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  1. #11
    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blather View Post
    I think that this is one thing that will totally differ on the family.

    My kids have a very small Christmas compared to most of my family in the west. They get a present from us, a present from my parents, a present from my brother, and a present from Santa, as well as a stocking. But most kids they go to school with only get a single present from Santa. So it is a teaching opportunity for us on "how not to be a jerk." We role-play with the kids so they don't go to school and say "I got this and this and this and this." They need to know it makes others feel bad.

    I think that is why this is bugging me a bit. She isn't teaching her daughter not to flaunt the big pile 'o presents. My DD and the little girl both got certain dolls. There are 6 in the collection. Every time DD saw hers in on the boxes she said "I have that one!" and her friend said "I have this one already and I got this one, and this one and this one for Christmas and I am getting the one you got and another one for my birthday (in august)." So it was always about her toys cause she got 3-4 times as many. I said something about both our girls needing to not make too big a deal if one got more than the other and I was told that the little girl is just excited and that is fine. She really didn't see how it would make my DD feel to have her daughter trump her with ever single gift. If mine got a playmobile set, hers got 9. If mine got a doll hers got 4. And her daughter is so excited that she can't help but go on about it. But it makes the rest of us feel like crap to be honest. It made me want to go out and buy DD more presents so she wouldn't feel bad! (I didn't) Next year we might suggest solstice for the gift exchange so that we don't have to have the post christmas present showings - cause it isn't as fun for us as it is for them. Really it isn't any fun at all.
    Me- Fuchsia
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    I think what you give is what you give. I think 20-30 a kid is crazy but it depends on what you are counting. If I counted all the little things in their stockings, their santa stuff and our gifts it would be 20. If I counted "real" presents it wouldn't

    We spend about 200.00 per kid at Christmas (includes stockings and Santa) and about 100.00 on birthdays. Sometimes that seems low to me but I think it depends on your family, your ability to spend and probably a regional thing. What we spend is not out of the norm here.
    We're pretty similar to Jessica. What we've done the last two years is a nicer electronics gift, an outfit (which I'd have to buy anyway since they wear out jeans so quickly), a book or educational toy, and something usually around $30 to round it out. Santa brings the things for stockings (usually about $10-$15 per kid), and a couple of smaller things. This year it was scooters for Matt and Nathan, computer stuff for Thomas, and slippers/robes. We also give each boy PJs for them to open on Christmas Eve.

    Did you say they get gifts from a Christmas charity ON TOP of what the mom is doing???
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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuchsiasky View Post
    I think that is why this is bugging me a bit. She isn't teaching her daughter not to flaunt the big pile 'o presents. My DD and the little girl both got certain dolls. There are 6 in the collection. Every time DD saw hers in on the boxes she said "I have that one!" and her friend said "I have this one already and I got this one, and this one and this one for Christmas and I am getting the one you got and another one for my birthday (in august)." So it was always about her toys cause she got 3-4 times as many. I said something about both our girls needing to not make too big a deal if one got more than the other and I was told that the little girl is just excited and that is fine. She really didn't see how it would make my DD feel to have her daughter trump her with ever single gift. If mine got a playmobile set, hers got 9. If mine got a doll hers got 4. And her daughter is so excited that she can't help but go on about it. But it makes the rest of us feel like crap to be honest. It made me want to go out and buy DD more presents so she wouldn't feel bad! (I didn't) Next year we might suggest solstice for the gift exchange so that we don't have to have the post christmas present showings - cause it isn't as fun for us as it is for them. Really it isn't any fun at all.
    It is unfortunate, but that happens. Most years we travel to NY for Christmas. We have our own little Christmas before we go, so Christmas AM we just have the extended family gifts. My brother does the same thing so his girls and my girls have about the same amount of gifts (still plenty), but my sister always brings all her gifts from them to their kids. That makes their kids getting big gifts like TV's while the rest of the kids are getting normal gifts like dolls. It irritates me, but thankfully my girls have never been upset by it (I have been). This year was much easier saying home although I missed everyone. We still had it that we were at a Christmas gathering where one of her little friends was telling of all the gifts she already knew she was getting. A tablet, a large doll house. I hurt me to think of the fact that my daughter was getting a stuffed horse and books. But Christmas AM my girls were so excited you would have thought they were given the moon.

    One reason I did so many gifts of books is so they would not notice the absence of gifts from Grandma's and other family. Thankfully they did not. I hope that your kids still had a great time.

