at least 6 different boxes of lego alone. The kids dont appreciate that! There are 3 or 4 gifts they really love and the rest gets shuffled asside. In the past I have taken anything not opened after boxing day (still in box) and put it away to regift for birthdays during the year.
If you have to take brakes because the child is bored, then that is too many presents IMO. And yes, I even mean when the child is young. Our baby got a stocking full of his brothers old baby toys this year from Santa! I spent $7 on one new toy for him, because I saw it and thought it was cool, not because I was looking.
Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)
I think this year we spent more than we normally do. They each got three gifts from Santa, 1 group gift from santa (a new movie), and two gifts from us. For two of the kids, one of those gifts from us was fairly large in price (for us).
Their stockings are filled too, which can get a little pricey. We don't put anything HUGE in the stockings, but all the little things add up.
But you know...then they got gifts from my parents, gifts from Seamus' parents, a gift from my siblings and a gift from EACH of Seamus' siblings, money from Seamus' Nana, and another Aunt.
And then i look at it all and think HOLY COW...thats a whole lot of stuff, maybe too much.
I will confess that I have a hard time keeping a low budget when it comes to Christmas spending...and compared to a lot of friends that my kids have, i don't think we even spend that much.
For birthdays we usually give one gift...and we don't do the birthday party thing with all the kids from school. Makes no sense to me when my kids aren't even close friends to most of those children.
Cecilia Marie 1/10/10
Photo By Anne Schmidt Photography