    ~Bonita~

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    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommydearest View Post

    Did you say they get gifts from a Christmas charity ON TOP of what the mom is doing???
    Yep. It was offered to them and the mom tried to say no cause her daughter does get presents, but the charity said it was ok. So the mom said ok sure. I don't think the charity realizes how many presents this child gets. So she gets another 10+ presents from the charity. I takes her so long to open things that they have to take breaks cause she gets bored. I would not feel ok with accepting extra from charity knowing that I had enough for my child. It just means another kid maybe didn't get anything. I couldn't do it myself.
    Last edited by fuchsiasky; 01-03-2013 at 12:05 AM.
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
    DSD 15
    DSS 18
    Feline Furbabies - Sophie and Indigo

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    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
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    I will say that this bugs me way more than DD. (I was the poor kid watching the kids with all the toys and feeling rotten when they showed off. It didn't always feel bad, but it didn't always feel good either.) I am not sure if DD has fully clued in yet. But she will. We already have talks about how different families make different choices (like when I say no to strawberries in december but another family she knows has some at home) because they have different needs.
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
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    Little Babe 22/12/05


  6. #16
    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    I hope that your kids still had a great time.
    They had a great time! They all truly loved their gifts. And gave some lovely ones too. That is what the message of christmas is that I want my kids to know - that it's about what you give, not necessarily what you get. And to be truly grateful for the things that you are given, no matter how much it is. The thoughts, love and time are what make a gift, not the price tag. (I obviously needed to remember this myself!) The best gift I got was the fuzzy towel that DD got me. Cause I know she picked it out herself with me in her heart.
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
    DSD 15
    DSS 18
    Feline Furbabies - Sophie and Indigo

    Little Babe 22/12/05


  7. #17
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
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    Honestly I wouldnt worry about it to much. My kids get a few presents from us (jammies every year and at least one book) and then a couple things from Santa. Some years we spend way more on one kid then the other but that is just because of what they ask for.

    My good friend however gets her kids (2 girls) a TON. Last year they told the kids it was going to be a small christmas because they had spent 2 weeks in Hawaii and 3 weeks in Alaska and then the girls got their own IPADs, a trampoline, the 13 year old got a digital SLR camera and the 8 year old got 3 American girl dolls. My big girls have noticed that her girls get more but they dont seem fazed. My oldest even said "I wonder if they even appreciate all they get, they unwrap so fast there is no way they enjoy that very much"
    Lisa
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuchsiasky View Post
    They had a great time! They all truly loved their gifts. And gave some lovely ones too. That is what the message of christmas is that I want my kids to know - that it's about what you give, not necessarily what you get. And to be truly grateful for the things that you are given, no matter how much it is. The thoughts, love and time are what make a gift, not the price tag. (I obviously needed to remember this myself!) The best gift I got was the fuzzy towel that DD got me. Cause I know she picked it out herself with me in her heart.
    I am glad that had a great time.
    Quote Originally Posted by mom3girls View Post
    My good friend however gets her kids (2 girls) a TON. Last year they told the kids it was going to be a small christmas because they had spent 2 weeks in Hawaii and 3 weeks in Alaska and then the girls got their own IPADs, a trampoline, the 13 year old got a digital SLR camera and the 8 year old got 3 American girl dolls. My big girls have noticed that her girls get more but they dont seem fazed. My oldest even said "I wonder if they even appreciate all they get, they unwrap so fast there is no way they enjoy that very much"
    Yikes, that is a lot of gifts.

    ~Bonita~

  9. #19
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
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    I would say that we get the kids 5-6 gifts from us and Santa, and that includes some clothes and other things they need. Then the Grandparents, Aunts and uncles all give gifts and it ends up being a ton! My sisters parcel didnt come in time for Christmas this year, and my response was 'good, then the kids might remember who they got those gifts from!'. This year was pretty ridiculous, as we actually went to both Grandparents house. There was at least 6 different boxes of lego alone. The kids dont appreciate that! There are 3 or 4 gifts they really love and the rest gets shuffled asside. In the past I have taken anything not opened after boxing day (still in box) and put it away to regift for birthdays during the year.

    If you have to take brakes because the child is bored, then that is too many presents IMO. And yes, I even mean when the child is young. Our baby got a stocking full of his brothers old baby toys this year from Santa! I spent $7 on one new toy for him, because I saw it and thought it was cool, not because I was looking.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  10. #20
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    I think this year we spent more than we normally do. They each got three gifts from Santa, 1 group gift from santa (a new movie), and two gifts from us. For two of the kids, one of those gifts from us was fairly large in price (for us).

    Their stockings are filled too, which can get a little pricey. We don't put anything HUGE in the stockings, but all the little things add up.

    But you know...then they got gifts from my parents, gifts from Seamus' parents, a gift from my siblings and a gift from EACH of Seamus' siblings, money from Seamus' Nana, and another Aunt.

    And then i look at it all and think HOLY COW...thats a whole lot of stuff, maybe too much.

    I will confess that I have a hard time keeping a low budget when it comes to Christmas spending...and compared to a lot of friends that my kids have, i don't think we even spend that much.

    For birthdays we usually give one gift...and we don't do the birthday party thing with all the kids from school. Makes no sense to me when my kids aren't even close friends to most of those children.
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